A Girl Divided

by Ellen Lindseth

  Forgetting her own problems, Genie reached for her friend as Lavinia began to cry in earnest. “Hush. Accidents happen. Wars happen. None of that was your fault. Nathan may be gone, but you still have me. We’ll go to California together to live with my aunt. And when you feel better, you’ll find love again. You’ll see.”

  When you were home, did you long for nothing?

  Lavinia’s words haunted Genie long after her friend had calmed down and fallen into an uneasy slumber. Like Lavinia, she supposed she, too, would like to love and be loved. Her heart did still ache a little when she thought of Ted, but she hadn’t fallen apart after he’d pushed her away. And as much as she secretly hoped Dick liked her, securing his affections wasn’t exactly her dream. Though she wouldn’t mind if she did. Dick was . . . exciting. Always in motion, always thinking. She liked that about him.

  Nor had she lied when she said her goal was still to go home after the war. She loved her father and Zhenzhu and desperately wanted to see them again. Yet living there for the rest of her life, hemmed in by the mountains, isolated by race and culture, alone with her translations . . . she wouldn’t call that her dream, either. If she was honest with herself, a part of her had always been envious of her father’s adventures. Traveling the breadth of India and then visiting Cape Town had only whetted that appetite.

  Was that her dream, then? To see the world? Except, when Nathan had offered her a chance to see Africa as his wife, she had been singularly unmoved.

  If you could have one thing from life . . . what would it be?

  The question was deceptively simple, yet Genie found over the next few days, as she labored over creating a travel itinerary that would get her and Lavinia to California, that she had no easy answer for it. Too many conflicting emotions would rise up within her, giving her a headache.

  More often than not, she would shove the question aside. Unless a miracle happened, the war was likely to drag on for at least another six months, if not a year. Perhaps longer. She had gleaned that much from candid conversations with the captain. And even if said miracle did happen, she had Lavinia to consider. Until her friend recovered her footing after this latest blow, Genie had resolved to stay with her. No one should be alone when grieving so many deaths in so short a period. So there was no point in trying to determine what she wanted. All that mattered in the foreseeable future was already set.

  The final few days aboard ship disappeared entirely too fast, like snowflakes landing on a mountain stream. It was only at Dick’s gentle prodding that she made herself leave Lavinia’s side long enough to go on deck for their arrival in New York Harbor.

  Hovering between terror over her upcoming journey across the United States and worry about leaving Lavinia alone in the cabin—her friend having retreated into an almost catatonic state of grief—Genie watched the shoreline silently slide by. It was her first glimpse of her new home, her new country. Some might argue her real country.

  To be fair, New York City was majestic in the early-morning sunlight, as grand as the cities of Bombay and Cape Town and yet in a class entirely its own. Off to one side, Lady Liberty loomed on her island of exile, welcoming Genie to the golden gleaming shores. Yet a deep loneliness stole over her. This was her parents’ land, not hers. There was no pull on her heart, no reaching out to her soul.

  “Miss Baker.” Lieutenant Andersen, the same officer who had told her of Nathan’s passing, joined her at the rail.

  Her stomach twisted. “More bad news?”

  “Yes and no.” He took a deep breath. “The communications officer on shore was able to send your cable to your father. So you can rest easy on that count. However, I’m sorry to report he was unable to reach your aunt at the address you provided, and further checking with the telephone operator resulted in no leads. Apparently she and your uncle moved out of town a year ago, with no forwarding address.”

  “Uncle?” This was news to her, and the shock of it temporarily overrode the fact that her aunt was missing. Did her father know Aunt Hazel had married?

  “Is there anyone else we might try on your behalf?”

  His question brought her new situation into sharp focus, abruptly replacing her surprise with sheer panic. She pressed her hand to her chest, trying to calm her suddenly pounding heart. “No, no one.”

  “I’m sorry, miss.”

  “Wait.” She grabbed his arm when he started to turn away. “Did you by any chance get my aunt’s married name?”

  “Sharkey, miss. Mrs. Arthur Sharkey.”

