Marilee’s body responded instantly. Her belly warmed, and her nerve endings tingled with pleasure. She couldn’t get close enough to him. She raised her hands to his hair and let it slip through her fingers. She had wanted to touch his hair for a long time.
A noise on the stairs made them jump. Marilee looked up to find Josh standing there, staring, his face masked in disappointment. “Excuse me for interrupting,” he said, “but I figured I should take Rascal out one more time.” He carried the dog outside.
“Damn,” Sam muttered. “I wish he hadn’t seen that.”
Marilee was stricken. “I thought he was asleep. I’m so embarrassed. Should I talk to him?”
“I’ll do it.” Sam walked out the back door. Marilee sat at the table and waited.
He found Josh sitting on the back steps, wearing a glum expression. “I’m sorry, Josh,” he said. “What you saw in the kitchen just now was all my fault.”
“My mother was kissing you back.” He looked at Sam. “You told me you were my mother’s friend, not her lover.”
“I’m not her lover, Josh, but I care deeply for her.”
“You’d like to be, though, wouldn’t you? What’s stopping you? Is it me? Am I in the way here?”
“Of course not.”
“Looks like I showed up at the wrong time.”
“That’s not true.”
“That’s why you bought me this dog, isn’t it? And why you took me fishing. Because you have the hots for my mom.”
“Josh, you’ve got it all wrong. Please listen to me.”
“I know the routine,” the boy said. “My dad’s girlfriend acted like she was crazy about me in the beginning because she knew it would make my dad happy. You’re no different than she is.”
“That’s not fair, Josh. I’m your friend.”
“You’re no friend of mine. You’re just using me to get to my mom.” He grabbed his dog, went inside and hurried up the stairs without a word to Marilee.
Sam came through the door a moment later. Marilee was sitting at the kitchen table. “I heard the whole thing,” she said. “You didn’t have to accept the blame. I had as much to do with it as you.”
Sam could see she was near tears. He took the chair beside her and put his hand over hers. “I can try to talk to him again after he cools off. Your kid means a lot to me, and I don’t want him thinking I don’t value his friendship or that I was using him to get to you.”
“Maybe it’s best if we don’t see one another for a while,” she said, although it was not a pleasant thought.
Sam gave a deep sigh. “Is that what you really want? It sure as hell isn’t what I want.”
“You know how important it is to me that my son be happy.”
“What about us?” he asked gently. “Don’t we deserve happiness?”
“Josh is my first priority, Sam. You know what I went through to get him back, and I’m not going to risk losing him again.” She swallowed hard. “Not for you or anyone else.”
Sam was afraid to ask the question. “Are you saying you don’t want to see me anymore?”
“All I’m saying is I think we should back off for now.”
“My life is worthless if I don’t have you to share it,” he confessed. “I’ve never said those words to another woman, Marilee.”
She felt the same. But Josh had already been through so much, and he was still a kid. He needed time to heal from all that had happened. She would have to put her feelings for Sam on hold until she was certain Josh would be okay. “If you care about me, you’ll go along with this for now.”
He sat there for a long moment. She was asking a lot, but Sam was beginning to realize that loving someone often meant making sacrifices. It meant giving. “Okay, Marilee.” He squeezed her hand before releasing it. He stood and made for the door, glancing over his shoulder before he stepped out. “But you know where I am if you need me.”
Marilee locked the back door and turned out the lights. She climbed the stairs and knocked on Josh’s bedroom door. No response. Finally, she went into her own bedroom and closed the door.
JOSH BARELY SPOKE TO Marilee all week, grabbing a bite to eat when he came home then going straight up to his room. He called his dad several times, but the conversations seemed to depress him.
“Josh is just pouting,” Winnie said one evening when she and Marilee were alone. “He’ll get over it.”
“I’m not so sure,” Marilee said.
“So Sam kissed you. So what? You ask me, it’s about time the two of you got together.”
