Barbarian Mine

by Ruby Dixon

  “No. It just means you will be with us for a while longer.”

  I relax. “I’m ready to stop being pregnant.”

  Maylak grins, her sharp teeth showing. “I know this feeling well. But for you, it will not be much longer now.”

  I can hardly wait.

  • • •

  The next week crawls by slowly.

  I sleep a lot, thanks to the baby and Maylak’s healing. Since I’m confined to the caves, there’s not much to do when people aren’t visiting. And since my mate is skittish around all these people, I do a lot of shooing off even the most well-intentioned of visitors.

  Much has changed in the tribe since I was here last. They’ve split into two caves, with half of the group living in a network of caves to the south. Kira and Aehako are there, along with a lot of the single women and men. Tiffany, Josie and Claire are the only girls that haven’t mated yet, and so they are there as well. The main cave is full of pregnant couples, since they need to be close to the healer.

  Rukh and I are made comfortable in a cave that is used for meat storage, and everyone stops by to bring us extra furs or additional food or even baby clothes. My mate is clearly uncomfortable whenever people arrive, and he takes to spending a lot of time with Raahosh, hunting. The two men leave at dawn every morning and go out to provide meat for the tribe. Rukh has confessed to me that he feels obligated to Maylak for her help, and so he hunts not only for us, but for her and her family. I personally think a lot of it is stress relief, and I’m happy that Raahosh goes with him. Every time Rukh disappears, there’s a nagging worry in my mind that he won’t come back. That he’ll just walk and keep going, deciding that life alone is less of a hassle than a pregnant mate and people constantly in your face.

  At least Raahosh is with him. Liz comes over every day to keep me company, grumbling that now that I’m cave bound, he wants her to stay with me. She thinks he just wants her to stick around in the caves because he worries she’ll end up like me. I want to point out that it’s likely she never had a brain tumor, but then my secret would be out, and I don’t want to be treated weirdly by the others.

  Aehako and Haeden stop by from the south caves one day, and I’m thrilled to see both of them looking so healthy. It eases my lingering guilt, especially when Aehako wraps me in a bear hug and tells me all about Kira’s pregnancy and how happy they are.

  Days pass, and still the baby doesn’t come.

  I start to relax, because I’m feeling a lot better. The endless nagging pain in my side is gone and I no longer feel stretched to my physical limits. I suspect that maybe my baby won’t be coming early after all. Georgie’s further along than me and she shows no signs of going into labor any time soon.

  Since there are so many of us heavily pregnant, we tend to gather by the bathing pool. The water’s heated from one of Not-Hoth’s many hot springs, and it feels wonderful on my swollen feet. I’m happy to see that Marlene also suffers from puffy feet, and it makes me feel less like I drew the short end of the pregnancy stick.

  Today, several of the human girls are sitting around the pool. It feels a little cliquish, but then I remember that there are practically no sa-khui women in the tribe. There are two women our age, and two elderly women. Oh, and Farli, who is the Earth equivalent of a pre-teen. So I guess it’s okay if we huddle together.

  Megan holds up the leather belt she’s braiding. “See? You thought being a Girl Scout wouldn’t be handy at all. Who knew that I’d be using macramé skills on a daily basis in the future?”

  Nora snorts and wiggles her feet in the water. “When you’re done with that, make me one. I’m all thumbs.”

  “You are?” Georgie kicks a bit of water in Nora’s direction. “Have you seen my attempts at sewing? I can balance a checkbook like nobody’s business and can count a drawer of money in a heartbeat. But crafty shit? Not in the slightest.”

  I’m seated next to Megan, between her and Stacy. She’s trying to show us how to macramé leather together into knotted creations. It looks useful, and I think of the things I could make – a sling to carry the baby in, and Rukh’s shoulder bag looks as if it’s about to fall apart it’s so worn. Hell, maybe I could macramé a bra, because right now? My boobs hurt like there’s no tomorrow and the leather band I wear around them tends to slide.

