Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Henry…?” I was breathless.

  “Yes, love?” He kissed my chest and unhooked my bra.

  “They won’t hear us?”

  “Not if you can be quiet.” I pulled off his t-shirt and admired the beautiful man standing before me. I ran my hands down his shoulders, over his arms. For the first time, I noticed he had a nasty scar on the underside of his forearm. I moved to his chest, which also had a few scars on it above his heart, and headed south for his belt buckle.

  “You look amazing,” I whispered while admiring his well-toned physique.

  “As do you.” I always blushed when he complimented me. “Let’s try something different. Can I take you from behind?” I nodded. “Good. I have been dying to take you that way.”

  There was always a first time for everything. I was nervous about it, but I would have done anything he asked. I’d run naked through the streets of New York if he wanted me to, as long as I knew he would be mine forever.

  He yanked off the rest of my clothes and groaned while looking at me. When looking was no longer enough, he began rubbing my back and my ass with his icy hands. His touch sent a shiver up my spine. He twisted me around, and I heard him drop his pants. A ripple of excitement ran through my body.

  With a rough hand, he pushed me down on his desk, twisted my long black hair in his fist and pulled back on it. I winced, but I liked it more than I should have. After he forcefully pushed my legs apart with his muscular thigh, he leaned over my back and rasped in my ear. “You ready for me, my love?” The coolness of his breath and the grit in his voice tickled my ear.

  “Yes, please,” I moaned as his fingers dipped into me.

  “You good with a little roughness?”

  “Yes,” I moaned again, while he explored my core with his fingers. He let go of my hair and pulled out his fingers. Then I felt him wrap his large hands around my hips and slam his thickness into me. I almost cried out, but I bit my lip to ensure that I would be quiet. It was torture not being able to scream, and it made the sex that much more exhilarating.

  I white knuckled the edge of his desk while he pounded into me. I heard his breathing become a little ragged, which was so ridiculously sexy. I was enjoying the whole rough make-up sex thing.

  “Fuck,” he growled. He pulled out and I protested. “Turn around,” he commanded in a rough voice. I did as I was told and he picked me up. “Wrap your legs around me.” Yes, sir. Anything you say, sir.

  He turned and pushed me up against the wall. Then he let me slide down enough for him to slam himself into me again. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He was grunting into my neck. I felt myself readying for release as my body trembled.

  He looked up at me and pressed his forehead against mine. “Shhh, love. I know you want to scream.” I threw my head back and bit my lip to keep myself from screaming as my core pulsated furiously around his rock hard, veiny thickness.

  “Mmm… You’re so wet now.” He used it to his advantage and dug his fingers into my ass and pounded himself into me at a feverish pace. He groaned quietly into my neck. “Oh, god, love. You feel so fucking good,” he moaned.

  His body stopped for a second, and I worried momentarily. I grabbed his face. I could only see the whites of his eyes and his mouth hung open. I let go of his face, and his head fell into my neck. His body shuddered as he exhaled. He spent the better part of a minute trying to catch his breath with his face tucked into the crook of my neck.

  Then it hit me… no condom. I tapped him on the shoulder.

  “Hmm…,” he groaned.

  “You didn’t have one on, did you?”

  “Have what…?” He looked up at me, confused for a moment. Then he realized what I meant. “Shit. Sorry. I got carried away.” He pulled out, and it was like he uncorked me. He pulled on his boxers, before grabbing tissue from the bathroom. He turned away from me to dress, and I saw that I had scratched the shit out of his shoulders and back. Oops. He may want to keep his shirt on at the gym for a while. I was freaked out about the no birth control thing, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

  Once we were back to normal, and not looking like he just fucked my brains out, he walked me back to the front of the office.

  “Dinner and a movie tonight?” He tucked my hair behind my ear.

  “Only if you take me to that chick flick that I want to see.” I batted my eyelashes at him. He moaned and smirked. “Can I pick you up at your place?”

  “Yeah.” He hesitated, but then he added, “It’s number three-oh-five. I’ll let the doorman know that you will be coming; otherwise, he won’t let you up. Also, I’ll text you the movie times and you let me know where you want to go for dinner.”

  “Sounds good.” He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. As I left the office, I looked back and he was watching every step I took, smirking. I wondered if everyone knew what we had just done. I winked at him, and left the facility.

  Chapter 10

  -November 2014-

  H

  enry sat on the floor next to the door in the guest room, working hard to control the sobs that were coming out of him. He rolled Elaina’s ring in his hand. Losing her would kill him. He couldn’t go on without her. He thought about the first time they broke up and how mental he went, and that was only for twenty-four hours.

  He remembered how they fought over not allowing her into his apartment. He just wanted to protect her. All he was concerned about was her safety.

  -February 2013-

  After he left her at her apartment door, Henry bolted down the stairs and yanked open the stairwell door. He pushed through the crowd of people lingering in the lobby, their stares burning through him. He pushed through the front doors and, lucky enough, his truck was still there because he had left it running. Although, at the moment, he didn’t give two shits if someone stole it.

