She sat down beside Winnie and rubbed her back. “You know, I’d be lost if you weren’t here.”
“You’d manage.”
“Look, Winnie, I know this probably isn’t the most exciting place in the world to live, and that you’d probably rather live with one of your friends, but it would mean a lot to me if you stayed.” Marilee suddenly realized she wasn’t simply trying to make Winnie feel better; everything she was saying was true. “I would have been so lonely here by myself, what with trying to rebuild my life. You’ve made it bearable, even fun.”
The girl didn’t answer right away. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Marilee. You’ve been kinder to me than my own parents.” She paused. “It freaked me out when they turned their backs on me. I mean, I always tried to do my best. I was a good girl.”
“I have no doubt about that.”
Winnie rolled over and faced her. She had been crying. “I have this sister, Darlene. She’s as wild as they come, always off with some boy. She’s already flunked two grades, but my parents never once gave her a hard time over it. She’s lazy, too. Mama tried to teach her to cook, but Darlene can’t boil water. No way could she be trusted to take care of the younger children. The phone might ring, and she’d forget all about them.
“I studied hard, Marilee, and I did everything I could to make things easier for my daddy at the store. Do you think anybody ever noticed? But if I slipped up, say I accidentally overcharged a customer or didn’t charge enough tax on a purchase, boy, I caught hell.”
“Oh, Winnie.” Marilee knew what it was like to try to please someone, only to be criticized if she made the simplest error. “People expect a lot from those who have a lot to give. Your parents obviously had confidence in you. If they seemed to take you for granted, maybe it was because they knew you were more than capable.” She paused. Is that why Grady had pushed her so hard? Because she’d actually been so good at her work that he had come to expect the best from her? When she turned the idea around and looked at the situation differently, she saw it in a whole new light. She had proven herself capable time after time. She felt a new sense of pride in herself. She didn’t need a warning label on her brain. Grady had struck out at her because of his own frustrations, not her shortcomings.
“You know what, Winnie?” she said, the sudden epiphany making her feel stronger and wiser. “You and I are going to make it in this world. But it’s going to be more difficult for people like Darlene.”
Winnie seemed to ponder the idea. “I suppose I never looked at it that way.” She met Marilee’s gaze. “I’ve always wanted to be somebody. Ever since I was a little girl. Right now I’ve got my head set on being an accountant, but heck, who says I have to stop there?”
“Nobody.”
“Shoot, I could be a comptroller of a big corporation or I could have my own accounting firm.”
“Darn right!”
Winnie sat up. “I’d dress in snazzy business suits and carry my own briefcase—”
“You go, girl!”
“And have dental insurance for my child.”
“That, too.”
Without warning, Winnie slumped and her eyes misted. “I wanted so much to make Mama and Daddy proud of me. But in the end, I let them down.”
Marilee shook her head sadly. “No, Winnie, they let you down.”
Winnie’s head snapped up, and she opened her mouth. It was obvious she was ready to defend her parents. Instead, she closed her mouth and said nothing, although it was obvious her mind was at work. The two sat quietly for a moment.
Marilee realized what a burden she had placed on Grady, always looking to him for approval. Why had she needed it so desperately? Why had it not been enough to simply approve of herself? She wondered if Winnie was asking herself the same thing.
“Thanks for talking with me,” the girl said after a moment. “You helped a lot.”
Marilee shrugged. “That’s because I’m older and wiser.”
“Definitely older.”
Marilee elbowed her. “Not too old to toss you out on your butt if you make any more wisecracks about my age.”
“You wouldn’t last five minutes without me.”
“How do I know when you won’t go away?”
Winnie laughed out loud. “Hey, there’s chocolate-mint ice cream in the freezer. Might not be enough for two, but plenty for one.”
They looked at one another. Marilee jumped from the bed, but not before Winnie grabbed her arm and tried to hold her back. Still grasping her arm, Winnie came up off the bed like an acrobat. “Hey, I’m pregnant! I should be the one to eat it.”
