Behind his Lens

by Beth Michele

  “No reason to be nervous,” he said, and my gaze swung to his face.

  “I’m not.”

  “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.” He nodded toward one of the black sofas. “Wanna sit?” For a second, I hesitated, before I gave in and lowered myself onto the leather. He took a seat also, relaxing his arms along the back of the couch opposite me. “So,” he grinned, “you found me online.”

  My eyes darted everywhere possible except his face. “Yeah, well, you had some good comments about your, uh, videos.”

  “Did I?” Amusement filled his voice and I bit down on my lip, hard enough to taste blood. What was I thinking? This was worse than I thought. “That’s good to hear. I guess I’m good at what I do.”

  My eyes snapped back to his. Again, his gaze was all over me, and I adjusted my position on the couch, trying to detract from the odd discomfort. It was strange to be on the other end of this, especially with a guy. When his gaze landed on my groin and he licked his lips, I’d had enough. “You know what? This was a bad idea. I’ve gotta go.” I sprang up from the sofa, nearly knocking the glass table over in the process.

  “Wait,” he called out, but there was no way in hell I was staying here. I wasn’t sure what made me think this would be something I’d ever do. Right. And how many more ways could I lie to myself?

  “Sorry about the misunderstanding,” I mumbled as I raced out the door. His footsteps followed behind me then tapered off.

  “That was fast,” Nate blurted out when I lunged into the car.

  “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  He revved the engine then made his way out of the parking lot. “What happened?”

  I leaned back against the headrest. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The weight of my brooding filled the car with a heavy silence until I decided I was ready to break it. “I just…don’t know what I’m doing. He seemed like a decent guy though.” We rolled to a stop at a red light and Nate looked over at me. I sighed, kicking my boots up onto the dashboard. “I mean, his profile said he’s an electrical engineer. I guess he does this on the side to make extra money.”

  “Extra money?” He chuckled. “An electrical engineer doesn’t need extra money.”

  “Okay, maybe he likes it.” I waved a hand. “Whatever.” The light turned green and he gunned the gas. “But I changed my mind, I’m not doing it. I’ll buy Willow some porn or something and we can watch it together.”

  “Ain’t nothing like the real thing, though.”

  I flicked his arm. “Shut the fuck up.”

  Another glance at my watch. I’d been sitting in this parking lot for forty minutes, staring up at Jake’s window. The lights were on in his apartment so I knew he was there. Goddamn it. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice when I spoke to him earlier. He was taunting me, almost as if he knew I had no choice. Well, I did have a choice. Which led me to wonder why I was here.

  But then I thought about Willow…again. How her big brown eyes filled with arousal when she told me what she wanted. How much it excited her. I understood it to a point, because seeing two chicks together was hot. So two guys… Of course, my mind went right back to Tyler. But I was young then, and that was just some stupid crush that never went anywhere. Even though that stupid crush lasted two years.

  I racked my brain, trying to think if there was ever any other time when I’d found another guy attractive. Had I ever? Aside from Tyler, I didn’t think so.

  And yet, here I was.

  Was I attempting to satisfy my own curiosity? And was Willow the perfect excuse to do that? Shit. I cursed under my breath before I pushed open the door and climbed out into the dark. Thankfully, it was pitch black. I didn’t need anyone recognizing me and wondering what I was doing here. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with me? No one had any idea what I was doing here—least of all me.

  I took a deep, steadying breath and entered the building. It was the longest walk of my life, it seemed. The elevator, on the other hand, arrived too quickly. As I got on and watched the numbers fly by, I bit down on my freaking nail, chomping on it like I wanted to rip the skin off. The bell dinged for the fourth floor and I reluctantly stepped out, the sight of 4F glaring at the end of the hallway.

  Almost as if he knew I was there, the door opened and Jake rapped on his watch. “You’re late,” he called out from down the hall, “and I’m a busy guy.”

  I think we’d already established that.

  His damn smirk greeted me as I got closer and for some reason, I chuckled. I chalked it up to nerves because what else could it be? If you’d told me before I started dating Willow two months ago that I’d be here, I would’ve said no fucking way.