  Henry jumped in and slammed the door. After pounding his fist down on the steering wheel a few times, he threw it into drive and sped off, weaving in and out of traffic. People honked at him, flipped him off, and yelled obscenities at him. He didn’t care.

  He flew into the blood bank’s parking lot, then stormed through the doors. Steve, one of the phlebotomists, was leaning against the reception desk, chatting and flirting with Jennifer, as usual.

  “Running a little late this morning, bossman?”

  “Fuck off, Steve.” Henry stormed past them.

  Steve looked at Jennifer and shrugged. “I wonder what his problem is.”

  “Yeah, he’s never like that. Something is up.” They heard his office door slam.

  “I’m going to call back and check on him.” Jennifer picked up the phone and it rang about five times before he picked up.

  “What!” he yelled into the phone.

  “Hey, bossman,” she said in her normal singsong voice, as if he didn’t just tear her head off. “Just checking up on you. Is everything alright?”

  “No. Just leave me be for a while, please. If I get any calls, take a message.” He slammed the phone down.

  Jennifer pursed her lips at Steve. “I have a feeling I know what the problem is.”

  “Yeah? Glad you do. I’m fucking clueless.”

  “Most men are.” Steve let out a sarcastic chuckle.

  ***

  Henry sat at his desk with his head in his hands. He felt an unfamiliar lump rising in his throat. He realized how bad he had it for Elaina because he had never cried over a woman before.

  “Shit,” he moaned as he opened the locked drawer in his desk and looked down. There was one of his many Sig Sauers. He ran his fingers over the cold steel. Then he pulled out the bottle of Walkers. He slowly twisted off the cap and tipped it back. After a long pull, he put it away and headed for his bathroom.

  Henry wanted to get rid of any evidence that he had been crying. He splashed some cold water on his face. Then, he looked into the mirror and saw that his eyes were graying.

  “Fuck me.” He left the bathroom and locked his o
ffice door. He went to his mini-fridge, which was padlocked, as usual. After putting in the combination, he opened the door and pulled out a couple vials of blood. He sat back down at his desk and shook them. After popping off the caps, he tipped them back.

  A shudder ran through his body. He hated the blood cold. He always liked it straight from the vein because that’s when he would get his high. For some reason, he never felt as good after cold blood. He would just get a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

  He loved making love to Elaina after he had a fresh intake. Sex was ten times better after it and they would go at it several times throughout the night, into the morning. The thought ran across his mind that he may never get to make love to her again. It would only be “fucking” with anyone else, like it had been before…if he could even bring himself to fuck someone. Panic hit him. He felt himself starting to cry again.

  “Fuck me,” he mumbled again as he wiped his tears away.

  Henry grabbed his phone out of his pocket and called Sophie, the only person he could talk to about all of his fucked up bullshit. He hoped she was available.

  It took a second for the call to go through, since he was calling England, but it finally rang a couple times.

  “Liam!”

  “Sophie…don’t.” He sat with his head in his free hand, leaning on his desk.

  “Sorry. How’ve you been, Henry?”

  “I need to talk to someone.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Remember how I told you about Elaina?” He swallowed hard.

  “Yeah.”

  “We had a huge fight.” He swallowed hard, trying to hold back his emotions. “Sophie, I’m dying here. I’ve never felt like this before. My chest… It hurts like a motherfucker. When I got back to my office, I fucking cried. I still am.” Just as he said that, more tears fell from his eyes and landed on the desk calendar.

  His eyes darted around the calendar, and he saw where he scribbled her name and put a heart next to it. He did that just a couple days prior when they chatted on the phone before he left work. He rubbed his thumb over her name.

  “Oh, shit. You’ve got it bad, haven’t you?” She hadn’t realized until then how Henry felt about Elaina. She knew he had feelings for her, but didn’t realize how deep they went.

  “I love her so fucking much. I don’t know what to do.” He wiped his face again.

  “What happened?” She was concerned for him because he sounded lost and defeated.

  “She thinks I’m cheating on her because I won’t let her go to my flat.” He felt a sob trying to escape. “I would never cheat on her.”

  “Never stopped you before,” she said with bitterness. Sophie thought they were still together when Henry moved to the states. He had moved on and had some fun before he met Elaina, but he never officially told her that they were done. Sophie still held on to hope that they would be together again. She would do anything to get him back, but she couldn’t bear to hear him in agony.

  “Sophie, don’t. I’m dying here. Help me.”

  “Have you apologized?”

  “Not really. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “In her mind, you have.”

  “But…”

  “Don’t try to figure it out. It’s not worth the brain cramp. Send her flowers. But actually go pick them out, and have them attach a handwritten note telling her how you feel.”

  “Do you think that will work?” He had a flicker of hope.

  “I don’t know, but it’s a start.” He was quiet for a minute, trying to hide that he was still crying. “Henry…listen to me. You are an amazing man. If she doesn’t take you back then she’s stupid.”

  “God, I hope she does. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s tearing me up.”

  “How’s everything else going?”

  Henry sat up straight. “It’s not.”

  “What do you mean?” Her voice was overly cautious.

  “I can’t do it. I can’t.”

  “Henry…”

  “I can’t. It’s wrong on so many levels.”