  Liz sits nearby, sharpening and resharpening the tips of bone arrows. Marlene’s with the group, but she’s quiet, preferring to listen while others chatter. Ariana’s sleeping in back in her cave, and the men are out hunting to stock up. Last ‘winter’ apparently cleaned the storehouses out and so they’re working extra hard to make sure everyone has enough to eat for this upcoming winter, when the snows get so high they sometimes can cover the cave entrance entirely. Liz has plenty of stories about the insane amounts of snow, and they make me shiver. It was cold by the sea, but not nearly as cold as that.

  I concentrate on working the cords together like Megan’s showed me. “I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed,” I tell her. “I’m not good at craft stuff, either. Cooking, yes. Mechanical stuff? Yes. Crafts? No.”

  Liz looks up at that. “Oh, I forgot. Your dad was a mechanic, right?” At my nod, she continues. “Kira said that before you disappeared, you were trying to put together some stone cutters out of the ship’s old parts. You think we could still do that? Cut a few more caves? The south ones are nice but I miss having Tiff and Josie and Kira and Claire here.”

  “Maybe,” I say, twisting my leather cords. It looks wrong and I immediately untwist them again, frustrated. “I never got to finish the stuff from before. Things…happened.”

  “Yeah, we know,” Nora chimes in. “Rukh happened.”

  Georgie bats her arm. “Be nice.”

  “That was nice!”

  Georgie lifts her chin at me. “Speaking of Rukh, have you guys talked about baby names?”

  I make a knot with the cords, and Megan immediately pulls them back out of my hands and proceeds to redo them. Maybe I’ll just ask Megan to make me a sling instead of doing it myself. Crafty, I’m not. “We hadn’t really thought about it, no. I thought there would be plenty of time. And then, well…other stuff happened.” Other stuff like Liz and Raahosh showing up, and me getting sick, and and and…

  “We’ve been talking about it for a while, and a lot of us are going to go the Brangelina route,” Georgie says. “Combine our names with our mate’s names, since the babies are going to be the first of their kind.”

  “Yeah, it’d be a little weird to have a horned kid running around named ‘Joe’ or ‘Billy’ when everyone else is named things like Raahosh and Vektal,” Liz adds.

  “So like…Georgie and Vektal would be…Georgal? Or Vektie?”

  Georgie makes a face. “We have a name picked out and it’s not as bad as that.”

  “Oh, come on. It could be worse.” Liz’s lips twitch. “It could be Raahosh and Vektal’s names we’re mashing together. Their kid could be…Rectal.”

  Laughter explodes in the cave, and for the next few minutes, we crack up trying to make awful pairings of names. Liz jokes that their kid will be called Ho-shiz and Kira and Aehako’s called Crack-ho, and we all lose it again.

  “Stop, stop,” Nora gasps, clutching her sides and giggling madly. “You’re going to make me pee on myself.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Stacy chimes in, wiping tears from her eyes. “I had this discussion with Pashov last night when we were in bed. He told me that he thought our baby should be called Shovy. For Stac-y and Pa-shov.”

  “Shovy!” Liz howls. “Oh God, that’s the worst!”

  “You guys be quiet!” Ariana bellows at us from her cave. “I have a stinking headache!”

  We sober up, but a few giggles still escape the group. I’m grinning so hard my face hurts. It’s moments like this I’ve missed while being alone with Rukh. The seaside cave is quiet and lovely and spacious…but it’s lonely, too.

  But if things hadn’t happened like they did, I wouldn
’t have my Rukh and my baby on the way. I pat my stomach and the baby kicks me in response. I like how things turned out. “So, how is Kira?” I ask. “She’s at the other cave, right?”

  Georgie nods and rubs her belly absently. “She’s great. She’s so stinking happy with Aehako. You’ve never seen someone smile so much, really. It’s wonderful to see.”

  I don’t know Kira as well as Georgie and Liz, but I’m glad to hear that. “And Claire?”

  Nora wrinkles her nose. “She moved in with that pushy Bek guy.”

  “Oh, so they resonated?”

  “Didn’t say that,” Nora corrects me. “He’s just so determined to have her as his mate that he moved her in anyhow. He’s super bossy. No one likes him.”

  “Maybe he’s good in the sack,” Marlene chimes in.

  Stacy breaks out into the giggles again.

