Sarah waved good-night and wearily headed upstairs for her bed.
Some things aren’t fixable. Exhausted though her body was, her mind was awake, replaying the conversation with her aunt. How she wished that her aunt was right, but she alone knew how impossible it was to hope for a relationship with Josh.
“Mommy, can we go see the horses?” J.J. bounced eagerly in the passenger seat, twisting to look out the window toward the barn.
“Yes, but don’t go inside the corral,” Sarah cautioned.
The car had barely stopped moving before J.J. was tugging at his seat belt and pushing open the door. Caitlin was faster and-already out of the back seat, waiting impatiently by the car, when J.J. jumped out beside her.
“Dinner will be ready soon,” Sarah called after them across the roof of the car. “Don’t go farther than the barn.”
“We won’t,” they chorused as they raced off.
Sarah smiled with wry affection and reached back into the car for a bag of groceries. She shifted it onto her hip, slammed the car door and headed for the kitchen. Caitlin and J.J. were fascinated by the horses and the activity of the men at the barn and corrals. Each morning Sarah dropped the two at Molly’s house on her way to the hospital, and each afternoon when they returned to the Rocking D, the little boy and girl raced off to the barn. There they scrambled up the corral poles to perch on the top rail and watch the men and horses with wide-eyed fascination.
Molly’s right, she reflected as she climbed the porch steps. Both J.J. and Caitlin are having the time of their lives trailing after Oncle Wes at his ranch and watching Josh with the horses here.
Remaining in Butte Creek hadn’t been even a remote consideration when she left Great Falls, but she was forced to think about the possibility in light of Josh’s astounding interest in fatherhood. If blood tests proved that J.J. was his, she doubted that Josh would be satisfied to have his son living permanently across the width of the state. Nor could she see herself denying either J.J. or Josh the opportunity to spend as much time together as possible. How she was going to come to terms with her own feelings for Josh and deal with seeing him daily for J.J.’s sake was a question for which she had no answer.
Sarah sighed and dropped her purse, keys and the bag of groceries on the kitchen table. She took time to fill the kettle at the tap, set it on the stove and measure loose tea into the teapot before removing vegetables and salad greens from the bag. Alone in the kitchen, she browned pork chops, chopped salad ingredients and put broccoli on to steam. The familiar chores calmed her, distracting her troubled thoughts.
If Sarah had taken the time to look out her kitchen window at the corrals, she wouldn’t have been concentrating on dinner.
Inside the foreman’s house Rum surged to his feet expectantly when Josh finally hung up the phone and sighed with relief. The client on the other end of the line was ready, willing and able to pay top dollar for one of Baby’s colts, but the garrulous man had a tendency to keep Josh on the telephone far longer than necessary to conduct business.
Josh stood and stretched before bending to stroke the big dog’s head. “It’s a good thing you can’t talk, Rum, because I’ve had all the conversation I can stand for one day.”
Rum’s ears lifted at Josh’s words; his head cocked sideways, eyes bright with intelligence. The black Lab loped happily at Josh’s side when he shoved open the screen door and strode across the porch to return to the corrals, where he’d left Baby some forty minutes before.
J.J.’s excited shriek reached Josh’s ears before he descended the last porch step. He frowned, lengthening his stride.
What the hell are those kids up to?
He strode past the edge of the grove that blocked sight of the corral and broke into a run, swearing aloud. J.J. was perched atop the corral rails, but Caitlin was inside the fence with Baby. Worse yet, she was riding the big horse bareback, and each jolting step he took sent her slipping to one side.
Josh didn’t waste time opening the gate; he climbed the rails and vaulted over the top, dropping into the soft, powdery corral dust with a jolt he felt all the way up to his clenched jaw.
“Whoa, Baby,” he crooned, his soft voice belying the anger that tightened his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “Easy, boy, slow down.” The big horse slowed from the rough trot to a walk, coming to an abrupt halt that jolted Caitlin forward, a good six inches of daylight visible between her jeans-clad bottom and his glossy back before she dropped with a thud. Josh caught Baby’s mane with one hand.
“Get off him,” he growled.
Caitlin unwound her fingers from Baby’s rough mane and sat back, warily eyeing Josh.
