Her Secret Life

by Tiffany L. Warren

  “What news?” Onika asked, starting to get annoyed.

  “I’m moving out on Saturday. Charmayne got me into a rent-subsidized apartment, and my ex-boyfriend is finally in prison for trafficking. It’s time for me to leave the nest.”

  Onika wanted to say congratulations, but she couldn’t form the words. Maybe because she didn’t want Ty to leave.

  “I’ve been here way too long,” Ty added when Onika remained silent. “It is time. I’m ready for my own space again.”

  “There are a couple new residents coming next week, too,” Charmayne said. “It’s going to be packed in here.”

  “New residents?” Onika asked.

  “Yes, a mom and her three kids, and a runaway,” Charmayne said. “Back to school time, we usually get at least one family.”

  “It’s been pretty quiet for these three weeks that you’ve been here,” Ty said. “It almost doesn’t feel like a homeless shelter right now.”

  “She came at a good time, and I think that was God-ordained,” Charmayne said. “I don’t think she would’ve stayed if she had to sleep on a cot in the living room.”

  Charmayne was wrong, but Onika didn’t let on that she was. A cot in Safe Harbor’s living room was much better than a corner of the Metro station.

  “You may be rooming with the runaway,” Charmayne said. “But I’m not sure. I have to find out her entire story before I make that happen. You two sure you don’t want to go to church?”

  Ty shook her head, and Onika sat there in silence, trying to figure out an escape strategy. She absolutely couldn’t bring Graham here when it was teeming with homeless people. He was kind and would probably let her down easy, but Onika was sure he’d move on. Without question.

  Charmayne closed their bedroom door, and Onika slumped down into the blankets again. As much as she hated to admit it, she wanted to close her eyes, fall asleep, and wake up back in the town house with Aaron.

  “I think Charmayne purposely makes it uncomfortable to be here. I would’ve moved the last time we were full if I’d had the money together,” Ty said as she walked back over to her bed.

  “What happened the last time you were full?”

  “She had accepted a drug addict who was coming out of rehab. The girl stole from Charmayne and everybody else, then she disappeared.”

  Onika drew in a sharp breath. If Charmayne brought a drug addict in here, she would leave. She’d have to. She’d figure something out, but she wasn’t going to go through life with Judy again.

  “Charmayne is too free with her home. Does she even lock stuff up?” Onika asked, thinking of the damage Judy could do.

  “She didn’t at first. I think she had only been doing this for a few months when I got here. She’d just moved to DC from Cleveland. Then, when all that happened, she got a safe for her important papers. She doesn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable here, though.”

  “I would feel uncomfortable with a drug addict.”

  Ty shrugged. “I’ve seen it all. Actually, I’d rather have a sweet drug addict than a violent person. I mean, they’re really only hurting themselves when they take drugs.”

  Onika held her peace, because if she started talking she wouldn’t be able to hide her own history. But addicts didn’t only hurt themselves. They destroyed their children. In fact, their kids and parents and other family members always got the worst of it, because the addict stayed high all the time and didn’t have to deal with the damage they did.

  “If you’re going to bring Graham here,” Ty said, “it should be this week, before she moves all the people in.”

  “You’re right. Can I spin it? Can I say that I’m helping here with the program?” Onika asked, forming a plan as she spoke.

  “Why even say you’re helping? Why can’t it be your own place? If you have him come when Charmayne is gone, then you could say it’s yours.”

  “When is she gone for more than thirty minutes?”

  “Her Thursday night Bible study. You could cook Graham dinner or something.”

  Onika chuckled, although she did like the idea. “I don’t cook well. I don’t know how to make anything fancy.”

  “We can order food, then. It’ll be fun.”

  “So you’re gonna help me? I thought you’d be packing up and getting ready to leave.”

  Ty waved one hand in front of the closet. “I’ve got about two suitcases worth of stuff to pack. I don’t think it’ll take that long.”

  “Are you going to be able to afford your apartment?” Onika asked.

