The Awakening Guide: A Companion for the Inward Journey (Companions for the Inward Journey Book 2)

by Bonnie Greenwell

  This call to a spiritual search is much more than a search for the escape hatch out of the finality of dying, although it may seem to start that way. It is actually a call to living. An internal drive is inviting us to reverse our attention from external form to interior essence, in order to know who we truly are, and then to live as that. This pull to turn within is generated by the same creative forces responsible for the appearance of life within the vast spaces of unbounded emptiness. It is an impulse to return to the mystery of our consciousness so that we can discover Truth.

  Sometimes this pull begins in childhood, with a persistent wondering about the nature of things. Even at a very early age we can have gentle openings and understandings about the universal connection between all beings, followed by disappointment when it is seen that adults don’t understand this perspective. Sometimes the pull is generated by a traumatic loss or painful experience.

  It can also happen that in the midst of adult life we suddenly realize the insubstantiality of happiness, how it ebbs and flows despite the acquiring of material and relational objects. Or the impulse may arise spontaneously with a sudden shocking insight that there is more to consciousness than the consensus reality we have never before questioned. Wham! We see it! There is a flash of being nothing and everything, eternal stillness and creation flowing from it, energy swirling out of the ethers, and love penetrating all. In some unguarded moment we see the unspeakable miracle behind the scenes of the drama in which we play, and when the curtain is closed again we are hungry to know more. This source, which has always been conducting our lives, now wants us to know Itself fully.

  The dance of a spiritual seeker begins in many ways, and concludes in only One.

  The Inward Journey

  It is a watershed moment when we realize that we can no longer find the truth outside of ourselves, and we must begin an inward journey. We may not in the moment recognize the significance of this movement, but we will probably look upon it later as a turning point in our lives. It often happens because of a chance event such as a line in a book that refers to enlightenment, a therapist’s invitation to a guided imagery, a yoga class that ends with inner silence, an accident or sudden personal loss, or a friend’s recommendation that we try meditation. Once we understand there are unknown territories to explore, and rich discoveries possible, and realize that everything held within us is not some dark and repressed memory, we may take a serious step forward into spiritual discovery.

  Meditation has been marketed as a relaxation method, and a way to lower blood pressure, improve health, increase longevity and enhance your life. These benefits exist. But since ancient times it has actually been a tool of psychological and spiritual revelation. By sitting and inviting awareness into the deep interior silence behind our thoughts, and the deep stillness before activity, we become capable of discovering the full range of consciousness, and the source from which it flows. We begin to observe how our mind works, and how conditioning has controlled our choices and behavior.

  Meditation may also open a few people to other dimensions of consciousness, seeing their minds produce worlds or images previously unknown. It can lead the psyche to become calm and centered, and this stillness becomes a refuge in the spiritual seeker’s life. Occasional bliss arises, sometimes energy, and eventually, peace.

  Like finding a river flowing in the hills and following it all the way to its source, a spiritual practice can lead us through many varied territories. Those who persist eventually realize the core of existence, and relax into wholeness and Being. We seek this because something outside of mind is driving us, and the promise it offers is that someday we will come to know that what we seek is the same as the one who is seeking, and we come full circle, with a sense of completion and interior harmony. When we become harmonious inside, the outside world will in time seem perfectly acceptable just as it is, despite the fact it could use some improvements. As our true spirit comes alive it moves back into the world with no regrets.

  Of course meditation is not the only way that spirit opens itself up. In the non-dual eastern traditions this awakening is reported to happen to those who are ready through simply hearing the truth, or by sitting for a while in the presence of a master teacher. It is understood that awakening may also happen spontaneously, especially in those who are devoted to and longing for Truth. It sometimes happens during trauma and near-death experiences, as well as in reaction to deep emotional overwhelm. Awakening happens when our ego-driven safeguards and protections become disarmed, opening us so that our senses and consciousness can be penetrated by Truth. It happens when for a moment thought stops!

  It is interesting that many spiritual seekers travel to the other side of the world to find a teacher who will startle them into awakening, and then find themselves contracting against the experience once they have arrived. It is like banging on an entry door, and then refusing to enter when it is opened. The calling of our spirit and the anxiety of our minds can come into great contradiction! In our hearts we know what we want, but our thoughts produce obstacles and objections, throwing up smoke screens to distract us. It can take many years for some-one who wants awakening to give up fear and distractions, because the separate self wants to endure as the dominating controller of our lives. Its position sometimes has to be worn down bit-by-bit before we are completely receptive to the awakened heart and mind.

  Spiritual Waking Up

  The nature of spiritual awakening is a matter of confusion for most spiritual seekers, who hear descriptions of many varieties of spiritual phenomena and experiences, and are encouraged to categorize and label them according to the framework of a particular tradition.