“I didn’t hurt him,” she began. “I just…”
Josh didn’t have enough patience to listen to her denial. He reached up, wrapped one hand around her arm and in one swift motion pulled her off the horse’s back.
“Hey,” she said belligerently. “Let go of me! You son of a—You can’t…”
Baby shifted nervously, his eyes rolling as her voice rose in anger. Outside the corral, Rum’s deep-throated barks added to the noise, and the quarter horse sidestepped and tossed his head, nearly jerking away from Josh’s grip.
Josh released Baby’s mane and headed for the gate, dragging Caitlin with him.
“Damn you! Let go of me this minute!” Caitlin pried at his fingers with no success. His implacable grip on her arm was like iron and he ignored her protests and flailing arms, dragging her from the corral despite her refusal to cooperate. It wasn’t until the gate was closed and latched behind them that he released her and fixed her with an angry glare.
“What the hell were you doing on the back of that horse?” Josh demanded, his voice harsh with anger.
“I was riding him.” Caitlin fisted her hands at her sides and glared back at him. “So what?”
“He’s not your horse. Who gave you permission to ride him?”
“Nobody. I wanted to, so I did.”
Josh leaned over her until they were nearly noseto-nose. “You ever go near that horse again,” he began with restrained fury, “and you’ll be one sorry little girl.”
Caitlin’s face went pale beneath her tan. “Oh, yeah?” she said, her voice belligerent. “What are you going to do—hit me? Big deal. I’ve been hit before.”
Her words shocked Josh and with sudden clarity he saw the genuine fear that lay beneath the cocky facade. “I didn’t say I’d hit you,” he said with irritation, his anger defused. “But I’m likely to paddle your butt till you can’t sit down for a week.”
Her response was a string of swearwords that were so creative that Josh could only stare at her, speechless.
“You can’t hit her!” J.J. yelled. He let go of the post and scrambled down the corral rails to hurl himself at Josh. “Leave her alone!”
Inside the ranch house, Sarah stopped peeling vegetables at J.J.’s yell, and dropped the knife and potato into the sink to run for the front door. She reached the edge of her porch just in time to see Josh peel J.J. away from his leg and hold the squirming, shouting little boy at arm’s length. Caitlin stood to one side, waving her arms and yelling obscenities at the top of her lungs. Beside her, Josh’s big black Lab stood with tail erect, his deep, booming barks adding an underlying bass to the uproar.
Oh, no, Sarah groaned inwardly, running toward the corral. What have those two done now? “J.J.! Stop that this minute!”
Distracted by her voice, Josh shifted his attention from J.J.’s fierce attack to Sarah. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks flushed from running, her eyes bright with worry as she ran toward them.
J.J. chose that moment to take advantage of Josh’s lack of attention to land a glancing kick against his captor’s shin.
“Knock that off,” Josh said sternly, tightening his grip and shifting J.J. a little farther away.
“You can’t hit Caitlin! You leave her alone!”
J.J.’s defense of his cousin was fearless. Josh stared at the little boy;
there was something about the expression on his face and the set of J.J.’s jaw that strongly reminded Josh of his brother, Lucas. Despite the stinging pain in his shin, he was grudgingly forced to admit that he admired J.J.’s headlong launch into battle to defend Caitlin.
Breathless, Sarah reached the noisy group and grabbed J.J.’s arm, tugging him away from Josh. Caitlin abruptly snapped her mouth closed, cutting off a string of curse words in midsentence. The twelveyear-old eyed her aunt, her green eyes going from militant fury to dismay as she read her aunt’s expression.
Sarah’s hand closed more firmly over J.J.’s shoulder. “Stop squirming, J.J.” Her glance flicked over Caitlin’s guilty expression and J.J.’s obstinate little face before moving to Josh. “What did they do?”
J.J. burst into indignant speech before Josh could reply. “He was going to hit Caitlin!”
“Hush, J.J.,” Sarah said firmly.
“I wasn’t going to hit her,” Josh growled with irritation. “I told her I’d paddle her rear if I ever caught her riding Baby again.”
Sarah’s eyes rounded in shock; one glimpse of Caitlin’s guilty but still defiant expression confirmed his words. “Oh, no,” she groaned. “Caitlin, you didn’t! Whatever possessed you?”
