We don't call him Bright Moon in his presence, of course.
''I'm not. Some of my friends are, and they dragged me along.''
Undoubtedly, they cashed out for your ticket, haven't they, jam master J?
''What about you two?''
''We come, every year, just to snoop around.''
''So, is there any promotion, degustation stands, free beer and snacks?''
''I haven't ever noticed any.''
''Neither did I.''
''Sucks. Is there anything interesting going on here?''
''Um… Stephen King's going to be here tonight. He'll be signing his new book.''
''Oh, really?! Stephen King, the writer?''
''The one.''
''I don't like his books. They're so long and boring. If I was his editor, I would cut them down to hundred pages of actual action.''
Hubert started laughing.
''He he, says the guy that reads Stephanie Meyer.''
''Ha ha, very funny. Just so you know, I read Samantha Schuster's books, not Stephanie Meyer's, and she writes self improvement books. I've learned from them how to build bird houses, among other stuff.''
Hubert cracked one, it's my turn.
''And smoke ornamental plants.''
Hubert and myself are cracking up.
''Laugh all you want. You can learn alot from her books.''
Oops, we annoyed Bright Moon.
''It's impossible to have a normal conversation with you two, Laurel and Hardy.''
''We resemble, don't we? It's the eyebrow thing.''
I do Stan Laurel face, when he lifts his eyebrows. Bright Moon smiles.
''You wanna go get coffee and pie somewhere, I really don't have what to do until my friends finish their stupid sword making class.''
We both just stared confused at him.
''Relax, I'm payin'.''
Salvia messed up his brains.
Hubert went: ''Awww, although we're both most intrigued by that coffee offer, we're actually waiting for something. Someone. At eleven.''
''Waiting for who?''
''Author of some underground comic. We don't know who he is. He just signs as Abraxas. He's meeting his fans at eleven.''
''Underground comic? How can a comic be underground?''
''Well, it just appears sometimes without any particular time span in certain stores, in small print numbers, and disappears the same day. Edwin and I mostly obtain it from e-bay.''
''Why do you care about that comic so much? What's so special about it?''
''Story's in the form of an illustrated diary of some druid that, while in exile, finds himself on some other level of reality. Romans want to capture him and trial him, so they follow him, and he keeps running away, always on some higher level, or 'heaven' as it is called in the comic. '365 heavens' is the name of the story.''
I had to cut in: ''Story's not that important. What caught our attention is the mytho-religious imagery inside the comic. Whoever created it knows alot about old Gnosticism.''
Hubert continued: ''And we want to know who that person is. We even think it's someone from our college. Some profesor, maybe.''
Seemed like Bright Moon got interested for a second.
''Come with us and find out.''
''Nah. I'll pass. I came to relax, not to be on college away from college. See you guys.''
He left.
''Why did you invite him? He would of talk us to death.''
''I don't know. It seemed like a right thing to do. Maybe we should of gone on that coffee with him, Abraxas is probably no one interesting.''
''Yeah, probably. Unless if he is actually Bright Moon himself.''
We laughed to that.
Chapter five
Ugliness
Man. I saw vampires. And werewolves. And goblins. Jedis with lightsabers. Big little wizards. They passed right by me. I'm not in some other dimension. I'm at Convention-con.
Bunch of freaks. Flaunting their ugliness. The first time old jeans and a pair of all-stars made me stand out.
I a saw a couple of elves. I could have sworn that they're not human. Their ears are big and pointed. Their eyes are of some unnatural variant of blue. Their hair is long and black. Their outfit is something futuristic, leather, iron, and zippers. Only thing that gave them away, gave away their thisworldliness, is their archery equipment, their bows and arrows are professional sport stuff. Carbon made. They did everything they could to turn themselves into a pair of action figures.
They seem to detest their humanity. They want to be something else. But, they don't have a choice.
Or, is it mimicry? Like in nature, are they imitating what they desire to be?
Or totemism? Do they believe that the spirit of their God will descend upon them, if they make of themselves his totem?
I sometimes wonder how would an ancient Greek react in certain situations in this modern world, and what would he think. Would he see demons everywhere? There's a reason why I picked an ancient Greek. Because of an ancient Greek word that is used all around the globe, with the same meaning. Demon.
What would an ancient Greek think if he would find himself at this Convention-Con? I think that he would believe that he's in Tartarus, surrounded by dead souls and demons.
