by KE Payne
“You do anything?” Robyn narrowed her bloodshot eyes. “You didn’t reply to my texts, so that either means you were ignoring me or you were having too good a time to bother replying.”
I laughed, and had Robyn been a hundred per cent on it, she would have picked up that my laugh was covering my reluctance to elaborate any further. Thank goodness for hangovers.
“There was this band on Saturday night, right?” Robyn said. “Big in the early eighties or something…”
Her voice dissolved around me as my mind wandered back to Alex. How easily she slipped into my thoughts. How happily she sat inside my head.
“You listening to me?”
“What?”
“I was telling you about this band that went on and on,” Robyn said.
“Right.”
“You didn’t tell me how your weekend panned out,” she said, and I knew if I lied about spending the weekend with Alex she’d eventually find out, then she’d want to know why I hadn’t told her, and then I’d get a whole load of questions that I knew I couldn’t handle right now.
“I went to Suffolk,” I said, nodding.
“Where the fuck’s that?”
“East coast.”
“Not London, then.”
I laughed. “No, Robyn. Not London.”
“So what is there in Suffolk that would keep you there all weekend?” Robyn’s words got lost in a loud yawn.
Alex was there.
“Sea, mostly.” I paused. “I went with Alex to her parents’ house.”
“Wicked.” Robyn yawned again and I wondered if I was keeping her up. “Her parents nice?”
That was it. No questioning. No surprise from her that I’d spent the weekend with Alex. I felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment, but I wasn’t quite sure why I’d be disappointed. Maybe I wanted to tell Robyn more of what I’d done there. Maybe I wanted to tell her how much I’d loved being with Alex, about how I’d wished the weekend could have gone on even longer than it had.
“I’ve never been to Suffolk.” Robyn sounded disappointed, like it was Suffolk’s fault for never inviting her there.
“Well, considering you don’t know where it is, that’s no surprise.”
Didn’t Robyn want to know more? Didn’t she want to know why Alex had invited me over? Joshua’s words to me on the beach returned; he’d said I must be someone special for Alex to take me home. He’d seemed to think it was weird Alex inviting me over, but to Robyn it was nothing. Perhaps I was glad of that; perhaps it really had been nothing to Alex, and I was reading way too much into all the shared looks and hand-holding that had gone on between us.
I glanced down to Robyn, her eyes closed again, and gave an inward laugh. Maybe I’d been thinking too much about Nicole again, and how things had progressed between us from companionship to hand-holding and knowing looks.
“Hey, did I tell you?” Robyn opened one eye and peered at me.
Shared looks didn’t have to mean something with everyone I met, did it? Wasn’t I looking at Robyn right now? I was being an idiot. As always.
“Oi, cloth ears.” Robyn sat up straighter. “Did you hear me?”
“Did you say something?”
“I said, did I tell you?”
“Did you tell me what?” I asked. I folded my arms and, unthinking, glanced over towards the door, wondering when Alex might arrive.
“I knew you weren’t listening.”
“So tell me now.” I sighed. I didn’t mean to, but it just came out.
“So you don’t want to know about the pool party tomorrow?” Robyn asked.
“What pool party?”
“That got you hearing me, didn’t it?” Robyn grinned up at me.
“Just”—I rolled a hand—“talk rather than messing about, can’t you?” I was tired. And where was Alex? The last thing she’d said to me when we’d parted at the Tube was that she’d see me again at one. I pulled my phone out from my jeans pocket and looked at the time. Twelve forty-five. How could it still only be twelve forty-five?
“Trio Records,” Robyn said, kicking her legs out in front of her, “are very pleased with us.”
“Because we’re probably going to get them their first number one soon?” I offered.
“Because we…yeah, yeah,” Robyn said. “So because they’re very pleased with us, they’re throwing us a party tomorrow. At a pool. Hence, pool party.” She held out her hands and looked very pleased with herself too.
“You’re hilarious.”
