Broken Dreams
Page 52
Nick squatted down beside her, and took her hands into his. “Babe…talk to me.” Nick rubbed her thighs.
“We had a conversation about s’mores with Sophie when we went to get supplies from Henry’s apartment. At the time, it was a meaningless conversation.” The sound of her name made Henry clench his jaw. Nick reached out and held onto Claire.
Thomas grabbed a bottle of vodka out of one of the boxes, passing it right over to Henry. He removed the cap and lifted the bottle a little. “To Sophie,” he said quietly, before taking a long pull from it. He passed the bottle around, and we all followed suit. When the bottle made it back to Thomas, he nearly put it to his lips when Claire grabbed it from him.
“You aren’t old enough.”
“What does it matter? There ain’t no laws.”
“Maybe not, but I won’t condone drinking at your age, law or no law.” Claire seemed to forget all the parties we went to in high school, but I wasn’t going to bring it up.
“I agree, mate…” Henry said. “Not until you are at least fifteen.”
We all looked at each other and had a good laugh. We needed it. It had been tense between all of us since Sophie’s passing. Thomas sat down on the floor and pouted while he watched us pass the bottle, bypassing him several times.
Henry said, “You know, the first time I got to actually converse with Sophie, she was, quite frankly, off her rocker.” Henry looked down at his boots, while he pushed around the matted, stained carpeting. “The innocence in her pale blue eyes is what drew me to her.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear about his feelings for her because I felt like he was talking about a lost love. I suppose, in a way, he was.
“She was the only girl recruit in our grouping. I felt the need to step up and keep an eye on her. Roger tried to hurt her the first time he laid eyes on her so I had to step up. I won’t tolerate seeing a woman abused after what I saw with my mum.” He took a deep breath. “I hope she knew how much I cared for her, and how much I wanted to help her, even when she was strong. We had a common thread…her pain ran as deep as mine.” He cleared his throat, trying to hold it together.
“Elaina, I know you guys didn’t get off on the right foot, but she was really happy for us. She confessed that she still loved me and hoped that we would have gotten back together, but she knew how much I loved you,” he finished, pausing to look at me. It was a long pause, and I felt the need to say something.
“She told me something like that.” I remembered back to our conversation when she said that Henry never loved her as much as he does me.
“It’s going to be hard for me to move forward without her. Later on, I have some things that I need to take care of for her.” He continued to take sip after sip out of the bottle. I knew “Drunk Henry” was just around the corner. I got up and put my hand on the bottle as he put it to his lips again.
“I’m kind of tired. You want to go to bed? It’s pretty late.” I had to stop the train wreck that was about to happen. His drinking was worrying me. I slowly pulled the bottle out of his hands and capped it.
“Yeah. I guess.” I grabbed his good hand, and led him up to the bedroom. I shut the door, sealing his sorrow in with us. The moon lit the room just enough for me to see Henry’s face. I reached up and stroked his tear-moistened cheeks with my hands.
“What did Claire say about your hand?”
“Probably broken.” Henry paused, and then added in a whisper, “You know, I couldn’t do this without you.”
As I put my arms around his neck, he put his arms around my waist. We swayed a little, as if there were soft music playing around us. He pulled me in tight and rested his forehead against mine. Then he confessed, “If I didn’t have you, I would have put a bullet in my head right next to her.”
Like a flash, I stepped back. “Henry! Don’t say shit like that!”
“What would I have to live for?”
“The cause!”
“Trying to stop this madness?” He laughed. “I’m doubtful I’m the man for the job.”
“No! You can do this. We can do this. I have faith that we can.” He shook his head. “Henry, without you, we would be all dead.”
“Without me, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Don’t do this to yourself again. This is not your fault. You have got to stop blaming yourself for what Roger did.” A look of disgust ran across his face when I said Roger’s name. “This would have happened with or without you. You were an innocent boy. He took advantage of you.” By then, he had let go of me and was running his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. “You cannot change what happened, but you can change the outcome.”
“My outcome will never fucking change! Why do you not understand that?! And why do you have so much fucking faith in me?!”
“Lower your voice! And don’t you dare get angry with me! I am trying to help you!” I snapped. “And I do understand your personal outcome will never change! Why would you think that I don’t get it?” I stepped closer to him. I poked him in the chest with my finger. “Against all the odds, you are a decent man. I know I have had my share of doubts, but some good has come out of this situation.”
“What the hell could that possibly be, Elaina?”
“You know how to fight this! He never bet on you going rouge. He always thought you would be too terrified because of everything he put you through. He believed he had you trapped. But you have risen up. You have taken control of your own self as much as you can. He no longer owns you, Henry. You are your own man, not his anymore. You can control your own destiny now.”
“I depended on Sophie to help me. She has been…was an important role in fighting this. Now it’s just me who is trained, and I have to keep all of you safe. And I have to fight Gunther alone. I’m not sure I’ll make it through that on my own. He’s so much stronger than me, as you know.” I thought of how Kellan ravaged his body, then thought about Gunther kicking his ass at the bar.
