“I had to learn,” he said with a smile. “My ex-wife wasn’t real handy in the kitchen.”
“Your mother said she’s always trying to get money from you.”
“That’s in the past,” he replied. “Shelly is getting married.”
Marilee took a bite of her toast. “Your mother also said you had a lot of money. Said you’d sold your business in Atlanta and made a huge profit.”
“My mother has a big mouth.”
“Why were you keeping it from me?”
“I wasn’t keeping it from you, the subject just never came up.” He looked at her. “Does it bother you?”
She shrugged. “It’s just you seem to know so much about me, and I know almost nothing about you after you left Chickpea.”
He looked thoughtful. “I’m not sure I want you to know all of it. I did some things I’m not very proud of.” He clasped his hands on the table. “I have always taken from people, Marilee. I’ve used them at times. So you were right about me on that account. I never loved my ex-wife. I guess that’s why it was just easier to give her money than live with the guilt.”
“Why did you marry her?”
He was thoughtful. “Maybe I was infatuated. She’s a beautiful woman. Once I became financially secure it suddenly became important that I have something to show for it. A lovely wife, a nice home, a family.”
“But you never had children.”
He shook his head. “Shelly and I never quite saw eye-to-eye on that one. She had too many things she wanted to do first. Tour Europe, attend every social event in town, see the best plays. Whatever was going on, no matter where it was, she wanted to be part of it.” He smiled. “I guess I was selfish. I had no interest in being on the go all the time, so I stayed home. We grew apart until I realized I preferred being alone to living with someone with whom I had nothing in common. I figured she felt pretty much the same, but she took the split hard. I think she feared being alone more than anything, so I tried to be there for her as much as I could. Not that I was doing her any favors. The more I did for her, the less she did for herself.”
Marilee pondered it. “Maybe you’ve given more than you think, and you’re not taking credit for it.” He shrugged. Finally, she smiled. “If I’d known you were so well off I would never have let you drink coffee from a chipped souvenir mug.”
“The one from Florida with the alligator on it? That’s my favorite.” He leaned forward on his elbows. “I don’t care about things like that, Marilee. I don’t place much emphasis on money, but I worked hard for many years to get where I am today. I know what it’s like to live from hand-to-mouth, to buy my clothes from secondhand stores. I don’t have to worry about that anymore. If my mother gets sick, I can afford to see that she gets the best medical attention. I’m proud of that fact.”
“I’m proud of you too, Sam.”
His look turned tender. “That means a lot to me. I never really cared about what anyone thought of me until I met you. I’ve missed you, Marilee. I never knew I could miss someone as much.”
“I’ve missed you too, Sam.”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. Marilee looked into his eyes and saw her own love mirrored there.
Finally, he sat back in his chair and grinned. “I’ve made coffee for us, and if you don’t mind, I’m going to drink mine out of that chipped mug.”
She chuckled. “Whatever it takes to make you happy, Brewer.”
“You make me happy.”
They stared at one another for a moment. His look was so intense that Marilee found it difficult to breathe. She wondered if he knew what he did to her. He only had to look at her in a certain way to turn her inside out. Her pulse raced, every nerve in her body came alive. It was as if she had suddenly awakened from a deep sleep. Unable to stand his scrutiny a moment later, she stood up.
Sam caught her wrist. “I’m cleaning the kitchen tonight. Just relax in the living room, and I’ll bring in your coffee shortly.”
“You’re spoiling me.”
“You need spoiling.”
Once Sam finished the kitchen he carried their coffee into the living room. There he found Marilee in the recliner. “Come sit beside me on the sofa,” he said.
She joined him, and they sipped in silence for a moment. Marilee realized she and Sam had not spent much time alone, and she was glad for the opportunity. They began talking. Sam told her more about his life in Atlanta; she told him about hers in Chickpea. They talked about their favorite foods and movies. When Marilee glanced at the clock she saw it was almost eleven. Where had the time gone?
“I think it’s time you got to bed,” Sam said. “Come with me.” Marilee followed him upstairs, pausing at the door as he switched on the lamp beside her bed. “Where are your pajamas?”
“Huh?” She gave him a blank look. “Oh, I should have a clean gown in that laundry basket on the dresser.”
Sam found a gauzy, powder-blue gown on top. He handed it to her. “Why don’t you get out of those clothes? I’ll cut off the lights and lock up on my way out.” He turned for the door.
“Sam?” He paused and looked at her. “Please don’t leave me.”
He met her gaze, and the love in her eyes took his breath away. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“Okay, babe, I’ll stay. Go ahead and get undressed. I’ll be right back.”
Marilee waited until he was gone to begin undressing. She folded her clothes neatly and placed them on a chair, then pulled the gown over her head. She walked to the window, moved the curtain aside and stared out into the night.
Sam stepped into the room and found Marilee at the window. He pulled the covers aside on the bed. “Come lie down, Marilee,” he said softly.
She did so. Once he’d tucked her in, Sam kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt off. Marilee merely looked at him. He reached over her and switched off the lamp, and pulled her close.
“Try to sleep,” he said softly.