“I know.”
The noise from across the studio of a door opening immediately took my attention away from Robyn, Trio Records, and pool parties. I saw Brooke first, then Alex, both deep in conversation as they came into the room, and felt a skittering of nerves at seeing Alex again, even though I’d only seen her less than two hours before. As she wandered across the studio floor towards us, Brooke chattering away to her, Alex’s eyes sought mine, and the look of pleasure on her face when we finally made eye contact wasn’t my imagination.
“We were talking about the party tomorrow.” Robyn was the first to speak once Alex and Brooke were close enough to hear. “Tally was wondering what bikini she should wear.”
“I wasn’t.” My face grew warm. “She thinks she’s being funny”—I nudged her foot with mine—“but she’s not even remotely funny.” I didn’t want to even look at Alex.
“We were just talking about that,” Alex said. Then, hastily, “The party. Not your bikini.”
I saw the redness that speckled her cheeks. At least I wasn’t the only one dying with embarrassment then.
“Grant just told us out in the corridor,” Brooke said. “He’s already told us which girl he’s inviting.”
“Freeloader.” I cut my glance away.
“Well, I say it’s about time we were rewarded.” Robyn stood and pulled down the bottom of her T-shirt that had become scrunched up while she’d been sitting—or rather, slouching—on her chair. “All the hard work we do for this record company,” she said, “they should be sending out limos to collect us.”
“You reckon they will?” Brooke asked, her eyes wide.
“In your dreams.” Robyn.
“Only once we’ve had five number ones.” Alex.
I just laughed a bit.
Movement from across the studio signalled we were needed. Pool party temporarily forgotten, we wandered away from where we’d been standing and headed over towards the source of all the noise.
“Will I…see you there, then?” Alex turned to talk to me while Robyn and Brooke went ahead. “Tomorrow?”
“Of course.” I walked with her. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough, as far as I was concerned now.
“Grant said it should all be getting going by twelve,” Alex said. “So I’ll come and find you sometime after that if you like?”
“Yeah, right.” Robyn interrupted before I could answer. “By the time she’s decided which teeny-weeny bikini she can impress everyone with,” she said back over her shoulder, “the party will be over.”
I swear I could have killed her right there and then.
Chapter Nineteen
I hadn’t been to a pool party since the last long heatwave the south of England had sweltered under, when I’d been in Year 11 and we’d all headed down to some girl’s house from school (whose name I’d long since forgotten) and created havoc in her parents’ pool.
This one would be totally different. This one was being paid for entirely by Trio Records and even though it was being touted by Ed as a thank you to us all, I knew deals would be struck and the paparazzi would conveniently have limited access. That made me spend forever choosing an outfit, something that I hoped would make me look awesome, should any photos get published, while at the same time—remembering Robyn’s puerile jokes the day before—making sure I didn’t catch anyone’s attention too much. Especially Alex’s.
The party was in full swing by the time I arrived just before twelve. A swarm
of faces, some I recognized, some I didn’t, ebbed and flowed around me as I made my way round the side of the pool towards an already bikini-clad Brooke, who had snagged herself a lounger under the shade of a tree.
“Who are all these people?” I asked as I sat on the edge of her lounger.
“No idea.” Brooke smelled of coconut sun cream and heat. “Ed reckons they’re important people but I doubt that very much.”
“Anything for an afternoon by a pool, hey?” I looked around me. “Scroungers.”
I looked around for Alex, wondering if she was doing the same thing and looking for me.
“Robyn here yet?” I asked. “Or…Alex?”
Just the mention of her name made my voice sound funny, I thought.
“Robyn’s talking to Ed over there,” Brooke said, lifting her chin. “I saw Alex earlier, talking to some girl, but I haven’t seen her since.”
“Right.” A small jolt passed through me. “I thought she said she’d see me here at twelve but I must have been mistaken.” I paused. “Any idea who it is?”
“Who what?”
