Magic and Mayhem: Wicked Is As Wicked Does (Kindle Worlds Novella)

by Cherie Marks

  I turned on Clooney. “How could you do that?”

  “What? Try to save your life?”

  “I wasn’t in any danger.”

  “Looked and sounded to me like you were getting smothered to death. How was I supposed to know you’re into that kind of kinky stuff?”

  I marched across the porch to loom over him as he still lounged on the railing. “Don’t be ridiculous. We were just kissing. That’s all.” I tilted my head slightly as something else caught my notice. “Is your hair green now? If you keep dying your hair, it’s going to fall out in chunks.”

  “Don’t try to change the subject. That kiss looked pretty hot and heavy to me. Do we need to have the talk?”

  “Puh-lease. When I want advice from a furball, I’ll go talk to woodland creatures before I take relationship advice from you. Clearly, you have commitment issues and possibly a sex addiction. Why would I want you to tell me how to handle Dane?”

  He jumped down from the railing, lifting his tail high in the air before stalking toward the edge of the porch. “So, is that the plan then? Going all the way with your boss? Kind of cliché and beneath you, don’t you think? Really expected more from you.”

  “Oh, that’s rich coming from the guy who calls his revolving door of dates, his harem. Talk about cliché.”

  “Well, seems like you have it all figured out. What do you need a furball like me for? I’ll just see my way out.” He put his front two paws on the exterior of the house and lengthened his body in a lazy stretch.

  I didn’t like where this was going, but I’d already committed to this stubborn path. I turned my back on him and spoke harshly, saying, “Don’t let the door hit you.”

  As I pulled my key from my pocket again, I waited to hear his smart aleck remark, but when it didn’t come, I turned and stared at the empty space where he’d been stretching just moments before. I was surprised he’d left without a word. It wasn’t like him not to try to get the last dig in before he disappeared into the night.

  Had I been too hard on him? He’d struck a nerve with me, and I’d gotten defensive to the point that I might have gone too far. For the longest time, Clooney and I were a team. He was all I had for guidance and protection. Yet, the real reason I’d connected so closely with him was because he was my only remaining tie to my mother. He was the only one telling me my mother hadn’t been wicked, and that I wouldn’t be either.

  Now, after the night I had had, I might have chased away the only true friend I had left.

  Chapter 11

  The next week seemed to fly by with the routine Dane and I had set. Nothing seemed to change as I didn’t feel like I was getting any better at all, and my attraction to Dane was near to impossible to ignore. Each of our lessons usually ended with breathless kisses, but so far we hadn’t taken it any further, though I really, really wouldn’t mind. It was only Dane’s restraint that kept us from taking things beyond kisses and clothes-in-the-frickin’-way petting. At least he was completely healed from Clooney’s attack. He was apparently out over two hundred bucks for a pair of designer pumps, but he didn’t seem to mind. I had to wonder if he had more money than a teacher normally did. Like, a lot more.

  Yet, despite the regularity of my days, my world had devolved into a place where I had no confidant to talk all this confusing stuff out with because Celia and the other Mounters seemed to be avoiding me like yesterday’s cafeteria meatloaf. Of course, could also be I was doing my best to avoid them too. It was easier than making excuses for why I still hadn’t dished about all things Dane Calvin. I certainly wasn’t ready to walk into that manure pile.

  And to top it all off, Clooney still hadn’t come home.

  That worried me more than anything else. I didn’t like not knowing where he was or whether my final words to him would be just that—the last ones I ever spoke to him. I didn’t like the idea of that. Not when he meant so much more to me than some snarky remark, and after some time to think things out, I knew he’d only been trying to watch over me like always.

  I was so afraid I would never get the chance to apologize.

  “A lot on your mind?”

  I turned my gaze from the view outside the passenger side window and stared into Dane’s beautiful eyes. He looked genuinely concerned, and I almost told him what was really making me so anxious, but I didn’t think he’d understand, considering the last time he’d seen Clooney, he’d used Dane as a scratching post.

