Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “No,” Sophie growled. “I wish he would so I could kill the bastard.” Sounded to me that we thought alike at times.

  “Tell us how you really feel,” mumbled Nick.

  “Believe me, you wouldn’t want to hear all of that. I’m relatively sure it would scare the shit out of you if you knew the thoughts that swirled around in my mind.”

  “Yeah. Well, can you keep an eye on him,” he nodded at Kellan, “while I get Elaina inside? Wait a sec…” Kellan had started moving around more.

  Nick pulled out his Sig and grabbed it by the barrel. “Hey, asshole.” Kellan opened his eyes. “I have a nice gift for you.” Nick smashed the Sig into the side of Kellan’s head. Out he went again. “Yeah. Enjoy that. Hope it was great.” He came over to me. “I think he’s having a nice rest at the moment so he shouldn’t be too much of a hassle.” Nick winked at Claire and she smiled, warmly.

  “All right. Ready, Elaina?” Nick knelt down to me. I was so fucking annoyed that everyone was treating me like glass.

  “I’m not a fucking fragile porcelain doll.” I still had my face in my hands.

  “Right.” Nick started picking me up, and I heard him growl in pain.

  “Nick, just leave me for now, and you can rest.”

  “Nope. You need to get inside and in bed. Arg! Damn it.” Nick struggled with me in his arms.

  “I’m not that heavy. Geez, give a girl a complex.”

  “How do you do it?” He adjusted my weight in his arms so there would be less on his injured one.

  “Do what?”

  “That.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Still covering my eyes, I wasn’t ready to see the world yet.

  “Your sense of humor. How can you make a joke in this fucked up situation? I mean, look around us.”

  “I’m not opening my eyes. I’ll puke.”

  “Right. Where do you find it in you?”

  “My stomach.”

  “Oh, my god, Elaina…”

  “Sorry. It’s the only way I can get through things sometimes. I don’t want to feel anything, and if I push it away with a joke or some solid sarcasm then, in my mind, I will be okay.”

  “Elaina, you have to feel all of this. It’s so fucked up.” Nick started up the stairs. I ignored his statement. It was fucked up. Completely and utterly fucked up, but how else was I supposed to deal with it? I was sick of crying.

  “How’s Mom?”

  “Not good. I’m going to check on her once I get you into your bed.”

  “Let me know.”

  “I will.” I slowly opened my right eye when Nick set me down in my old bed and headed out. I was still dizzy, but the world felt a little calmer than it did when I was outside. I tried opening my left eye, but it took a moment to build up the courage.

  Finally, I grew a pair of balls and popped them both open. I was afraid of what I would see. It was nice to be able to hide behind my eyelids, but I needed to face my reality again.

  My room was pretty much how I left it when I moved out. Pale yellow walls with white trim, white and pink floral quilt. Thankfully, the bed was full sized because I was going to have Henry stay with me. I couldn’t bear to be without him after what I had just witnessed. I looked over at my white vanity with my old pictures around the mirror. It made me smile to see all of it again.

  “Nick!” He popped his head in the door. “Can you bring Henry up in here with me?”

  “Are you sure?” I felt tremendously guilty because of how I had been treating him. I could have lost him to that giant fucking gorilla of a man out there. It was a major dose of reality. My Henry had died, but he was clawing his way back from the black abyss of his past one foot at a time.

  “Yes. I want to be there for him as much as I can.” He nodded. “Mom?”

  “She’s still hanging on. She’s a fighter. I wonder where you got it from.” He winked at me and went back downstairs.

  It seemed like hours later before I heard Nick finally coming up the stairs, helping Henry every step of the way. They paused in the doorway so Henry could catch his breath and swallow his cries of pain. I was pissed when I saw what was happening.

  “Why didn’t you carry him?!”

  Nick laughed at me. “Me? Carry him? I think he would rather do it this way,” he motioned his free hand and arm like Vanna White, “than accept my assistance.” Then Nick’s face went dark. “Not that I’m really fond of him right now.” Henry held onto the wall, and slowly made his way to the bed. “I’m heading back out to help them with Kellan. Any special requests, Mr. Bossman?”