“Who she was talking to?”
“No idea,” Brooke said, settling back down again. “You having a drink?”
“Yeah. Want one?” I stood, moving away at Brooke’s nod.
I made my way over to the bar that had been set up under the shade and quickly grabbed us an ice-cold beer each before anyone could see, then picked my way round the loungers and chairs back to Brooke.
“Are we expected to mingle?” I asked as I handed her her beer and put mine down on the table next to her.
“Probably.” Brooke took her beer and placed it on the table before settling back and closing her eyes again.
I scraped a lounger over closer to Brooke and sat. I whipped my vest top off over my head and wriggled out of my shorts, kicking them off and dropping them onto the floor next to me, then lay back, feeling slightly self-conscious in my bikini.
I watched the people round the pool, some swimming, some sitting on the edge. All the while my eyes sought out Alex, hoping she wouldn’t come over whilst at the same time really wanting to see her, because a part of my brain was surprisingly good just lately at confusing me like that.
“So how was your evening last night?” Brooke murmured, breaking my train of thought.
“Good, yeah.” It was a pretty nondescript answer but the alternative was to tell her I’d spent the entire evening thinking about Alex.
“You heard Ed’s latest?” Brooke asked. “For some reason he wants to rerelease the first album, but add an acoustic version of ‘Drowning in You’ on it too.”
“You think the fans will buy it?”
“He thinks so,” Brooke said. “I just think he’s jumping on the bandwagon after the success of ‘After the Rain.’”
From the floor I heard my phone buzz. I reached a hand down and rooted in my shorts pocket until I made contact, then lifted my phone above my face, squinting against the sun so that I could read it.
Where are you? xxx
I looked at Alex’s name, my stomach feeling mushy but sick at the same time. I let my hand, still clutching my phone, drop to my side.
“I don’t know if they’ll want to shell out for another album that’s essentially the same, but with one extra song on it,” I said.
Alex’s text bored into my hand.
“I think he just wants to make even more money out of us.” Brooke smiled but didn’t open her eyes.
I wanted to see Alex. I didn’t want to see her.
“But still,” I said, just for something to say, “Ed knows his stuff.”
I wanted to see her.
I lifted my phone and wrote, With Brooke by the pool. Talking work.
Would that put her off?
I stared at my phone until she replied.
Okay, catch you later xxx
Disappointment coalesced with a certain amount of relief, but I knew the disappointment was stronger.
“If it means more days like this,” Brooke said, “then I’m all for it.”
“All for what?”
“A rerelease, dummy.” Brooke looked at me. “Has the sun got to you?”
No, but Alex has.
“A rerelease.” I nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
I’d drunk all my beer without hardly realizing it. As I drained the last of it, I held the bottle up.
“Another one?” I asked Brooke.
“I’ll go.” Brooke swung her legs over the side of her lounger. “I’ve hardly moved since I got here.” She stood and stretched. “Gotta pay a visit too, so I’ll be a while,” she said, then walked away.
Her stretch elicited one from me too. I lifted my arms high above my head, pointed my toes, then relaxed. The sun felt good on my skin, the beer sat happily in my stomach. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me: water slapping against the side of the pool, the squeak of wet bodies on inflatables in it, the chatter of voices vacillating around my ears.
When a shadow fell across my face, I flopped an arm towards the table next to me.
“You were quick,” I said. “Just stick my beer on there, will you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I peered up at the sound of her voice, shielding my eyes from the sun. Alex was looking down at me, some of her hair falling across her face, making my heart give a small jolt. I kept my eyes firmly fixed on her face, trying to ignore the sight of her practically naked body, thanks to the smallest of bikinis I think I’d ever seen.
“I saw Brooke by the bar,” Alex said, putting my beer and her bottle of Coke down on the table. “She said to say she’d be back later.” She looked at me. “I figured you two had finished talking work, so”—she sank down onto Brooke’s lounger—“I thought I’d come over and say hi.” The tiniest hint of a smile. It was adorable.