“I’m married to Josh’s father, Winnie. Josh loves his dad, and he’s concerned about Grady’s health.”
Winnie pointed to the calendar. “You’re going to be a divorced woman in exactly one week. Or have you forgotten?”
Marilee looked at the calendar. She had forgotten. “You’re right, Winnie. In one week, I’ll be a free woman.” She whispered the rest of her sentence. “Don’t say anything to Josh. I’d rather he not know.”
Winnie muttered a sound of disgust. “When are you going to stop trying to protect your son from every little thing and allow him to grow up?”
“He’s been through enough.”
“That’s life, Marilee, and the more you try to shield him from it, the harder it’s going to be on him when he has to make it on his own. In the meantime, you’re going to lose the best thing you’ve ever had.”
Marilee hoped that was not the case.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
JOSH WAS QUIET THE FOLLOWING WEEK, and it was all Marilee could do to act cheerful while she was at work. When Debbie put up a few Christmas decorations, Marilee realized she hadn’t given much thought to the holidays. On Friday, she knocked on Irby’s door. “I have to leave at three-thirty today.”
He looked concerned. “Everything okay?”
“I have divorce court at four.”
His look softened. “Okay, Marilee. If there’s anything Debbie and I can do, please let us know.”
She smiled. “I’m okay, Irby, really. I just want to get it behind me.”
Marilee arrived at the courthouse shortly before four and found Clara and Ruby waiting for her. “We thought you might need a little moral support,” Ruby said.
Marilee thanked them and sat down. Nell arrived a few minutes later. “Sorry I’m late. I had to take a cab.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Nell.”
“Winnie was worried about you. She called me this afternoon from school and asked if I would check on you.”
Marilee was deeply touched that her friends cared so much. She sniffed and wiped her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” Ruby said. “Grady will think you’re sad over losing him.”
Marilee took the handkerchief Nell offered her. “I don’t think he’s going to be here.”
Tate Radford arrived, briefcase in hand. If he was surprised to see her surrounded by her support group, he didn’t mention it. “This will go fast, Marilee,” he said. “As I told you, Grady and his attorney won’t be present today because they’re not contesting. Why don’t we go on in?”
“I’ll be praying for you,” Nell said.
“Hold your head high,” Ruby said.
“Be tough,” Clara added.
Marilee nodded and followed her attorney inside. She was trembling, but he took her hand and squeezed it. “Everything will be fine.”
The bailiff appeared and asked that everyone stand. Marilee felt her knees quake as she stood beside Tate. The judge cleared his throat. “Let’s begin,” he said.
Marilee concentrated on remaining calm as the judge read her petition and asked questions. Finally, he slammed his gavel, and the matter was over. Marilee couldn’t help feeling sad. Sixteen years of marriage, and it was over as quickly as most people could scramble an egg.
The women looked surprised when Marilee and her lawyer walked out of the courtroom a short time later. “I’ll file the decree,” Tate said, “and mail it to you.” He sm
iled, patted her shoulder and left her standing with her friends.
“Well, that’s that,” Marilee said. “It’s a done deal.”
“How do you feel, honey?” Nell asked.
“Sad and relieved at the same time.”
Clara pulled Marilee aside. “Winnie is going to spend the weekend with me since the other girl is no longer with me. We thought it would give you and Josh some time together.”
Marilee drove Nell home. “Do you need anything?” the older woman asked when Marilee pulled in front of her house. “I can make you a pot of soup.”
Marilee shook her head. “I’m fine, Nell. Go inside and get out of this cold.”
Josh met Marilee at the front door. His eyes were wide, his breathing fast. “Mom, we have to go to the hospital.”
Panic seized her. “Are you hurt?” she asked, looking him up and down.
“It’s Dad. He’s in the emergency room. They think he had a stroke. Where were you? I called you at work, but they said you’d left early. I even called Sam’s cell phone and left a message.”
Marilee was surprised he’d tried to reach Sam. “I had things to do,” she said, being deliberately vague. Now was not the time to discuss how she’d spent her afternoon.