“You don’t have to do it alone! You have me, Claire, Nick, and Thomas! We may be a little bit like riff raff, but I think we have done relatively well…considering the circumstances.”
“You don’t have the training, the power.”
“Then teach us. Train us. I will always fight next to you, no matter what. I would die for you, as you would for me.”
“Elaina, I have already put you in too many bad spots. I can’t do that. I can’t burden you.”
“Why?” I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t think we can do it? You don’t think we have it in us? Are we not worthy of the big fucking training secrets?”
“I can’t. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t have anything happen to you.” His voice cracked more than once. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
“What would happen if we lost you? You would be leaving us high and dry. We need you to lead us.” I could see him rolling these words in his head, over and over again. He knew I was right, but he would never admit to it. “At least train Nick, for fuck’s sake.”
“He doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me, let alone train for a mission he didn’t ask for.” He turned around and stared out the window. “I screwed him over, Elaina.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
He spun around to face me. “When is something going to be my fucking fault?! I’m the cause of some of this insanity around us! Why do you not understand that?! If I wasn’t such an asshole kid…”
“You weren’t the beginning of this! You are just a part of it. And you will be the one who ends it!”
“As long as I’m half alive, it will never end.” He walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
“Shit…” I said to myself. I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I knew what he was going to do. “So what are you going to do, Henry? Drink yourself into oblivion? You think that’s the answer? You think the answer is at the bottom of that bottle?” He unscrewed the cap of vodka and took a long pull.
“The only thing you will find at the bottom of that bottle is sickness! What if something happens in the middle of the night tonight and you’re knocked out cold?”
“We can’t live on ‘what if’s’, Elaina. And, besides, if I get completely pissed, then I won’t think, feel, or hear!” He took another long pull from the bottle.
“Henry, please listen to me. Damn it, give me that bottle!” I snatched it right out of his hands as he was bringing it to his lips again. “This isn’t going to help you. When you wake up, everything will still be here. All your feelings, all your emotions, all your pain! It will still be here! Plus a hangover.”
“She’s right.” Claire whispered, startling us. “My parents died in an accident because of my father’s alcoholism.” I was stunned. That was new to me. Wait, was she saying that Henry was an alcoholic?
“Claire… I had no idea.” I was still thinking about whether or not Henry was an alcoholic.
“No one did. He hid it well. Very well. My father was drunk while driving home, my mother was stupid for letting him drive. They crashed into a tree at around eighty miles an hour.” Besides the small obituary that was on the newspaper’s website, that was the first time I had heard anything about Claire’s parent’s death.
“Claire… I’m so sorry.” I grabbed her, pulling her into a hug.
“It’s okay, really. I have been trying to come to terms with it. I haven’t wanted to talk about it because I was too embarrassed. Dr. James, one of the best around, couldn’t even control his drinking.” She pulled away from me. “Henry, I don’t want anything to happen to you. You see, no matter what kind of shit you pulled or shit you are in, Elaina’s love for you is so strong. We can’t sit here and watch you drink yourself into a coma. I love you like family. I want to keep what family I have left around me. I know Elaina wants the same. She would be lost without you.” I saw Henry’s face go from angry to sorrow.
“Elaina… She’s gone. She’s gone.” He fell to his knees.
“Henry.” I rushed to him and knelt down in front of him, grabbing his face and looking him in the eyes. “I’m so sorry you lost her…the only person that could completely understand you.”
“I can’t even give her a proper burial. She deserves one. I was all she had.” He fell into my arms. Henry was in a million pieces, scattered before me. Putting him back together would prove to be the largest task ever. My mind was working at a feverish pace, trying to find a way to piece him back together. I wasn’t sure if I was the one for the job.
“You’re right. She absolutely does. But…listen.” I grabbed his face again. “Look at me.” His beautiful eyes met mine. “Once we find a place to settle down, we’ll have a proper memorial for her. Okay?” His tears were pooling in my hands. “We will honor her.”
“Her kids… They will never know her.”
“We will find them and tell them all about how amazing their mom was. They will know the truth about Sophie, how much she wanted to be there for them, how strong and resilient she was.”
“I have to get them for her.”
“We will. If it’s the last thing we do.” He nodded and wrapped his arms around me.
I don’t know how long I held him while he cried, but it seemed like hours. He needed it. As much as I hated to admit it, Sophie was the only one who truly understood Henry. And, goddammit, that hurt.
Chapter 32
C
laire woke up with the sun shining on her face. She rolled over, realizing that Nick wasn’t there. Immediately, she stood up, forgetting she was naked. Then she smiled, thinking about how Nick took her to places that no one ever had. She thought about their encounter the night before, and how amazing it was.
Then fear rushed over her. With amazing agility, she ran around all the blankets and supplies, putting her clothes on. She had to find him. Claire whipped open the bedroom door. “Nick! Nick! Where are you?” Her body prickled with panic. “Nick!” she screamed.
