Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  Once he cleaned up, he got out of the shower and brushed his teeth. He thought about shaving, but didn’t feel like it. He dressed in a button-down, checked Burberry shirt and a pair of dark, distressed, straight leg True Religion jeans. He quickly slipped on his Varvatos dark gray Schooners, checked his mug in the mirror, adjusting his purposely messy hair. He stared at himself in disgust for a few seconds, then stormed out of his room.

  While he drove through the streets like a maniac, Henry hoped the flowers were delivered and the letter would work. A song from Bruno Mars started to play on the radio.

  “Fuck me.” He shut it off. He knew any song would remind him of Elaina. He was feeling self-conscious of the letter he wrote. It wasn’t worthy of his Elaina. A letter from the queen, herself, wouldn’t be worthy of his Elaina. She was more to him than what he had written, but he had no idea how to put it on paper.

  He walked through the doors of the blood bank and saw that there were several people already waiting. He cringed, knowing he was going to have to exchange pleasantries with them, and he was not in the mood to do that. He stopped at Jennifer’s desk.

  “You look like shit. How are you this morning?”

  “Thanks. Slightly hung over and worried out of my mind.” Henry leaned against the desk. “I drank myself into oblivion at Cam’s last night.” He paused for a moment, then looked her in the eyes. “Jennifer, I might snap if the flowers don’t work.”

  “I guess you’ll find out. She’s a lucky woman. I hope she realizes that, but I do have a good feeling that she will come back.” He gave her a sad smile. He wasn’t going to hold his breath waiting for Elaina, though, because he wasn’t expecting the flowers to work.

  “Any calls?”

  “Actually, not yet. But we could use some help. Steve is backed up already, and Sandy is off today.” She waved her hand toward the seating area. He cranked his head around and looked at the people waiting.

  “Right. Let him know I’ll be right there.”

  He walked back to his office, dropped his laptop case on his desk, and grabbed his lab coat off the back of the bathroom door. He walked around the back, through the lab area and toward the draw room. He went straight to the sink and washed up.

  “I know you’re busy, bossman, but we’re backed up.”

  “Yeah. I’m on it.” Henry sighed. “Uh, listen, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I’m dealing with some personal shit. I shouldn’t let it affect me here.”

  “That’s alright. We all get a little jacked-up once in a while. Don’t sweat it.” Henry smirked. “Anyway, that’s the pile of the ones waiting.” Steve pointed to the charts.

  Henry grabbed the one on top, and headed out to the waiting room. He called out the first name on the chart and a middle-aged, well-dressed woman sauntered her way toward him. Shit, here we go again, he thought. For some reason, women always threw themselves at him. He never understood it.

  “Well, hello, Mr. Phlebotomist,” she purred. “I think I’m going to come here more often,” she said, as she looked him up and down. Henry’s face was blank when he looked at her.

  “Name and birth date.” He had no emotion in his voice. She looked at his left hand for any signs of a ring.

  “Dina Emerson, and you know it’s not polite to ask a lady’s age.”

  His first thought? Cougar.

  “Ms. Emerson, I need your birth date to verify that I have the correct chart.” He was all business.

  “Oh, fine. 7/12/60.”

  “Thank you. Follow me.” He shuddered. He could feel her eyes working their way up and down his backside.

  “You know…that lab coat does nothing for you.” And there it was.

  “Exactly why I wear it, Ms. Emerson.” They walked into the draw room, and Henry pointed to the chair that was waiting for her. “Have a seat there, please, and remove your jacket.” He was annoyed. He didn’t want someone old enough to be his mom trying to flirt with him, especially when he only had eyes for Elaina.

  He walked over to the supply cabinets and accidentally hit an open container of iodine. It fell over, spilling all over his coat. “Shit.” He was gripping on to the side of the sink, feeling like he was close to putting his fist through the wall.

  “Whoa, there. Here.” Steve handed him a bunch of paper towels. “You alright, bossman?” He could see the steam rolling out of Henry’s ears. He took a few deep breaths.