Marilee awoke several times during the night feeling disoriented. Sam must’ve sensed it, because he moved closer.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”
At dawn, Marilee opened her eyes. Sam was snoring softly beside her. She pulled from his grasp, and he awoke. “I need to use the bathroom,” she said.
He released her and closed his eyes. Marilee slipped from the room and made her way downstairs. She found the number to the hospital and dialed it. A nurse on the third floor assured her that Grady was resting, and his blood pressure had gone down during the night.
“Have you seen our son?” Marilee asked.
“He’s fine,” the nurse said. “He’s sleeping in the recliner next to his father’s bed. I’ll make sure he gets a breakfast tray when we start serving.”
“Thank you.” Marilee climbed the stairs once more and went into the bathroom, where she took a hot shower. She dried and reached for her bathrobe. The house carried an early-morning chill, and she shivered. Sam was still sleeping when she reentered the bedroom and climbed in beside him. She studied him, the olive-skinned, sun-toughened face, the strong jaw. She had come to love that face, and the man who wore it.
He opened his eyes. They were gentle and contemplative as he regarded her in the soft morning light. “Your teeth are chattering,” he said. “Are you cold?”
“A little.”
“Come here.” He opened his arms to embrace her, and she snuggled against him, taking in his scent and body heat. “Better?” he asked.
“Much.” She looked up and met his gaze. His eyes were dark, compelling, magnetic. She felt drawn to him, a curious longing that was as wonderful as it was frightening. “You make me feel…” She paused, thinking he might find her words silly.
“What?” he said.
“Safe.”
He kissed her forehead. “I can’t prevent bad things from happening, Marilee, but I can be there for you, if you’ll let me.”
/> “Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
He looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you too, Marilee. I was afraid I’d never hear those words from you.” He kissed her softly, tenderly. When he pulled back, he struggled with his emotions, and his face took on a look of pure vulnerability. “I’m laying my heart at your feet, Marilee.”
Her own heart swelled. Marilee scooted closer and tucked her forehead beneath his chin, feeling the stubble on his jaw. “Do you think it’s too soon for us to feel this way?”
He rolled onto his back, and she lay in the crook of his arm, feeling him stroke her hair. “We’re not kids, sweetheart. We know what’s real and what isn’t. I think we both want the same things out of life. I know I’m a better man for knowing you.”
Marilee could not remember when anyone had said something that kind to her. She placed her hand on his bare chest, allowing the black hair that grew there to curl around her fingers. In just a few months Sam had filled a void in her that had been with her for as long as she could remember. Not even Josh or her charity work had been able to touch that part of her. Nor had Grady. It had taken her sixteen years to discover the difference between loving someone and being in love, to experience a feeling of such closeness that it was difficult to tell when one left off and the other began.
Suddenly, Marilee could not get close enough to the man beside her. The yearning she felt for him filled her heart and made her long for more, his scent, his touch. His skin was warm as she ran her hand lightly down his chest to his stomach. She heard him suck in his breath, and she became still, though her heart beat a frantic message to her brain that what was happening between them was right.
Sam turned his head on the pillow and his dark eyes searched her face. “Marilee?”
His voice seemed to come to her through a fog. She touched his nipple, watched it contract and was fascinated. Just the very thought that her touch could affect him made her giddy. Her stomach fluttered, and she felt warm. Sam lay very still, his body tense, as though waiting. She almost smiled. Sam Brewer, town stud, was afraid to make a move. Well, if Sam wouldn’t, by golly, she would.
She raised her head slightly and touched the very tip of his nipple with her tongue. He drew in another shaky breath.
“Oh, Marilee.” Her name was a soft sigh on his lips, but his eyes gave her a subtle warning. “Be careful.”
She slipped her hands beneath the covers and touched him. He was hard inside his jeans.
“Marilee, wait—” His voice was strained as he raised up on one elbow and gazed down at her. “Please don’t start something you can’t finish.”
She felt a strange surge of excitement, knowing he wanted her as much as she did him. “I want to make love with you, Sam,” she said softly, almost shyly. “I hope you don’t think it’s wrong of me.”
“Oh, Marilee.” He wondered if she had any idea what her words meant to him. Sam cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, his lips grazing hers, giving her time to adjust. He had wanted her from the first time he saw her, but now that she had finally voiced the words he’d ached to hear, he was almost afraid. She was so different from the other women he’d known in his life. Beautiful and sexy, but filled with such sweetness that he didn’t know how to proceed.
Go slow, he warned himself.
He saw the need in her eyes, her full lips wet from his kiss. “I love you, Marilee, but we haven’t discussed birth control.”
She was touched by his concern. “I just finished my cycle. I’m safe right now.”
He kissed her again, slowly, feather light. She responded as he’d hoped she would, parting her lips. He raised his head a fraction, and she followed, as though half-afraid he would stop. He had to know in his heart that she had no reservations about being with him. He slipped one arm around her, pressing his hand against the small of her back. She arched against him, running her fingers through his hair and bringing his face yet closer. She kissed him fully, her shy tongue darting inside his mouth. It was his undoing. Once again he cautioned himself against rushing her, although his own need was great. He pressed his lips against her throat and felt her racing pulse. He nibbled her earlobes, and she shivered. He cupped her breasts and flicked his thumbs against the fabric of her gown, teasing her nipples.