  “Tie him up downstairs. I’ll come down and see him when I’m able. I have a few questions that I need to ask him.” As Henry lay back onto the bed, he said every cuss word that I knew, plus others I had no idea existed. When he finally did make it, he breathed a great sigh, then cringed. “Motherfucker…ugh. Shit.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Peachy. And you, love?”

  “Fabulous.”

  “Brilliant.”

  “Yup.” My curiosity was burning. I needed to know about Kellan. “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “Don’t play stupid. Tell me about Kellan.” Henry’s breath stopped for a moment, while he shifted his body. He was quiet, trying to put his words together. I laid there, fighting the urge to kiss him, make love to him, beat the ever loving shit out of him, cry over him, sleep, and throw up all at the same time.

  “Well, obviously, he’s one of Roger’s head-fucks. One of the VP’s of the program, I suppose. Let’s just call him ‘Vice Arseface’.” I tried not to laugh because it would probably have made me throw up. “He was one of the pricks who used to hand out the beatings, like a fast food chain hands out food laced with heart disease. He always knew exactly where to get me first.” He stopped. I rolled over to look at him while he was trying to explain.

  His eyes were swollen, and he could barely open them. His nose was even more crooked than before. His bottom lip was cracked open in the same place that held a scar. He had dried blood all over him. The bruises that I could see were already dark purple, and getter darker by the minute.

  I wanted to cry at the sight of him. He was a mess. I wanted to make all his pain go away. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to fix him, but I couldn’t. The only thing I could do at that moment was be there for him emotionally so, as gentle as I could, I took his hand and rubbed it with my thumb.

  “I’m here for you. Please, Henry, please talk to me. You almost fucking died out there. I need you not to do that again. It scared the shit out of me. I almost lost you forever.”

  “I heard you.” I looked at him, confused. Then he whispered, “I heard you screaming and crying for me. That’s what made me fight to push through the blackness that was sucking me in.”

  “Oh, god.” My jaw trembled, and my eyes began swimming with tears.

  “I’ll do my best not to scare you like that again.” He squeezed my hand. “I should’ve killed him when I had the chance, but I had this overwhelming need to control him, like he did with me for so many years. I’m so pissed at myself about this. I had my chance, but then I… Fuck me.” He closed his eyes and hissed.

  “How did he know where you were? I mean, you could have been anywhere by now.”

  “I could have. He would still have been able to find me, no matter where I was.”

  “How?”

  Henry slowly lifted his arm, hissing the whole time. “This.”

  “This what?”

  “You see this scar? I have a tracking device implanted.” Um, excuse me? Come again? I always thought it was just a scar. I never even questioned him about it.

  “Seriously?”

  “Do you think I would be fucking joking about that?!” he yelled at me, even though it hurt. His temper was short enough, but the pain of his past and present were really doing a number on him.

  I tried being patient. “I’m sorry. Please tell me.”

>   “Once they decided I was a fit for the program, the grim reaper out there implanted this chip in me so I could never run. So, obviously, they have been following my movements since I’ve been in the States. Also, without a doubt, they have been investigating everyone I knew and every place I went. They knew that I would keep you alive so, more than likely because I’m such a bloody softie, I would bring you here at some point. They must have had everything set up from the get go. I almost wonder if he was in the area before the release, just waiting for the right moment. How else would he have gotten here?”

  I had a brilliant idea. “So, let’s cut the damn thing out.”

  Henry tried not to laugh. It pained him too much. “Yeah. That’s precisely what I need. More pain right now. I’m seconds from vomiting as it is.”

  “Why didn’t you cut it out before?”

  He tried to look at me through his swollen eyes. “To be honest, I didn’t even think about it until I saw Kellan in the cellar.”

  “How could you forget something as significant as this?” I was so flustered.

  “I don’t know, Elaina. Maybe I’ve been too busy trying to keep you, Claire, and Nick alive.” And then he mumbled, “Too busy trying to get you back. Too busy trying to drink away my mental anguish. Bloody hell!” He was angry with himself.

