The Mill House

by Susan Lewis

  'Gwen never said, or not to me she didn't. She just told me once I had to stop getting on at him about things, because he found it painful to think about his past, and all what he'd done. Can see what she meant now, if he upped and left his family the way he did. Don't expect that made him feel very good about himself, did it?'

  Julia could almost feel the paleness of her face as she stared at him, then suddenly Fen was at her side, gushing, 'There you are, you will excuse us won't you, Albie, but the vicar's looking for Julia,' and sliding an arm through Julia's she tugged her off towards the bar. 'Not really,' she murmured in

  Julia's ear, 'you just looked as though you needed rescuing.'

  'Yes, I think I did,' Julia responded. 'He's a bit.. .' She struggled for the word.

  'Let's settle for drunk,' Fen suggested.

  Julia smiled, and wondered whether to repeat anything Albie had told her, but the opportunity passed as Fen's husband, Bob, came bearing down on them with a freshly opened bottle of champagne.

  'At last I get to meet you,' he declared, filling their glasses. 'Fen's been talking about nothing else since you arrived. You've made quite an impression.'

  'Darling, you should be offering your sympathies,' Fen gently reminded him.

  Bob immediately looked contrite.

  'Oh no, really,' Julia protested. 'It's lovely to meet you, Bob.'

  'I hope we're going to be seeing plenty of you while you're here,' he said, his smile making him seem boyish, while the thick lenses of his glasses and shock of grizzled hair lent him a distinctly professorial air. 'Fen tells me your husband arrives tomorrow.'

  'Yes, but only to drop off my daughter. He's taking our son sailing over near Chichester.'

  Bob's face lit up. 'He sails! Then he must be a splendid fellow.'

  Fen rolled her eyes. 'Don't get him started, please,' she implored, as her mother joined them. 'Mummy, you've done a splendid job,' she told her, giving her a hug. 'Everyone's having a marvellous time, which is just what Dougie wanted.'

  'It really is a wonderful party,' Julia assured her.

  Laura Bower's face glowed with pleasure. 'Thank you,' she answered graciously. 'They're a very good catering company, we've used them before on a number of occasions.' She turned to Julia, and after checking no-one but close family was in earshot, she said, 'I hope it's not too indelicate to mention the photographs of your children in Dougie's house. Fen told me about them and we're positively agog with the mystery of how they got there. I don't suppose you've found out anything yet?'

  Julia shook her head. 'No. I don't even know who to ask,' she confessed, 'except my mother, but I'm almost certain it wouldn't have been her.'

  'Most curious,' Laura commented. 'I wonder how long he had them.'

  Julia shrugged, and glanced up at Rico as he pined them.

  'Ah, just the person,' Laura declared, and before he could utter a word of protest, she'd seized his arm and was marching him off into the crowd to only she knew where.

  Laughing, Fen turned back to Julia. 'So what did Albie have to say for himself?' she asked.

  Julia was on the point of answering when Peter Bower bundled up bringing a couple of Dougie's old chums with him, and by the time the introductions and condolences were over, Fen had been dragged away by someone else. Bob was eager for Julia to meet his parents, so ushered her over to where they were tucking into the best of the buffet.

  The rest of the day continued in much the same vein, offering little or no opportunity for confidences,

  and by the time David drove her back to the mill it was so late, and she was so tired, that she'd virtually forgotten what Albie had said anyway.

  It would come back to her, she decided as she climbed into bed, but she really didn't want to think about it now anyway, or about the way she and Josh had just been irritable with each other on the phone again, which she thought was probably her fault, but couldn't quite remember. She only wanted to snuggle down under the duvet now and fall fast asleep thinking of how relieved she was that Sylvia was off to New York tomorrow, and how eager she was to see the children in the morning, and Josh, damn him, and how much her father would have loved them all were he only here to meet them.

  Chapter Eight

  As Josh followed Julia's directions though the damp and tangled Cornish lanes, the prospect of seeing her was tightening the band of tension around his head to an almost intolerable degree. It wouldn't go well, he knew it already, not only because of their heated exchange on the phone last night, but because his conscience was giving him a seriously hard time this morning. In fact, since he was about to face her, knowing he'd screwed Sylvia again yesterday, he could only wonder that he hadn't turned the car around by now - except it would make matters a thousand times worse, which was difficult to imagine, considering how had they already were.