They were on their way in minutes. Marilee broke the speed limit getting to the hospital. Once they arrived, she let a white-faced Josh out at the emergency-room entrance and searched for a parking place. When she entered the hospital she found Josh arguing with the receptionist.
“They won’t let me in,” Josh complained loudly.
Marilee tried to quiet him as she appealed to the woman at the window. “I’m sorry to bother you, miss, but my son is very upset about his father.”
“I know,” the woman said, “but as I tried to explain to him, the doctor has ordered several tests for your husband, and no one is allowed back there at the moment.” She looked sympathetic. “I promise to notify you as soon as I hear something.”
Josh turned, walked to a chair and fell into it. “This is all my fault,” he said when Marilee took the chair beside him. “I should have been there for Dad. I should have been there for him once that slut LaFonda walked out.”
Marilee was taken back by her son’s language, but she didn’t say anything. He was upset. “This is not your fault, Josh. Your dad is a grown man. He’s obviously not following his doctor’s orders.” She paused. “Stop making excuses for him.”
Josh tossed her an angry look and moved to the chair across from her. Marilee wondered if she’d been too harsh, but Winnie was right. Josh had to face facts or he would never grow up. A shadow fell over her, and she looked up to find Sam. Relief flooded her. She had never been so happy to see someone.
“I came as soon as I got the message,” he said. He sat beside Josh. “You okay?”
The boy shrugged.
“Your dad’s going to be fine,” Sam said, patting him on the knee. “Just have faith.”
“I lost that a long time ago,” the boy muttered.
Marilee looked away. It hurt to see her son so bitter. Had he turned away from all he’d once believed in?
“You can’t lose faith, Josh,” Sam said. “That’s what gets us through the tough times.”
Sam’s comments surprised Marilee. She had never thought of him as a spiritual man. Apparently, there was more to him than she knew. Their gazes met, but she glanced away quickly, fearing he might read the pain in her eyes. She had missed him terribly.
They waited for almost two hours while Josh paced the room. Sam tried to concentrate on the magazine he was reading, but his thoughts were centered on Marilee. He wondered if she had thought about him at all in the past weeks. He hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind since he’d agreed to back off.
The receptionist finally called them, and Josh hurried over. “You can see your father now. He’s in room three.”
Josh paused and looked at his mom. “Aren’t you coming in with me?”
She stood. She had no desire to see Grady but Josh seemed to expect it. “Of course,” she said.
They found Grady lying on a gurney. “Hi, Dad,” Josh said. “How are you feeling?”
“Not so good, Son. The doctor says I’m not responding to the medication he put me on. Hello, Marilee. Thanks for coming.”
She nodded and took a chair beside his bed. The door opened, and a young doctor walked through, looking as if he was in a great hurry. “Mrs. Abernathy?”
Marilee looked up. Her divorce had become final that very day, yet people were still referring to her as Grady’s wife. It was of little significance at the moment.
“Yes?”
The doctor introduced himself. “Your husband is okay for the moment. He had a very mild stroke and only lost consciousness for a few seconds. We’re going to try a new medication, but there’s little we can do if Mr. Abernathy refuses to cooperate. He knows what he has to do.” He scribbled something on his clipboard. “We’ve decided to keep him overnight so we can observe him.” He looked at Grady. “I suggest you see the doctor I recommended earlier.”
Grady sighed. “If you think it’ll help.”
“Can I stay with my dad?” Josh asked.
The doctor looked at him and smiled. “Sure. We’ll move him to a private room shortly, but he has to remain quiet. There’s a recliner in the room, Mrs. Abernathy, if you’d like to stay for a while. It’ll be at least another hour before we get your husband settled in.”
Marilee nodded. “Where should we wait?”
“I’m sending him to the third floor. You can wait in the visitors’ lounge.”
Josh took his dad’s hand. “I won’t leave you,” he promised. “I’ll be waiting when they take you up.”
