Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension

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by YT Whitemansson


  They are all hedonists. Pleasure is the only postulate of their lives. If it feels good, just do it. They don't think that it will all have consequences. Every sin, every indulgence, has its own consequence. A punishment. Gluttony has obesity.

  All sins have their various punishments. They taught me that Lord punishes people, and brings temptations in their lives, for them to change their sinful ways. But, I don't know anymore. It's hard for me to believe that.

  I read in the Bible about horrible illnesses that are to befall sinners. I read one part that says that flash and skin will be rotting on living people. That part used to chill my blood. And then I remembered Michael Jackson. Didn't he pay millions to ruin his body with such a disease? Don't people do all sort of horrible things to themselves, for fad's sake?

  I don't think that there can exist any kind of punishment that these people wouldn't eventually come to enjoy.

  What do I do now? I don't want to be here. Should I leave this place, or go look for Alden? Alden hates me. I know that he would leave me this instant moment, if he would find another girl. He doesn't understand why he has so little success with girls. His friends don't want to tell him. They probably find it uncomfortable to do so.

  Alden's breath is awful. Every time when he opens his mouth, it's like he opened a dumpster. God, I can't even look at him when he talks, I have to turn my head the other way.

  I don't want to be alone. I better go look for him.

  There's so much people, I will never find him.

  I peeked inside one hall, that had the doors opened. There he is. He's talking to some girl. She got up, and left. His breath chased her away.

  I better go apologize.

  Chapter nine

  S(pr)ay cheese, motherfucker!

  ''Here he comes'', his face is red, he's going through great effort to abstain himself from bursting into laughter.

  ''He'll piss his pants.''

  ''Where's Isaac?'', said Lempo.

  And Jove bursted into laughter.

  ''What? What's so funny? Did he fall in the toilet bowl or some shit like that?'', said Lempo.

  ''Oh, god… He… Bwahahahaha…''

  Three minutes later.

  ''Breathe, breathe you nutcase'', said Lempo.

  ''Where's Isaac?''

  ''Oh, god… He left. You won't believe who we ran into.''

  ''Come on, tell us.''

  ''So, we're looking for the toilet, Isaac and I, and right in front of us I see Maya. Isaac's Maya.''

  ''Shit, seriously?!'', said Lempo.

  ''Yeah, listen. And she's with a guy. A huge guy. A mountain of tattooed muscles. Bearded. A biker. And, Maya, you was right, she's not a redhead anymore, she's all in tone with her new guy. She's got tattoos on her neck, she's wearin' a biker jacket, and she shaved one side of her head, you know, that part above ear. How do they call that hairstyle? Amazon?''

  ''I don't know how do they call it, just, continue.''

  ''And she's staring at me, and I at her, and I turn to Isaac, and…''

  He started laughin' again.

  ''Yes?!''

  ''…and Isaac is standing ten feet behind me, buried in the spot, his feet got cemented when he saw her. And he's staring at her like an ape, his mouth open, in his plaid three-quarter pants and sandals!''

  This got Lempo and me laughing, too. What a clown. Isaac's antics are priceless.

  ''Listen, listen. And I can see on Maya's face that she's uncomfortable. But, the guy, goes to Isaac and shakes hands with him. He goes: 'Hey, you must be Isaac, Maya's ex. Maya told me a lot about you. What's up dude?' Isaac's just standin' there, he can't speak. Maya goes to him, and touches his shoulder, 'How you've been, Isaac?' I can only imagine how his dick reacted when she touched his shoulder.''

  ''What did he say? What did he say?'', says Lempo.

  ''He didn't say nothing. He tried to mumble something, but then the guy said, listen what he said, you won't believe this.''

  ''Yes?!''

  ''He says to Isaac: 'Would you like to have threesome with Maya and me, that would be so cool, I would really like that'.''

  ''Shit, seriously?!''

  ''And Maya goes: 'Stop it, Isaac's not into stuff like that', and Isaac says: 'Shut your mouth, I am, I want to do it. When?' Guy says: 'Why not right know?', and Isaac's like: 'Yeah, why not'.''

  ''What a character, I don't believe this!'', says Lempo.

  ''And they go outside and pack on his bike. I took a photo, look.''

  On the guy's bike, Maya is pressed between the guy, and Isaac. Isaac is wearin' her helmet. You should've seen his face. Priceless. Isaac, in his pants and sandals, going to a threesome with bikers. Lempo and I laughed just as maniacally as Jove did when he appeared.

