The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1)

by Tammy Bench

  He had spent half an hour of his lunch break setting the room.

  ‘Clever little things aren’t they,’ she whispered back looking at him.

  ‘Yes, they are. Let’s get some chairs, Miss Rutherford,’ Tom held out his arm towards the prop room on the right. Alice walked in and he followed, her strawberry scented hair catching him of guard as she passed.

  He loved that smell.

  ‘If you hear anything, grab one and walk out,’ he motioned to the plastic pile of stackable chairs.

  ‘Can we be us now?’ Alice reached out for his hand and he moved to her quickly.

  ‘Fucking hell Alice this has been a nightmare,’ he held her face in his hands and stared at her. He was totally insane for this girl, he knew that now, ‘I can’t do this, five days is too long.’

  ‘I know it’s been horrible. I kept imagining vaulting your desk and ripping your shirt off,’ she laughed nervously.

  Tom pushed his lips to hers and again the instant amazing connection knocked him for six. How he had got to this age and never felt a kiss like this he would never understand?

  They had about ten minutes before the bell would ring. It wasn’t enough. He ran his hands over the contours of her body, pulled her waist tighter to him. Her arms circled his neck, holding his mouth to hers.

  He skimmed his palms over the curve of her breasts and on the left side of the sweater he felt the school emblem embroidered there. This should have been a wakeup call, but now it just made him even hotter for her.

  His hands were everywhere, lifting her skirt to touch her legs, tugging her hair. Shit, he felt like he was a drug addict that didn’t know where and when his next fix would come.

  Eventually he stopped and looked at her, she was flushed and breathing hard.

  Tom felt he would never get used to only being able to see her for stolen moments and random nights. He wanted her all the time. With him all the time.

  ‘We haven’t much longer, baby. We better get straightened out,’ he looked away from her feeling the effects of their parting already.

  ‘Are you alright?’ she whispered.

  Shit, his heart was messed up in this now.

  ‘Fine baby, just wish it wasn’t like this, you know?’ he watched her nod her head.

  ‘I wish I was older,’ she said as he turned away to pick up his bag.

  ‘Don’t wish yourself different for me Alice, please.’

  ‘How can I not? If I was your age, we could just be normal.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Can we see each other after school?’ she said pulling his arm round for him to face her, ‘You could pick me up on the gated road behind the old RAF base. No one uses that road. I’ll wait for you?’

  ‘Yes, okay if you’re sure you can?’ relief filled his voice, ‘if we couldn’t have seen each other this weekend I may have had to kidnap you,’ he answered smiling.

  ‘What an awful experience that would have been for me,’ she said smiling back.

  Captivating.

  Tom laughed loudly. She had a wonderful way of turning the hard part of their relationship, light and easier to deal with, ‘have I told you that you’re amazing?’ he smiled and held her hands tightly.

  ‘Only about a hundred times,’ she joked.

  ‘Have I told you that you’re beautiful?’ he tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

  ‘Once or twice,’ she replied helping him with the strand that he was fumbling with.

  Tom breathed in and lifted her chin with his hand, ‘have I told you I’m falling in love with you?’

  What’re you doing!

  She looked at him like she hadn’t heard him right and he smiled back in reassurance. Tears filled her eyes, ‘…never.’

  ‘Well I’ll have to work on that, won’t I?’

  God, he was a fucking, sad, love sick puppy.

  ‘Twice is good,’ she whispered.

  ‘I love you, Alice Rutherford. I should have told you last weekend but I was an idiot,’ he was officially crazy, but he didn’t care.

  ‘You know how I feel, I’ve never hidden it,’ she said wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

  ‘A man likes to hear it too,’ he said pulling her hand away from her face. It was shaking hard or was that his?

  ‘I love you, Tom.’

  PARKED

  Friday 1st December

  I love you, Alice Rutherford.

  Have I ever told you that I’m falling in love with you?