Marilee tried to pull free and make for the door, but Winnie blocked her. “You’re on a diet!” she told the girl.
“It’s low fat.” Winnie made it out of the bedroom door, raced down the stairs with Marilee on her heels, trying to grab the tail of her T-shirt to keep her from getting to the refrigerator first.
“THAT WOMAN IS HARD to figure,” Sam blurted as his mother finished the dinner Marilee had sent over.
Nell looked up from her TV show. “What woman, dear?”
“You know perfectly well what woman.”
Nell chuckled. “You know what your problem is, dear? You’re used to women throwing themselves at you. Marilee isn’t like that.”
“She bends over backward for everyone but me,” he grumbled.
“Perhaps that’s because she knows the rest of us are sincere and don’t expect anything in return.”
He shot her a dark look. “I’m sincere.”
“Of course you are, dear.”
He didn’t like his mother’s tone. “I’m going to bed.”
Nell chuckled. “You’re going to need your rest, son. I have a feeling you’re going to have to jump through hoops if you hope to catch Marilee’s attention.”
“What makes you think I’d bother?”
“Because she’s worth it.”
JACK WAS WAITING FOR Marilee when she arrived for work Tuesday night. As usual, he was dressed impeccably, with not one hair out of place.
“Marilee, I’m glad you’re here. I want you to be the first to sample the chef’s crab cakes with lobster sauce. He’s been playing with the recipe for weeks.”
“I’d be honored.”
He led her into his office. There, a table had been set for two, complete with fresh flowers and candlelight. Marilee was surprised, then stunned when he dimmed the light. “You’ve gone to an awful lot of trouble,” she said, feeling uneasy with the situation. She had expected him to take her into the kitchen for a taste.
Jack looked embarrassed. “Actually, I was hoping you’d have dinner with me.”
“Dinner?” She glanced from him to the table and back to him. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I feel like I’ve found a friend in you, Marilee. You seem so…understanding. About Teresa, that is.”
“You don’t owe me anything for listening, Jack.”
“I know. That’s the kind of person you are. You’re a giver. Most people are takers.”
He looked so sad for a moment that Marilee was at a loss for words. “Jack, I’m sure your wife was a wonderful woman, but you need to move on,” she said at last.
“I know. It’s just not easy for me. Why don’t we sit down?” he said, pulling out a chair for her. “Your dinner is getting cold. I asked Robert to serve everything at once. Hope you don’t mind.”
“I’m flattered that you invited me,” she said. She took her seat and waited for him to join her. “I don’t know that I can eat all this.” The chef had prepared a Caesar salad, crab cakes with a white sauce, steamed asparagus and garnished new potatoes.
Marilee sighed her immense pleasure when she tasted the lobster sauce.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth,” she said honestly. She tasted the rest of her dinner. Everything was perfect. No wonder the Pickford Inn charged so much.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” Jack asked,
holding up a slim bottle.
Marilee chuckled. “I’m afraid I might not be able to sit up straight at the piano if I drank that. I’ll just stick with water.”
Jack filled his glass. “Tell me about yourself, Marilee.”
She looked up quickly. “I’m afraid there’s not much to tell. My life is rather…uneventful.”
“Have you ever been married? You didn’t specify your marital status on your application. Or is that too personal for me to ask?”
Marilee hesitated. “I’m in the process of a divorce.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have children?”
“A fifteen-year-old son. He’s presently living with his father.”
“That must be hard for you.”
“It is, but I try to stay busy so I won’t think about it as much.” She told him about her other job. Jack was a good listener and before long she found herself telling him about Grady and LaFonda and how Josh had refused to speak to her when she’d gone to his school. She could feel her throat thicken with emotion at the memory of her son’s rejection. “Everybody says my son will come around, but I don’t know. Our relationship was strained before the breakup. I think I may have been overprotective.”
“You acted out of love and concern.”