  Instead, I shrugged and fessed up to the other thing that had me chewing my pitiful nails down to the cuticle, “Not sure how to talk to other witches, warlocks, and such that I meet today.”

  “Well, it’s mostly Shifters, so they will look completely human. At least when they’re not in their animal form.”

  “Shifters? Like, they change into animals? What kind of animals?”

  “All kinds really. There are wolves, raccoons, skunks, kangaroos, chipmunks. You name the animal, and there’s probably someone who transforms into it.”

  The information sunk in, and I couldn’t help but ask, “Kangaroos? Really? In West Virginia?”

  “Well, one in particular. He’s the adopted son of the King of the Shifters, Mac. Goes by the name of Jeeves.”

  “Okay. Not knocking this so far, but that’s a little odd.”

  “Hey, everyone’s got their own brand of crazy. Don’t judge, sweetheart. Pretty sure you might have some issues a therapist would have a heyday with.”

  My chin dropped, and I crossed my arms. “Don’t hold back, Dane. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “I don’t mean anything by that. Just want you to keep an open mind when you meet people today. They’re not exactly the usual brand of normal. Forewarned is forearmed.”

  I saw his point but wasn’t ready to concede entirely just yet. “I assume there will be, but are there going to be other witches there too?”

  “Zelda will be there. Oh, and more than likely, her neighbor, Sassy will see the crowd and come over. She pretty much drives Zelda crazy, but she’s dating Jeeves, so there’s no avoiding her.”

  “This just went from an odd situation to cable network, TV reality-show hit.”

  “From what I’ve been told, it’s pretty wild twenty-four, seven around here. Probably would make for good entertainment, as long as it didn’t kill you.”

  That made me sit up straight. “Is that really a concern? Is my life in danger?”

  He seemed to weigh the idea for a moment before saying, “No more than usual.”

  “Aren’t you hilarious?” I crossed my arms and shook my head. “You’re just kidding me?”

  “Um, not exactly. Seems like something dangerous is always happening around this bunch.”

  For a few silent moments, I sat contemplating what was about to happen. Dane was running a nervous hand over the back of his neck, which only made me want to run away that much faster.

  He cleared his throat and surprised me with his next question. “You know, after today, what say we just forget this whole mess and take off for Fiji or somewhere tropical like that.”

  “What do you mean? Like, for a week or two? I don’t have that many personal days to take off school.”

  “No. I mean, we leave permanently. And never come back. What do you say?”

  I really didn’t know where this was coming from. Oddly enough, I had noticed that when he didn’t know I was watching him, Dane gave me looks that seemed to be the saddest he’d ever given. Did he know something I didn’t?

  “What would be the consequences of that?”

  He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he tapped the steering wheel of the car nervously for a full thirty seconds before explaining, “End of the world as we know it, but we’d enjoy the last weeks of existence together.”

  “As awesome as a trip to Fiji sounds, I’m not quite ready for it to be the last trip I ever take. What brought this on?”

  With a shrug, he turned into a long driveway. “Nothing. Just forget I said anything. I’m
thinking dumb thoughts out loud. No big deal.”

  But now I had to wonder what Dane wasn’t telling me.

  We pulled up a high hill to a white Victorian with a wraparound porch and turrets, and Dane’s strange question evaporated as I took in the sight in front of me. I was in awe as my mouth dropped open and my eyes widened. It was one of the most beautiful homes I’d ever seen, and I was starting to feel like I might be underdressed. I closed my mouth and glanced down at my jeans and my t-shirt with the words, “Always be yourself! Unless you can be Wonder Woman. Then always be Wonder Woman,” scrawled across it. I thought it was cute, but now that we were pulling up to the house, I felt like I should’ve thought out my outfit a little more.

  “I’m not feeling too well, Dane. Maybe we should do this another time.”

  He put the car in park and stared at me for a few quiet seconds. “Are you feeling sick or just nervous?”

  “At this point, it doesn’t feel like there’s a difference.”