  “Yeah. Sorry. I’m just stressed beyond belief.” He peeled off the lab coat, realizing the iodine had drenched his shirt, too. He groaned.

  “You have a change of clothes in your office? If not, I have an extra set of scrubs in mine.”

  Henry let out a loud breath, and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I think so. I think I have a t-shirt, at the very least. I’ll be right back.” He ran out of the draw room, back to his office.

  He ran into his bathroom, and pulled the white t-shirt off the back of the door. He realized it was just a white fitted undershirt. “Christ,” he said in a whiny voice. There was nothing else he could do. His shirt was stained and stunk like iodine. After changing, he went back to the draw room, pulling out everything he needed to do a draw on the Cougar.

  “Damn, bossman. I see you’re still spending all of your free time at the gym.”

  “Yeah, and maybe more if Elaina doesn’t take me back.”

  “Ohhhh, I see. That bad?”

  “I don’t know. I sent her flowers. It’s going to eat me alive until I get a response from her. If I get a response from her,” he mumbled. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He looked at the number, hoping it was Elaina, but it was Roger. He felt like he was punched in the chest. He groaned again. He hit the IGNORE button, and went over to the Cougar. It was starting off to be a shitastic day.

  “Wow.” She quirked a brow at him. “Looks like you took my advice.” Henry sighed while she tried to make herself look seductive.

  “I spilled some iodine on my coat and shirt.”

  “Flustered?” She adjusted her button-down top a little to show her cleavage.

  “Nope,” he lied, but he felt he needed to shut her down.

  “Oh.”

  Henry put the supplies down on the table, and sat down on the swivel stool. He turned away from the Cougar to put on gloves, and opened the packages.

  “Wow. That’s a nice tattoo.”

  “Huh?”

  “Your tattoo. It looks nice, from what I can see.” He looked down at his shirt and remembered what he had on.

  “Right. Thanks.” He began hooking up the machine. “Ms. Emerson, are you ready?”

  “Yes. This isn’t my first rodeo.” Henry hooked her up, and had the machine running in record time. His skin was crawling, knowing that the Cougar was eyeing him like a piece of meat.

  He stepped around the curtain while peeling off his gloves. Elaina? He felt her. He looked up, and there she was, standing in the doorway, looking like a wreck. She looked just like he felt. He didn’t spare another second and ran to her.

  -November 2014-

  The door opened to the guest room. He looked up, hoping that it was Elaina. The sobs tore from his throat when he saw that it was Sophie.

  She sat down on the floor next to Henry and tried to comfort him. He was holding Elaina’s ring between his fingers and he was destroyed, thinking he had lost the love of his life. Sophie held him, while the endless sobbing tore through his body.

  “Shhh...it’s going to be alright. I’m here for you.” She inwardly smiled. She hoped Henry would fall back into her arms. Then she could take him back to the program as originally planned.

  “I can’t live without her.”

  “Yes, you can. You will be able to move forward.”

  “I can’t, Sophie. I fucking can’t! I’m lost without her.” He pulled away from her. “She’s the only thing that makes me feel good.” His voice was riddled with sobs. “And I couldn’t deal with seeing her move on. I can’t fucking do this!” He sat with his he
ad in his hands. His heart ached for Elaina. He felt alone and confused without her by his side. If she moved on without him, he would surely pull the trigger.

  Sophie moved away from him to let him be for a few minutes so he could try to collect himself. His sobs jarred his body. Eventually, the tears stopped flowing, but his breathing was still staggered, making his body shake. She sat down beside him again, and tried to talk to him. “Well, what do we do now?” She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair.

  “I don’t know. She does deserve to know the truth about us. At least about me.”

  “She does, but we can’t. You know that. It will compromise everything.”

  Henry shoved her hands away from him. “I don’t give a shit about compromising anything! The only fucking thing I care about is her!” He shouted at Sophie. “You know that I’m no longer continuing with the program. At this point, it’s all about survival.” His eyes began swimming again. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep his tears in his eyes, but his efforts were unsuccessful. “I cannot lose her. She’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this whole fucked up life of mine.” Henry jumped up and punched a hole in the wall. He yelled, “Damn you, Roger!”