  “But he will hunt you down. You know that.”

  “I don’t fucking care. He could skin me alive for all I care. All I want is to be with Elaina and protect her from everything. I can’t do it.”

  “He’s been ranting over you not reporting back to him. He and Kellan were debating on what to do. I overheard them while he was making me wait for him outside his office door.”

  “Fuck them.”

  “Henry…” She was scared for his life. Someone knocked on his office door.

  “I’ve got to run, Sophie.” He hung up the phone and took a deep breath. They knocked again.

  “Coming.” He got up, opened the door, and Jennifer was standing there with a caring look on her face.

  “You look like hell. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “No, I’m not actually.” He looked past her so he didn’t have to look into her eyes.

  “You want to talk about it?” She was genuinely concerned about his welfare.

  “No, not really. It’s personal.” He looked down at his shoes.

  “Alright. Well, Sandy is heading out to get coffee. You want anything?”

  “Yeah, I could go for a cup. Black.”

  “I will get it to you as soon as she comes back.” She started to walk away, but turned around. “For what it’s worth, you are amazing. She would be foolish if she walked away. Flowers do wonders.” His eyes flooded with tears again. She smiled sympathetically at him.

  “Thanks,” he croaked out, and closed the door. Henry wondered how she figured out that he was having woman troubles.

  ***

  Jennifer rushed back out to the reception desk. Steve and Sandy were standing there, waiting for her to come back with some information.

  “Wow…” Jennifer shook her head.

  “Well, what’s going on?” Steve leaned against the desk.

  “Well…it’s definitely woman troubles. After I asked him about coffee, I told him to send her flowers and the poor guy… He started crying.” Steve’s jaw dropped.

  “That’s not like him at all,” Sandy murmured.

  “I know. He usually keeps his emotions under control. He must really be in love with her. Anyway, don’t say anything to him. I’m sure he is embarrassed about it, or else he wouldn’t be hiding in his office.” She looked at Sandy. “Oh, and he wants a black coffee.” Sandy nodded and headed out the front entrance.

  ***

  Henry sat down at his desk and pulled out a notepad and pen. His sigh was riddled with sadness. He had no idea what to write. He had never written an ‘I love you, I’m so sorry, I’m an asshole’ note before. He grabbed his bottle of Walkers and took another long pull from it. His eyes flickered to his Sig again.

  After several attempts, and a few interruptions from his staff, he finally accomplished writing his first love apology note. He tucked it in an envelope and sealed it, writing ‘My Elaina’ on the front.

  He walked out to the front of the building and stopped at Jennifer’s desk. “I’ve got to run an errand. I should be back in about an hour or so.”

  “Alright, bossman. You want me to forward your calls?”

  “My office voicemail.”

  “You doing all right?”

  “Hopefully after this errand is completed…” He flashed the envelope at her.Jennifer smiled at him, knowing what he was going to do after she saw who it was addressed to. “See you in a bit, then.” He nodded and walked out.

  Henry hopped into his truck and drove to the best florist in town. He only knew that was the case because Elaina pointed it out one day when they went to her cousin’s wedding at the church across the street. He walked into the store and immediately looked lost.

  Everything was overwhelming him: the colors, the scent of the flowers, his nervousness. He walked past the coolers a few times, chewing at the scar on his bottom lip, clutching the note he wrote. He ran his hand through his hair severa
l times.

  “Can I help you?” An older woman came around the counter. She had a soft smile and a comforting feel about her.

  “Uh, yeah. I need help…a lot of help.” Wasn’t that the truth? He knew he looked sad and pathetic while he scanned all the flowers and arrangements.

  “Well, what are you looking for?”

  “Flowers.” The woman chuckled. He turned and looked at her, trying to plaster on a fake smile.

  “Well, I do believe that you’ve come to the right place.”

  “Looks that way.” His nerves were still out of control, and he continued to push his hand through his hair. The woman knew the frustrated look right away.

  “Did you have a fight with your wife or girlfriend?”

  “Uh, yeah. Girlfriend.” He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. His fears were coming to the surface again.

  “Roses are always good.” Henry opened his eyes. He felt a little panicked. He had no idea what kind of flowers Elaina liked, and worried that he was going to buy the wrong ones. “Does she like roses?”

  “You know…I haven’t a clue. I’ve never given her flowers before.”

  She looked at him like he had two heads. Then she rubbed his arm. “Don’t worry. I will make you something beautiful and she will love it. Hmmm.” She tapped her forefinger on her lips while scanning the coolers. Then she looked back at him. “What are you looking to spend?”

  “The cost doesn’t matter. Unlimited. I want something big that makes a statement, though.” She turned back to the coolers and scanned them once more.

  She started pulling bunches of red roses and pink lilies out. She walked over to the counter and began to show him all the vases she could use. He picked out a tall, wide cylinder-shaped vase. He hoped Elaina would like it, and that it would work.

  “I will make it up, and set it in the cooler until morning. With delivery, it comes to two seventy-five.” Henry pulled out the pretty black ‘invite-only’ credit card from his black leather billfold. She looked at it for a moment. She didn’t see those too often.