Long Lost

by Sommer Marsden

  “Don’t get yourself upset, dear,” Mr O’Dell said. “Our Ruby is made of strong stuff. Why don’t we just get some nibbles and let her get herself together.”

  Ellis led them to the dining room and pointed to Samuel who promptly found me. He sat across from me, big elbows on big knees and said. “You okay, kid?”

  “I’m fine. I haven’t felt right these last couple of days. I keep chalking it up to this empathy crap…” I eyed him. “Jeesh. Sorry.”

  He grinned at me—his face handsome, sun worn and indeterminate as far as age—and shrugged. “Hey, I’m not an empath. I am strictly a psychic medium. The medium part of it is only sometimes considering it weirds me. I tend to shield myself to that particular talent.”

  “You can do that?”

  “Sure can. And I can teach you to shield yourself.”

  “I’m not even sure it’s that. I thought it was holiday stress, though I love it here. I literally am in love with Town. If you can be in love with a place, I am. And then I thought it was stress about the news. And then stress about Tyler and then stress that everyone was coming. But it’s more than stress and it’s more than powers but I don’t know what it is.”

  He stared at me. I waited for the words of wisdom and encouragement.

  He opened his mouth… “Hunh,” he said.

  “Hunh? That is what I get? Hunh?” I put my head back down, laughing now.

  “Sorry.”

  I faced him and caught a fleeting glance. Something as murky and fast as a silverfish in low tide, barely discernable but definitely there.

  “What?” I said.

  “What, what?”

  An emotion rushed through me—not mine—unease, worry, sadness, and an urge. And urge to….divulge something.

  “What?” I demanded again, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “What, Ruby?” he said, but his eyes were a touch too wide and his voice a touch too high.

  “What are you not telling me, Samuel Soriano?”

  “I—” he stammered.

  “Tell me,” I said. “Do you know why I am so off kilter? Is this some weird wolf thing? Mate thing? Psychic thing? Crazy woman thing?”I babbled.

  “Look, Ruby, I shouldn’t be—” But then his eyes flew wide and he sat back.

  “Samuel,” Ellis said. “The meat is served. We have pork, we have beef, we have lamb. Why don’t you go help yourself?” Ellis said.

  I looked up at him and again caught this fleeting, zippy, flittering something in his look, too. This time the unnamed whatever was on the face of the man I loved.

  What the hell?

  Samuel stood so fast his feet didn’t do their job and his knees folded right back up dumping his ass back on the sofa. Then laughing nervously, he did it right and hurried off to the buffet where Bertie was waiting for him.

  Everyone was laughing, having fun. I had yet to talk to Tyler or Peabody in person and I hadn’t even met the girl Madeline. But for now—for right now—I needed to deal with this look I kept spotting.

  Although with Ellis I couldn’t read him. I couldn’t pick up on his emotions any more than the average wife with her husband. It was the wolf thing, I think. But I was grateful. I wouldn’t mind that extra spousal insight, but I’d go mad if I had to feel all the stuff Ellis felt on a regular basis. The word intense is comical when trying to describe him. Ellis makes intense look laid back.

  “What are you not telling me?” I breathed.

  His eyes shifted from unreadable to concern. “Little Bird, I’m just worried about you. Everything is fine. I promise.”

  “Ellis,” I said, almost weeping.

  “We can talk later. It’s nothing to worry about.”

  Irrational—and I damn well knew it—fear rocketed through me and I started to cry. “My God, you’re leaving me!”

  Ellis’s blue eyes flew wide. “What? Wha—Lord, no, Ruby. My life would end without you.” He dropped to his knees and cupped my face in his hands. “Breathe, sweetheart.”

  “I am breathing!” For some reason I wanted to hit him. Then he started laughing and I really wanted to fucking hit him.

  “It will be okay.”

  “What will? It’s Christmas and there are all these people and a vampire and…” I could feel my lungs constricting and my throat following suit. “A bear,” I whispered fiercely. “A girl who just lost her sister, two old people, a Samoan psychic and the diner waitress who ratted me out to you so that we ended up getting married. You and Samuel both keep getting these weird looks. I feel sick and then I feel angry. And then…oh, maybe it’s PMS!” I said suddenly, changing tracks.