  “Thank you.” Genie released his arm, even as her thoughts whirled. “And tell the captain not to worry; I’ll be all right. And Mrs. Schmidt, too.”

  The officer nodded and then left. Genie hardly noticed for the chaos in her head. Her entire plan had hinged on Aunt Hazel helping her with both practical and financial matters. Not only did Genie have no idea how to handle the purchase of train tickets and lodging, but apparently what little money Nathan had left her was becoming less valuable with each passing day due to a recent spike in inflation—a word she barely understood even after the captain explained it several times.

  How did I end up like this?

  The answer was easy: the war.

  She glanced again at the New York skyline and the busy harbor front. Perhaps she and Lavinia should skip the trip to California and stay here and look for work. After being on the move for almost two months straight, she had little desire to keep traveling. Particularly when there would be no one to greet them. Perhaps it would be better to save what little she had left and find her and Lavinia a room to let while she tried to locate her aunt.

  But what if she couldn’t find her? What she knew about finding a job was rivaled in its meagerness only by what she knew of finding a place to stay.

  “What a heavy sigh,” Dick said, joining her at the rail. “I take it the view doesn’t move you?”

  “It’s not that. My aunt is MIA,” she said, using some of her newly learned slang. She rubbed her aching temples. “Lieutenant Andersen just stopped by to inform me. Honestly, I can’t think how anything else in this journey could possibly go wrong.”

  “The ship could sink before we weigh anchor. But let’s not think about that.”

  “No. Let’s not.” She laughed softly, her mood lifting a bit. “How is it you always know what to say to make me feel better?”

  “It’s a gift.” He smiled at her, but a haunted sadness in his hazel eyes remained. One that had been there too much of late. As if sensing her concern, he looked away at the passing buildings. “So what will you do?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t help but feel this is somehow my fault.” Her gaze fell to the rail, where her knuckles were white from gripping the metal so tightly, as tight as the guilt gripping her chest. “I keep thinking that if I hadn’t been so short with him, if I hadn’t wished myself free—”

  “That he wouldn’t have died?” Dick asked sharply. “Don’t flatter yourself. The universe doesn’t work that way. Sterling fell down those stairs all on his own. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. You weren’t even there.”

  But Lavinia had been, and despite Genie’s direct question, her friend hadn’t actually said what her “curse” was. All Genie knew was that it had something to do with love and it supposedly killed people. Perhaps her friend had a murderous temper? Genie discarded the idea as ridiculous almost as soon as it surfaced. Yes, Lavinia could be impulsive, but Genie hadn’t seen any signs of intemperate violence.

  “I’m sorry all this has fallen on your shoulders,” Dick said, interrupting her thoughts. “But I have an idea, if you’d like to hear it.”

  She gave herself a mental shake. “Of course.”

  “I’ve got an apartment in LA where you and Lavinia can stay while you look for your aunt. LA isn’t far from where you said your aunt last lived. And it’s not like I’ll be using the apartment anytime soon,” he added when she started to protest. “Uncle Sam has already booked my services for the next six
weeks. Plenty of time for you to get back on your feet.”

  “Where will you be?”

  “DC and then . . . places I probably shouldn’t mention.”

  “Because of the war?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Anyway, the apartment’s not large, but there’s a bed and a fold-out couch and a private bath. The neighborhood isn’t bad, either. And thanks to the government, the rent’s already paid through the end of August, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that right away. What do you think?”

  She drew her first free breath in what felt like ages as a whole layer of stress dropped away like snow off a branch. “I don’t know what to say. That’s very generous of you.”

  “Not at all. It’s the least I could do for a friend in need.”

  “Is that what we are, friends?” She glanced up at him, aware of the wistfulness that had crept into her voice.

  “Ah, Genie . . .” A small smile quirked his lips as he raised his hand and brushed an errant strand of hair from her face. She leaned into his touch, the warmth of his fingertips on her skin releasing something inside of her, making her feel less frightened and alone.

  His smile deepened as he tucked her hair behind her ear and continued in a low husky voice that made her shiver, “In a perfect world, we would be much more than friends.”

