Insatiable

by Val

  ‘Rijas.’

  ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘Jaime Rijas,’ he said, rummaging in a drawer until he found a business card to give me. ‘Well anyway, I’ll ring them.’

  ‘You can speak to Mr Andres Martinez. He used to be my boss.’

  ‘Fine.’ He wrote the name at the bottom of my CV. ‘Obviously,’ he went on, ‘I have to tell you that you’re not the only candidate for the job. I’ve already seen quite a few, and there are three more after you. You will understand how important it is I make the right choice.’

  ‘I understand, but I’m not sure I did the right thing in coming to the interview. To be frank, I don’t know whether the position would suit me. Until now I’ve always worked in publicity. I would have to think it over. What sort of salary are you offering?’

  ‘About two hundred and fifty thousand pesetas a month, before deductions.’

  ‘To tell you the truth, Mr Rijas, that is not exactly the best offer I’ve ever had.’

  ‘That’s what we would be prepared to pay during the probationary months; when we sign the proper contract we would reconsider. And of course that does not include expenses and a small commission we would pay if your public relations efforts helped lead to any new contract.’

  ‘I understand, and thank you for seeing me and considering me for the position.’

  ‘May I ask you another question?’

  He sat up in his chair and peered at me far more seriously than at the start of the interview.

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘Are you married?’

  This did not come as much of a surprise. A lot of employers ask the same question.

  ‘No, sir. I’m not married, and I have no children.’

  ‘A boyfriend?’

  He sat staring me in the face so intently I was flustered.

  ‘I don’t think that is a relevant question, Mr Rijas,’ I said, angrily.

  He did not seem upset by the way I reacted. On the contrary, he immediately became more concerned.

  ‘I know it might seem an odd question. But I need someone with no family commitments. It’s likely that whoever gets the job will have to travel quite frequently. That’s why I need a woman who has no emotional ties.’

  I didn’t find this explanation very convincing, but I answered all the same.

  ‘I understand. In my case, I have neither family nor emotional ties.’

  ‘Good. That’s all I wanted to know.’

  After that our conversation became a little more relaxed. We talked about the time I had spent in Spain, why I had left France, and the possibilities of promotion within the company. The end of the interview was very friendly, and when we shook hands to say goodbye he promised to call me within a week to tell me what decision he had reached, after carrying out all the other interviews.

  I wasn’t completely sure it was the sort of job I wanted, but then again, I wasn’t losing anything by going for it. I had formed contradictory impressions of Jaime. On the one hand he had seemed very professional and serious, but on the other his prying questions into my personal life had left me nonplussed. I found the mixture of solemnity and shamelessness very seductive. Above all, Jaime was a great psychologist of women.

  14th May 1998

  After thinking it over carefully, I’ve decided not to accept the job offer from Mr Rijas, should he call me to say that I have been chosen. The position is not at all what I am looking for, so I want to go on with my search – and anyway, I’m pretty certain he won’t call me again.

  But I was wrong. This morning his secretary rang to tell me I had been shortlisted, and invited me to call at the office again in the afternoon to speak to Jaime.

  Without much enthusiasm, I turned up at the office more out of a sense of professional duty and so as not to upset them, than because I wanted to work there.

  Jaime Rijas was much more relaxed and friendly than the first time. I was surprised at how certain he seemed that I would accept the offer.

  ‘It’s a very prestigious post. I have chosen you and another young lady, who has just graduated from the Barcelona Business School. If you are the one who finally gets the job, it will mean you discover all the secrets of a lot of companies, and will come to understand what makes them a success or a failure. Our consultancy is about helping them meet proper business standards, amongst other things. It’s fascinating!’

  ‘I don’t doubt it, Mr Rijas. I’m not saying the job isn’t interesting, simply that it may not be what I am looking for. I think someone with a business diploma might be more suited for this kind of consultancy than I am.’

  There I was, busily doing myself down. But Jaime insisted on trying to convince me it was exactly the job I was looking for.