  He looked surprised and then relieved. “Yes, that must be it. It’s fine, Little Bird. We need to get you some food and you need to take several hundred deep breaths.”

  Now that amused me and I started to laugh. I looked up at my husband from under my eyelashes and said, “Holy crap. I’m insane.”

  He grinned. “Nope. You are not insane. And you are very much the love of my life. My long, crazy life. And I am not going anywhere.” He pulled me into his arms and held me. “Now that I have you, I’m never letting you go,” he said in my ear.

  Someone cleared their throat and we both turned. It was Peabody.

  “Very sorry to interrupt Ruby, but we need to chat. And I wanted to introduce you to Madeline.”

  She stepped into the room and her energy and her feelings slammed me like a punch. Fear, worry, anxiety…something else I couldn’t pinpoint. She was a sea of tortured emotions. So completely worked up that she was almost calm. As if her whole system had short-circuited.

  I rocked back on my heels and Ellis steadied me.

  My first reaction to this girl was to shy away from her because I felt so fucking overwhelmed, but one look at her face melted my heart and I cracked. “Come here, Madeline. Come here, honey.” I held my arms wide and this girl—who looked very much like me when you got right down to it—rushed at me weeping.

  “Good girl. I love you,” Ellis said in my ear.

  Her body hit mine and rocked me back on my heels again and Ellis’s big warm hand was there to steady me.

  “It’s okay,” I said in Madeline’s ear. “I am so, so sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry this happened. This should never happen to anyone. Ever,” I told her. “But you’re safe here. We won’t let anyone hurt you. None of us. Not Ellis or me or Tyler or Peabody. No one. There is now a whole town looking out for you and we’ll figure it all out. Okay?”

  “You sure about this?” It was Tyler. His voice was soft, his eyes hard.

  “I am.”

  “Where will she be?”

  “With you or us,” I told him, trying to keep my voice level.

  “Where will I be?”

  “There’s an apartment across the street that’s vacant. The wolf there died and had no kin beyond a niece who has her own place. It’s an apartment only in name. The bottom floor is a warehouse for books, so the upper floor spans the entire building. It’s like a small town in and of itself. Plenty of room for you and Peabody and Madeline,” Ellis explained.

  “Or she can stay with us,” I said quickly and hugged her.

  Tyler shook his head. “I don’t think so. Something’s off with you.”

  I blinked and Ellis’s lips narrowed down to a flat line that looked nothing like his normal generous mouth. “She’s fine.”

  They stared each other down for a moment and then Tyler shrugged. “Whatever. The point is, we can take care of her just fine. And we’re right across the street so if Ruby needs to come play mamma kitten she’s right here.”

  I nodded, my eyes shooting to Samuel. I wondered if this was the love of Tyler’s life he had predicted. This poor traumatized girl.

  I felt gratitude drifting off of her toward Ty. I also felt a touch of attraction. But I could not read him or Peabody. Just like I couldn’t read Ellis. Again, I considered it a blessing. I’d just have to be average human snoopy to find out if Tyler had any feel
ings toward Madeline that went beyond vampire warden.

  “Good, it’s settled then,” I said and hugged her again. “My name is Ruby in case you haven’t figured that out. That’s Ellis and that’s Samuel and that’s Roberta.”

  She nodded to them all and I said, “Eat? Can you eat?”

  “A little.”

  “Okay. Good. Peabody can you help this girl get some food?”

  “Can I ever!” he boomed and led her back to the buffet.

  They all filtered back out for food and drink and the atmosphere shifted. More peaceful, more calm. Eating, drinking, merriment. Good.

  I turned to Ellis and he leaned in and kissed me.

  “God, Ellis, I’m not sick, am I?”

  “No, Ruby. Not sick,” he said.

  “Promise?”

  “I do.”

  Chapter 6

  It was at the buffet table that it hit me. I’ve never been one for math. I was about to pop yet another chunk of very rare roast on my plate—I couldn’t seem to get enough of it tonight—when bam! Math epiphany.