“Thanks, Son. I just want to rest now.”
Marilee and Josh exited the room. Sam stood the minute they returned to the waiting area. “It was a mild stroke,” Marilee said, “but they’re keeping Grady overnight.”
“I have to go,” Josh said. “I promised Dad I’d be waiting for him upstairs. You don’t have to stay. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“You plan to spend the night?” Marilee asked, unable to hide her disappointment.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m not leaving him.” She opened her mouth to protest, but Josh cut her off. “Dad has nobody, don’t you get it? Just me. I’m going to stay with him until he’s better.” He paused. “Even if I have to move back in with him.”
Marilee was stricken. “Josh, please think this over carefully.”
“Nobody else seems to care what happens to him,” he replied. He turned to Sam. “Tell her what it’s like to lose your father. Tell her what it’s like for your dad to be fine one minute and dead the next. Tell her.”
“I don’t think your dad’s condition is that bad,” Sam said.
Josh looked impatient. “Look, I just want to be alone right now, okay?”
Sam cupped Marilee’s elbow in his palm. “Let’s go.”
She handed Josh a twenty-dollar bill. “Why don’t you grab something to eat from the cafeteria while you’re waiting. The doctor said it would be at least an hour before you can see your father.” Josh mumbled his thanks and pocketed the money. With tears shining in her eyes, Marilee followed Sam out of the emergency room.
“Where’d you park?” he asked.
She looked around the parking lot. “Over there.”
He led her in the direction of her car. “Give me your keys.”
“I’m okay.”
“Don’t argue with me, Marilee, you’re in no condition to drive.”
“What about your truck?”
“I’ll have someone drive me over tomorrow.”
He helped her into her car, and they were on their way. Marilee stared at the passing scenery without seeing it. “I’ve lost him again,” she said.
“Josh is just scared right now.”
“I should have stayed with him.”
“That’s not what he wanted.” Sam stopped at a
red light and looked at her. “You need to get used to the fact that Josh is not a little boy anymore, Marilee. He’s becoming a man.”
Marilee leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. It had been a long day. She glanced at her wristwatch and saw that it was only seven o’clock. It seemed later, somehow.
Sam pulled into her driveway and cut the engine. “Sit tight, I’ll get your door.”
Inside, he helped Marilee off with her coat and hung it in the closet. “Can I get you something? Have you eaten?”
“I’m not hungry.”
The phone rang. “That’s probably my mom. I’m sure she’s been watching for us out the window.” Sam answered it. Nell spoke from the other end. “Grady’s fine,” he told her. “Josh is with him.” He explained the situation further. “Marilee’s doing okay, but I’m going to sit with her for a while.”
When he hung up he found Marilee slumped in a chair in the living room. “How ‘bout I make you a cup of coffee? Or hot chocolate?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look dead on your feet, Marilee. You’ve been through a lot today, from what my mom said.”
So he knew about the divorce. “I’m really okay, Sam,” she said, wishing people would stop worrying about her. Maybe she wasn’t okay at the moment, but she would get through it, because that’s the way she was.
Sam disappeared into the kitchen, and Marilee could hear him rummaging about in the cabinets and refrigerator. She closed her eyes and thought of Josh. Perhaps everybody was right. Maybe it was time she allowed him to grow up. She had tried to remind herself of that fact daily. She’d even reminded herself at the hospital, but somehow she kept slipping back into her old habit of wanting to take care of everything for him.
“Marilee?”
She opened her eyes and found Sam standing there. “I’m sorry, I must’ve dozed off. What time is it?”
“After eight. I fixed a little something. I hope you like bacon and eggs for dinner.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you, Sam.” He held out his hand, and she took it and let him lead her into the kitchen where he’d already prepared their plates. He pulled her chair out for her, and she sat. Once she’d tasted her scrambled eggs, she looked up in surprise. “You’re a good cook.”
A New Attitude Page 33