  He gestured with a hand for me to go ahead of him, and as I did, I felt his damn eyes on me again. This time, my ass felt like it was on fire. I whirled around.

  “Listen, could you stop staring at me? It makes me fucking uncomfortable.”

  Once the door closed, he leaned back against it with a raised brow. “You might want to get used to it. I’m going to be doing a lot more than just staring.” As if sensing my heightened apprehension, he changed his tune. “Look, I’m sorry. But I have to be honest with you,” he confessed, his green gaze searing my face. “I was hoping you’d come back. I find you…,” he licked the crest of his upper lip, “very attractive.”

  I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck to tamp down the heat gathering there. I’d never had a guy tell me I was attractive before and didn’t know how to handle it. “Well, I’m sure that’s your standard line.”

  His lip tugged at the corners. “No, actually, it’s not. I get paid to do a job and I do it well, but every now and then someone comes along and catches my attention when I don’t expect it.”

  “You’re not what I expected either,” I admitted.

  “Oh yeah?” His tongue poked against the inside of his cheek. “Pleasantly surprised, I hope?”

  I smiled. This time, a real one. “Maybe.”

  “I have an actual job, you know. This is just something I do on the side. I make good money and…” His eyes slid down my body before returning to my face. “I enjoy it.” He pushed off the door and headed for the couch, glancing over his shoulder. “So are you going to stay a while this time? Or are you going to run off again?” I followed behind him and took a seat on the sofa when he made a detour. “I’m going to grab a beer. You want one?”

  I was tempted to ask if he had any hard liquor. I had a feeling I was going to need it. But all that came out was, “Yeah, sure.”

  My mind couldn’t help where it went. Sizing up the situation. Thinking about how strange this was. He was a regular guy like me, and it felt as if it was just two guys hanging out. But of course, deep below the surface, it was so much more than that.

  Eyes wandering the apartment, I looked for a clue. Something that was out of place—some reason for me to flee. But there was nothing out of the ordinary. It looked like a typical bachelor pad, except it was cleaner and more upscale than what I was used to. There were no clothes hanging over chairs, no empty beer bottles left out. Not like the apartment I shared with Nate.

  “Here you go.” He dragged me from my thoughts and handed me a beer before collapsing on the other sofa. “I know we texted back and forth a bit, but why don’t you tell me what you’re looking for exactly.”

  I took a long pull of my beer and let the cold numb my throat. “My uh, girlfriend, had mentioned something about you know, the two guys thing.” I rubbed a shaky hand over my thigh. “Her birthday is coming up and I thought I’d…well, you know. So here I am.”

  He swigged his beer, eyeing me over the rim. “And have you ever done this before?”

  “No,” I replied a little too quickly. “Never.”

  The corner of his mouth hitched. “Good.”

  “Why good?” I asked, chewing on my bottom lip. His eyes dropped to the movement and I let it go.

  “Don’t know.” He shrugged. “Just came out.” He toe
d off his Chucks then drew his legs up on the couch, shifting his body to face me. “No reason to be nervous, though. We can do as little or as much as you like. I’m willing to do whatever you want.”

  I polished off my beer, ready for another. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “Well…” He put his bottle on the table as his eyes started to move again, raking over my chest, my groin, my legs, then slowly back up. “We could start out kissing and just touch each other, or,” a pause, “we could fuck.” Another pause to lick his lips. “Or I could suck your cock.” He cleared his throat, adjusting himself, and I think I might’ve swallowed my tongue. “Whatever you want.”

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  I shrugged out of my jacket. “Another beer would be good,” I managed to say, and he chuckled.

  “Sure, we can start with that.” He disappeared into the kitchen while I tried like hell to get my runaway pulse under control.

  When Jake emerged, he grabbed a seat nearby and passed me the beer. “But just so you know, we kind of need to get comfortable with each other and practice a bit before we do the video, so it’s smooth when we finally shoot it.”

  My voice was too high, “Practice?”