  Peabody had been pouring wine all around. I had waved it off yet again because it just didn’t smell good to me. When my brain finally kicked into gear, I dropped my fork and said, “Jesus Christ!”

  Everyone looked up. Ellis had an unreadable expression and so did Samuel. Everyone else was just surprised.

  A burble of laughter flew out of me and the room seemed to spin a little. “Sorry, sorry. I’m sorry everyone. I just…I mean…go on with your eating! We have some great desserts to put out later. I just need…to run upstairs.” I moved fast but carefully as I felt pretty damn unsure on my feet. I was half in the living room with my back to our guests as I called in my best fake everything-is-a-okay voice. “Ellis! Could I see you for a moment?”

  I ran up the steps as fast, but again, as carefully, as possible. He was in the bedroom on my heels before I’d even turned to confront him. This time the sound that ripped out of me was a sob.

  “Were you not going to tell me?”

  My hands were shaking.

  “Ruby—”

  “I mean, you do know don’t you?”

  “I suspected, but I—”

  “But you weren’t going to tell me?” I roared. And then I did something completely un-Ruby-like. I took off my festive ballerina flat and threw it at him.

  Ellis plucked it from the air and grinned. “Throwing footwear at me now.”

  “I know,” I said. “I feel so juvenile. I can’t seem to get control of my…” I started waving my hands in front of my face, trying to focus, trying to fan myself and instead I just started crying again.

  “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, Ellis. I’m…I’m…I’m pregnant, aren’t I?”

  I dropped to the bed and put my face in my hands. I heard him shut and lock the door and then he was on his knees before me. Yet again. This was getting to be a habit.

  “I think you are, baby.”

  Huge embarrassing snuffling sobs kept swelling up out of me. I couldn’t even speak I was crying so hard. “Why did you t-t-tell me!” I demanded.

  “For several reasons. I wasn’t sure, for one. And I didn’t want to freak you out if it was just…wishful thinking.”

  That made my heart crimp in my chest. When he touched my hair—ever so gently—that great thundering muscle flexed again. It was a good thing I loved him or I might have to kill him.

  “You could smell it on me couldn’t you?” I hissed.

  That was the greatest hurdle for me with the whole wolf thing. They could smell everything. Fear, lust, greed, malice, and yes, apparently, babies who were the size of lima beans at this point.

  “A bit.”

  I frowned at him.

  “It still doesn’t make sense,” I said. “You tell me everything. There had to be a reason you didn’t at least tell me you suspected.”

  He frowned, his handsome face growing serious, his eyes growing darker so that aubergine shard in his blue eye truly showed. “Because I’m not sure it’s good news and I figured two more days before we found out for sure would be okay.”

  “Why would it not be good news?” I shook my head. Now I was really confused. “Oh. My. God.” I sobbed.

  This emotion shit sucked, I have to say.

  “No, Ruby. No. Don’t—“

  “You don’t really love me,” I sighed. My nose was running and my eyes were literally streaming. My gut hurt from crying and I worried then that I was harming the baby. I tried to rein myself in. “You realized you made a mistake,” I babbled.

  Then I threw myself back on the bed like some dramatic movie heroine.

  Ellis sighed. A mighty sigh. And then he crawled over me and pinned me down with this bulk. “Listen to me, woman. Are you listening?”

  He wouldn’t let me look away from him and I felt that fear-tinged lust I always felt when he presented himself dominantly to me. “Yes.”

  It was barely a word. More a puff of air.

  “Good. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure. I love you more than my own arms and legs, Ruby, and I would hack every one of them off before I’d leave you or lose you or see you come to harm. Do you hear me?”

  I nodded, my eyes full of tears but my body had calmed.

  “Say it,” Ellis said.

  “Yes. I hear you.”

  “Good. There is a problem with the pregnancy and that is why I didn’t say anything. And because I wasn’t sure until…”

  “Until Samuel showed up,” I finished.

  He nodded, but remained silent.

  “He knew. He could feel it.”

  “Yes.”