“I’m afraid I may have pushed him out of my life.”
“He’s probably confused right now. And maybe a little angry. I hope you have a good support system. I joined a grief group after Teresa died. I think that’s the only thing that pulled me through.”
She told him about Clara, Ruby and Winnie.
“Good friends are hard to find.”
Marilee decided a change of subject was in order. She didn’t need to think about Josh and get depressed when she needed to be at her best. She asked Jack about the restaurant business, and he seemed eager to discuss it. She was surprised with how open he was. Finally, she glanced at the clock behind his desk and noted the time. “I’d better get to work.” He immediately stood and pulled out her chair.
“Thanks again for joining me.”
“Thank you for asking.” As Marilee made her way to the ladies’ room to wash up and freshen her lipstick, she couldn’t help wondering why Jack had invited her, of all people, to join him. A man like that would have no trouble finding female companionship.
Gertie walked into the rest room as Marilee was finishing up. “Heard you and the boss dined together this evening.”
Marilee blushed. She had not thought that a simple dinner would create gossip among the staff. “He was just being nice.”
The waitress shrugged as she made for the door. “It’s none of my business. I’d better check on my customers.”
Marilee stood there for a moment, wondering if Gertie was angry with her. Did the waitress have feelings for Jack? If so, Marilee needed to assure her that she had no romantic interest in the man.
Marilee opened with Jack’s song, and then played several of her favorites as requests filtered in. She was somewhat disturbed with Gertie’s comments in the ladies’ room, especially since the woman had been so friendly to her before. Marilee resolved to clarify her relationship with Jack as soon as she could. Not that Jack wasn’t both handsome and charming enough, mind you. Just not handsome in a Sam Brewer sort of way. Sam was tight jeans and rippling muscle; Jack had the looks of a movie star. But as the evening wore on and Gertie became more distant, Marilee wished she’d never agreed to have dinner with him in the first place.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“OKAY, THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS today is that our new friend, Nell Brewer, wishes to become a committee member for Blessing Home,” Clara said as they sat around Marilee’s kitchen table the following Saturday. “All those in favor—”
“I’m so nervous,” Nell blurted.
“Don’t be nervous,” Winnie said, glancing over her shoulder from the kitchen sink. “This group is desperate. All of the other members have quit on them.”
Clara looked perturbed. “Winnie, please. We’re trying to vote.”
“Well, Nell has my vote, for what it’s worth,” the girl responded.
“You’re not part of the committee,” Clara pointed out.
The girl gave a snort. “There goes my reason for living.” Clara sighed and tapped her gavel on the coaster Marilee had provided. “Let’s get back to business, ladies. All those in favor of having Nell join our committee say aye.”
“Aye!” Ruby and Marilee said in unison.
“Aye,” said Clara. “Let the record show it’s unanimous.”
Marilee made a note in her binder. “Welcome aboard, Nell.”
The older woman shivered in delight. “I’m so excited. To think at my age I can still make a contribution to the community. That’s a wonderful feeling. I can’t wait to see the look on Sam’s face when I tell him.”
“We’re proud to have you,” Ruby replied.
“Welcome, Nell,” Clara said, offering her hand. They shook. “Now then, let’s call the meeting to order.” Once again, she tapped her gavel. “The question before us is whether to hold a white elephant sale to benefit Blessing Home.”
“I can probably get us in the VFW hall,” Ruby said, who often attended functions at the Veterans of Foreign Wars hall.
“I was getting to that,” Clara replied, “but first we have to vote on whether or not to have the white elephant sale to begin with.”
“Clara, do you have to do everything by the book?”
Clara ignored her. “Everyone in favor of having a white elephant sale to benefit Blessing Home, say aye.”
“Aye,” they said in unison.
“Okay, then.” Clara tapped her gavel. “Once again, we have a unanimous vote.”
Ruby raised her hand. “My question is where are we going to find people willing to donate to our sale? Marilee has already called about a zillion people, and nobody seems interested in helping us.”