  He'd tried telling himself, before going over to Sylvia's, that his only purpose was to end the relationship, but he'd known very well what would happen when he got there, and in truth, it was exactly why he'd gone. He just wished he could stop himself wanting the damned woman, but even thinking about her now, and the way she'd

  opened the door to him, wearing nothing but spike-heeled shoes and a knowing smile, was making him hard. Just pray to God Julia never found out, because he didn't even want to think about what would happen if she did. At least he hadn't agreed to meet Sylvia in New York, in spite of how tempting she'd made it sound, because there was no doubt at all in his mind that if he succumbed it would be the end of his marriage.

  Feeling the sharp bite of irritation dispel his lust, he changed down a gear and forced Patsy past a convoy of caravans. Fortunately both children were asleep now. The early morning start had made them fractious and bolshie so they'd been at each other, or him, almost the entire way, and since he was tired too, after working until gone midnight, and rising again at five to start packing, the journey had been far from fun. As if his conscience wasn't enough to be dealing with, he was having an extremely hard time being anything other than furious at having to take time out of the office next week when he could so ill afford it. Certainly he was sorry about Julia's father, and obviously sorrier still about Sylvia, but were it not for the fact that he'd already promised Dan, and that anything he did contrary to plans was going to be somehow connected to Sylvia, he'd leave both children with Julia today and head straight back to London.

  However, he'd probably feel even worse if he let Dan down, and since Shannon was equally excited about having her mother to herself for a week, he had little choice but to go with the flow. It was just a pity Shannon had changed her tune

  so radically this morning, for last night she'd complained so bitterly about being torn away from her friends in London and everything they were planning for half-term, that he'd thought for a while that he had her on his side.

  Glancing at his watch, he calculated another ten to fifteen minutes before they arrived. He could only hope that Julia had woken up in a better frame of mind this morning than the one she'd been in last night when she'd called sounding drunk or exhausted, or both, and extremely pissed off that he hadn't called her. If she'd checked her mobile she'd have known that he had, several times, but that information hadn't managed to appease her, if anything it had made her worse, which told him that she'd been determined to pick a fight, no matter what. So they'd had one, and out had spilled all her resentment that he hadn't been with her for the funeral, while he'd yelled back the reminder that they had two children to consider, and as far as he was concerned they came before a man who'd ducked out on his family and responsibilities a quarter of a century ago and was somehow still managing to create havoc in their lives now. It was at that point that the phone had gone down.

  They hadn't spoken again since, not even during the calls she'd been making to the children this morning, charting their progress. Even that was annoying him, though not nearly as much as the certainty that she was going to throw Sylvia in his face the minute he arrived.

&nb
sp; 'Are we there yet?' Dan asked, sitting forward to rest his elbows on the two front seats.

  Having been asked that question more times

  than he'd ever want to hear it again, it was with profound relief that Josh was able to say, 'Yes, we're here, son,' and sweeping round a large horse chestnut tree, he accelerated gently over a cattle grid and started down a narrow, tree-lined drive.

  Daniel's eyes grew round as an extremely grand farmhouse came into view. 'Is that it?' he asked, clearly impressed. 'Is that going to be ours now?'

  'No, I think ours is behind this one,' Josh responded, feeling decidedly awkward about the possessive.

  'But that's Mum,' Dan cried excitedly, as Julia broke away from a group of people standing in front of the house and started to wave.

  'Are we here?' Shannon asked groggily as she came awake.

  'There's Mum,' Dan told her, and as Josh brought the car to a stop Dan leapt out straight into his mother's arms.

  'How are you?' Julia cried, holding him tight. 'Let me look at you. Oh my, you've grown so handsome.'

  'It's only been two days,' Shannon remarked grumpily, as she pushed open the car door.