Marilee closed her eyes and gave in to the sensations, and when he pulled the straps down and gazed at her breasts for the first time, she felt no shyness, no reservations whatsoever.
Sam tongued her nipples until her breathing became rapid. He pressed a thigh between her own, and she parted her legs every so slightly. He applied a gentle pressure where he knew she would enjoy it most. She moaned softly and opened herself to him fully. His heart soared.
Marilee’s head spun at the pleasure of Sam’s touch. How did he know exactly what she needed, when she had no idea what he desired from her? All she could do was cling to him and respond. He pulled her gown off and removed her panties, skimming her outer thighs and hips with big hands that hard work had toughened. Marilee was lost in a world of sensations as he acquainted himself with her body, his eyes and hands eager to know her. Another time, she might have shrunk away in modesty, but as his fingers trickled across her belly she forgot everything. The gentle massage sent a current of desire through her, spreading heat from deep inside, making her soft and liquid.
He cupped her hips and pulled her closer as he kissed her deeply, his thigh moving ever so gently, a seesawing motion that took her breath away.
All at once, Sam couldn’t get enough of her. The very air they breathed seemed charged. His clothes became a hindrance, and he pulled away long enough to discard them. Marilee reached for him, stroked him. He gritted his teeth and touched her for the first time. She was wet. His body flamed. He kissed her belly, circled her navel with his tongue and pressed his lips against the downy growth between her thighs. He felt her stiffen, and he pulled back. He would not take more than she could give at the moment, even though her scent was intoxicating. He longed to touch her with his tongue, stroke her until she cried out, but he would wait until the time was right.
He gazed at her, drinking in the sight of her naked body. His eyes worshiped her unblemished skin and every curve. “I knew you would be beautiful,” he said, his voice raspy, “but I had no idea just how much.” Moving over her, he swept her thighs wider apart and hovered only a second before he entered her slowly. Marilee cried out, surrendering to him. He thrust deeply, urging her to move with him until they found their pace. Her body seemed to vibrate as she was filled with a white-hot heat that made her grasp his hips and hold him tight against her. Her thoughts ceased as she abandoned herself to the uncontrollable burst of sensation. She could no more control her outcry of passion than she could her next breath.
Sam thrust once more. His desire peaked and his body shuddered violently. He emptied himself inside of her and collapsed.
They lay side by side for a long time, gazing at one another as though seeing for the first time. Marilee touched his lips with her fingers, her insides glowing with love.
Sam kissed the tip of her finger. “Next time I want to taste you,” he said.
Marilee’s stomach did a little flip-flop. “Well, I—”
“There’ll be no holding back, Marilee. I want to know all of you.”
She shivered.
The phone rang, startling her, but she was thankful for the interruption. She snatched it up. Her son spoke from the other end. “How’s your father?” she asked.
“Not so good,” Josh said. He sighed. “His doctor is planning to release him today, but only if Dad will agree to bed rest. He has no place to go. He’s been evicted from his place.”
“I’m sure he can find an apartment.”
“He’s too sick right now to look for one.” The boy paused. “I need a favor, Mom. I know this is an imposition, but would you mind if he stayed in my room for a couple of days?”
Marilee sat up. Sam seemed to reali
ze something was going on and he sat up as well. She glanced at him and found a question in his eyes. “I don’t know, Josh. That would be a bit awkward, don’t you think?”
“Just for a couple of days,” he said. “Three at the most. You won’t have to do anything. You won’t even know he’s there.”
Marilee pressed one hand against her forehead. The thought of Grady coming into her house almost made her ill. “Can’t he stay with a friend?”
“All his friends have deserted him.” His voice was filled with scorn. “I wouldn’t ask you if it weren’t an emergency.”
She sighed. “You’re asking a lot.”
“I know.”
A long silence ensued. “Oh, Josh,” she said. “I don’t know what to say.”
“He doesn’t have much money or I’d call a cab and put him in a motel. He called Uncle Charles, who promised to send some, but it’ll take a couple of days.”
“How long before they release him?” she asked.
“Probably this afternoon.”
Marilee’s brain seemed to stop functioning. “I’ll need to think about this, Josh.”
“I’ll call you back in an hour,” he said.
She hung up.
Sam looked at her. “I only heard one side of the conversation, but I didn’t like the sound of it. What’s going on?”
She didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to spoil the mood from their lovemaking. “Grady has no money and no place to live.”
“What does that have to do with you?”
“He needs a place to stay for a few days.”
“You’re not thinking of letting him come here?”
She looked at him. “What else can I do?”
“Dammit, Marilee, that’s Grady’s problem!”
“It’s Josh’s problem too. That makes it mine.”
Sam raked his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what to say, Marilee. I mean, how am I supposed to feel?”
“How do you think I feel?”
He met her gaze. “What if I said no? What if I told you that I don’t feel comfortable with your ex-husband in this house?”
A New Attitude Page 34