  I knew he wanted to punch something. He thought that our situation was his fault. My heart ached so much that it felt like I was stabbed in the chest. I put all of us in danger because of my asinine behavior.

  “I was so scared you weren’t going to come back to me.” My voice shook.

  “I’m sorry to scare you like that.” He squeezed my hand again.

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too,” he breathed out.

  We heard a lot of foot traffic and doors slamming downstairs. I heard Kellan yelling, but it was muffled. I assume Nick had gagged him. Henry’s body went stiffer than it already was. I could feel the fear radiating off of him. He was absolutely terrified of Kellan. Next to nearly losing me, that was the only time I had seen him rigid with fear.

  “Shut up! Shut up now, or I will blow your fucking brains out!” I assumed Sophie was screaming at Kellan. I heard him grumble. “Do not tempt me. I have a lot of pent up anger at the moment. I’m going to ungag you, and if you yell once, I’ll do it.” I decided to try to get up, but Henry refused to let go of my hand.

  “It’s okay. I’m just going to stand at the top of the stairs. I want to hear what’s going on.” He sighed and let go of my hand.

  I lied. I stood at the top of the stairs for moment before I walked down part way.

  ***

  I saw Sophie standing in front of Kellan. He was sitting, now ungagged, in a dining room chair. His hands were bound behind him, and his legs were bound to the chair legs. There were chains wrapped around him, secured with locks. Nick had tied him up like a boss.

  Nick must have raided the garage. Dad always had a wide variety of items for that “just in case” situation. I suppose this situation would fit in that category.

  “Do what you want, you whore. Roger knows where all of us are, even now. Did you two forget about those?” Kellan motioned his head to Sophie’s forearm.

  “Forget about what?” Nick asked. Sophie stood still. “Sophie! Forget about what?!”

  “Oh, anger. I like anger. Turns me on.” Kellan laughed. He seemed unfazed by his injuries.

  “Oh shut it, you sick fuck.” Nick sounded bothered.

  “Tracking devices,” Sophie whispered as she looked at the underside of her forearm.

  “What!” Nick reached out and grabbed her arm, and ran his fingers down the two inch scar on the underside of her forearm. She was clenching her teeth together, fighting her tears.

  “Are you going to cry, Sophie? Because if you are, I want to watch every single tear run down that whore face of yours.”

  Nick had enough and he punched Kellan in the mouth. He spit out a couple teeth and blood on Nick’s shirt. Nick grabbed him by the throat. “If you don’t shut your fucking mouth,” Nick put his Sig to Kellan’s temple, “I will give you a one way ticket to Hell. Hmm… Maybe I’ll just let the virus take over. I know that’s what every last one of your kind fears the most. The pain of slowly dying from the inside out.”

  “My kind? It looks like we’re in the same boat, mate.” He stared Nick down. It was a jarring reminder of what was now Nick’s life. His arm twinged with pain, reminding him of the virus that now lived in his brain.

  Nick turned back to Sophie. “Tell me about these fucking tracking devices.” Sophie stood there, looking at Nick like a deer caught in the headlights. “Tell me now!” He screamed so loud that it almost felt like the house rumbled.

  “They implanted us with them when they put us into the program.”

  “And both of you failed to mention this?!” Nick was growing more impatient and angrier by the second. “Damn it all to hell, Sophie! Tell me now!” Nick raised the Sig to Sophie’s head. Kellan was laughing, blood still trickling out of his mouth, enjoying the show. “Shut up! Shut up!” Nick screamed at Kellan. His laughing was like nails on a chalkboard. Chaos was running rampant. Nick was losing control of himself.

  “Do it!” Kellan roared.

  “Okay, okay!” Sophie screamed. She broke down and dropped to the floor, pushing herself back against the wall, and pulled in her knees. She looked like she regressed about two decades. So much had happened to her in Roger’s custody. It was surprising it took that long for her to shatter.