  Marlene shrugs. “Maybe so. It is not the worst reason to have a mate.”

  Georgie doesn’t look quite so convinced. She glances over at me again. “Tiffany’s doing awesome, of course. Last time I saw her, she had three guys dancing to her tune. She never picks one over another. Just lets all three of them pay attention to her. They give her all kinds of gifts, too. Girl’s got it made. She doesn’t have to hunt, doesn’t have to do anything. She could lie in bed all day—“

  “Like Ariana,” Nora whispers.

  Stacy elbows her.

  “—But you know that’s not how Tiff is,” Georgie continues. “I swear she loves this roughing-it shit. Last time I visited their cave? She told me she was saving her pee because she read in a book that pee made a good leather curing agent.” She wrinkles her nose.

  “Remind me not to ask her to make me any clothing,” I murmur.

  Stacy giggles again.

  A sharp cramp shoots up my belly and I shift in place, uncomfortable. I’m used to things cramping and flexing and adjusting with the pregnancy, but that was a particularly sharp one. I barely pay attention to the conversation as Georgie talks about Josie, and how she and Haeden still hate each other and it’s a source of amusement for the tribe to watch them bicker. Georgie looks at me as she talks and I smile, but I mostly want to get up and walk out this cramp.

  “Well?”

  I glance over at Georgie. I missed what she was saying. “Hmm?”

  “I asked if you’re going to stay with the tribe or if you’re going to go when Rukh leaves?”

  I stare at her in shock. “He’s leaving?”

  Her expression grows worried. “He told Vektal that he wouldn’t stay here.”

  I don’t know what to say. Rukh hasn’t discussed anything with me. In fact, every time I bring up when we’re going back to the seaside cave, he changes the subject. Dread fills me. Is…is he going to leave me behind? I thought he loved me. “I don’t know,” I whisper to Georgie.

  She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “It probably just hasn’t come up.”

  It hasn’t come up because my mate’s avoiding the conversation. I nod absently and rub at the cramp in my belly again.

  Georgie gets a weird expression on her face as she looks at me. “Hey, Harlow?”

  Oh God, what now? “Yes?”

  “I think your water broke.”

  Chapter Ten

  RUKH

  I won’t stop running until I get back to the tribal caves. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been running across snowy hills for hours. All that matters is Har-loh. I can’t stop thinking of the sickening way my gut churned as one of the hunters crested the hillside and headed straight for Raahosh and me as we hunted a dvisti herd. He scared away our prey, and Raahosh snarled at him…until we found out the reason why he’d chased us down.

  Har-loh is in labor.

  Raahosh stayed behind with the exhausted hunter, who’d run a long way to find us, and I raced back alone. My mind rips through all the hours that have passed since they sent the runner. Is my Har-loh in pain? Is the kit well? Did something go wrong that caused her to give birth today? A thousand worries crush me until I can’t breathe.

  But I still race forward.

  Relief shoots through me when the rocky cliffside that houses the tribal caves comes into view. I race a little faster, the end in sight.

  I skid into the cave a few moments later, flinging aside my pack. There’s a crowd of people hanging around in the caves but I ignore them, heading straight for my cave. The curtains are shut and Vektal paces just outside, a concerned look on his face. I move right past him and push into my cave.

  Har-loh is there, seated on the blankets. Georgie, the chief’s mate, is at her side, gripping her hand. Maylak is on the other side of her, and her expression is so calm that some of my panic disappears. The moment Har-loh sees me, she cries out. “Rukh!” She releases Georgie’s hand and reaches for me.

  “I am here, my mate.” I move to her side as Georgie gets up, and I brush the sweaty hair off of her smooth brow. “Everything is all right.”

  She pants, and her hand grips mine tight, her nails digging into my skin. “You’re sweaty, too. Did you run all the way here?”

  “All the way,” I agree.

  She chuckles at that, and her laughter turns into a groan a moment later. Her face scrunches up and she grips my hand so hard it feels as if she will snap the bones.

  “What is happening?” I snarl at the healer. “Why is she hurting?”

  Maylak frowns at me. “This is normal, Rukh.”

  “Con-track-shuns,” Har-loh adds between pants. “They’re coming really fast now.”