  Julia regarded her with humorously narrowed eyes, until, unable to stop herself, Shannon broke into a smile, and next thing she was springing into her mother's arms too. 'Dad's in a vile mood,' she warned in Julia's ear. 'I'd give him a wide berth if I were you. I nearly killed him on the way down.'

  Josh was coming round the car.

  'Hello darling,' Julia said warmly, though they both knew it was an effort to keep up appearances. 'Did you have a good journey?'

  'If you discount hiccups, car sickness, needing the toilet two minutes after we've left the services and a total inability to be civil to each other, I suppose you could say it was a good journey,' he responded.

  Julia dutifully hugged him and winked at Shannon and Dan.

  'Oh look!' Dan cried ecstatically as a couple of unruly border collies came bounding up to meet him.

  'Sorry! Ottie let them out,' Fen shouted, running after them.

  But Dan was in heaven, trying to get his arms round the dogs as they bounced about in delight and slobbered all over him.

  'This is Fen who I've told you about,' Julia said, linking Josh's arm. 'She's not just the solicitor who broke the news, she's also a great family friend.'

  Josh wondered which family, but refrained from asking, and allowed his inherent good manners to prevail as he shook Fen's hand. 'It's a pleasure to meet you,' he said. 'Julia's told me how supportive you've been.'

  'OK we're happy to help in any way we can,' Fen assured him. 'Her father meant a lot to us. Anyway, welcome to Cornwall and Shallard's Cross. I hope you're going to like it here as much as Julia seems to.'

  'I'm sure I will,' he responded politely, while turning to find out what the shriek coming from the boot was all about.

  'Dad! You forgot to put my make-up case in. I asked you if it was there ...'

  'It's in the bag I brought for Mum,' he interrupted

  as Shannon appeared. 'And you don't need it now.'

  Smiling, Fen went forward. 'You must be Shannon,' she said, cupping the girl's face between her hands. 'How lovely you are. You have to meet Ottilie. She's your age and ... Ottie! Where are you?'

  'Right here, Mum,' a lanky, freckle-faced teenager with a stunning mane of red hair and a sassy expression informed her.

  Fen laughed. 'Sorry darling. This is Shannon, Julia's daughter. I'm sure you two will have a lot in common, so why don't you show her around?'

  Though Shannon didn't appear exactly eager, it was clear to Josh that she was more impressed with the look of Ottie than she'd expected to be, so maybe now she'd accept that Orlando Bloom, Topshop and Notting Hill cool had managed to permeate as far as Cornwall, and have a good time.

  'Right, let me introduce you to everyone else,' Fen said, as the others wandered over to join them. 'OK, father Peter, mother Laura, husband Bob, cousin Rico, and don't worry if you forget their names, they can generally be relied upon to remember them so can remind upon request.'

  Smiling, Josh shook everyone's hands, and was just falling into step with Peter Bower, heading towards the house, when his mobile started to ring. Looking to see who it was, he quickly apologised and turned away to take it, feeling the cut of Julia's glare boring into his back. Well, what the hell was he supposed to do, forget he had any clients or loyalty to them just because she thought he was speaking to Sylvia?

  By the time he'd finished the call everyone had gone inside except Dan who clearly couldn't tear himself away from the dogs, and the two girls, who'd apparently lost no time at all in bonding.

  'Dad, can we get a dog?' Dan asked, looking up from where he was sitting with the delighted- looking beasts either side of him.

  'Not today,' Josh answered. Then stooping down, he ruffled the dogs too, as he said, 'Would you rather stay here with Mum? We can always go sailing another time.'

  Dan's face fell. 'But I want to go now, Dad. You said...'

  'That's fine,' Josh assured him. 'I just thought you might prefer to be with the dogs.'

  'Oh, Josh, there you are,' Fen said, coming out of the front door. 'Thought you might have trouble finding the way. A light lunch is being served in the conservatory, I do hope you're staying long enough to join us.'

  'Of course,' he responded, standing up, and deciding he might as well resign himself to going with this for now, rather than create any more tension with Julia, he followed her inside.