  Ty nodded. “That job at the restaurant isn’t going to cut it, though. I don’t want to just have barely enough for rent and utilities. I want to live my life, too.”

  “So are you going back to school for something?”

  Ty burst into laughter. “School? For what? Do I look like an accountant or computer professional? I’m going to go back to stripping.”

  Onika gasped. “But . . .”

  “Listen, I’m not going to turn any tricks. I’m just going to strip.”

  “Did you tell Charmayne?”

  Ty shook her head. “Of course not, but Charmayne isn’t always living in the real world. She’s so positive all the time that she doesn’t realize she can’t fix everything. She helped me get on my feet and get out of a bad situation, but at the end of the day, I don’t have that many ways to make money.”

  “But what about when you can’t strip anymore?”

  “You don’t think I’ve thought about my future? I know I only have a few good years left on the pole. If I don’t have any babies I might be able to extend it. That’s why I am going to work hard and bank my money. I think I want to open a beauty bar.”

  “Do you do hair and nails?” Onika asked. “Why not build your brand doing that? Why do you have to go and strip?”

  “Because I need cash. Capital. Do you understand how much money this body makes me on a good night? I have brought home thousands for a few hours of work.”

  “And what do you have to show for it?”

  “Nothing right now, but my mind-set has changed. I don’t care about a thousand-dollar pair of shoes or a handbag anymore. I’m going to save and invest my money. One thing I have learned from Charmayne is that money in the bank and a good credit score are worth more than a few items in the closet. She’s rich—you know that, right?”

  “I thought she was well off, but not necessarily rich.”

  Ty shook her head. “When I was cleaning, I accidentally saw a bank statement. She’s damn near a millionaire.”

  “She doesn’t seem like one.”

  “Exactly. She’s quietly rich. Doesn’t flash at all,” Ty said. “That’s how I want to be. I want to have enough money to do whatever I want.”

  “She’s rich, but she chooses to live here with us. Why doesn’t she just hire someone to run this place?”

  “Girl, I don’t know. I think she actually loves this. She loves helping us wretched souls. I’ve heard her say it’s her ministry and God called her to this.”

  Onika shook her head. “Most of the people I know who say God calls them to something are crazy. I am glad she thinks that, though. If she didn’t, I don’t know where I’d be.”

  “Exactly. When my ex was on trial, my attorney referred me here. I was so glad to have somewhere safe.”

  “If it wasn’t for that homeless woman at the Metro station, I don’t know how I would’ve found out about Charmayne.”

  “The homeless woman who gave you the flyer.”

  Onika laughed. “You both keep making fun of me about that lady. I tell you she walked straight up to me and gave me a flyer for Safe Harbor.”

  “I know. I saw the flyer you showed to Charmayne. It’s just that she doesn’t really advertise. Maybe there’s an underground homeless community that knows all about Charmayne.”

  “That must be it. Some of them stick together like a family. They share things. Like safe places to sleep, and where to get personal items.”
/>   “You were homeless, what, all of two days, and you found this out?”

  “Well, I was in a hotel first. I heard rumblings of it there. But I don’t want to think about that. One of those homeless people at that hotel probably stole my suitcase. I’m still mad about that.”

  “Why? It’s only stuff. And I bet it was one of the hotel employees who stole it.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “You know what’s funny about you?” Ty asked.

  Onika lifted her eyebrows. “Nothing is funny about me.”

  “Whatever. You don’t think you’re one of us. It’s like in your mind you’re on vacation to a homeless shelter. Like this is some kind of social experiment for you. You going out on dates with a guy acting like the socialite you used to be before you wound up just like me. You’re homeless, Nikki. Stop saying, ‘those homeless people,’ like they’re someone different than you are.”

  Onika couldn’t reply. Ty’s words were on point. Onika didn’t feel a part of this community of struggling men and women. This felt like an inconvenient detour, but not her actual life. But it was her life. The only home she had was in Goldsboro, North Carolina, and since she wasn’t going back there, Ty was right. She was one of them.