***
“It’s alright, Claire,” I yelled up the stairs. “He and Thomas went scavenging for gas.” She bolted down the stairs, pulling her shirt over her head.
“Gas?”
“Yeah, there are a few cars around so they went to get as much gas as they could.” Claire took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm down.
“How’s Henry?”
“A wreck doesn’t even begin to cover it. He’s still sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb him yet. The sun was coming up before I could talk him into going to lie down…” My voice trailed off. “I haven’t even slept yet.”
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Claire, he’ll never be okay. He cried himself to sleep like a child. I’m so worried about him. It kills me to see him like this. There are moments when he’s so strong and amazing, but then there are moments, like now, when he’s like a lost boy. His toughness is just a front to hide that scared little boy that resides inside of him.”
“He’s gone through some pretty awful shit.”
“Yeah.” I looked away from Claire. “I can’t wait to get my hands on that fucker. I’m going to torture the bastard. He’ll pay for what he did to Henry.” My body surged with hatred. Claire put her hand on my shoulder and lovingly rubbed it, smiling sadly.
“Well…shall we try to organize this atrocity?” She waved her arm at the disarray of boxes and bags. I was dreading it, but it had to be done. We knelt down on the floor and emptied everything, repacking it as orderly and as neat as we could.
There were a couple gunshots off in the distance. Claire and I both stood up and ran to the windows. We saw Nick and Thomas in a full sprint, running toward us. I opened the door, and they launched into the house. They were both bent over, trying to catch their breath.
“What happened?!” Claire grabbed Nick.
“Survivors…” He was breathless. Thomas reached around and locked the doors. “Shooting at us.”
“What’s going on? I heard gunshots.” Henry was running down the stairs while buttoning his jeans. Claire and I went to look out the grimy window.
“There are a couple…survivors down there. We were getting gas…and they shot at us.” I peeked out the window.
“Uh, guys. They’re here.” An older man was beating the shit out of Sophie’s truck with a huge wrench, screaming for us to come out. “And there’s one pointing a gun right at the door.”
“Alright. Be right back.” Henry ran upstairs. He came back down in seconds with his vest on over a shirt with several weapons stashed in it. He quickly put on a hoodie and his ball cap.
He glanced at me. “They have no idea who they’re fucking with.” Henry was back. “Everyone stand back. Nick, get the sniper rifle and go upstairs. I’m going to go out there. If anything happens, put some lead in them.” That was a little blunt. I didn’t like the plan one bit because it wasn’t well thought out…not that any of our other plans were ever well thought out. He was being a bit too much of a loose cannon for me right now, though.
“You got it, boss.” Nick grabbed the sniper rifle and extra ammo, and ran upstairs to the front bedroom.
“Henry, you can’t go out there! He’s aiming right at the door.”
“Elaina… I’ve got this. Trust me.” “Crazy Henry” had arrived, and I knew not to fuck with that Henry. I backed off because there was no way that I could change his mind, and if I tried, he would just explode. We didn’t need any more of that for the time being.
“I love you.” I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“As well.” He kissed me on the forehead. I grabbed Claire, and she pulled me into the kitchen so we could watch out the window. Thomas ran upstairs with Nick.
We heard the door slowly open, then Henry’s booming voice. “Is there an issue, gentlemen?”
“Oh, god…” I covered my eyes.
“A
n issue? Of course there’s a fucking issue,” said the mangy-looking guy holding the gun. “Two of your people stole gas from vehicles we have already claimed.”
“Ah, I see. A simple misunderstanding.” Henry smiled. The mangy man with the gun didn’t return the gesture.
“It’s more than a simple misunderstanding. You see, this is our neighborhood. And it was fine until you waltzed in here and thought you were going to move on in.”
“Actually, we were only staying the night. We can be out of your hair in the next hour, and you can have your precious, rundown neighborhood back.” The older grubby man with the wrench smashed the passenger side window of Sophie’s truck. I saw the muscles in Henry’s jaw twitch.
“Oh shit, Claire. Oh shit. This is going to end badly.” I could almost hear Henry’s teeth grinding together.
“Please. Stop doing that.” Henry was doing his best to be calm. “I’ll give you back your gas, and we will leave.”
The man with the gun shook his head and laughed maniacally. “Nope. You will give us everything you have, including that truck.” He pointed at Henry’s truck.
Henry looked surprised by this man’s brazenness. Then his face shifted, and just like that, “Program Henry” took over. “I don’t think so, mate,” he said in a low, gruff voice.
“What makes you think that we’ll let you go alive?” The guy with the wrench began laughing like a lunatic. “What makes you think that you’re the only one who has attempted this, then attempted to walk away?”
“You have no clue who you’re fucking with,” Henry growled. The two men laughed. Henry wasn’t laughing. He gaze was strong and icy. He was ready to strike, like a waiting rattlesnake. One more jab and it was on.
“Do you have the queen on speed dial?” said the mangy younger man, mocking Henry’s accent. They laughed again. Henry’s face was unreadable.
“Claire…,” I whispered. My entire body was trembling.