by Tammy Bench
‘Here you go,’ Tom handed her the glass, ‘sorry I should have put this stuff away,’ he sat down next to her and pointed to his work bag.
‘I’ve never liked the taste of that stuff,’ she whispered.
Tom looked down at his beer and then offered the bottle to her. She took it from him and sipped it. The bitter taste made her pull a face.
‘It grows on you, trust me,’ he laughed, ‘you look beautiful, Alice.’
She looked down at herself with a critical eye. She had chosen a short red tartan pleated skirt, black tights and a cashmere black sweater and around her wrist, the bracelet Tom had given her. She thought she looked okay but compared to him she always felt like the ugly duckling.
‘Thank you.’
He sat there next to her. His jeans snug but stylish, in a deep blue long sleeved t-shirt that could have been sprayed onto his chest. Tom had amazing hair, it was so thick and coloured like strong coffee and he always styled it in a – just got out of bed – way. She was definitely the ugly duckling.
She felt so strange sat here in his house. Next to him on his sofa. All she wanted him to do was grab her and touch her. It was obvious neither of them wanted to make any move though. Underneath it all she was so nervous. She knew that tonight she may lose her virginity to this man and that was still a really scary thought.
As if reading her mind Tom spoke.
‘We need to get past this little bit of awkwardness don’t we, baby?’ he whispered taking her hand in his and levelling her with a stare.
‘I feel odd because thinking of you staying here tonight is freaking me out slightly. It means stuff will probably happen that is both going to blow my mind as well as fuck me up…’ he smiled, ‘sorry it slipped out. You’re on edge because understandably you’re with your teacher, who is quite clearly a pervert,’ he smiled, ‘but this pervert needs you to know nothing happens that you’re not entirely happy with.’
‘Okay, pervert,’ she leaned over and kissed his cheek, ‘and thank you.’
‘Do you want to eat?’ he asked.
‘No, not really. I don’t think I could at this moment,’ she smiled at him weakly.
He nodded in understanding, ‘me either.’
‘Look while we’re being honest I have to tell you I’m… really scared. I want to be here more than anything… but you know what you’re doing, Tom. I don’t,’ she fiddled with her hair, ‘what if I don’t do it right? If it’s not good for you? What if I’m a disappointment?’ Alice looked down at her hands.
Had she really just said that to him?
Cringe.
‘Alice, are you really thinking about pleasing me? Are you serious?’ Tom looked the tiniest bit angry.
She nodded.
‘I’m going to love whatever we do, even if it’s just talking. Please know I’m here for you. I may know what to ‘do’ but this is new territory for me too,’ Tom said taking another swig of his beer and leaning to rest it on the little table. He turned to her and moved closer to her side, weaved his large hands into her loose waves and pushed them away from her face, ‘I’d never compare you to anything or anyone. I couldn’t, the way I feel with you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt.’
‘Are you playing me?’ Alice looked into his eyes.
If you thought that you wouldn’t be here now, would you?’ he kissed her nose, ‘Watching you this week in class with your friends it’s been so hard pretending. Then when that boy, Steve from the other night was talking to you yesterday I felt like I was going to lose it in the middle of the dinner hall. I felt so protective and primal it was pathetic.’
‘He thinks you’re a psycho,’ she laughed.
‘Good, where he’s concerned I am. He hasn’t tried anything again has he, or given you a hard time? I’d kill him,’ he lightly kissed her lips, so gentle, despite himself.
‘No, he’s been fine. I don’t think he can remember what went on, he was so drunk… just you grabbing him.’
‘And I remember him grabbing you, the little prick. He ever touches you again…’ he was beginning to rant but Alice cut him off.
‘He won’t Tom, don’t worry.’
Even though he scared her slightly when he was angry it really turned her on that he cared enough to get so angry. Alice watched his face calm again and he flashed her that smile she absolutely loved.
‘Sorry Alice, I’m doing it again,’ he stroked her hair and looked at her with such an intensity she thought she would melt under his eyes.
‘Do you want to go upstairs?’ she asked quietly then.
Tom looked at her. Opened his mouth to speak, stopped for a moment then started, ‘obviously I do, but we don’t have to rush anything, we have plenty of time,’ he reassured her, ‘all night in fact.’
‘I want to go upstairs, Tom,’ Alice leaned over and brushed her lips to his.
‘Alice, do you not want to talk some more?’ he asked her gently.
‘Not right now,’ she replied, ‘I can’t think right now.’
‘I know what you mean,’ he touched her hair again.
‘Do you want to come up with me?’
‘I do,’ his voice was deeper and more intense now.
He stood, his long legs stretching up in front of her and reached for her hand to pull her up beside him, she took it and trembled inside once again.
She was going upstairs to Toms’ bedroom, to let him make love to her and the biggest part of her brain still believed this was all a dream.
THE CLOSER YOU GET
Saturday 25th November
Tom walked up the stairs ahead of Alice. He could hear her footsteps following just behind his own, they reached the top and he took her hand again leading her to his room.