  “Yeah.” His expression was serious. “A few times at least.” A nod toward my drink. “Why don’t you finish that off and then we can…you know.” He edged closer, placing a hand on my shoulder and I flinched. “You need to relax, Colt. I don’t bite.” Able fingers began to knead the muscles in my shoulder and I exhaled. “That’s it. Take it easy.” His stare climbed to my lips. “I like how strong you feel.” Moving even closer then, his breath hit my neck. “I have a confession to make. I’ve thought about you a lot since you were here last week. In fact, I’ve thought about little else.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but wasn’t sure what the fuck to say. Instead, I guzzled more beer, the smell of his breath awfully close and I didn’t know what to do with that.

  His voice lowered. “I jacked off a few times thinking about you.” Beer almost came flying from my mouth and I coughed. “Hey, go easy.” He smacked my back but then his hand stayed rooted against my shirt. I could feel the heat of his fingers through the cotton fabric. Sweat built on my upper lip and I wiped it away. “You’ve got to relax. You might actually enjoy this. I’m kind of…good at what I do.” His hand drifted over my back then slid up to my neck as he massaged my skin. I closed my eyes and thought of Willow, but his touch felt nothing like hers. His was solid and firm, not light and tentative. It was different. But oddly enough, it didn’t feel bad. The cushion shifted as did his proximity and my eyes popped open. “You smell really good.” His words were husky. “Is that cologne?”

  “I…don’t wear cologne.”

  “Fuck.” He pried the beer, my only safety net out of my hand and set it on the coffee table. I shoved my other hand under my thigh, pressing it into the sofa. “Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you.”

  “I’ve n-never kissed a guy before.” But Jesus, how many times had I wanted to kiss Tyler? Fantasized about it in my teenage bed while my hand wandered to my dick?

  “So.” He cupped my neck, angling my head toward him. My gaze dropped to his lips, full and open. A part of me wanted to know what they felt like. Wanted to know what the difference was, so I nodded my head. Inches from my mouth, he paused. “I love your lips. How fuckable they are. Last night,” he whispered then, “I had a dream they were wrapped around my cock…”

  Jesus.

  Talk about being out of my element. I was the first one to talk dirty. To like it dirty. But to be on the receiving end of it, from another guy? The intensity ratcheted my heart rate up about a thousand percent.

  His warm breath was just a beat away as he chased my lips, finally pressing his eager mouth to mine. And it was firm, yes, but also strangely soft. Rough stubble grazed my skin as he parted my lips, stroking his tongue against mine. God, it was hot. The pressure of his mouth, the tangle of our tongues. Beer mixed with a hint of something else on his breath put my senses into overdrive. I could feel myself getting hard and didn’t know what the fuck that meant.

  Regardless, I found my free hand gripping the front of his shirt and dragging him closer. He moaned into my mouth and it was deep and sexy, and…I liked it. He must’ve sensed my smile because he pulled back.

  “What?”

  I attempted to keep my face blank, clamp down my smile. “Nothing.”

  “Not nothing,” he countered, staring at my lips. “It feels good, right? I told you I know what I’m doing.”

  “It doesn’t feel bad,” I admitted, surprising myself. A roundabout compliment, but he took it as an opportunity and released me, pushing himself up and rolling a leg over mine to straddle my hips. In what appeared to be an intentional move, he bumped against my chest and his cock brushed my stomach. He was rock hard. I wanted him to rub against my dick so I could see how it felt.

  What the hell was going on with me?

  He slid my arm out from under my thigh and clutched both hands, forcing them behind me against the sofa. “I can feel how hard you are. I turn you on.” It wasn’t a question, and it bugged me that he was so cocky. But he was also right. And I didn’t know the hows or the whys, but he definitely turned me on. “It’s okay to admit it. It’s just the two of us here.”

  “I have a girlfriend,” I shot back. The word girlfriend felt more like a shield than it did the truth. But I wasn’t sure what I was guarding against, and I certainly was not about to offer up that information.

  He grinned like he knew something I didn’t. “I know. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” I tried to make my shoulders taller than they were. “That’s the only reason.”