  “They’re going to love you. Trust me in this, there’s no way you can mess this up.” He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and I leaned in to feel the fullness of his muscular arms. His unique scent of the forest and something spicy invaded my thoughts until I just wanted to snuggle up and kiss his lips until I was working to catch my breath and slow my heart. He seemed to sense where my thoughts were because the minute our gazes collided, his lips were on mine, and his kisses seemed desperate, like some hidden emotion drove them.

  As our tongues slid against each other and his hands roamed along the sides of my torso until his thumbs stroked the underside of my breasts through my shirt, I moaned with the awareness that we were making out like a couple of teenagers in a driveway where anyone could see us. There was something so forbidden yet so tantalizing about that.

  He slipped his hands under the hem of my t-shirt and lifted my bra until he could lightly pinch and rub my nipples. He pulled back from the kiss with a tilt to his lips and a hunger in his eyes. I dropped my head back on my shoulders with a groan. I knew I should stop this, but I couldn’t seem to make myself do it.

  I didn’t even stop him when he lifted my shirt and ducked his head to pull one of my nipples into his mouth. A small thought, way in the back of my brain, tried to work its way forward. I tried to get worried about getting caught right now, but it just felt too good. As his tongue went to work on my nipple, one of his hands slipped down the waistband of my jeans. The minute his fingers brushed the silk of my underwear, right over my clit, I sunk into the pleasure. It felt so good as he rubbed circles, and against all rational thought, I felt an orgasm building.

  More than likely, the danger of the situation heightened my desire because I went over the edge quicker than I ever had. Squeezing and rubbing my hands over his back as he used his fingers and mouth to wring every last cry from me. Slowly, the orgasm ebbed, and my muscles loosened, and I was feeling none of my previous anxiety.

  As he sat back with a satisfied grin, I reached to return the favor, but even as he met my gaze with excitement, someone…or a number of someones…started banging on the driver’s side window, making both of us jump in reaction.

  “You getting out or what?”

  “Come on! The card game’s about to start. We need another suck…er…player. Yeah, another player is what we need.”

  Outside of the window were three, short men with hair that stuck up on the top of their heads and goggling eyes that made me take a serious double take. Their mouths continually smacked on gum. At least I hoped it was gum. I swiveled my focus to Dane, who didn’t seem surprised at all by the strange, little men. I had to wonder how long they’d been there and exactly what they’d seen.

  Dane rolled the window down about half-way. “Chip, you might want to back up a little bit, so we can get out of the car.

  As we exited, I got a good glimpse of the pint-sized boy-men in their red overalls. They stared me up and down, but quickly dismissed me to grab for Dane’s hand. They didn’t seem to be concerned about what had just happened between Dane and me, so I let it drop for now.

  “Come on! We need money…er…I mean to say…we need another friend for the card game.”

  “Whoa! Chad, slow down. I’m not here to gamble. I’m going to stick with Evie and introduce her around.”

  Chunk’s eyes bulged even more as he turned to look at me once again. “Shecancometoo!”

  At first, I thought he was just chattering incoherently, but as all their eyes turned on me with curiosity, I realized he’d actually said something at high speed. It started to become clear what he’d been trying to communicate when all three of them were suddenly behind me, little hands shove-groping my ass and moving me toward the house.

  Dane tried to get out in front of us, holding up his hands to try to stop the momentum as he said, “I don’t know, guys. She might need to start slow and build to hanging out with Fat Bastard and you guys. No need to chase her off within the first hour.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous! We’re some of the nicest guys in this whole place.”

  I did a fake right and turned left, jogging a few feet away. “Look! I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know which one of you did it, but no one else better pinch my butt. I’m done with this.”

  Holding his pointer finger up at the three little pushy guys to keep them standing where they were, Dane walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Let me explain. They’re chipmunk Shifters and probably addicted to gambling. Sorry, last time I was here, I played a couple hands of cards with them before I realized they weren’t going to stop until they’d taken all my money. The worst part about it though was that I was genuinely winning, so I think their games last so long because they lose so much money. Everybody quits out of pure exhaustion. Of course, if Fat Bastard is dealing, then house always wins anyway.”