  ‘Between you and me, diplomas aren’t worth much. What I appreciate are people and their potential.’

  ‘Yes, I completely agree.’

  ‘So we’re beginning to see eye to eye,’ he said, smiling. ‘Perhaps if I offered you more money, you might be tempted to accept?’

  ‘I’m not sure. It’s not just the money.’

  ‘Think it over. It’s also a question of your career.’

  ‘I will.’

  We said goodbye, and he promised to call me within a couple of days.

  The Trap

  16th May 1998

  DESPITE MY LACK of interest in the job, there is no doubt that Mr Rijas exerts a fascination over me that I find hard to understand. I liked his appearance, but I was even more taken by his manner, the self-confidence he displayed that made him seem indestructible, and his lack of fear when faced with challenges. I thought that his determination grew when confronted with a blunt ‘no’. He took rejection personally, and was happy if he could change it to a committed ‘yes’. That is what makes him tick. I was a ‘no’ from start to finish, and he was determined to get me to change at any cost, by any means whatsoever.

  Today he called me as promised. But his conversation went off in a completely non-professional direction.

  ‘My partner and I have reached our decision. But there’s a problem, which I’d like to discuss with you personally.’

  ‘What sort of problem?’ I asked, my curiosity aroused, even though I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be of any help.

  Jaime adopted the tone of someone taking me into his confidence, even though he still hadn’t explained what all this was about.

  ‘I think you’re someone I can talk openly to. But I need to see you for that. Do you mind if we just meet and talk?’

  It all seemed very odd to me, but I agreed. I suppose that deep down I wanted to see him again. I still don’t understand how I allowed myself to be caught in that spider’s web which any outside observer could have seen would be fatal. I have always had a headstrong nature, and like challenges.

  ‘How about if I pick you up tomorrow evening around seven?’

  ‘Wouldn’t it be better to meet in your office?’ I asked, not liking the personal twist all this was taking.

  ‘I would prefer not to. I need a more neutral space to put the matter to you. Things are too busy here: consultants are coming in and out the whole time. I’m always being asked to do things. All the usual business stuff. That’s why I prefer somewhere quieter. I’ll take you for a drink – without any ulterior motives, of course.’

  ‘OK, that’s fine.’

  I couldn’t help wondering why he had mentioned ulterior motives. He knew my address from my CV, so we agreed to meet outside my place at seven the next evening.

  17th May 1998

  I got in his car and we started touring the centre of Barcelona looking for somewhere to park. I had not said much up to then, but had listened to him talking about what had happened during the day, and how much his company stood to make that month. According to him, the business was a huge success; he was so full of enthusiasm I began to wonder what kind of problem a man like him that everything seemed to shine on could possibly have. He suggested we went down to Maremagnum, w
here we could park easily and without the threat of being towed away. I agreed.

  We went up to the top floor of the shopping centre, which is open to the skies, and where there are an incredible number of bars trying to attract customers from the crowds that could easily fill a football stadium. After a short wait, we found two seats on a terrace next to a mini-golf. We ordered two gin and tonics.

  ‘What did you have to tell me that was so important, and why have you brought me to a place like this?’

  I could tell Jaime was rather taken aback by my audacity, but he rushed to reassure me.

  ‘First of all, why don’t you call me Jaime? And don’t stand on ceremony with me.’

  I nodded in agreement. If he was going to confide in me, we should be on first-name terms, and besides, he had asked me so politely!

  ‘OK. Well then, I’m an economist, I’m forty-nine and I’ve always been a businessman. I have very clear ideas about what I should and should not do. In all those years, this is the first time something like this has happened to me, so I thought it would make sense to talk it over with someone who would come to it without preconceived ideas – and that’s why I wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Me?’ I exclaimed, pouring more tonic into my gin.

  It was a surprisingly cold night, and as he spoke Jaime rubbed his hands to warm up. His gestures were so florid it was as though he were about to speak to some huge public meeting.