  “Good. I’m glad we got that cleared up.” He smirked, releasing my hands. “Now take off your shirt.”

  “What?”

  “I want to feel you. Touch your skin.” He gestured toward my shirt. “Take it off.” When I didn’t respond, he added, “Please.”

  Shit. Suddenly I couldn’t move my hands and they were shaking. Kissing was one thing, but touching without clothes was another. I didn’t think I could do it. “I don’t—”

  “Think you can do this.”

  “Yeah.” I let go of a ragged breath. “I thought I could. But I can’t.”

  He didn’t push back which was not at all what I expected. But I was surprised at the amount of disappointment that registered on his face. He covered it quickly. “It’s totally cool.” He climbed off my lap and any heat between my legs evaporated. I made to stand and he laid a hand on my arm. “Hold on. Do you want to hang out for a bit?”

  His question caught me off guard. “And do what?”

  “I don’t know. Listen to music?” He pointed a finger toward the kitchen. “I’m a halfway decent cook. I could make us some food.”

  To buy myself some time, I glanced around the room. My hand flew to the back of my neck. The imprint of his fingers was still there. “Uh, I guess. Sure, why not?”

  He smiled, and it was almost effortless. I saw now why he was so good at this. He did have a certain magnetism, not to mention that he was pretty decent looking for a guy.

  I followed him to the kitchen, which was fucking huge. A large bench-like table flanked one entire wall, while the other two were lined with glass cabinets. “So you’re a cook and an electrical engineer? Seems like an odd combination.”

  He peered at me over his shoulder as he reached into the fridge and pulled out a bag of peppers. “Ah yes, my profile.” As he turned back to face the counter, my gaze wandered to his lithe frame, the strong line of his shoulders, the flex of muscle in his forearms as he chopped up vegetables. He swiveled around, a knowing grin on his face. “I have a certain appeal, don’t I?”

  I chuckled. “Yeah. It’s called ‘cocky as hell.’”

  His lips curved. “Hey, I didn’t get this far by accident. I know my own power, what can I say?”

  “Wow, you
weren’t kidding.” I placed my napkin on the table. “That was good.”

  A grin spread clear across his face and I wanted to wipe it off with my lips.

  What. The. Fuck.

  “I told you I’m not a bad cook.” His tongue did a slow drag across his mouth and my attention was drawn there. “I have a lot of gifts to share with the world. Are my lips as distracting as yours?” he asked, catching me staring. “Because I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes off your mouth.”

  “You have a one-track mind.”

  “Yes,” he agreed, getting up to stack the dishes and carry them to the sink. “And it’s been on the Colt Alexander track for one week now. You might need to help me get it unstuck.” He rinsed the plates and loaded them in the dishwasher. Then he strutted to the table, coming to stand beside me. “Think of it this way. We’ll do what we need to do for your girlfriend and then you’ll be rid of me.” His gaze zoomed in on my lips. “I want to kiss you again.” He bent close, bracing a strong arm on the table. Hot breath fanned my chin. “Just one.”

  He must’ve found the answer he needed in my eyes because he leaned in, pressing his firm lips to mine. Even though his mouth was the only point of contact, he put his all into this kiss. His hands came up to grip my cheeks as he separated my lips and slipped his tongue inside. And I couldn’t help myself, my fingers locked around the belt loop of his jeans to urge him closer. He smiled against my lips but didn’t stop.

  And I didn’t want him to stop.

  I wanted him to keep going. I liked the hot, wet press of his tongue against mine, the way he commanded my mouth. Too soon he pulled back, leaving us both panting.

  “Let’s go to my room.” His voice was raspy, and my hesitancy to take the next step must’ve still showed. “We can go slow. I promise. I’ll ease you into it.” There was no teasing in his eyes then, and I was shocked at how much he wanted me. I mean, I’d seen that look in women, but never on another man. And I was curious about this. About him. So while my mind was saying to run the hell in the other direction, my body coaxed me to rise from the seat and form only one word.