  Also many people refer to any event that motivated them to begin a spiritual search as a “spiritual awakening”, including pivotal decision points such as may happen sitting at a death bed or coping with a life-threatening illness, and feeling that there must be something more to life.

  The meaning of spiritual awakening, as it has been known classically in eastern traditions, and even in early Gnostic and Christian teachings, is the waking up of consciousness to the remembrance of its original nature. It is a movement of the psyche where the individual sense of self-identification has fallen away, and awareness stands with nothing to identify itself, and yet it knows itself as being aware. Perception is shifted. Division is dissolved. It is like moving from being a noun to a verb. Instead of being some one, we know we are aware-ing, sensing, thinking, feeling or being whatever movement is happening in this one moment.

  At the same time the physical body/mind has become irrelevant. It is there in a relative sense, perhaps still and empty, or perhaps blissful, but one is no longer identified as this. Waking up to our true nature is the first step toward liberation. This is the definition of spiritual awakening that is used in this book.

  The Varieties of Awakening Experience

  Because many varieties of mystical or spiritual experiences have come to be described as spiritual awakening, spiritual aspirants who have experienced a significant event can become confused, knowing something has shifted or awakened, but realizing they do not feel finished or enlightened. They tend to think the solution must lie in a frequent repetition of their experience, which they have no conscious capacity to repeat. They believe that some big overwhelming experience just beyond their grasp will be the final awakening, or perhaps, that at some point in time the great spiritual intensity they have felt will become a permanent condition. While all of these other forms of experience are definitely great movements that might be given this label, there would be more clarity in the understanding of spiritual process if we could limit the term to its classical meaning, and define other events more precisely.

  Examples of spiritual experiences that have been called awakening include:

  Samadhi: A union of the meditator with the object of meditation, with various levels leading to a deep absorption in a transcendent state where thought is dissolved but an illumined awareness is p
resent. There is not an awareness of being a separate individual while in this state, because all thought is stopped, but remembrance of the sensation or understanding arises afterward. The mind is free of all modifications and consciousness sinks into deeper and deeper levels, sometimes called planes of existence. Advanced meditators who fall into this state may appear asleep or barely breathing, and can stay in that condition for long periods of time, a rare few for days. Samadhi is the end goal in most yoga or Vedanta systems, but the emphasis is on lifelong practices before it can be experienced.

  Satori: In Buddhism satori is equated with enlightenment and is a deep awakening or realization of existence beyond dualism or any personal sense of self. This triggers a profound change in one’s perspective, personality and character. An initial flash of seeing one’s true nature and recognizing this to be the nature of existence is called kensho, but this first glance is usually temporary and has been called shallow. Satori is an awakening to one’s true nature and this is an ultimate goal of Zen and other Buddhist schools of practice. It is not transcendent in the way of samadhi, but can happen while doing an ordinary task, sitting briefly, even walking down the street. It is an in-the-moment experience where everything else but clear recognition of reality falls away.

  Kundalini Awakening: An activation of energy, usually beginning from the base of the spine and flowing upward, which brings about significant changes in consciousness and cellular patterns over a period of time, and facilitates a clearing of the former identifications. It may happen in response to yoga or Qigong training, during meditation or energy practices, before or following an awakening or realization experience, during a trauma, drug or near-death experience, and even spontaneously.

  Heart Opening: A deep sense of opening in the chest, often with an overwhelming sense of unconditional love for all beings, which brings about a significant change in the psychological orientation, increasing sensitivity, compassion and appreciation for life. Some people believe this is kundalini awakening in the heart, but often it is not accompanied by other signs of kundalini activation.

  Psychic Opening: An eruption of an image appearing in the mind, or an inner knowing about people, events, and other lives. This may include hearing celestial music, seeing auras or experiencing other paranormal, visionary or auditory experiences. These moments may change perception as well as the sense of personal capacity in the world, bringing a person out of mainstream consensus thinking and opening him or her to spiritual explorations.

  Initial Mystical Experience: Consciousness breaks through its boundaries of a personal self, and experiences a vast expanse of being or presence, great light, a spiritual vision or the presence of a spiritual entity, or a sense of cosmic connectedness for a brief period of time, occasionally lasting for a few days. A new understanding about the nature of reality, which might be labeled insight, or a felt infusion of wisdom or love, may be part of this opening.

  Initial Response to a guru or teacher that stimulates one to follow a spiritual path: Shaktipat is the Sanscrit term for the transmission of energy or consciousness sometimes received in the presence of an awakened teacher, and is usually felt as a charge or rush of energy or ecstasy, or perhaps a stopping of the mind for a few seconds. One is impacted in such a way that they directly feel how consciousness and physicality are intimately related to spiritual experience. This often inspires a person to follow spiritual teachers or practices, and begins a process of reorganizing the energy system in new patterns. An experience called Diksha is an energy transmission given by people who have training in moving energy into others, which sometimes appears to activate kundalini and can trigger an intense clearing process, as well as move a person into an expanded state of awareness.