  As it turned out he found the Bowers to be rather good company, particularly Fen's husband, Bob, with whom he discovered he shared several interests, not least of which was sailing. This was a hobby he'd only got into during the past few years, while Bob was clearly an old hand. Yes, he could probably grow to like it here, he was reflecting as he accepted a second helping of the housekeeper's beef in cider stew. Certainly he could think of worse places to be leaving his wife

  and daughter for a week. Under any other circumstances he might even envy Julia and Shannon the break, for such idyllic surroundings certainly had their appeal - though his mind would be too full of what was going on at the office, and the mountain of work he had to get through, to allow himself to relax beyond the weekend.

  ''Lydia, our youngest, is over at a friend's house this afternoon,' Fen was explaining. 'She's off to Italy with Mummy tomorrow ... Oh, by the way, Ottie's not going now, did I tell you?' she added to Julia.

  Josh's eyes moved to his wife as she failed to answer. Her attention, it seemed, was focused on the paddock where Shannon and her new friend were watching the cousin Rico exercising a horse. 'Julia,' he said darkly.

  Startled, she looked at him, and coloured slightly, as she said, 'Sorry, darling. Did you say something?'

  'Fen did,' he told her.

  'I'm so sorry,' she apologised, turning to Fen.

  Fen smiled. 'It's OK. I was just saying that Ottie's decided to stay here this half-term instead of going to Italy, so Shannon will have some company after all.'

  'Why, that's marvellous,' Julia exclaimed. 'Isn't it?' she said to Josh.

  'If you say so,' he responded, not intending to sound rude, only to get under her skin the way she was getting under his.

  Evidently sensing it, she said, 'Are you feeling all right, darling? Tired after the long drive?'

  'I'm fine,' he retorted, wanting to ask, nastily,

  how her hangover was today, but they were in company, so instead he asked if she'd like to show him her father 's house before he left.

  Twenty minutes later, having completed the guided tour, during which he agreed the place was as charming as she'd claimed, he followed her back out onto the porch where he refrained from expressing his true feelings about the mysterious presence of his children's photographs, as they stood watching Dan playing with the dogs. There was still no sign of Shannon, who was supposed to be walking over from the house with Ottilie.

  'I've brought Kincaid's manuscri
pt,' he told her, ducking as a ball whizzed past his ear, followed by Dan shouting sorry. 'It arrived yesterday, by hand.'

  'Thanks,' she said. Then after a beat, 'I expect the car's full of them, isn't it?'

  He looked puzzled, then realising she meant that he was incapable of making a trip without taking his work with him, he said, 'The world doesn't come to a stop just because you've decided to take some time out, you know.'

  'I didn't mean that,' she retorted, 'and I'd hardly call sorting my father's affairs and editing a high- profile manuscript taking time out.'

  A short, difficult silence followed as they watched Shannon and Ottilie emerge from the woods, escorted by Rico, who was leading a sleek, black mare saddled ready to ride. Josh was too preoccupied with his temper to notice the way Shannon was flirting and preening herself in front of the Italian, but Julia hadn't missed it at all. In fact she was reflecting on how lucky it was for

  Shannon that her father wasn't reading the signs, or it was highly unlikely he'd leave her here. He might not want to leave Julia here either, were he able to read some of the thoughts she'd been having about that particular young man lately, but fortunately he couldn't. Actually, considering his own behaviour, she decided he should be thankful that she had herself well under control. It was just a pity he couldn't say the same.

  'So are you still seeing Sylvia?' she asked tartly.

  'No,' he lied.

  'But you'd like to.'

  His jaw tightened. 'Stop trying to put words in my mouth.'

  Noting that he hadn't denied it she turned incredulous, angry eyes to him, but before she could speak, he said, 'I knew you'd be unable to resist throwing it in my face when I got here, so please tell me exactly how you think it's helping.'

  'Oh, I know you'd like it to just go away, to forget it ever happened,' she said tightly, 'but I'm afraid it doesn't work quite like that.'

  Though his entire body stiffened, he said nothing, merely continued to stare out at Dan and the dogs.

  'Whose idea was it?' she demanded. 'Which one of you came up with such a mind-numbingly stupid way of saving our marriage?'