Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series)

by Rachael Tonks

  He leans in as close as he can, kissing me lightly.

  A short drive later and we pull up in the huge driveway, my nerves of seeing Jocelyn and having to tell her what happened today puts me on edge. Sweat beads at the back of my neck and my hands start to shake a little, but I know I have to do this. Cole helps me out of the car and we head straight into the house. As soon as we step in, I hear Jocelyn calling out my name. I walk into the lounge, and as soon as she sees me, she lunges forward, embracing me tightly. Before releasing me she searches my face for the answers I know she’s desperate to hear.

  “What’s happened, Ken?”

  I look at her, trying to steady my breathing, hoping the right words will come out, and this won’t just be an awful jumble of nonsense.

  “Speak to me, sweetie,” she hums. “I’ve been so worried about you all day!”

  “I’m sorry,” I sigh. “The last thing I wanted was to worry you.”

  “Never mind that.” She waves her hand at me. “I just need to know you’re okay.”

  I smile sadly before beginning. “I need your help,” I start, taking a deep breath, clutching my hands together. “Please… You’re the only one I can trust to get me the answers I need.”

  She takes me by the elbow, leading me to the couch, gently guiding me until I’m sitting closely beside her. “Tell me everything, my dear.”

  I spend the next twenty minutes re-telling the whole, painful story of my run in with Dennis. I nearly vomit in my hand when I tell her what happened between us in the bathroom at school that day months back. It wasn’t something I ever wanted to share with anyone, but she has to know why I so desperately want to find the truth about this.

  Working in child protective services, I know this isn’t the first time she’s heard stories like this, stories like mine, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. I know she’s trying to not react to what I’m saying, but some expressions you just can’t hide. I know I’ve shocked her. She’s trying her damnedest to act like none of this is getting to her, but I see straight through the act, the shield she puts up.

  “Of course I will help you,” she says, her voice shaky as she continues to talk. “I will do everything I can to get you those answers, Kennedy. But you have to remain realistic. Prepare yourself that the answers may not be the ones you want to hear.”

  I nod, acknowledging that I understand. “Something inside tells me he’s not lying about this,” I say solemnly.

  She smiles sadly. “Whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?”

  “Thank you, Jocelyn. It means so much to me that you’re always there,” I say honestly.

  She stands and leans down to kiss the top of my head. “I always will be,” she says in the sweetest, heartwarming voice.

  I’m so fortunate to have her, and despite every messed up piece of bad luck I’ve ever had, she’s one more bit of good luck I know I couldn’t live without. She is my strength, my normal when everything is far from normal. I watch her as she walks over to the staircase, my eyes following her every step.

  “Come on, we have packing to do.” She smiles.

  I jump to my feet, holding my hand to my chest, feeling the beat of my heart. I realize that even though things have been so bad, I’m alive, still breathing, and I have so much to look forward to. It’s difficult to see the light when you feel like you are constantly in the dark, but I truly feel like the light is now shining brightly. I jump to my feet, a spring in my step as I follow her up the steps and toward Cole’s room.

  I walk into the room and a drastic change of temperature hits me, but not as much as the sight of Cole moving the boxes, sweat glistening over his amazing body. I blow out slowly, an unsteady breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Damn, he’s a feast to my hungry eyes.

  His every move is effortless, yet each of his defined muscles ripples with every movement he makes. My eyes travel naturally to the V muscle just above the top of his shorts. I purse my lips together as I take him in. In that instant, he turns, catching my eye. Before I can turn and act like I wasn’t eye fucking him, that slow sexy smile appears, turning him from handsome to divine. My body is flooded with a rush of warmth, and I know he’s everything I will ever want.

  He turns to me, his mouth turning from a smile to smirk as he watches me biting the corner of my lip. “You helping or just watching?” he teases.

  I stick out my tongue, trying to step over the mountains of stuff piled on the floor. I scan the room, taking in all of the boxes he’s already packed.

  “Damn, Cole, you have so much stuff!” Who knew men could stock pile junk like this.