“I only rode him around the corral,” she said defensively. “I wouldn’t have taken him outside the gate.”
“That’s not the point. Baby is a very valuable horse—not to mention the fact that stud horses are notoriously unpredictable. You could have been hurt. You don’t even know the basics of horseback riding.”
“But I’ll never learn if I don’t get on a horse,” she protested. “And besides, Baby is a pussycat. He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“He could have hurt you without meaning to,” Josh interjected. “You were slipping sideways on his back. Another few steps and he would have shaken you loose. You could have been stepped on—or worse.”.
“I thought you said he was as gentle as a baby. Isn’t that why you call him Baby?” Caitlin asked with suspicion.
“No, he’s called Baby because Lucas gave him that nickname when he was born and it stuck. We’ve called him that ever since. He has a long registered name, but Baby is all we ever use.”
“Oh.” Caitlin looked past Josh’s shoulder at the corral where the big horse stood watching them. Ears pricked forward with interest, he seemed docile and friendly. “He doesn’t look mean.”
“He isn’t mean,” Josh denied patiently. “But he’s a stud and, given the right circumstances, he can be unpredictable.”
Caitlin shoved her hands into her pockets, the soft curve of her mouth creating a disheartened, downward arc. “But he let me pet him, and he didn’t buck me off when I got on his back.” She glanced up at Josh through the thick tangle of her black lashes. “It was kinda scary when he started trotting, ’cause I thought I might bounce off, but before that, it was really fun.”
“Riding is fun, but you can’t just climb on a horse like Baby and ride him. You have to learn how to ride first, preferably on an older, gentler horse.”
J.J.’s expression brightened at Josh’s words. “You can teach us! Then when we learn how, we can ride Baby!”
“No, you can’t ride Baby,” Josh said impatiently, frowning at J.J. “He’s not a saddle horse.”
“But you have other horses,” Caitlin interjected. “Isn’t one of them a saddle horse that’s old and gentle enough for us to ride?”
Josh narrowed his eyes over her hopeful face. Beside her, JJ.’s small features held the same expectant, barely restrained eagerness.
“What if I did have such a horse,” he said slowly. “And what if I agreed to teach you. What will you swap me for lessons?”
Caitlin looked down at J.J.; J.J. looked up at Caitlin. Twin little frowns of worry drew down their brows and they looked back at Josh.
“We could work for you,” Caitlin offered.
“Yeah.” Beside her, J.J.’s head nodded with vigorous agreement. “We could do stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” Josh asked.
“We could do chores—like Trey does,” Caitlin said promptly.
“You’re willing to shovel manure?”
Caitlin’s instant grimace of distaste brought a smile, quickly hidden, to Sarah’s lips.
“I guess so.” She shot him a challenging glance from beneath her lashes. “Are you willing to give us lessons?”
Josh hid a smile of his own. Caitlin was prickly and defensive, but even at twelve, she displayed unconsciously feminine gestures that left no doubt that she was going to be a heartbreaker someday.
“I might be,” he conceded. “How about you, J.J.? Are you willing to shovel manure or do some other chore that needs to be done around here in return for riding lessons?”
“Yup.” The little boy nodded solemnly and drew an X across his chest with a stubby forefinger. “I promise.”
“All right” Josh nodded his head abruptly. “But in addition to doing chores, there are two rules that you have to obey. Without question.” He fixed the two with a stern gaze. “Neither of you go near Baby or the broodmares.”
“We won’t,” the two chorused fervently, interrupting him. “We promise!”
“And secondly,” he continued, switching his stare to Caitlin, “you have to stop swearing.”
“Why?” Caitlin’s hackles rose instantly. “I don’t talk any different than any of the rest of my friends in L.A.”
“I don’t care how your friends talk in L.A.,” Josh said bluntly. “You’re in Montana now, and young ladies in Butte Creek don’t use a curse word every two seconds. At least, not when I’m around. You know words that no twelveyear-old girl should ever have heard—let alone repeated.”
Caitlin’s features held stubborn rebellion; Josh thought she was going to refuse, but then she flicked a quick glance at Sarah and her face fell. Her green eyes were filled with reluctant contrition and an underlying, barely concealed misery when her gaze returned to Josh.