  ''Oh, Lord! This is the happiest day of my life!''

  Lempo said: ''I gotta have that picture on my wall! I want to look at it for the rest of my life!''

  ''Wait, I took another one before they left. I yelled to him: 'Spray cheese, motherfucker!' ''

  On that one, their backs are turned to us, they're driving away, and Isaac is giving a finger to us.

  ''Bwahahahaha…''

  ''Bwahahahahaha…''

  ''Aaaaaarhghahahaha…''

  Priceless.

  Chapter ten

  Lemonade

  I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm going to tell her, as soon as she appears. Melvin says that she's having me on a leash, like a little dog. Well, not anymore. I'll tell her. If she goes through that door, she's breaking up with me. I don't care about any Abracadabras, and stupid comics. We should be on the beach right now, surfin' and divin', doin' the fun stuff. Not waistin' my time in the stupid fantasy world. I don't understand why everyone loves fantasy books so much. They're sooooo phony. I mean, come on people, you're living in the west coast of United States! Hellooooooo! You have everything here. Easy life. Are you aware that California is the fantasy world for the bigger part of the rest of the globe! Many people dream of living here, but they are of no such luck. They have to live in slums, or work for peanuts, or join jihad. But you, you're fantasizin' about dragons and warlocks!!

  Huh! Breathe out. Hooooooooooooooo. Breathe in.

  I'm sorry. I got carried away in my malcontent. I will tell you about Kristen. How I met her. You know how in every high school you have those kids that dress in black and use black makeup, and then you have kids that like metal music and wear shirts of bands they like, and then you have emo kids. Well, in my school, all such kids hold together, they have one group. They are the cool kids in my school. Always preoccupied with themselves and their group, they never showed much interest in us, the regular kids. They sure made it look aristocratic, to be one of them. Kristen is a part of that group. I don't know in which tribe she precisely belongs, she wears T-shirts of bands I never heard for, plaid men shirts, doesn't dye hair, and likes black eyeliner. Grunge, maybe.

  Anyway, one day, I just couldn't look at her anymore, how beautiful she is when she's having fun with her friends, and I went straight to her, and asked her out on a date. I thought they will all laugh at me. But, they didn't. She said 'Okay'.

  Now, I need to tell you that there was only one nexus between me and her. I also sport plaid men shirts. I am a black kid that wears his shirt in his pants. At least, I used to. When we started dating, she had me stop doing that. Now, I wear my shirt over my pants. Anyway, for some reason she liked me, and we spent so much time together, and she wore my shirts, and I was so happy. And then, my friends told me that I am her puppy.

  I told them to fuck off, I thought that them are just jealous. But then I thought about what they said, and realized that them are right. Everything Kristen and I do, we do what she wants. We spend time with her friends, not mine. We listen to her music. We watch the movies she chooses. We go to paintball, I hate paintball, they always shoot me in the head.

  We wear our shirts over our pants.

  We are at the Convention-con just because she wanted us to go. I
told her on the phone that there is something we must talk about, and that I'm waiting for her in front of the hall nineteen. I will not back off, if she goes inside, she's breakin' up with me.

  She's going to be late, there are already bunch of people inside.

  There she is. She kissed me, grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the hall.

  ''We have to go, he'll be here any minute, we're gonna be late.''

  I didn't move.

  ''No. Kristen. Listen. I don't want to go inside, I don't care about any of these things. You and I never went to the beach. Let's go to the beach now.''

  ''What?! No, we'll go to the beach later. We agreed that we will do this, remember?''

  ''No, Kristen. You wanted to do this, and that's why I'm here. Because of you. You didn't even ask me, remember?''

  ''Yeah, well, it's because you always agree. I thought you agree on this one too.''

  ''I wanted to take you to the beach hundred of times, Kristen, and I never did, do you know why? Because you were never interested to go, it was always 'some other time'. Because we do only the stuff that you want to.''

  ''I don't like to fry in the sun, sorry. If you really want to go, we'll go, but not now, I really want to meet this guy.''

  ''No.''

  ''What is this really about? Your friends had a word with you, haven't they?''

  She can see right through me. Smart girl.

  ''Yes.''

  ''I figured so.''

  ''But, they had a point. We always do only the things that you want to, it's plain to see.''

  ''But, we're havin' good time, don't we?!''