  He lets out a loud chuckle as he lifts the boxes, one by one, piling them up.

  “Looks like you pretty much got this sorted,” Jocelyn sings on her way out. “I’m going to leave you love birds to it. Give me a shout if you need anything.”

  “Will do,” Cole huffs, resting back onto the bed.

  “Looks like you’ve been busy,” I muse, sitting beside him before turning to look at all the boxes he’s already managed to pack.

  “I think I’m pretty much done. We can finish the rest tomorrow.” He sighs, his body now lying flat on the bed. I’m so tempted to rest my head in that comfy place at the crook of his neck, where I fit perfectly, but looking at him, his whole body glistening with sweat makes me refrain. He looks up at me, his eyes narrowing as he pats the top of his chest, as though to indicate for me to lie with him. I purse my lips and shake my head.

  “No way, Cole. You seriously need to take a shower.” I laugh. “Then maybe I have plans for you,” I tease, before walking out of his room to my clutter free one.

  The next few days of school pass by quickly. I work as hard as I can, trying to make sure I get caught up on as much work as possible. I’m surprised by Dennis, who seems to have given me a wide berth since our run in. I still can’t help but think that every day could be the day Dennis ruins things between me and Cole.

  Knowing that he overheard my conversation with Pete terrifies me. I can’t help but wonder whether it would be easier to come clean. I think forward to all of the things we’ve planned and I can’t risk losing everything. Things don’t seem awkward with Pete. I haven’t seen him much, but when I have it has felt normal, like I can finally forget what happened and move on.

  I have to move on.

  We get the keys to the apartment tonight and I don’t want anything to ruin this special time for me and Cole. He’s worked so hard to make this perfect. I won’t allow anything to spoil it. This is our time.

  The bell signals the end of class. I’m so ready to go. The whole day I’ve done nothing but work as hard as possible, and I want out of here. I shove my things in my bag, throw it over my shoulder, and head out quickly, careful not to get caught up in the wave of other students all wanting to leave as fast as they can.

  I race toward the parking lot, standing on the tips of my toes, trying to remember where Cole parked his truck. I put my hand to my brow, as I try to protect my eyes from the bright sun. I slowly wander down, shimmying through the lot before giving up and pulling out my cell phone. Just call Cole, I tell myself as I search through the menu of the phone.

  “He’s not going to save you this time.”

  I jump out of my skin, the phone crashing to the pavement as I step back frantically, trying to get away from him. The shock kicks in, every inch of my body shakes as he glares at me.

  I catch my breath, summoning the courage to speak up. “What do you want, Dennis?” I squeak out.

  He steps closer, his face is in mine and my back is against one of the parked cars. I can feel his breath on my face.

  “To make you suffer,” he says slowly, pronouncing each word perfectly.

  I shiver in response. I glare at him for a moment, the evil look in his eye is familiar and I no longer feel fear. I push back on his shoulder hard, straightening my body, no longer allowing myself to be his victim.

  “Find some other fool to push around
, Dennis. I’m done.” I throw my arm in the air, trying to side step past him.

  My retreat is stopped as he grabs my arm, pinning it against the car.

  “Not so fucking fast, bitch.”

  Before I have chance to fight back, I feel his grip loosen and his body is no longer standing in front of me. I gasp loudly as I see Cole pinning him to the ground, his foot resting against Dennis’ neck. His hands clutch at Cole’s ankles as he tries to loosen the pressure from around his neck.

  “Bad fucking move, dick head,” Cole growls, increasing the pressure on his throat. I look up and we are suddenly surrounded by people. Ash pulls me to him.

  “Are you okay?” he asks breathlessly.

  I nod, desperate to get someone to step in and pull Cole away from Dennis. I don’t want him being dragged into this again. I nod over to them. “Please Ash, do something. I really don’t want Cole getting into trouble again because of this,” I choke out.

  Ash dances through the crowd of people, pulling on Cole’s arm.

  “Cole, man, you need to leave this now,” he attempts to reason with Cole.