The trials of Saint Anthony.
What would he think of me? Would he see a friend, or one of 'them'? Judging by my current appearance, not the first thing. There are scratch marks on my neck. My T-shirt is stained with blood.
Sometimes, when I'm pissed, I start fights. And I felt pretty uncomfortable here. I looked for a grotesquerie of my own size, to pick a fight with. I was looking for that elf. And then I saw it.
A cat woman. On high heels. No tits. A tranny. I crossed his path, tripped him down, and then I lashed out at him, as if it was his fault. I allowed him to throw the first hit. I always allow the first hit. I wear my bruises proudly. But, bitch scratched me. I broke his nose in return.
They had to take him to a hospital, and I got lost. I washed the blood of my neck in the toilet. I sat down on the bench next to some kid. He had box full of comics in front of him. I asked him did he buy all of them. He said his dad bought them for him. He brought them from his home, for the author to sign them. I asked him what's the comic about. About Romans, Celts, and dinosaurs, kid said. I said that sounds interesting.
Kid said his name is Lee. I told him my name. I'm Maynard. I asked the kid why is he sad. He said how his dad had to leave him here, and left for work, and that he'll come pick him up when he's finished. His dad told him that he's adult enough to find his way around. Kid couldn't find the hall where the author of the comic is suppose to be signing.
I took his box of comics from the floor, and asked him what's the number of the hall. Nineteen, said the kid.
Chapter six
W = R
Oh, boy. I can't believe I'm going to meet Mistew Abwaxas. I came all the way fwom Boston to meet him. I took me two days to get hewe by bus. I'm so tiwed. But it's gonna be so wowth it. I'm sitting hewe at hall nineteen, all alone, no one appeawed yet. I bet they gonna be swawming anytime soon. Oh, boy, I can't wait.
Mistew Abwaxas did this awesome comic book called '365 heavens'. My favowite pawt is when the head chawactew, Uawwaig, the dwuid, gets to the thiwd heaven and discovews dinosauws. But, he doesn't know what dinosauws awe. He calls them 'aewouants'. 'Aewouant' is Celtic word for dragon. And Uawwaig finds one injuwed twicewatops, and helps him, and tames him, and twicewatops becomes his howse, and Uawwaig wides him to escape fwom the Womans. Awesome, isn't it?
I even wwote and dwew my own spin-off comic to '365 heavens'. It's about a twuck dwiwew named Jewwy, who dwiwes a giant monstew twuck, and passes with his twuck on the next heaven. I can't wait to show it to Mistew Abwaxas. Maybe Mistew Abwaxas will accept it as canon, and maybe Jewwy will got to appeaw in '365 heavens'. That would be awesome.
I always wanted to be a twuck dwiwew. But, I'm afwaid that's not gonna happen. They
took my dwiwing licence last yeaw. I wan ovew somebody's dog. And almost the pewson that was walking the dog. Oh, well.
What's that? Somebody's coming in. A blonde giwl. She went to the stands high behind me and sat down.
''Hey, how you doin'?''
She smiled. ''I'm okay.''
''You hewe to meet Mistew Abwaxas?''
She just smiled.
''Yeah, his comic is weally somethin', huh?''
I went up the staiws and sat next to hew. ''I did my own spin-off to his comic, you wanna see it?''
I showed hew the fwont page. ''It's a twuck wunning over a dinosauw. I dwew it myself. Nice, ha?''
''It's nice. It looks really nice.''
''I'm Mawky.''
She said somethin', but I didn't heaw hew, she speaks weally quietly.
''What's that? I didn't heaw you.''
She said: ''My name is Emily.''
''Dinosauws awe my favowite pawt of the comic. What's youw favowite pawt?''
''Um… I… I don't know.''
''How don't you know? You wead the comic, wight? That's why you'we hewe, wight? What's youw favowite pawt?!''
''I…'', hew lip stawted shaking, and she buwsted into teaws. She wan out cwying.
''What's wwong?!''
Weiwd. Stwange giwl.
Just as she wan out, a paiw came in. They sat down in the fwont row, whewe I sat, befowe I went up. A stwange couple. Theiw eaws awe pointed. I went down.
''Hey guys. You hewe to meet Mistew Abwaxas?''
''Yeah, that's why we're here. We enjoy his comic very much.''