  “You’re not homeless anymore,” Onika said. “You have an apartment.”

  “And I don’t plan on getting evicted from it, so don’t worry about how I make my money. By the time you figure it all out, I’ll probably be buying my own town house.”

  “You’re going to make it rain on the real estate market.”

  “Yes ma’am. Think I won’t?”

  Onika laughed, but avoided her feelings about the truth Ty had just dropped in her lap. She’d deal with that later. She couldn’t think about it now.

  “So do you want my help with this date or not?” Ty asked. “We can really hook it up for Mr. Graham, with his fine self. He looks way better than his homeboy.”

  Onika laughed. “I don’t even think I really paid attention to what his friend looked like.”

  “You didn’t. ’Cause you were mesmerized by that chocolate-covered Graham cracker.”

  Onika fell back on the bed and had a belly laugh. Graham was definitely fine, and sweet.

  “I wouldn’t say that I was mesmerized then, but I’m getting there. He’s a really special guy.”

  “So let’s hook it up for him. You can deal with your lying spirit later.”

  “My lying spirit?”

  “Yes, chile. You can’t even tell anybody your real name. No one has Nikki on their birth certificate.”

  “It’s Onika.”

  “Look at God!” Ty said, imitating Charmayne’s “Praise the Lord!” voice.

  Onika grinned, but then realized that what Ty just said wasn’t all that funny. Graham was a great guy. Someone she could see having a relationship with. But she couldn’t tell him the truth about her situation. What good was falling for someone who might abandon and hurt her again like Aaron had done?

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  It was a typical Monday morning at work for Graham, except that he was in an extremely good mood after spending Friday and Saturday with Onika. On Sunday, he went to church and praised God for answering his prayers and sending Onika back across his path. And this morning, he’d gotten a text from her, an invitation to dinner on Thursday—at her house. He was in there, and he was glad about it.

  “Hello, Graham.”

  Graham looked up from his computer, and Leslie was standing in front of his desk with both hands on her hips. He’d known this was coming, although he hadn’t decided how to handle her.

  “Leslie . . .”

  “You played the hell out of me, Graham. I thought we were better than that.”

  “Let me ask you a question.”

  “What?” Her voice was harsh, but Graham refused to escalate with her.

  “When you saw me on Saturday afternoon, did you think I was on a date?”

  Her face softened a touch. Not much, but enough that Graham thought he might be able to get through to her.

  “I thought that maybe you were on a date. Yes, I thought so.”

  “So why would you do what you did? Screaming my name like that, sounding all crazy.”

  Her lip trembled. “I sounded crazy?”

  “I mean . . . you did. You and I . . . we’re not dating, so that wasn’t cool, honestly. If you want us to be friends, you can’t do stuff like that.”

  “It feels like you’re scolding me.”

  “Not at all. I just want us to be cool, you know? I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, but we can still have a good work relationship. I can still see you out in public and be okay.”

  Leslie sucked her teeth long and hard. “So you laying down the law, huh, Graham? You can’t tell me how to act or what to say. I should’ve told your new girlfriend how you’ll flip the script in a heartbeat. How you’ll take a girl out on a date and pretend to like her and then all of a sudden want to be just friends. I’m so sick of men like you. Don’t want to be Godly at all and find a wife. Just want to go from chick to chick, always looking for an upgrade.”

  There was such contempt in Leslie’s tone that Graham wasn’t sure if he should continue the conversation or just chalk it up to a bad experience.

  “Leslie, I’m not that guy you just described. To be honest, I just am not attracted to you. I shouldn’t have gone out with you that one time. I knew I wasn’t interested in anything long-term, and unfortunately, you got the wrong idea.”

  “You’re not interested in me because I’m a real black woman. Because I’m dark and my hair doesn’t blow in the wind.”

  “I love your hair, Leslie. That has nothing to do with it.”