  Dane said so many things I didn’t understand that I didn’t even know where to begin asking questions. I just wanted to know how we were going to deal with our current dilemma.

  I sighed heavily. “So, how do we get rid of them?”

  “Let’s walk over to the card table with them. We’ll talk to the cats hanging out there. Then, we’ll make our excuses and let them get back to playing.”

  I looked around him at the gum-smacking trio and wanted to deny their request, but then, I stared just a little too long into their goggle eyes and couldn’t make myself say no. They were kind of cute, in a weird kind of way.

  “Fine! Let’s go, but I’m not letting those three anywhere near my butt again.”

  As we walked up the hill to the front yard, I nearly peed my pants with anxiety. There were people everywhere, and I felt I stuck out like a green apple among a bushel of red. But I stayed next to Dane, and gave a tremulous smile to the faces I passed.

  Relief filled me as Dane’s hand touched mine. I grabbed on like he was my lifeline and squeezed with all the nervousness I was experiencing. My skin tingled as shocks of warmth shot up my arm and down through my mid-section. I realized I liked touching Dane. I especially liked kissing him. If I wasn’t careful, I might find that I liked having him around so much, I’d want to keep him. That was dangerous territory for me. Lately, relationships meant loss, and honestly, my heart couldn’t take another one.

  As the crowd parted, we came up on a professional card table opened up on the lawn with, literally, three cats and a fourth, diminutive, big-eyed guy sitting in the chairs around it. “Actual cats? I thought when you said we’d talk to some cats, you meant sixties-slang for cool people. I didn’t realize you meant actual cats.”

  “They’re Zelda’s familiars.”

  “Well, well. Isn’t this a nice surprise? Who’s the dollface and is she single?”

  I wasn’t an ultra-feminist, but even I bristled at the largest cat’s question. Dane didn’t seem the least bit fazed though. With a wry smile, he explained, “Fat Bastard, I’d like you to meet Evelina Hale.”

  Another cat, that wasn’t quite
as plump, asked, “Wait! As in, one of the Hale witches?”

  Dane nodded solemnly, and I got the feeling things were about to get even weirder.

  The third cat spoke up and said, “Don’t be ridiculous, Jango. There’re no Hale witches remaining, dumbass. It’s why we’re all preparing for the Halloweeneedtokissourassgoodbye apocalypse coming at the end of October. Didn’t you get my daily e-newsletter?”

  “No! I unsubscribed to that piece of shit a long time ago. Seriously, Boba! Stop filling up my e-mail inbox with your random cray-cray, dude! Between you and the erectile dysfunction advertisements, I’m starting to question what there is to live for anymore.”

  From below the table, a voice carried up to us. “Ain’t no one more idiotic than yous guys. Everyone knows Oriona had a daughter.”

  I glanced at the spot where the cat introduced as Fat Bastard had been sitting just a moment before. I ducked down to look under the table to see what exactly was going on and regretted it immediately. Fat Bastard was still on his chair, legs splayed, with his tongue going to town on his furry balls. My mouth dropped open, and I gagged just a little before he glanced up and caught me watching him.

  “Don’t mind sharin’, dollface.”

  Oh, Goddess! I straightened and bit my lip, trying so hard not to…burst out laughing. This was insanity on a stick, and I was loving it. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely normal. For once, I wasn’t the strangest person in the vicinity.

  Fat Bastard sat back up and addressed the table again, “Boba Fett, Jango Fett, yous two are in the game. Any other takers?”

  All four of the chipmunk Shifters took a seat at the table and waited for their cards. The fourth one was introduced as Chutney. He seemed a little twitchier than the others but chomped on his wad of gum just as loudly as the other three.

  Dane took a step backward. “I think we’ll sit this one out. Need to introduce Evie to Zelda and the others.”

  “Evie? As in Clooney’s Evie?” The one named Boba Fett waited for me to answer his question.

  All I could do was stare for a moment. To me, it felt awkward when worlds collided, and I didn’t know quite what to say. But as Fat Bastard began dealing cards, I knew my opportunity to find out information about Clooney’s whereabouts would be gone as soon as the game began.