  Sophie jumped up. She grabbed him by the arm and tugged him over toward the bed. He sat down and put his face in his hands again. Sophie sat down and held him, while she gently stroked his hair as he cried some more.

  “I know, Henry. I don’t want you to lose her, either. She’s a piece of work sometimes, but I do know you love her. As long as you have love, there’s hope.”

  “Hope?” Henry threw his arms up in the air and hysterically laughed. “Hope? In this fucked up mess?” He shook his head. “I’m trying to hang on to hope, but it’s dwindling.”

  “I know.”

  Sophie laid Henry back on the bed so they were facing each other. She held him for a few minutes, much like she used to when he was so injured from a beating that he couldn’t move. She stroked his hair, touched his face, and ran her fingers up and down his arm until he settled down enough to talk in a calmer manner.

  “I’m going to need to go back out soon. I wasn’t able to get my fix, and I’m feeling it.” Just then, he noticed her eyes were graying. He was too busy trying to hold himself together and worrying about how to get Elaina back to notice Sophie’s problems.

  “What happened, anyway? How did Jacob get you?”

  “He took me by surprise. I saw him come out of the building. I hid so I could sneak up on him. I figured I would cold cock him from behind, or just cut off his air supply to make him pass out, and then do a quick draw. I tried to reach into my vest for my needle to be ready. Believe it or not, the zipper was stuck and I couldn’t reach down far enough to grab it. I lost track of him. He came from behind, put me in a headlock, and covered my mouth with his hand. I raised my leg to kick him in the bollocks with my heel, but he grabbed my Sig out of the back of my pants.”

  “Jesus, Sophie,” Henry murmured.

  “He jammed the Sig up against my head and dragged me to the café. I couldn’t let him give me a true death and then go after you two. He would have taken you by surprise, and things would have been way worse than they actually were.”

  “Right.”

  “I knew you would be heading to the café soon so I decided to stay in check. And that’s when you walked in. It happened so fast.” They both laid there, staring at one another.

  “I assume you were able to get a decent fix, hence all the blood on your face earlier? You were so angry beforehand about Nate not complying, I figured you were past ready.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I did. I think I’ll always have issues staying in check when I’m hanging by a thread.”

  “As always.” Henry rolled on his back and was rubbing his face with his hands, trying to figure out how to get Elaina back. Then Sophie asked, “Do you think this has spread down the coast?”

  “By now, I think it’s more than a safe assumption to say that it has spread across the country. Obviously, we don’t have the ability to contact Gunther or anyone else. I wonder how he is faring, the asshole. I hope we can find him.” There was some disdain in his voice.

  “I don’t know, but we need to get out of here. We have only secured a few spots around us. Roger will be pissed.” She realized what she had said the moment she said it.

  “Fuck him!” Henry snapped. “I don’t give two bloody fucks what he thinks.”

  “I didn’t mean that.” Sophie recoiled. “I’m still in program mode, I guess.”

  “We’re doing what we can with what we have. I should have never rescued Nate and Nick, but I felt horrible for Elaina and Claire. It tore me apart, seeing the pain they were in. I wish I could have just come back, grabbed my supplies, and then took off with them.”

  “I understand. This is why we cannot get invested in people. They will be with us one minute, and the next, they will be trying to put a bullet in our heads. It will compromise us. We cannot afford to be taken by surprise by a group of undeads.” Sophie stood up and headed for the door. She looked back at him.

  His sorrow-filled face made her heart ache. She wanted to get him back and make him feel loved again, but she knew he would refuse her advances. She still held onto some hope that he would run back to her at some point.

  “Are you heading out now?” His voice cracked.

  “Yeah, I have to. We can’t trust the blood bank now, can we?”

  “No. Definitely not. I wasn’t there for the week prior to my wed...” He stopped himself. “Besides, the power has been out for an extended period of time. Any blood would have gone bad.”