  But he doesn’t listen. Cole reaches down, grabs Dennis by the shirt with both hands, and pulls him back to standing. Once Dennis is on his feet, Cole thrusts him against the car.

  Cole’s in his face, scowling and grating out something inaudible.

  I step toward them, my arm on Cole’s. “Honey, let’s go,” I plead. “Please, he’s not worth it.”

  “No!” Cole shouts loudly, causing me to jump back. “The bastard is not getting away with this.” He slams him violently against the car again. Dennis tries to push back, but he’s just not strong enough.

  Ash puts his hand on my shoulder, drawing me away from them, shaking his head at me.

  “What the fuck is this?” the roar of the loud voice approaching asks. I snap my head and see Pete bellowing toward us, stopping just in front of Cole and Dennis, with Jake not far behind.

  “Uh, oh, oh,” Dennis chuckles. “Here he is, the third wheel. You want to be more careful who you call your friends, Cole!” he yells right in Cole’s face.

  “Fuck, bro. What’s going on?” Pete asks.

  “This sick fuck had Kennedy pinned to a god damn car.” Cole pushes Dennis back against the car one last time before releasing him and exhaling loudly.

  “Fuck,” Pete grates out.

  Meanwhile, Jake has hold of Dennis’ arm, dragging him away and back toward the wall of the school. I crane my neck, looking over to see Jake in a heated conversation with Dennis, his back against the wall as they continue to argue. I zone back in to the voices around me. Cole’s arms wrap around me tightly. My feet leave the ground, as he pulls me up to him, kissing me lightly on the lips, over and over.

  “I’m so sorry,” he sighs, his head dropping onto my forehead.

  “Sorry?” I ask studying his face. “It’s not your fault that Dennis has it in for me.”

  “No, I mean, I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you were looking for me. I had an errand to run. I thought I would be back in time for you. I’m sorry I was late.”

  “It’s okay,” I answer, as he sets me down, his hold never loosening.

  He bends his head, his beautiful eyes meeting mine. “Did he hurt you?” he asks, the pain dancing over his expressions as he tries to find the answer. “Because if he has, I’m going over there and ripping that fucker’s head off,” he whispers, his body tense and teeth clenched.

  “I’m okay,” I answer honestly. “A little shook up, but okay.”

  He grabs my hand tightly, leading me toward his truck. He clearly stopped in the middle of the parking lot and jumped out.

  “Let’s go.” He smiles, opening the passenger side door, helping me into the huge truck.

  I look back over my shoulder, as Pete and Ash follow behind us. Pete glances at me with a look of sympathy on his face. I quickly smile back. Trying not to get drawn in by him, I reach out and close the door to the truck. I watch as Cole stands outside, his arms folded across his chest as he talks to the boys. Ash walks to the rear door, opening it. He gets in and belts up. I swivel in my seat, turning to face Ash.

  “He’s never going to stop, is he?”

  “Who? Dennis?”

  I hum, in acknowledgement. The truth was, he wasn’t going to leave me alone until he got what he wanted. I just had no idea what that was.

  “I don’t get what his problem is,” Ash answers, “I mean, if he was there, and his mom took him away because she realized what a fucked up place it was, then surely he knows what hell you’ve been through. He should sympathize with you, not hate you for it. I really don’t fucking get it.”

  I tremble, knowing that what he says makes sense. I don’t get it either.

  Cole swiftly opens the door. I whip my head to the side, watching his hand as it lands on my lap.

  He looks between me and Ash. “What’s the silence all about?” he asks, like he thinks we were talking about him.

  “We’re just trying to work out what his problem is,” I breathe out heavily, my hand falling onto his.

  “I think this is less about you and more about just how fucked up he is in the head. You just seem to be the target of his inner torture.”

  “But when will it end, Cole? When will I be able to walk through school without fearing he’s going to say something, or worse, do something?”

  He closes his eyes slowly, his lids looking heavy has he hangs his head a little, not really knowing what to say to me. His eyebrows scrunch together and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

  “I should have finished that fucker,” he quietly growls. “Honestly, Ken, if he lays another finger on you, I won’t be responsible for my fucking actions.”