  “So why—”

  “I didn’t say anything then because I wanted to talk to you alone. Just you and me—as it should be given the situation.”

  “What’s wrong with it?” I asked, feeling a huge aching pit open in my stomach for a tiny creature I had not known about or expected. And now I sensed it was in danger and it hurt so bad it stole my breath.

  “A wolf has never gotten a human pregnant to fruition.”

  “To frui—you mean I’ll lose the baby because you’re a wolf and I’m a regular old boring human.”

  “Ruby!”

  “Just a plain person,” I babbled.

  “Ruby, it’s not your fault. It’s genetics. It’s never happened. And it probably never will.”

  “I can’t give you kids? I can’t give you a family?” I whispered.

  This was an entirely new ball of hurt bouncing around inside of me.

  “You are more than enough.”

  “What man…what pack Alpha doesn’t want a family? Heirs?” I said.

  “Of course I did. I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t. But if it is a choice between you and heirs, it’s you, Ruby. And we have many children here in Town who are in our lives. You do not need to—”

  “I’ll have it,” I said. “I’ll find a way.”

  “Ruby,” he said. His voice was so gentle, so patient, it broke my heart. He was trying to soothe me. I was the failure and he was trying to soothe me. “Honey, there is nothing you can do. They usually spontaneously abort in a few weeks. There really is nothing—”

  “Well, I’ll try harder,” I insisted. “Harder than any human mate ever has. I will try. Okay? Good, good,” I said. I wasn’t going to listen to him tell me I couldn’t.

  Someone knocked and my heart jumped. “Don’t let it be Tyler,” I whispered. “I can’t. Not now. Not right now.”

  “Shh,” he said to me. And to the doorway. “Not a good time. Sorry, we’ll be down—”

  “It’s Samuel,” came the muffled voice.

  Ellis frowned. “Yes, well, Samuel, I’m sorry. We’re—Ruby’s not feeling well and I’m trying…it’s just not a good time, man,” he finally said.

  “I can help,” Samuel said.

  My heart did a little stutter step in my chest and I shivered. “Let him in,” I said.

  “Ruby—”

  “Le
t him in!” I yelled. I had passed irrational and had turned the corner to crazy woman territory.

  The door opened on a big, lumbering, chagrined Samuel Soriano. “I’m sorry. I was trying to butt out. But I know. I saw it coming before we arrived.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, still shivering. Ellis sat me up and wrapped a throw around me before pulling me in with his big, warm arm. “How can you help?”

  Samuel ran a hand through his super short hair. He blew out a sigh. “It’s not guaranteed. I know that wolf and human has yet to be successful as far as offspring.”

  Ellis was tense and still.

  I felt like such a colossal failure I had to bite my tongue to keep from weeping again.

  “Go on,” Ellis said, but he already sounded defeated.

  “This one could work. This pregnancy. Due to prophecy and Ruby coming into her talents and…well, for lack of a better word, magic.”

  I blew out the breath I had been holding. “See,” I said a bit too brightly. “See! It will be fine. I’ll carry to term. I’ll stay in bed if I have to. I’ll do whatever they say. I’ll…”

  “There is still a risk,” Samuel said.

  The room went silent. No sound. None of us even dared to breathe.

  Ellis’s fingers tightened on my arm and he pulled me against him tighter. “Go on.”

  “What I’m seeing—and I could be wrong—” He held up his hands like we were arresting him.

  “Go on,” Ellis said shortly but not unkindly.

  “The birth I see is very hard. It is not long, but it is rather…” He looked away and had to force the words out, “Well, it could be pretty bloody and violent.”

  I shivered but continued to listen. Somewhere along the line I had started clutching Ellis’s hand so hard my knuckles were white. “And?”

  I knew what he was going to say before he said it, for I saw the flash in my own mind. I held my breath and waited while he said it.

  “There could be biting and tearing and wounds and…”

  Ellis muttered, “Fuck.”

  “And it will turn Ruby, most likely. When the birth is done, the child should be fine, but Ruby will be a wolf.”

  Chapter 7

  “But I keep the baby? We get the baby? I won’t lose it?”