  “I was hoping to get there and check it out. There must be backup generators.”

  “There are, but it’s simply not a good idea. We don’t know if they’re working, or if they held up the coolers. I had electrical issues. I was prepping for a major overhaul to the circuitry on the back end for all the coolers. And besides, we don’t know what’s lurking behind the doors.” He knew there was no stopping her once she made up her mind, much like himself.

  “Tell me how to get there and give me a quick layout. I want to check it out anyway.” Henry let out a heavy sigh. Then he reluctantly gave her directions, and how to navigate through the blood bank.

  “Please take Nick and Nate with you. I don’t want you going on your own.” Sophie acknowledged his request and walked out, leaving him to deal with his sorrow on his own.

  Chapter 11

  S

  ophie went out to the living room, where Nick and Nate sat quietly staring at each other. Nick’s jaw was clenched, and he cracked his knuckles as he stood up, anger written all over his body. He was ready to beat Henry down if need be. “What the hell is going on?!” he barked at her.

  Sophie sighed. “Oh, you know, dealing with love in this crazy, mixed up world.” Nick narrowed his eyes at her. That stung, considering he lost the love of his life.

  “Seriously. What the fuck is going on? That’s my baby sister. And if he did anything…”

  “Ugh, not you, too. Elaina is just having a hard time dealing with everything.”

  “Right.” He was skeptical. He was worried when he heard her yelling, but he figured it was some sort of quarrel between her and Henry. Unless he knew Elaina was in harm’s way, he wasn’t going to interfere, but hearing her so upset made him irate.

  “You are much like your sister, aren’t you?”

  “You should have known their mother. Mega-controlling bitch,” Nate said with annoyance.

  Nick snapped his head around and his lip curled up in a snarl. “Fuck you!” Nick jumped toward Nate and grabbed him, picking him up by the throat. “You little pissant!”

  “Ladies, ladies, ladies…” Sophie stood right where she was with her hands on her hips, watching Nick choking the little bastard. “Let’s calm down a bit, shall we?” Nick glowered at her and let go of him. Nate fell to the floor, coughing and rubbing his throat. “I need both of you to come with me
.”

  “Where?” Nick and Nate said in unison.

  “Where do you think?”

  “Now is not the time for your psychotic games!” Nick yelled.

  “Oh my, did I hurt your feelings some?” No response. “Good. Get a couple of packs. We’re going out.” Nate didn’t argue. He got up, still coughing from Nick’s hands being wrapped around his neck. They both grabbed the packs off the table, and checked them and the weapons in silence. Sophie put her pack on.

  “Okay, boys, off we go.” She headed toward the door and stopped. She started rubbing her temples.

  “Are you alright?” Nick seemed genuinely concerned. She irritated him to no end because of her run-ins with Elaina, but she had come through when they had needed her, too.

  She shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little headache.”

  “Well, let me say goodbye to Elaina…just in case.” Nick headed down the hall. Nate headed to the door behind Sophie.

  “That might not be a good idea. You know she will argue and come up with something like it’s too late, or you need rest, or whatever other shit flies out of her mouth.” Sophie needed to get the hell out of there, and she knew if Nick found out about Elaina’s and Henry’s argument, there would be no hope of leaving anytime during the next century.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Nick’s shoulders sagged as he walked back toward the door. Once again, he felt like Elaina didn’t need him anymore.

  “We’re taking the truck. It’ll be better at night. Plus, we can take out some undeads with it.” Sophie chuckled like it was going to be a good time. Nick and Nate just looked at each other.

  “You are one fucked up person,” Nick muttered.

  “Why, thank you for acknowledging my rather fantastic personality.” She curtsied, flashed that big, toothy grin, and they headed out. If she wasn’t a woman, Nick would have punched her.

  ***

  “What are we going to do, Claire?” I was still burying my face into Henry’s pillow. I was inhaling his scent like an obsessed teen. He smelled so good. Just one more thing that I would miss out of the thousands of things that I loved about him. “I’m so confused. I can’t handle any more of this.”