It was a lot tidier than normal and lit by his small nightlight. He hoped it seemed quite cosy and inviting, he didn’t know?
He looked down at her face taking in the new surroundings. She was so perfect and she really had no idea how lovely she was. She bit her bottom lip and cast him a sideward glance.
‘Are you alright?’ he asked staring at her.
‘Yep, good,’ she smiled nervously.
‘Why don’t you sit down,’ Tom took hold of her arms and sat her on the edge of his bed. He had to lighten the mood a bit and try to get her to relax.
‘Okay,’ she watched him walk to the corner of the room, he knelt and put a CD into his stereo.
Tom turned towards her and a romantic country song started to play quietly behind him. She sat on the edge of his bed in front of him, acutely watching his every move.
She was a pure dream. Her body so fluid and her face open and loving. He was obsessed with her and he knew it. But she did look a little bit like a rabbit in the headlights. She was experiencing all this for the first time, he knew this could be hard.
So Tom stopped a few feet away from her, then suddenly and assertively pulled the shirt from his body, dropping it on the floor at his feet. Her eyes widened instantly and her mouth opened half an inch, it was so damn sensual he knew then he wouldn’t have a hope of not seeing this thing through.
‘You don’t have to ask this time,’ he smiled and opened his arms as if he was on display in a shop window and the tension eased marginally.
Alice giggled lightly, ‘I can’t believe I did!’
‘It was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.’
‘Really?’ she said with a hint of sarcasm.
‘Really. I’m not kidding. When you look at me like that… like I’m a bloody prince or something, it’s such a turn on,’ he crouched in front of her.
‘When I look at you I see this hard mysterious warrior with a body to die for and a killer smile,’ she paused, ‘I feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. It started when you smiled at me that first day in registration, you had me in that moment,’ Alice looked
down at her legs and pretended to pick fluff from her tights.
‘Alice, look at me now,’ he whispered.
She looked up at him and he leaned in to kiss her so gently. He drew his arms around her waist and pulled her to the edge of the bed, her legs parted and he slotted himself between her thighs. Kneeling up so their faces were level with one another.
She was trembling again, he really had to do something that was going to stop her thinking too much. Tom grabbed her face and kissed her hard and dominant, the way he would with an older lover. His lips demanded submission, her sweetness flooded him and she fought to follow his lead.
Her hands found his sides and they moved over his flesh, feeling the muscles in his forearms, her little fingers kneaded into his shoulders and he felt her move her body closer to his. Lightly rubbing herself against the edge of his erection. This is what he needed, her body to take over as it had the first night they had kissed. His tongue explored her mouth and a little moan escaped from her chest, making him smile against her lips.
He found the edge of her skirt and gently lifted the hem to her hips. He ran his hands down her thighs, god he wanted these tights off.
Calm down, slow down, don’t lose it.
He pulled away from her for a moment and bent to unzip her boot, ‘shall I take these off? Is that okay?’ he asked as calmly as he could.
She nodded at him, ‘I can do it, you don’t have to,’ she reached down but he pushed her hand away gently.
‘I want to.’
Tom slowly unzipped her black leather boots, removing them from her feet. He held each foot in his hands before placing them on the floor once more, fascinated by how small they were and how they fit so neatly onto his palm.
‘Shall I get undressed now?’ she asked nervously, tucking her hair behind her ears, her eyes moving franticly over his face.
‘Only when you want to Alice and if it’s easier I can do it for you?’ he was hoping she would opt for the latter.
‘Okay, you do it when you want to,’ she agreed.
‘Well that would be now wouldn’t it? I am a man,’ he whispered into her ear and felt her body respond from the sensation of his warm breath.
‘I had noticed,’ she motioned towards his jeans and he actually blushed.
‘Sorry about that, can’t do much about it though,’ he kissed her again and lifted his right hand to cup her breast… her body stiffened, then relaxed instantly. He pushed it upwards, felt its weight. Alice had moved her hands to his hair and was making little circles on his scalp with her nails, distracting his control for a moment.
He moved his body over hers instinctively, forcing her backwards onto his bed then climbed up on to it too. He placed his arms either side of her face and looked down at her. Her eyes were wide and lustful when she returned his gaze.
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this,’ he shook his head.
Alice looked hurt suddenly and fearful, ‘you’re not going to stop are you?’ she asked desperately searching his face for his answer.
Stop?
‘Hell no, no way… not possible.’
Tom began to lift the edges of her top slowly up her body, her midriff, so milky white was exposed to his gaze. Then her white lace bra, the mound of her breasts sitting like cushions beneath.
‘Can I take this off?’ he said bending to kiss her stomach. Her body quivered again, ‘you’re so fucking beautiful.’
Alice reached up to help him pull her top over her head, Tom kissed down the side of her neck, trailing them on to her chest and kissing her lace covered breasts. He gently moved one cup aside and sucked her perfect nipple into his mouth. Her taste exploded onto his tongue, like vanilla. He sucked hard on it while she moaned quietly and fidgeted underneath him.
‘Tom please, I need you to do something… something more, I need you,’ Alice’s voice was insistent and she thrust her lower body towards him. Gripped his strong back and tried to pull him down on top of her.