  Descent of Grace: A feeling of being flooded from above with intense love, light or ecstatic energy which enters the body through the crown and triggers a sense of swooning or surrendering into it for a while. This is often a life-altering event, creating a sense of personal connection with God. In the Integral Yoga School founded by Aurobindo it is the focus of practice. In Christianity it may lead to what is called a conversion experience.

  Drug experiences: During a drug-induced high some people report aspects of the above experiences, see visions, or perceive the world of form as made of energy or light. These tend to be temporary openings, not readily accessible once the high has passed, and not able to be replicated either with or without the drug. But they can open a person up to a genuine search, so that other awakenings can occur in a way that is more sustainable. I have known many people who entered a serious spiritual path following a mind-altering LSD or mushroom experience. An awakening triggered by drugs can have difficult side effects and many traditional teachers would say such awakenings are without value.

  A Glimpse of Reality

  While it is often said that self-realization is not an experience, what I have seen is that some people experience glimpses of their true nature, and are disoriented or confused by these moments of “no identity”, or perhaps discount them later as just a strange moment. In other cases they are remembered as sacred moments in a person’s life and have an impact that guides the future. Here are a few descriptions of these openings that reflect elements of mystical, heart opening, grace and kundalini activations.

  While in retreat many years ago and during meditation there was a sudden seeing of complete white brilliant stillness everywhere. There was no me thinking at the time so it’s all upon reflection. There was nothing but bright, white illumination and it was complete Love. It was spacious, unbounded, undifferentiated, endless and pure Love. An awareness was that everything is Love and everything is of Love and there is nothing other than that. Everything is this. Also within this brilliance were little blobs of worry, angst, and thoughts that arose, and I immediately knew that every thought, worry, angst was only that and nothing else. They only appeared and fell away, and were without substance, in this complete and pure brilliance. There was nothing but complete joy and awe and amazement. Then the mind kicked in and a thought arose that said “Wow, this must be what everyone tries to hang on to.” Then it was as if a heavy curtain came down over the entire scene and there was a heavy density that was felt in my body. The mind started to chatter and I came out of meditation.

  ***

  My initial experience happened at my first Vipassana retreat. Right away I felt powerful energy all around and was plunged into the vastness. While meditating, energy started coming up my spine, but it was so painful that I had to ask for help and my teacher stopped the process. After that the powerful energy was free-floating in my body in a wavelike fashion and blissful. I was very present and clear, surrounded by a deep silence, I had to move very, very slowly. When I left the retreat everything was radiant and beautiful. Everybody appeared as a radiant being of light, my heart was wide open and tears were streaming down my cheeks as I looked. Once I was back home in my habitual surroundings, some constriction started happening in my heart, and I felt strong pressure building up. I had to lie down and call the teacher, then the energy started moving on and dissipating. For the next couple of months I was completely present like an open window, all mind stuff and patterns blown away, then patterns and thoughts slowly started coming back.

  Many meditators have glimpses or moments of falling into the spaciousness that lies beneath thought, often with experiences of light and love infusing them. This openness and transparency of perception is a portal that points them toward the realization of their True Nature. Usually the mind steps in before the consciousness recognizes “I am this” or “This is all that is”, preventing the old ego structure from dissolving. More often than not the mind slips in a thought that brings a person quickly back to identification and separation, perhaps in a few minutes, or after a few days. It is as if the psyche is gradually preparing itself to reside in a new territory, but at first can only stay for a short time. Sometimes these glimpses arise spontaneously.

  I was 17 years old, lying
in my bed around midnight, doing a very basic breathing meditation for the first time. And without any warning a sudden blast of energy came up from the perinea region to the top of the head, like a huge cosmic orgasm, energy rushing like a fireman hose !!! “I” dissolved in light, consciousness and ecstasy --for how long, I do not know -- seconds, minutes? When I came back my heart was pumping like crazy and the whole experience cooled down in a few minutes.

  ***

  I was 22 and walking in NYC on my way to an interview when suddenly my sense of personal self fell away, and all around me was nothing but stillness and light, and everything around me seemed unreal, like a dream. There was no sense of a “me” at all. My body leaned against a wall and waited, but there was no fear, only a sense of everything was complete, like an inner hush. There were no thoughts of a “me”, no sense of a problem. Awareness was here without anyone to be aware. I don’t know how long this lasted, maybe just a few minutes, then my mind thought “what is this?” and I slowly came back to my ordinary consciousness.