  ''No! I hate paintball! And, I don't like your music. Listen, Kristen, if you go through those doors, it means that you want to continue just the way it was, and that you're breaking up with me.''

  ''No, no, no, you're not going to blame this on me. If you want to break up with me just say it.''

  ''No, I don't want to break up with you, but if you go through those doors you are breaking up with me.''

  ''You can't just post an ultimatum like that, things don't work that way! I will go through these doors, and I will meet this guy, and we'll sort things out afterwards. On the beach if you want!''

  ''If you go in, you're breakin' up with me.''

  ''Boy, you really want to end this now, but you don't have the guts. What is it, you don't like me anymore?''

  ''Like you?! I love everything about you, girl. Even the saliva threads that stretch in your mouth, when you chew gum with your mouth open, look beautiful, just because they're yours.''

  She said nothing to that.

  ''But, it's obvious that you'll go through those doors. You care more about that comic than you care about me. Why did you accept me in the first place? Why me, why not some of your friends?''

  ''Oh, god, do we have to go through all this now?''

  Some old man went inside the hall, and closed the door.

  ''I have to go, we'll settle this later, I love you, I'm not breaking up with you!''

  She went in and closed the doors. With my shirt on her!

  Such nerve. That's it. I'm putting my shirt back in my pants.

  Chapter eleven

  Ten, eleven, twelve

  Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. Or, sixteen plus Mr. Holodnik to be more precise. I am sorry to be doing this to you Mr. Holodnik but although I am grateful for those three hundred dollars, I need all the manpower I can get.

  They will have to do. There is no more time to waste. There are four girls, and even one child. What use do I have from you, kid?

  I think that one chap fell asleep. His head is on his chest, he is not moving.

  ''I welcome you all, and I thank you all for showing up. I am Saklas Usmanov, the person behind the moniker Abraxas, the mouth that spoke the story of '365 heavens'. I know that some of you want your comics signed, and someone maybe, wants a photo with Abraxas, but I'm afraid, I didn't summon you all here to socialize with you. I summoned you here for matters of greater urgency.''

  I got them puzzled.

  ''Relax, I'm not going to try to hustle money out of your pockets, that is not what this is about.''

  I made a pause, this is the most important part.

  ''What if I would tell you that you are all chosen? Chosen for things titanic. And that you all chose yourselves that moment when you took interest in my narrative, and decided to meet me. What if I would tell you that the story of 365 heavens is true?''

  They scoffed, they laughed, expected.

  I went to the girl sitting in the first row, girl in the plaid shirt. I gave her my hand. She looked at it and then reached, for handshake. But, as soon as she touched my hand, she pulled her back, gasped and looked at me with frightened eyes. My hand burned her.

  ''Careful.''

  I went to each of them and allowed them to touch my hand. I went to everyone except Mr. Holodnik, I did not want to upset him any further. They all got burned.

  ''How is this possible?''

  ''It's a trick.''

  ''It's no trick. What if I would tell you that the world you know, the world you live in, is only the lowest of realities in the universe? That other realities, dimensions, are overlaping ours? 365 'ogdoad'. What if I would tell you, that I move at will through other realities, and that you can do it too? I don't expect you to simply believe the words of a man you just met. Empiricism is what I will give you, and you will bring your own conclusions.''

  I opened the doors of the hall.

  ''Demonstration, if you please.''

  First hesitating, they all got up, and left the hall. Only Holodnik stayed inside, sitting high in the stands.

  Chapter twelve

  ''Fool''

  ''Did you feel the guy's hand, man!?''

  ''It's a trick.''

  '' '365 ogdoad'? ''

  ''He's making that shit up. He took the term from… Basilides, maybe. Next, he'll start talking about 'Archons'.''

  '' 'Saklas' ? ''

  ''Not his real name. It's Aramaic for 'Fool'. ''

  ''That guy is definitely not from our college.''

  ''Most definitely not, Edwin.''

  We stayed behind while talking.

  ''What do we do now, Hubert? Do we stick around to see what is he up to?''

  ''He is up to fucking us over somehow. Guy reeks of trouble.''

  Shouts of amazement and disbelief reached us from the hallway. Whatever Saklas showed to his posse, it worked.

  ''Lets go see his demonstration.''

  They were all squeezed next to each other, like in a can of sardines, in front of an opened window. They were looking at something. We approached, and then, over their heads, I saw what they were all looking at. Something that should't be there.

 

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