He didn’t move, he just looked at her. He had wanted to take this really slowly but he could see her losing control of her body. Her eyes, heavy-lidded begged him to either explain what was happening or fill the void.
‘I don’t want to rush you, Alice. You’re not ready,’ he said seriously.
‘Yes, I am,’ her voice was nearly a shout.
‘Just relax,’ he coaxed, moving his mouth back to her breast.
Alice bucked him off with an upward thrust of her hips, ‘I need you now. Do you understand?’
Tom nodded.
Jesus.
The sensual but playful atmosphere that had filled the room moments ago was replaced with a heavy curtain of need. Not just hers, but Tom’s also. He was trying so hard to do this right for her, repressing all his instinct to just rip the clothes from her body and skip the foreplay altogether.
‘Tom,’ she moved her hands to cover her face and pulled at her hair. She was so full of frustration. He didn’t want to make her feel like that.
‘Okay, okay let’s do this, if you’re sure?’ he pulled her hands away.
‘Very sure,’ she flung her head back on the pillow.
‘Okay,’ Tom moved down her body to the little fastening on her skirt and pulled it open, he slid the material down her body and dropped it to the floor, ‘these too?’ he nodded at the tights.
‘Yes,’ she closed her eyes tightly in relief.
He could do this, he could, he kept repeating to himself.
Alice was beneath him, trembling, his thumbs hooked in the waistband of her tights, she moved her back slightly off the bed as he gently tugged them down her slender legs.
This was his biggest fear about being with her. The nervous look on her face when she thought he wasn’t looking. He had to act like he knew what he was doing for her benefit. Yes, he knew how to fuck but the unknown element of first time sex was a different thing altogether and a bloody scary thought right now.
He looked down at her white lace knickers, her lovely legs, and her perfect skin. He looked at her lying on his duvet, it’s design he no longer recognised despite sleeping on it every night… he could do this?
Alice moved her hands over his stomach and started to open his jeans impatiently. He gently took hold of her hand, ‘just a minute, baby,’ he whispered.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.
‘I just need to know that you know this might… this is really awkward… this might not be great for you at first. I don’t want to scare you but this might hurt a bit. I’ll make it as easy as I can I promise, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. If it hurts I’ll stop,’
I’ll try and stop, he thought to himself in disgust.
‘I know. I know this could be uncomfortable but I don’t care. I’m scared, but the thought of you being the one to do this is so amazing I honestly don’t care how painful it is.’
He hoped she was right.
Tom kissed her again and moved off the bed. He stood next to it and began to unbuttoned his jeans. She turned her head to the side and watched him intently.
‘Can’t I do that?’ she smiled.
‘Not this time, baby. I need to keep this together,’ he laughed.
Inside he prayed.
THE FIRST TIME
Saturday 25th November
He looked breath-taking. There was no other way to describe him.
He stood at the side of his bed, opened the button of his jeans and pulled them down his muscular legs. The low light cast shadows over his body making it look even more fantastic. If it was possible for your mouth to water over a man, then hers was saturated.
She watched him step out of his jeans and kick them aside and her eyes drew back up to his torso. She wondered, awestruck, how a teacher got a body like that?
He wore a pair of snug fitting boxers, low on his hips and when her eyes
met the very obvious bulge she couldn’t look away. He moved back over to the bed and stared down at her.
Tom stroked his hand over her hair and down her body, skimmed her stomach and moved her legs slightly apart, she shivered with anticipation and longing.
‘I’m never going to forget this moment,’ she breathed.
‘Me either, you are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen. You’ve no idea how lucky I feel to be with you like this,’ he smiled, his dimples appearing, her most favourite thing in the whole world.
Tom climbed onto the bed. Over her, on her and his mouth lowered to hers and kissed her hard. Their mouths moulded together and the electricity returned instantly, she gripped his back, holding on to him. Tom moved his body between her legs and she felt his hand at the elastic of her knickers. A little noise left her throat and she pushed her pelvis forward to encourage him.
Where was this coming from?
Alice felt a tug and heard material tear. The next thing she knew her underwear was being deposited onto the floor as Tom had actually just ripped the lace knickers from her body.
‘Oh my…’ Alice gasped and more erotic sensation washed over her.
His fingers drifted lightly over her skin, while his lips totally dominated. She felt herself slipping over a line of arousal she hadn’t reached before and she wanted him so desperately nothing else in the world mattered. If she died moments after they make love it would be okay, as long as this happened right now.
Tom’s hand pushed between her legs carefully and his fingers moved expertly over her untouched flesh. She was now shaking uncontrollably, she tried to stop herself but couldn’t.
‘Fuck,’ Tom cursed and reached a hand out to his bedside drawer and she followed what he was doing. He took out a condom and opened it quickly.
He was actually going to do it.
Tom pulled his boxers off with his free hand and Alice couldn’t help but look, she wanted to see his penis. Glancing down between their bodies she caught sight of it. It looked huge and it stood jutting upwards towards his stomach, engorged and angry.