  I love you, Alice Rutherford.

  A cold rough wind blew around Alice’s legs. Her thick navy tights were doing nothing to keep the biting chill at bay. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably, something she had found amusing forty-five minutes ago, but now her jaw ached. She didn’t care. The light was fading fast and she stood on the edge of a very lonely road, but she would wait all night if she had to. Tom had to do teacher stuff after school but he promised to get away as soon as he could. Alice glanced at her watch again, it was a quarter to five.

  I love you, Alice Rutherford.

  She smiled again. Every time she thought of it her heart flipped over.

  I love you.

  When he got here were they going to make love again? She prayed they were. She needed to be with him again, she needed to hear his soft accent and feel his man’s hands touch her. She wanted desperately to give everything she was to him, let him know that he as good as owned her, but that would come across as so needy and a bit crazy so she decided against it.

  A set of headlights rounded the corner about 500 yards from where she stood. It was travelling fast. As it got closer she recognised the colour and make. A rush of arousal charged down her body. In the dewy dusk she could see the shape of his shoulders. He stopped the car sharply alongside her and jumped out.

  ‘Are you alright?’ he moved to her quickly and ran his hands down her arms, ‘I’ve never been down this road before... it’s so deserted, it could be really dangerous on your own,’ he sounded annoyed and worried. She liked it.

  ‘It’s okay. I was getting more worried about freezing to death than the local serial killers,’ her teeth chattered again as if on cue.

  ‘Sorry, sorry. I should have just left straight after lessons and fuck the consequences. I will next time I promise. I’m such a dick, you’ve been standing here waiting for me and I’ve been listening to shit, that means nothing,’ Tom said half to himself.

  He opened the door and settled her in, placing her school bag on the back seat. The car smelt of him, woody male, mixed with his chewing gum. Alice ran her hand over the prickly fibres of the seat and she traced her fingers along the horizontal red lines in the fabric. One of those little tree air fresheners hung from the rear view mirror. She was making memories again. Her eyes followed him as he walked in front of the car, slide into the driver’s seat and slam the door with gusto.

  ‘Sorry you have to really pull it, it jams,’ Tom looked at her with a goofy grin.

  ‘What?’ she asked.

  ‘Nothing… well you’re in my car, I just like it… that you’re around me. When you were in my house it was the happiest I’ve ever felt there. Now when I look at my bed it makes me smile to know that you have slept in it. I’m turning into a pussy, I know that,’ he laughed at himself and shook his head.

  ‘I think I’m going to cry again,’ Alice whispered looking at him.

  ‘No please, I can’t have the tears. It’s too adorable. Forget what I said I’ll change it,’ he joked, ‘I look at my bed and all I think about is screwing you again, any better?’

  ‘Take me there!’ she joked back.

  He smiled and raised his eyebrows. There was not one minute in his company that she didn’t think she was the luckiest girl in the country. The more time she spent with him the more attractive he became.

  ‘How much time
do we have?’ he asked.

  ‘I phoned mum from the box outside school, said I was going to Cara’s for dinner and to hang out, she won’t expect me before ten and it is a Friday too,’ Alice looked over at him, but he seemed worried.

  ‘Will she check up on you? I don’t want you in trouble with your folks,’ he asked running his hand over his forehead.

  ‘Tom, I’m a good girl. I’m seventeen and my parents trust me. I have never given them a reason not to. I don’t like lying to them, but no, they won’t check on me,’ she said placing her hand on top of his. She hated him worrying all the time.

  He smiled at her and turned the key in the ignition.

  ‘You’re not a good girl.’

  ‘Where are we going?’ her body felt so high to be around him, she felt like a bit of a freak because all she could think of was having sex with him, ‘is it too dodgy to go to yours again?’

  ‘Probably, but I don’t just want to drive around and waste our time together,’ she watched the annoyed twitch in his jaw.