  “Yes, it does. You are like every other brother out here. Y’all want us to stand up for you, be down for you and have your back, and then when we need you, you’re running after the first biracial, light bright chick you see. What is your little friend? She’s Latina, isn’t she? Anything but black.”

  Suddenly, the anger that probably had helped Leslie hold her composure changed to grief. She burst into tears and made loud sobbing noises. Graham handed her tissues from the box on his desk, but he didn’t move otherwise. What was he supposed to do? Hug her? That would probably make things worse.

  Finally, one of Leslie’s coworkers ran up to Graham’s desk. The girl, Helena, rolled her eyes at Graham.

  “What did you do to her?” Helena asked.

  “I didn’t do anything to her. But y’all should get her together away from my desk, because she’s drawing attention over here.”

  “You’re so insensitive, Graham!” Helena fussed. “Don’t you see she’s heartbroken here?”

  “Heartbroken? What? No, she’s not. She’s tripping.”

  “It’s okay, Helena,” Leslie wailed. “I’m okay. Just come to the break room with me, so I can get myself together.”

  Graham sent Lorne and Craig an instant message and told them to meet him downstairs. As ignorant as his friends were, he needed their help strategizing on this. Leslie was going overboard with her reaction to their non-relationship.

  “What’s the deal?” Lorne asked once they were out in their courtyard meeting spot. “Did that girl steal your identity?”

  “What? No! That part is great. Onika is awesome. We went out again on Saturday. She’s fantastic.”

  “Wait, what have I missed? When did you go on a date? Is Onika Metro girl?” Craig asked.

  Graham took a moment to get Craig caught up. Told him about the bar on U Street and how he’d left with Onika right then and there and had their first date.

  “You went out with her again on Saturday. Did you hit?”

  Graham sighed. “If I did, we wouldn’t be having a conversation about it right now.”

  “He hit,” Lorne said as he gave Craig a high five. “This chick was extremely smashable.”

  “Don’t be disrespectful,” Graham said.
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br />   “Listen to him,” Lorne said with a laugh. “Don’t be disrespectful. He smashed, and it changed his life.”

  Graham puffed his cheeks up with air and exhaled loudly. “This is not about Onika. This is about Leslie.”

  “You smashed her, too?” Lorne asked. “Man, the student has finally graduated.”

  Craig said, “I think he’s trying to tell us something else, Lorne.”

  “Thanks, Craig. I ran into Leslie when I was out with Onika, and she acted crazy. Chased us down the street screaming my name. When I saw her this morning, she started crying at my desk. Helena came up acting like I had broken up with her or something.”

  “I told you Leslie was a damn lunatic,” Lorne said. “She’s going to go to y’all supervisor next.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to avoid.”

  “Unavoidable, because now she’s mad. She put herself out there, and let you know how she felt, and you rejected her. She is going to make a thing out of this,” Lorne said.

  “Maybe she won’t,” Craig countered. “She might not want to embarrass herself. Maybe she’ll just want it to go away.”

  Graham wasn’t sure which one of them was right. He was worried that it was Lorne, though.

  “Have you sent her any questionable e-mails on the work e-mail?” Lorne asked. “We have to do some damage control.”

  “I’ve never sent her anything questionable.”

  “No texts? No pictures of your junk?”

  Craig gave himself a face palm, while Graham wanted to choke out his friend.

  “No, I haven’t sent her any inappropriate pictures. Let’s think of this situation as something I am going through, not you. We are wasting time talking about stuff I don’t do.”

  “So I think you should give your boss a heads-up. He’s old school, and he probably thinks Leslie is a little thrown off. You need him to have your back when she goes to his office snitching on you,” Craig said.

  “Or he could break her off, and then she would be happy,” Lorne said. “That’s all she wants. She needs some vitamin D.”

  “How about I hook you up with her. You can break her off,” Graham said. “I’m not sleeping with her.”

  “I see that as a win-win situation,” Lorne said. “If you do what you’re supposed to do, everything will be good. Then if things don’t work out with your fairy-tale chick, you’ve got some real convenient office booty sitting right across the room.”