“Hi.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“Hi.” Alex laughed.
She swung her legs onto the lounger and sat back in one fluid movement, raising one knee up. I stared ahead, scared that if I looked over to her she’d be able to see the unease on my face at having a bikini-clad Alex so close to me.
“So what do you think of it?” she asked.
“The party?”
“Mm.”
“It’s okay, isn’t it?” I looked over towards the pool. “No one I recognize, of course.”
“Of course. That’s how these things work,” Alex said. “We do all the hard work and then total strangers get to hang out by a pool with us all day.”
“I’m being antisocial.” I grinned at her. “Topping up my tan is way more important than mingling with strangers.”
“I’d say your tan looks pretty good enough.” Alex did that thing of tilting her head to one side and looking at me for so long I was forced to look away. “To me, anyway.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed my beer and took a long drink. Perhaps I shouldn’t have, because the sun and the beer were beginning to make me feel light-headed. I was hot and sticky too, and as I cast a look to the pool, I knew I wanted to go in.
As if reading my mind, Alex sat up and looked towards the pool too.
“Shall we?” she asked, nodding towards it.
She rose and held a hand out to me, pulling me to my feet.
“You know you want to,” she said, drawing me by the hand.
We stood at the side of the deep end, each one daring the other to go in first to test the temperature. When it was clear neither of us wanted to go first, Alex reclaimed my hand and, taking a leap, pulled me in with her. The cool water hit me like a brick, sending a spasm of shivers up and down my body as we both plunged under. By the time I resurfaced, my skin had already grown accustomed to the cool, and I swam out to the middle of the pool to grab an inflatable, Alex swimming behind me.
We held on to the inflatable together, one either side, and trod water facing each other across it. The pool had cleared and I was pleased to have it all to ourselves. The water cooled my
hot skin, and as I kicked my legs down under me, I stared at Alex, suddenly feeling ridiculously happy.
“What?” Alex smiled at me from across the inflatable.
“Nothing.” I wiped some water from my eyes. “It’s just nice, isn’t it?”
Alex raised her face to the sun and closed her eyes. “It’s very nice.”
I didn’t know if I should say something, so I stayed quiet and just watched her while she still had her eyes closed. The moment was textbook and I didn’t want to spoil it; besides, I was enjoying having the chance to look at her while she didn’t know.
My eyes roamed her face, bronzed from the sun. I soaked up the sight of her, from her long dark eyelashes to her perfectly straight nose with its smattering of freckles, on to her slightly upturned mouth.
Alex lowered her face and, before I had a chance to look away, opened her eyes and caught me staring. I looked away, embarrassed, and there was a long silence, which I finally broke with, “So Ed apparently wants to rerelease the album.” It was lame, but it was all I could think of to say.
“Yeah, Robyn already said.” Alex rested her chin on her arm and looked at me.
Before I could say anything else, she released herself from the inflatable and sank under the water, swimming underwater a short while before resurfacing near the edge of the pool towards the shallow end. I released myself too, the inflatable bobbing away from me like a cork, and struck my legs out, swimming over to join her.
I arrived next to her and tentatively placed my feet down, pleased when I knew I could touch the bottom. We stood side by side, facing out towards the deep end, and watched together as some guy dived in, sending a spray of water out over the group of girls he’d just been sitting with, making them all shriek.
“Nice bikini, by the way.” Alex reached over and touched the strap on my shoulder. “I meant to say earlier. The colour really suits your brown skin.”
I felt every muscle tense as her fingers grazed my skin and I realized I was holding my breath. She held my gaze as she touched me and I knew immediately there was a weird tension between us which hadn’t been there before. Sure, there had been a chemistry that night on the beach, but it had been nothing like this. This was…what was it exactly? A new intensity. An amplification in the looks and touching and hand-holding that made me feel both uneasy and ecstatic at the same time.