  ‘Yes, you!’ he said, pointing a finger at my heart.

  ‘Why me? We have only met for a job interview; we don’t know each other at all. What makes you think I’m the right person to give you advice?’

  ‘Precisely because we don’t know each other. That means your opinion will be all the more objective. Something tells me your advice could be very helpful. Don’t ask me to explain why, because I couldn’t. But I’m convinced you can help me.’

  ‘Fine, but that depends on what the problem is. How am I supposed to help?’ I asked him again, running out of patience.

  Jaime was so calm he didn’t seem as if anything could worry him, but he replied, ‘I’ve met someone at work, but given the fact that I run the company, I’m not sure how I should behave towards her. In the past I’ve always been able to control my impulses, especially in a work context. Above all, it’s a question of ethics. That’s what I’ve always thought. But now the situation is getting beyond me, and I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘So how can I help?’

  I still didn’t have the faintest idea what this man wanted from me. He took his time, sipping his drink, and then putting it back on the table and playing with the cocktail stick.

  ‘What would you advise?’

  ‘How should I know? Who is this person? Does she work for your company?’

  ‘No, but I’m in contact with her indirectly. I don’t know her very well. She works for someone else. But the worst of it is I’ve fallen head over heels in love with her.’

  ‘Does she know?’

  ‘I think she’s an intelligent woman, and she must have realized there’s something going on. But so far she hasn’t made any comment, and I haven’t said anything about how I feel. But these things are bound to show, aren’t they? I reckon that deep down she doesn’t want to face reality, because she’s afraid to.’

  ‘Well, if you really want my opinion, I think the first thing you should do is talk to her. Perhaps she hasn’t even realized how you feel.’

  ‘No, I think she knows perfectly well what’s going on. But it’s a very delicate situation. How would you react, if you were her?’

  ‘Well, if I were in that situation and I liked the man, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. It depends on the work relationship you two have. I find it hard to be completely sincere with you. Not everyone would take risks like I do.’

  ‘Aha, thanks for your honesty, anyway.’

  He seemed truly grateful.

  ‘Why don’t you talk to her?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but I can’t find the words, so whenever I come to the crucial moment I start to talk about work instead.’

  ‘What are you afraid of?’

  ‘Her telling me she doesn’t feel the same about me.’

  I was surprised at this unguarded reply. On the few occasions I had met him, Jaime had always given the impression of being in control and of being very sure of himself. Now it seemed that wasn’t true at all.

  ‘But if you don’t talk openly to her, you’ll never get anywhere. Things will stay stuck where they are now.’

  ‘You’re right, and that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I knew your opinion would help a lot.’

  I must admit, I was pleased he had turned to me. All women like that. But I still did not understand why he had such confidence in me.

  ‘Well, how about going to have something to eat? I’m hungry, and since we’re talking like this, why not do it at a proper table? I know a restaurant near here where you can get really fresh seafood.’

  This sounded like the kind of invitation a friend might make, so I again said yes. What Jaime was trying to do was to make me drop my guard so that we could be more friendly; when I had seen him at his office I had always been very distant.

  He paid for the drinks and we walked to the restaurant, which was about five hundred metres away towards the Olympic Village. The owner, who appeared to know Jaime well, greeted him warmly and quickly found us a table although the place looked full. He offered us an aperitif, and Jaime asked me if it was all right for him to order seafood platters for both of us.

  ‘A nice plate of seafood to cheer us up, don’t you think?’

  I love seafood, so I was all for it. It seemed we had similar tastes. He ordered a bottle of the best champagne, and proposed a toast to friendship. It seemed more like he was trying to impress and seduce me. For a while we just chatted, and then he started again with more personal questions.

  ‘Were you really annoyed the other day when I asked if you had a boyfriend?’

  ‘I was a bit shocked,’ I said frankly. ‘I could understand why you asked whether I was married or not. But why should it matter about a boyfriend?’

  ‘It was very important for me to know.’