  I press my mouth to her hand. “How can I make them stop?”

  Har-loh stares at me, confused.

  “You are in pain,” I explain. “I want to make it stop.”

  “Then get this bay-bee out of me!”

  I look at the healer. “How do I do that?” I feel useless.

  Maylak just shakes her head. “The kit will come out on its own. Just hold her hand and support her. That is all you can do.”

  I’m relieved that there is not something I’m missing, but at the same time, I hate that I cannot take the pain from my mate. She has suffered so much.

  “Water, please?” Har-loh asks a moment later.

  I nod and scramble for my water-skin, frantic. It’s empty, and I stumble out of the cave, looking for more. “Water!” I bellow at Vektal and Georgie, still nearby.

  Vektal silently hands me a water-skin. It is good that he does not smile, or else I might shove him. I snatch it from his hands and race back into the cave, drawing the curtains closed.

  As I step back inside, I notice that Maylak is helping Har-loh into a squatting position. My mate is naked, I notice for the first time. “What are you doing?” I ask. Is she getting up? She can’t get up. She’s having our kit.

  “The child is coming,” Maylak says. “She is getting into position.”

  I watch, helpless and clutching the water-skin as the healer coaches her through. The healer rubs Har-loh’s shoulder and whispers encouraging words. My mate groans and as I watch, she bears down, her hands curling into fists against the stone floor of the cave. Maylak moves the furs between Har-loh’s legs. “It’s coming. One big push.”

  Har-loh screams, the cords of her neck showing, and I clench the water skin so tightly in my hand that it spills over. She sounds as if she is in such pain. I feel helpless at the sight of it. I remain frozen as the healer reaches between my mate’s bent legs and pulls something free.

  A moment later, a kit cries out, the wail overloud in our cave.

  Har-loh pants and laughs, tears streaming down her face. She looks up at me, exhausted and happy all at once.

  Maylak cuts the cord, wraps the child in furs and then holds it out to me. “Take your son while the mother and I finish.”

  My son?

  I step forward, numb, and drop the water skin. The child is thrust into my arms a moment later and then Maylak turns back to Harloh. I stare down at the bundle I hold.

  It’s so…tiny. So smal
l. The face is small and scrunched, the forehead with two small buds that will one day become horns. His nose is small and smooth like Har-loh’s, but his forehead holds traces of the ridges that mine does. And he is a pale, pale blue, a color between my skin and my sweet Har-loh’s. He is bald, and I’m torn between thinking he is the ugliest, weakest creature I have ever seen…and the most wonderful.

  I unwrap him because I have to see all of him. I have to know he’s fine, he’s healthy…he’s just so small. The moment I unwrap him, he begins to wail even louder. I stare down at his tiny body. Skinny legs flail, and his tiny tail flicks with anger. The cut cord is still bleeding, limp against his rounded belly. His arms reach out as if looking for something, and I give him my finger to hold onto. He clutches it and I notice his grip is three fingered, like mine. Even his tiny cock has a spur.

  My son.

  I catch a glimpse of his eyes, wrinkled slits that scrunch as he wails. They are dark, no blue spark of life in them. That worries me. His size worries me, too. He’s so small that he fits in the palm of my hand. I’m awed by him, but I’m terrified. My Har-loh brought this tiny life into being and now I must ensure that he is safe and well fed. A fierce surge of protectiveness wells inside me, and I wrap the baby tightly in the furs again and hold him to my chest.

  I would do anything for him. Anything. I’m choked with emotion. Helplessness, joy, fear, and utter happiness war inside me. Is this how my father felt at my birth? Like he would destroy anything that came between him and his child?

  Is this why he fought so fiercely to keep me away from the others?

  But…then why deliver Raahosh to them? For the first time, I truly understand Raahosh’s feelings of betrayal and hurt. I hold my son close to my breast and silently promise that I will do whatever it takes to ensure his happiness.

  Har-loh groans again, and when I look up, she’s lying back down on the furs. Maylak is calmly folding up the birthing fur into a bundle nearby. Har-loh smiles at me, tired and sweaty. “Can I see him? Is he healthy?”