  She glanced up, and her breath caught at the sincerity in his hazel eyes, now more green than gold. Her pulse skittered as his fingers gently slid to the nape of her neck. Her thoughts scattered in utter disarray; she wasn’t sure whether she should pull away or lean in. The tobacco and spice of his aftershave wrapped around her senses as he bent closer, making her heart pound harder.

  “You are such a treasure.” His breath feathered over the sensitized skin of her ear, and her entire being shivered this time. The urge to run got infinitely stronger, but so did the one to stay. “A wondrous creature I could spend the rest of my life getting to know.”

  “Oh, I’m not—” she began, trying to impose reason, but the battle was lost the instant his lips touched hers. Any misgivings were drowned by shock and then bliss as he deepened the kiss. Then she stopped thinking at all.

  Her arms slid up and around his neck. In response, he pulled her tighter against him until there was no space between them anymore. Part of her knew that her behavior was improper, but it felt so wonderful to let go and, for a moment, forget. To feel so desired, adored . . . wanted . . . all the things she secretly craved. She couldn’t have walked away if she had tried.

  Dick finally broke the kiss and drew back. Dazed, she stared up at him. Both of them were breathing hard. The experience had been so different from when Ted had kissed her, she didn’t know what to think. She didn’t remember feeling quite this off-balance before, almost terrified. Like she had done something wrong.

  “I’ll make the call as soon as we make port.” He cupped her face with his hand. She had never seen his eyes so green. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything and then come see you as soon as my assignment is up.”

  She forced her brain to think. “Wait. I can’t just move in . . . I’ve got Lavinia with me, and we’re almost out of money.”

  “Already thought about that. Remember when I said I had a friend who worked for Vultee? I’m sure I could land you both positions there, if you don’t mind being around airplanes all day.”

  A laugh of amazement escaped her as excitement fizzed through her veins. “I would love it. And I’m pretty sure Lavinia won’t mind, if it means we get to eat.”

  He seized her hand and then dropped it to touch her face again. His expression was tender. “Thank you for letting me do this for you. I’ve been so worried since Sterling passed away.”

  “It’s I who should be thanking you!” she said, shaking her head, still not quite able to believe the change in circumstances. “I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve such kindness.”

  A sudden shadow passed over his face as he slid his fingers over her jaw, his touch feather-light. “With you, it’s easy to be kind. You make me want to be a better man, better than is likely possible.”

  Her chest constricted, caught between the need to comfort him and confusion that he should be in need of it. But then he smiled as if nothing were wrong and squeezed her shoulder. “We’re going to be docking soon. Why don’t you check on Lavinia and make sure she’s all packed? Once we’re all ashore, I’ll make sure to find you two, and then we can all head to the train station together.”

  “That would be lovely.” Then she added, now that he was no longer touching her and she could think again, “But I don’t want to inconvenience you. I’m sure I can figure out the train schedules myself. LA should be an easy enough destination.”

  “You mentioned you were short on money?”

  “If Lavinia and I economize, we should be fine.” At least she hoped so, because the alternative of borrowing money from Dick, too, was more than she could bear.

  His lips quirked into a lopsided smile as he gazed down at her. “Not that I doubt your abilities, but I would feel better if I went with you. Just to be sure you were all right.”

  Wonder filled her that such a man as Dick had come to care about her. He had seen so much, been so many places, known so many women. It was beyond flattering, and a little terrifying.

  She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat. “I should go check on Lavinia. And tell her about the change in plans.”

  Not waiting for a response, she hurried away, praying she wouldn’t trip. Her legs were shaking badly as her body tried to absorb all that had happened in the last half hour. She uttered another prayer as she reached the cabin the door that the news about her aunt and the arrangement with Dick wouldn’t drive her friend further into the dark world that had gripped her.

  “Lavinia, I’m . . .”

  She trailed off as she saw a very pale Lavinia sitting up on her bunk, with an immaculately attired Kitty standing not far away, near the porthole. Kitty’s eyes flashed with open hostility as she glanced at Genie. The air in the cabin was electric with tension.

  Keeping her eye on the pair, Genie closed the door behind her. “Hello, Kitty. Did I interrupt something?”