  ‘I know. You told me you wanted the person you took on to be free. If that is what you’re looking for, I think you’re going to find it difficult.’

  ‘Well, that wasn’t the real reason.’

  I put my fork down.

  ‘Ah, no? Why was it then?’

  ‘It was to find out whether I could ask you out tonight,’ replied Jaime, going on eating. ‘If you’d said you had a boyfriend, I’d have tried another tack.’

  ‘What?’

  I was left speechless, unable to react.

  ‘Yes. If you did have a boyfriend, I would have pursued you anyway.’

  By this time we had drunk quite a lot, so I thought it was the drink talking. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, and could not help laughing nervously.

  ‘You wouldn’t have been put off by my having a boyfriend?’

  ‘On the contrary, I would have done all I could to get you to leave him,’ he said, as self-assured as he had been at our first meeting.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I said, still laughing nervously. ‘Haven’t you just been telling me you’re in love with another woman?’

  I couldn’t understand a thing, and thought he must be completely crazy.

  ‘Yes, it’s true, I am in love with a woman.’

  ‘So I see,’ I said sarcastically. ‘You’re in love, but that doesn’t stop you trying to pick me up.’

  He burst out laughing.

  ‘How silly can you be?’ he said affectionately. ‘You don’t get it, do you?’

  ‘No, the truth is I don’t understand you. You’re like all men. You have a woman you’re in love with, yet you can’t take your eyes off the others. I really don’t get it.’

  I no longer cared what he thought of me. I had decided that after this conversation I never
wanted to see him again in my life. He was obviously a dangerous self-obsessed fool. All of a sudden, Jaime stopped laughing and called the waiter over. He asked for another bottle of champagne, then did not say another word until our glasses were filled again. He raised his and said, ‘Here’s to you, Val, the woman who is driving me crazy.’

  He stared at my glass, expecting me to raise it too, but I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even move. What he had said was the last thing I had expected, and no one could have been more surprised. He asked me again to drink with him, and in the end I raised my glass like a zombie.

  ‘That’s what I wanted to tell you. That’s why I asked you to have dinner with me. I’m crazy about you,’ he said, craning his neck towards me across the table. ‘You’re the woman I’m in love with.’

  I sat there open-mouthed, while he downed his entire glass. I couldn’t swallow a sip of mine.

  ‘Phew! I’m glad that’s over,’ he said, obviously relieved. ‘Now I’ve got it off my chest. I just had to talk to you.’

  I still couldn’t believe my ears, but just sat there staring at the champagne bubbles rising to the surface in my glass.

  All of a sudden Jaime looked sad, and then he said, ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m really sorry.’

  He asked for the bill. I still felt very strange: I’m not used to someone I hardly know declaring his love for me. He paid and we left in silence.

  ‘I’ll take you home. I hope you don’t mind. When I go out with someone, I like to see them safely home.’

  My head was starting to ache. I had drunk too much, and had no idea what to say to him. I decided to let him have it his way. When we reached my building, I was surprised again when he said good night and left at once. But I did nothing to stop him, because I was still stunned by his sudden declaration, and needed some time to take it in and recover.

  20th June 1998

  Almost a month has gone by since we started going out together. After his declaration, Jaime did not call again except once to tell me that if I wanted it, the job was mine, whether or not I was interested in him romantically. I turned the offer down: it was clear after the dinner that I couldn’t work in his firm, and that I would have to look for something else, because I had decided to go out with him. It was either one thing or the other. I have to admit I was impressed by the way he had taken the plunge and declared his love for me; but I was equally impressed by the discretion he had shown afterwards. He seemed to have understood perfectly that I didn’t want to be pressured, and in so doing he was creating just the right kind of climate for me to fall in love with him. He had also seen from the start that I was not interested in the job. He must have thought I was a very self-possessed woman with very definite views, someone who can only respond if she doesn’t feel too hassled. In fact, I’m the perfect prey for any daring hunter.