''Some outfits you have. Awe you suppose to be some faiwies?''
I said somethin' wwong. They got insulted.
''We're not fairies, we're elves.''
''Ain't that the same thing?''
''No! Fairies and elves got nothing to do with each other! Fairies are those little things with wings that are flying around, elves are enlightened beings…''
''Elves help Santa!''
Elf guy got up, but elf giwl stopped him fwom getting me.
''Are you trying to provoke me, or are you just fuckin' retarded!?''
I took my comic and went to sit in behind.
''Mumbling freak.''
Jeez. Some people.
Chapter seven
Not today, Fred
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. There's nothing particularly ugly about me. I'm just another average guy. Average guys get laid. And not only average guys. Practically, everyone gets laid. What's wrong with me then?
I have so much difficulty in finding a sex partner. In high school, I tried around a bunch of girls, with no real effect. I still try, and still no effect. My friends tell me I try to hard. They tried much less than me, and they all have girlfriends now. It's just my luck.
Despite everything I told you, I am in a relationship. Short of. I never had sex with her. There's nothing physically wrong with her. Thing is… She's from Kansas. She's a member of Baptist Church of Westboro. Yeah, I know. Alice is the only one that didn't told me in the end how we're not right for each other, or 'it's not you, it's me', or some shit like that.
Alice simply told me that I'm going to burn in hell for my transgressions from the path of the Lord. She also told me that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, but that I can hang around her if I want, because to sent me away wouldn't be Christian. Good enough.
So, I hung around her alot. I hung around her in front of her parents. If Alice didn't saw me as a boyfriend, than at least her parents did. They told me that Alice and I can't have sex before marriage. And that if we want to get married, first we have to get engaged. But, for us to get engaged, I would have to be accepted as a member of their Church. Then, I would have to be baptized. Their community had to accept me also.
Her parents probably realized that chances for their daughter to find a husband inside their community are practically non-existent. They are all relatives there. They didn't have a clue that I was seeing Alice only as a stepping stone towards something better.
Thanks to her, in the eyes of my friends and others, I had a girlfriend. But, as soon as I would get some other girl interested in me, I would bail out on Alice.
I tried once kissing Alice. She flipped. I never laid my hand on her after that. I think that she despises me, and all men in general. She might be a lesbian coming to terms with her sexuality.
Her parents once took me to Kansas with them so I would meet their family. I spent a week with the Baptist Church of Westboro. It wasn't so bad. Alice's cousins are okay. They just really don't like fags. If I understood her parents properly, Alice is the grand niece of Fred Phelps.
Yes, I picketed with them. I told them that I don't have anything against homosexuals, but then, one of Alice's cousins said to me something I remember very well. Something that made sense. He said that this country is out of every control, and everyone can do whatever they want, if it gains following. And if they pay taxes. Nothing is off the limits anymore. He said that's exactly what their Church is doing. They're crossing the line. They're crossing the line in order to show that homosexuals, the military, entertainment, Westboro Baptist Church, or anyone else, simply cannot do whatever they want. There has to be some limit of control.
During that week I spent there I even managed to get drunk on cider, and I tried to make pass at one of Alice's cousins, to the disgust of their community. Despite that, I think all passed pretty well.
Since everyone except Alice considered me Alice's boyfriend, I tried to act that way, take her out, and stuff. But with Alice, that wasn't so easy. She never wanted to eat at restaurants, diners, anyplace, except her home, and only food that her parents made. I took her to movies couple of times, but she deemed movies work of Satan, that tap into peoples secret desires, and lead their souls astray. Okay. So, my options are limited.
I took her to Convention-con. I thought it will be fun. Costumes, masks, famous actors and actresses. But, no.
''Why did you bring me here? This is lair of sin. This is Sodom.''
I couldn't listen to her anymore.
''Well, this ain't Kansas, Dorothy!''
I left her in the crowd and went away. I didn't look back for her. I passed next to some three wackos that were laughing maniacally to something one of them had on his phone. I went through the doors of the hall, to sit inside and rest from walking, and from her. There were some people inside. One blond girl was sitting alone. I sat next to her.
''Hello.''
Chapter eight
Alice in Sodom and Gomorrah
He just went away. Went away and left me with these people. These… Hedonists. These idolaters. They don't look like they're seduced by Satan. They look like they're happy to bid his will.
Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension Page 2