  ‘Tom, I’m wearing my school uniform, if anyone saw…’

  ‘I know. I know, baby,’ he leaned across and kissed her.

  ‘Tom, I don’t want to waste any time driving round at all. No one has passed me on this road all evening so just pull up on the set aside down there,’ she pointed ahead of them, ‘turn off your headlights, leave the heating on, it’ll be cosy…’

  ‘You’ll freeze,’ he looked serious.

  She turned to him and raised her eyebrows, ‘Will I?’

  ‘No,’ he laughed and flung the car into gear. He pulled forward two hundred yards into a secluded field entrance and killed the lights. It was now as good a pitch black outside and the only light they had was from the small vanity mirror on the passenger side.

  ‘I’ve got some drinks in the back if you’re thirsty?’

  ‘I’m okay at the moment, thank you,’ she replied willing him touch her.

  ‘I can’t believe we haven’t been able to speak about last weekend,’ he finally said, the words tinged with guilt, ‘have you been okay?’

  ‘I’ve been fine, just empty without you.’

  It had been hell.

  ‘Me too,’ he sighed.

  A heavy curtain of anticipation hung between them, they both needed the same thing but felt that some sort of conversational courtesy was that right thing to do.

  ‘I can’t believe you love me,’ she said, finally turning round in her seat to face him. She watched his expression, amused and intense at the same time.

  ‘I can’t believe you can’t believe it. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known,’ he meant it.

  ‘Have you looked in the mirror recently, Tom? You could have anyone you wanted.’

  It was a constant worry of hers that he would suddenly realise she was just a plain teenage girl.

  Tom chuckled, ‘you only think I’m handsome because I’ve brainwashed you.’

  ‘Me and the three hundred other girls at school, right?’ she asked.

  Tom shrugged his shoulders.

  ‘Are there other girls at our school? I hadn’t noticed,’ he leaned to kiss her again.

  Alice grabbed at him and pulled herself over the gear knob and onto his lap.

  ‘You’re so fucking hot, Alice,’ he said between her scattering light kisses on his mouth.

  Alice grinned to herself. She loved so much the way he talked when he was turned on, it gave her a confidence that she was doing things right, the way he wanted. She kissed down his neck and slipped her hands inside his coat, the warmth of his body amazed her. She could feel his erection beneath her, she moved her hand to it and she looked at him as if for permission to continue and his eyes urged her on.

  She slid off his lap, onto the floor of the car, between his legs. She heard him catch his breath. She had wanted to do this since the first day she had seen him. It filled a lot of her daydreams, taking power back from this dominant male creature.

  ‘You don’t have to do this, Alice,’ he looked down at her as she worked on the button of his trousers.

  ‘I really want to,’ her eyes pleading with him not to stop her. She moved her hand over his erection, gripping it and she began to stroke it gently up and down. It felt amazing in her hands so smooth, velvety even, but strong. Tom moaned and he pushed his head back into the head rest and closed his eyes. She lowered her mouth to him but she had no idea what the hell she was doing? Her lips covered the head and she kissed it. It suddenly swelled even larger, so she did it again, harder this time.

  Tom gasped and this time she felt him tremble. Alice parted her lips and drew her mouth over him a little bit, it just about fitted in her mouth. He tasted wild and she loved it.

  She started to move faster, moving lower each time. Tom’s breathing quickened and his hands fisted in her hair, slightly stinging her scalp. She raked her teeth gently against his hot flesh. She could actually do this and it was affecting him.

  ‘Wait baby, enough,’ he suddenly said through gritted teeth, hauling her head from his lap. She pulled away in protest and tried to move back to him.

  ‘I can’t hold out like this, you’re killing me, Alice.’

  ‘Good. Let me carry on.’

  ‘You know what happens if I let you carry on?’ he asked. His voice heavy with arousal and his face serious in the darkened shadows of the car.

  ‘I’m not totally clueless,’ she breathed.