  Kitty straightened her gloves with a sharp tug on each wrist. “Not at all. I was just leaving.”

  I bet, Genie thought as she walked deeper into the cabin. The spots of color blooming high on her friend’s cheeks sparked a feeling of dread within her. “Are you all right, Lavinia?”

  “Oh yes. Miss Van Nuys just offered to buy us tickets to California,” Lavinia said tightly. “Isn’t that nice?”

  “Offered might not be the right word,” Kitty snapped.

  Lavinia turned to Genie, her eyes unnaturally bright. “Of course I accepted, because I so want to fly in an airplane again. Don’t you? And this time I intend to be awake the whole time, so I can enjoy it.”

  Genie’s heart beat unevenly. Did she want to fly again? It had been her secret dream since landing in Calcutta. But the expense . . . Reluctantly, she turned to Kitty. “That’s very generous of you, but we can’t accept. There’s no way I’ll be able to repay you.”

  “Oh, we don’t have to, do we, Kitty?” Lavinia said with a cold laugh, and a chill slid up Genie’s spine. This was a side of her friend she hadn’t seen before. One that was frankly a little frightening.

  Kitty’s red lips compressed into a hard, thin line, and the tension in the air ratcheted up another notch. Her kid-gloved hands tightened into fists and then opened, only to fist again. “No. Mrs. Schmidt and I have agreed the tickets are to be a gift.” She glanced at Genie. “She said you’re going to California?”

  “Yes, Los Angeles,” she said slowly, still not sure she should accept. Something about the deal felt off. “It turns out we’ll be staying at Dick’s apartment for a few weeks. The address I had for my aunt is outdated, and it might take some time to find her.”

  Kitty laughed darkly. “And how like Dick to swoop to the rescue of a pretty girl!”
<
br />   “If you mean how like him to be kind in general, then yes, it was,” Genie said, her patience with the woman wearing thin.

  “You didn’t accept, did you?” Lavinia asked, drawing Genie’s attention back from the infuriating blonde. To her surprise, her friend looked stricken, her face drawn and pale.

  “He won’t be there,” Genie reassured her friend quickly. “He’ll be away on assignment for at least six weeks, so there’s nothing improper about it.”

  “And so the plot thickens,” Kitty said with a mocking smile.

  Lavinia narrowed her eyes at Kitty. “Genie, did I ever mention that Miss Van Nuys was there when Nathan fell?”

  The smile dropped from Kitty’s perfectly drawn lips. Her expression hardened. “Don’t push, Nia.”

  To Genie’s surprise, Lavinia paled again. Real concern for her friend had her stopping Kitty as the blonde brushed past her. “Wait, what’s going on between you two? Why are you even here? It’s been over a week since Nathan died, a week where you couldn’t be bothered once to check on Lavinia.”

  “We all have reasons for what we do, Miss Baker,” Kitty said coolly. “Reasons we may or may not share, but they are still there. It would be wise of you to remember that.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “More like a warning that if you sleep with vipers, you will get bitten.”

  Lavinia shot to her feet. “How dare you—”

  Kitty turned to Lavinia, her expression diamond-hard. “I wasn’t talking about you, Nia, dear. We have an agreement, remember?”

  Lavinia collapsed back onto the cot as the door slammed shut behind Kitty.

  Genie’s stomach twisted as a plague of doubts clawed at her. She had accepted Dick’s offer because having a place to stay would make things so much easier for her and Lavinia. But what if it was a mistake? What if it was improper, and she would be branding her and Lavinia as loose women before they even had a chance to settle in to their new city?

  Lord above, she wasn’t ready for this. The future yawned in front of her like a set trap. One false step and she might never make it home. It didn’t help that Genie now had new worries about Lavinia, too. The last few minutes had renewed her suspicions that Nathan’s death hadn’t been accidental. Yet the depth of Lavinia’s grief was real and argued against any involvement on her side. Maybe Kitty, whom Genie hadn’t even known was there when Nathan fell? Yet how could she be sure Lavinia hadn’t been lying about that? She knew her friend wasn’t above shading the truth when it suited her.