  Claire jumped up and ran over to her. Until then, she and Thomas had just watched the scene from the sidelines.

  “Aw, now, isn’t that cute? The little princess taking care of the Barbie whore.”

  Nick turned around and pistol whipped him across the temple, knocking him out. Nick grabbed the gag, tying it taut across his mouth again. He wasn’t even sure why Sophie ungagged him in the first place, and he was going to be sure it wouldn’t happen again.

  “Sophie, tell me what the fuck is going on.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything! I want to know everything.”

  “You know most of it already.”

  “I feel like I know nothing at all!”

  “Nick, calm down.” Claire stood up in between him and Sophie. “It’s devastating for her.”

  “She could have been leading this waste of valuable air to us the whole time.” Nick motioned at Kellan.

  “Come on, Nick. Think about it. Isn’t it painfully obvious? She’s terrified of him! Look at her! She wouldn’t purposely lead him to us.” Sophie still sat on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest, resting her head on them.

  ***

  I wanted to intervene, I wanted to ask questions, but I lacked the energy to go down the stairs all the way. I decided I needed to go check on my mom. I turned around to walk back up the couple of stairs I had gone down, and Henry was leaning with his back against the wall, grimacing in pain.

  “What are you doing up?”

  “I knew you would try to go back down the stairs. I wanted to stop you, but I couldn’t get any further.”

  Claire looked up when she heard us. “Seriously?! You two get back in bed! We have this handled!” Claire stomped up the stairs and grabbed me by my arm. “Nick, help me get Henry.”

  “I can see you have it handled,” I said in my usual sarcastic way.

  “Shut the fuck up, Elaina!” Claire’s frustration and anger was evident. I couldn’t believe Ms. Proper told me to shut the fuck up. I didn’t have the energy to think of a comeback.

  I scowled at her. “Don’t take this out on me!” That was the best that I could do. Claire mumbled something, while she supported me as we ascended the few stairs I had managed to get down. I was grateful for her help, even though I didn’t express that to her.

  “I’ll try to help.” I stopped as I heard Thomas come up behind us.

  “No offense, Thomas, but I don’t think yo
u could move Henry. He’s not a lightweight, like you are.”

  “Snippy much?” Claire growled. That was a first. Henry was bracing himself up against the wall. His swollen face was contorted in pain. Some of his wounds were still oozing.

  “Well, he’s two hundred plus pounds. Thomas couldn’t possibly be more than a buck twenty-five.”

  “I’m sick of this shit! Elaina, go. Now!” Henry buckled in pain when he yelled. He started a slow slide down the wall that he couldn’t stop. I turned around enough to see Thomas’ blank eyes staring at Henry. And just past him, Nick was kneeling down, stroking Sophie’s hair, apologizing to her.

  “I want to see my mom,” I said.

  “Fine.” Claire escorted me to my parents’ room. Thomas made it to Henry and helped him as much as he could.

  I stopped in the doorway and saw my helpless, frail mother laying there in silence. “Mom…?” I whispered. I went to her side. “Claire?” She left her anger at the door, and made her way over to the bed. “Please, tell me she’s still alive.”

  Claire checked her pulse and listened to her chest. “Yes, but barely. I think she probably needs fluids or she isn’t going to make it.”

  “I don’t know what to do. We can’t force her to drink anything. She’s unconscious.” I tried hard to hold it together.

  “She needs an IV with fluids. I would imagine a transfusion would be best but, for obvious reasons, we can’t do that. I’m willing to bet that bastard just about tapped her dry.”

  “I don’t think Henry has everything we need to give her fluids through an IV.” The situation was becoming more hopeless by the second.

  Then I heard Thomas say, “But there’s an Urgent Care down on the main road. I saw it when I came into town.” He was standing outside of my parents’ bedroom door.

  “Right. Thank you, Thomas.” How could I have forgotten? I stood up. Claire grabbed me.

  “Oh no, you don’t. You’re staying here. Thomas, you and I…let’s go.”

  “Wait! No. It’s too dangerous.” I couldn’t let Claire and Thomas go on their own.