  ‘Okay,’ he let go of her head and she continued eagerly.

  Three minutes later he exploded in her mouth. She didn’t know what she had been expecting? It was shocking and disturbing, but so good. Another intensely erotic moment she knew she would never forget.

  She sat on the floor of his car in the middle of winter. Looking up at her teacher… no, her lover and in the shadowy light he gazed back towards her. Staring at her like she was the only girl in the world and she knew then that this was going to change her forever.

  CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

  Saturday 9th December

  The town had two late night shopping days on the approach to Christmas and for the last few years Alice, Ellie and Emily had chosen to leave their gift buying until then.

  The Christmas lights had been switched on two weeks ago by a local radio DJ, the large tree was up on the Market Square and Santa had a makeshift grotto at the back of Woolworths. It felt festive and Alice felt in love.

  Her parents had started playing the Christmas albums at supper time. Stephanie was getting excited about what she was expecting. Snooping in their parents’ bedroom when they were out, looking for presents. Then excitedly telling Alice, ‘I think I found one of yours, guess what it is?’ Alice would guess, as she did every year, but the difference this time was all she could think about was Tom.

  Every part of her felt alive and different. Everything she picked up to look at, as they shopped, had her thinking a million thoughts, all Tom related. She couldn’t rationalise them or even fully understand them but she needed to feel them, like it was her whole existence.

  ‘I need to get aftershave for my dad, don’t let me forget,’ Emily mumbled to them picking up a beaded necklace and holding it to her face in the mirror.

  ‘Is that for your mum?’ Alice asked absentmindedly.

  ‘For me,’ she replied smiling.

  ‘We’re shopping for others, Emily. Friends and family remember?’ Ellie added.

  ‘So, which one of my two friends wants to buy me this necklace for Christmas?’ she laughed.

  They paid at the till for their purchases and adding another bag to their collection, the plastic cutting into their palms, leaving white indentations. Alice thought that it would be wonderful if pulling a tartan shopping trolley thing like her nana had was considered cool.

  ‘I’m sure some of these shop assistants have been drink
ing the complimentary mulled wine, they seem way too happy working late,’ Emily said as they walked out of the shop into the cold.

  They pulled their coats around them and retrieved their gloves from the pockets.

  ‘It’s Christmas! People are happy!’ Alice smiled a cheesy smile.

  ‘Probably had a good night,’ Emily replied with a wink.

  Ellie coughed, trying to hide her embarrassed laugh.

  Alice closed her eyes for a second. Her mind drifting again. Tom was above her, supporting his weight on his forearms, looking down at her. Her body is shaking with a mind of its own, despite her attempts to mentally stop the reaction, she can’t. Damn, they had just made love for the first time, now he wanted to do it again. She is so high on him, she can’t wait, but her body is still strangely nervous.

  ‘Alice?’ he whispered then, his voice the ultimate turn on.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘When I have disgusted myself by the fantasy of doing this with you…and I’ve thought about it a lot,’ he screwed up his face in shame, ‘…it never felt as right as this moment does.’

  ‘I know,’ she whispered.

  Tom bent his head and kissed the tip of her nose gently, then her cheek… a little firmer. He trailed his lips to her neck and nuzzled her. He lifted his mouth back to hers and that was it… whatever it is that takes over two people in this situation. So strong and dictatorial, it cannot be denied.

  She felt him push between her legs again, still a little painful but easier this time. She remembered the sound that escaped her mouth… and the tension in Tom’s arm muscles.

  She turned her face away from him and his strong hands, brought her back to face him, holding her still. The way she had watched him, watching her, was almost too much. Too real to accept and too sensual. She wanted to look away again, so it would lessen the feelings building inside her body and brain. She didn’t think she could deal with this level of intensity…

  ‘Alice, what are you doing?’ Ellie grabbed her arm, bringing her back to reality, ‘you were standing there with your eyes closed and mouth open like you were catching flies.’