They looked at one another.
“I can talk to the ladies at my church,” Nell said.
Marilee pondered the problem for a moment. “You know, it’s easier for people to say no over the telephone. I think we should approach them in person. I can visit a couple of businesses on my lunch hour.”
Clara tapped her pencil on her notepad. “I can talk to my editor friend at the Gazette once we’re ready. She’ll give us plenty of coverage.”
“And I’ll talk to my customers,” Ruby said.
They discussed the matter over another cup of coffee. Once everyone was assigned a certain duty, Clara called the meeting to an end. She turned her attention to Marilee. “You look tired.”
“She should be tired,” Winnie said. “The woman works around the clock.”
Marilee waved the remark aside. “I’m not the first person to hold down two jobs. Besides, Winnie takes good care of me.”
“How do you like working at the Pickford Inn?” Ruby asked.
“I like it, and the money is good.” She told them about Jack.
Ruby made a face. “Now, don’t you go getting involved in somebody else’s problems,” she said. “If he’s still grieving over his wife after ten years, he needs counseling.”
“He’s so sad,” Marilee said.
“Ruby’s right,” Clara said. “It’s not your problem. I know how you are, Marilee. You need to stay out of it.”
“That’s what I told her,” Winnie said. “Man needs a shrink.”
Marilee looked at them. “Don’t get involved? I shudder to think where I’d be right now if I didn’t have all of you.”
“That’s different,” Clara pointed out. “We’re your friends. Surely this man has someone he can talk to.” She pursed her lips. “People gravitate toward you because…well, because you have that look about you.”
Winnie grunted. “Yeah, sucker.”
Marilee shot her a look. “Okay, I’ll stay out of it.” But she knew that wasn’t likely.
“How old is this man, anyway?” Ruby asked.
&nb
sp; Marilee shrugged. “Forty-something.”
“Uh-huh. Has it ever occurred to you the man is trying to hit on you?” Marilee appeared shocked. Ruby mocked her expression. “Oh, is that so surprising? Have you glanced at yourself in the mirror lately? I swear, Marilee, you are so naive.”
“That’s not the way it is between Jack and me. I tell you, the man is inconsolable.”
“Nothing that a little poontang wouldn’t cure, I’ll bet,” Winnie replied.
Ruby laughed out loud and Marilee blushed as Nell tried to hide her smile behind her coffee cup.
Clara gasped. “Winnifred Frye, I’m not believing my own ears!”
“Okay, I’ll shut up.”
Marilee made a mental note not to discuss Jack with the girls in the future.
“Still no word from Josh?” Ruby asked.
“Nothing.”
“Why don’t you call him?” Clara suggested. “It’s Saturday. He’s probably home.”
Marilee had not even thought of calling. “What if he refuses to talk to me?”
“Only one way to find out,” Ruby said. “You won’t get anywhere unless you try.”
Nell clasped her hands together and regarded the group. “Marilee has a right to feel cautious. She’s been badly hurt.”
The group was silent as they pondered the dilemma.
“I don’t believe this,” Winnie said. “Just pick up the dang phone and call. I’ll look up the number.” She reached into a cabinet for the telephone book. “Now, what name should I look under?”
“Her last name is Bonaire,” Marilee said, spelling it out for Winnie. “First name LaFonda.”
“And if you can’t find it under that, try town slut,” Ruby said, earning a dark look from Clara.
“Okay, here it is.” Winnie picked up the phone and stretched the cord out so Marilee could reach it.
“My palms are sweating,” Marilee said. The women waited breathlessly as Winnie dialed. She waited. Grady answered on the third ring. Marilee’s mouth went dry. “Grady, this is Marilee. May I speak with Josh?”
“He isn’t here right now, Marilee. I’m sorry.”
He should be sorry, she thought. Sorry for ruining their lives. “Do you know when to expect him?” she said, keeping all emotion out of her voice.
A New Attitude Page 12