“I’ll try, really I will,” she agreed. “I already promised Aunt Sarah that I’d try not to swear so much, but it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
“Hmm,” Josh folded his arms across his chest. “Maybe while you’re breaking the habit, we can compromise.” He pulled a half-dozen metal washers from his pocket. “Hold out your hand.” She complied and he dropped the washers into her palm. “There’s an empty mason jar sitting on a shelf just inside the barn. Each time I hear you swear, you have to put a washer in the jar. For each washer in the jar, you owe me an extra chore—my choice.”
Caitlin eyed the washers, her gaze flicking from the shiny metal circles to Josh and back again before she nodded. “All right. It’s a deal.”
She held out her hand and he took it, her small hand disappearing inside his callused palm.
“I want some, too.” J.J. held out his two hands, palms cupped.
Josh shoved his hat back on his head and eyed the determined little boy. “Are you swearing, JJ.?”
“Yup.”
“J.J.!”
His mother’s dismayed tone brought a guilty expression to his face. His small shoulders lifted in a shrug of apology. “Just sometimes, Mommy,” he said, sending her an angelic grin before he looked back up at Josh. “But I might need some washers to put in the jar just in case I say a bad word.”
“All right.” Josh fought back a grin and shoved a hand in his jeans pocket for three washers. “There you go.”
Sarah watched J.J.’s hand close into a fist over the shiny metal. She had mixed feelings about the bargain Josh had struck with the children. She was torn between wanting to keep J.J. away from Josh, and guilt that if J.J. was Josh’s son, she had already deprived Josh of his company for four long years.
She also felt responsible for Caitlin and J.J. misbehaving. Josh is being more than understanding, she realized with sudden insight. His handling of the two demonstrated a knowledge of children and a care for their safety and feelings that w
as almost fatherly.
She instantly rejected the idea. She didn’t want to accept and believe that she’d been wrong about Josh. That he not only might have wanted to claim J.J. at birth, but that he had an instinctive, natural way with children.
He looked up from J.J.’s enthusiastic counting of the metal washers and caught her glance.
The banked anger that flared in those blue depths took her breath. He’s still furious at me, she realized, her heart sinking. He looked away from her and back at J.J., leaving Sarah’s heart beating double time, her breathing ragged.
“I can give them lessons,” she offered.
Three pairs of eyes suddenly focused on her.
“No! I want Josh to teach me!” J.J. instantly argued, swiftly aligning himself with his new hero.
Caitlin, too, took a step closer to Josh.
“Josh is a very busy man, J.J.,” Sarah began, sighing inwardly at the stubborn set of her son’s jaw.
“I’ll make time,” Josh interjected. The swift surge of emotion he’d felt when J.J. had stepped beside him and hooked an arm around his leg stunned him. He glanced down at the little boy; all he could see was the crown of his head, but the tight grip J.J. had on his knee left no doubt that the kid wasn’t giving in. J.J.’s sturdy little body was plastered along the length of his leg and Josh knew a fierce pride that the boy had chosen to stand with him.
Sarah’s gaze rose from J.J. to Josh; the implacable set of their jaws was uncannily similar, and for a moment she stared, jolted by the resemblance. Even then, she would have argued further, but the brief flash of dark emotion in Josh’s eyes silenced her protest.
“All right,” she said quietly. “But now, I think we’ve taken up enough of your time this afternoon.” She held out her hand and J.J. reluctantly stepped toward her.
“Do you want us to shovel manure this afternoon?” Caitlin asked.
Josh dragged his gaze away from Sarah and looked down at the girl. “No, tomorrow will be soon enough.”
“All right. We’ll be here as soon as Aunt Sarah gets home from the hospital,” she promised with businesslike briskness.
“Until then, you two come back to the house and let Josh get on with his work.” Sarah tugged on J.J.’s hand. “Bye.” She gave Josh a small, perfunctory smile. J.J. dragged his feet at first and trailed à step behind her, gazing back over his shoulder at Josh as they walked away. Caitlin trotted after them until she caught up with Sarah, then she slowed to keep pace with her aunt.
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