  “You can’t let him get to you, man. You have to be there for Ken without getting into a fucking fist fight every time!” Ash leans between the gap of the seats, his nose pointing forward and his eyes bulging. His gothic like features looking all dramatic makes me chuckle a little to myself. I sit there with my hand against my mouth, glancing between the two of them.

  “You need to keep that hot head of yours under control, man.” He taps the side of Cole’s head with his index finger. Cole laughs before turning and pushing Ash easily back into his seat.

  “Belt up, goth boy. We got a shit to do.”

  Ash lets out one loud “ha” sound before strapping in.

  Cole puts the car in drive and maneuvers out of the parking lot, heading toward home. Well not home for much longer, just home for now. I push my clutched hands between my legs, a little bit of excitement buzzing through me. Thoughts of me and Cole waking up together, just the two of us, sends a little thrill through me. I stare out of the window, the brightness of the day reflects in the side view mirror, and I notice Pete’s car following us.

  I look over to Cole and back to the mirror and back over to him again. His lip curls ever so sexily at the corner as he studies my confused expression.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks with a little flick of his head.

  “Why is Pete following us?” My words seem to tumble out and I’m pretty sure I’m screwing up my face.

  “He’s helping us with the move.” He chuckles.

  “Oh! You never said.” I look over to him as he positions his hips off of the seat, digging into his pocket. I look at his hand as he pulls out a set of keys and jingles them in front of me. I twist my body toward him and sit up, taking the keys from his hand. I clutch them tightly, resting my hands on my knees.

  “Shit!” I laugh nervously. “This is really happening, huh?”

  “Sure is, baby.” He smiles that wide tooth revealing smile and my insides tighten at his genuine excitement of being with me. The excitement of us starting the next chapter of our lives.

  “Soooo,” Ash sings, “less of the mushy shit. Let’s talk housewarming!”

  “Shit. Not you too,” Cole jokes.

  I shoot him a look of confusion.

  “Pete!” he says
.

  I ought to have known. He always likes a party.

  “I think he’s going to bring that red headed chick again from the bar. You remember her from the pool party?”

  “Hmmm, Lizzy,” I spit out. “How could we forget?” I gesture with my hands in front of my breasts. Both of the boys fall into a fit of laughter.

  “That’s the one,” Cole answers through his amusement.

  “She’s nice though, right?” Ash pipes up, squeezing my shoulder.

  “Well, if you like that sort of thing, I guess so.” I fold my arms across my chest, staring out of the car only to see Pete with his head hanging out of his window, tongue slung out at the side. I hold my hand over my face in embarrassment.

  “What the hell is he doing?” I screech.

  Ash spins in his seat, looks out the back window, and lets out a howl of laughter. This guy is unbelievable. The car fills with laughter and I can’t help but ache a little. I’m not sure I can even explain why, I just hope that I haven’t ruined our relationship by fucking up and giving him the wrong signals.

  We pull in the driveway, jump out, and head inside. I slowly walk up the staircase, to my room to get the few belongings I have. It’s not much, but I’m grateful to Jocelyn for everything she has done for me. I have obtained more belongings during my few months stay here with Jocelyn, than I ever had from my life in the commune.

  I grab the few bags I have and waddle toward the stairs.

  “Uh oh, no you don’t,” Cole sings, snatching the bags out of my hand. “You know you shouldn’t be carrying these, baby.”

  “It’s only two bags of clothes, Cole,” I huff.

  “Still. I will take these for you,” he demands.

  I can’t help but cross my arms and sigh loudly in frustration. I don’t need to be babied.

  He doesn’t look back once he takes the bags. He carries them effortlessly down the stairs, leaving me standing there like a stroppy child.

  I hear Cole’s footsteps approaching again, his head quickly appearing in my line of sight. His eyes trail down to my crossed arms and he shakes his head, laughing lightly. He taps me jokily on the ass as he passes by. I jump with a shock of excitement, my glum expression lifting to one where I’m trying to force back my smile.