Failing Test: Book One of The Shadow Series

by J. M. Pierce

  ****

  Nicole sat in her bedroom anxiously waiting for Test. She was thinking about the get-together tonight and whether or not her parents would find out, but more than that, she was thinking of him. She had known him since grade school and had always been attracted to him, though she had never acted on it. She didn’t know exactly what it was about him, but there was no denying the intrigue. Part of it was that he was always quiet and always something of a mystery. Another part of her attraction to him was the way that he stuck to his own ways and didn’t really try to fit in. Most of all, she loved the way that he looked at her. His eyes made her feel warm and beautiful. She had never heard him say an unkind word about anyone. She admired the fact that he truly seemed to be the nicest guy in the world, although there had been one time that she had seen his temper.

  It was a sunny day in junior high. Directly after school, Test and his friend Mark were hanging around on the bleachers next to the football field. Nicole was getting warmed up for cheerleading practice, secretly watching Test as he stood on the top row of the bleachers. Mark was standing in front of the bleachers on the black asphalt track. That was when she noticed Rick Daily, a starting lineman for the football team, approaching them.

  The coach had wanted Test to play on the football team, but he didn’t have any interest. The coach was persistent and asked him several times, but Test politely declined each time. In refusing to play, he had angered the coaches and alienated himself from the players.

  Rick was a beast of a kid for his age. He wanted to make it clear to Test that he didn’t have a problem with him not playing football, but the consequence of that choice was that he wasn’t to be seen anywhere near the field either. Somehow in Rick’s young teen mind, this made sense. Rick stepped slowly up the bleachers toward Test.

  With each step, Rick’s voice grew louder. “Get out of here, Davis!”

  Frightened but holding his ground, Test braced for a fight. Mark was now at the base of the bleachers, yelling at Rick to knock it off. Rick paid Mark no mind. Test, his attention on Rick, didn’t realize that his right foot was practically off the top bleacher. As Rick took one more step, Test took his last, into open air.

  She remembered the nauseated feeling in her stomach as she watched him fall, remembering the event as if it had originally played out in slow motion. She would remember the point of impact . . . if there had been one. What she saw was so illogical that it was something that could have easily been blamed on the bright sun. Instead, she was never able to convince herself of anything but what she had seen. To her, it appeared that he had stopped falling just inches above the ground. There was a small puff of dust, but no blunt sound of impact, no injuries, and no immediate reaction from Test. Instead, after the abrupt eight-foot drop and stop, he quickly jumped to his feet. She watched as he began climbing the back side of the bleachers toward Rick, who stood waiting triumphantly above. After only a couple of steps up, Mark grabbed Test from behind and dragged him to the ground. Test’s eyes were flaming with anger as Mark pulled him with arms around his waist to the parking lot.

  From that day on, she not only noticed Test, she was fascinated by him. She had never mentioned a word about that day to anyone. She knew that she could never convince anyone of a story so strange, especially of a boy so “normal.” All the same, her friends knew she had a thing for him. On more than one occasion, Heather and Tracy had given her grief for staring at him across the auditorium during assemblies. When she was faced with a crowd, he was always the one she searched for.

  It was now just a few minutes until five o’clock, and she was eager for the chance to spend some time alone with him.

  ****

  The Barracuda rumbled noisily down the street. Test looked left and right at the monstrous homes that filled the neighborhood. Lush and wide-branching oak trees covered the street with a canopy of leaves that filtered the daylight, creating a strobe effect as the intermittent rays bounced off the windshield. Although the day was still full of sun, the wind had now changed direction, and thunderstorms were building in the southwest.

  As he pulled up to her house, he gazed at the magnificence of the two-storied home that seemed encased by the shadows of the early evening sun. Elegantly shaped trees stood watch on each corner of the yard while tall plumes of pampas grass bordered the drive. It was a completely different world from what he knew. He reached for his rearview mirror and adjusted it to show his reflection. In a final attempt to convince himself of his own self-worth, he looked at his reflection and gave himself one last word of encouragement. Stepping out on to the street before anxiety could get the better of him; he stood tall, resting his left hand on the roof of the car as he slammed the door shut.

  There was a cool chill in the air, and the wind was beginning to blow a little more intently. He looked to the house and could see Nicole peering out from behind the curtains of the front door. The endorphins rushed through him, charging him with excitement. He couldn’t understand how he had reached this point. He remembered telling Mark earlier in the day that it was going to be a good day, though he had never dreamed it would have led to this.

  He walked up the drive, looking up every other step or so to see if she was still watching him. As he stepped to the front door and reached for the doorbell, the large and ornate door opened majestically.

  Nicole stood in the doorway displaying the most beautiful smile that he had ever seen. She had shed her sundress for a pink tank top and tight jeans, and was now barefoot.

  “Hey!” she said excitedly.

  He struggled to keep his nervousness hidden. “What’s up?”

  There was a brief and awkward silence. His attempt at being suave did not come off as well as he had intended.

  “Come in. I’ve been waiting for you.” Her voice quivered with nerves of her own.

  Test walked through the door and was amazed at the size of the Paxton home. Pristine hardwood floors covered every inch of the foyer and hallway. Nicole’s mother, Kathy, collected all sorts of antiques. Every piece of furniture, every wall hanging, and every rug looked as if it should be on display in a museum somewhere.

  Her father was Tom Paxton. He owned a construction company in Lincoln. Test had considered working for him in summers past but had never followed through with it. It wasn’t that he was lazy; he just didn’t want to entertain the possibility of failing Nicole’s dad and, in turn, failing any chance that he had with her.

  Nicole gently tugged at the bottom of his shirt and walked away, speaking softly with each step. “Let’s go into the living room and get a little more comfortable,” she said playfully.

  Test followed, taking notice of her scent as she walked by him. It was an intoxicatingly soft smell. He wanted to say something, but he was so afraid of sounding like a fool that he remained silent.

  As they entered the living room, Nicole sat on the bench in the bay window. She invited him to sit by her, gently patting the seat with her right hand. His pulse was racing, and once again, he struggled not to let his nerves get the better of him. She asked you, he silently reminded himself. He sat beside her and smiled bashfully.

  “So, did you have any ideas at all for your poem?” he asked.

  She stared at him intently, wishing that she could put her feelings into action. Instead she could only respond in a shy and quiet voice. “Not really. I was hoping that you could help me with all of it?” she replied.

  He had never seen her like this. She always seemed so strong and in control. It was strange for him to see her in such a soft way. Though he didn’t think it possible, he was now more attracted to her than ever before.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I can. What do you like? What’s your favorite thing?” he asked.

  “I think my favorite thing is watching a clear night sky, especially outside the city. Have you ever seen a nighttime country sky?”

  Test became excited. “Yes, when I would go to visit my grandparents on their farm. Night skies in the country are i
ncredible!” he replied emphatically.

  Nicole had worried about what they might have in common, and this proved to be a good start, but while she was proud of herself for making a connection, the uncomfortable silence quickly returned.

  “Okay, so now what?” she asked as she straightened her legs in front of her.

  Suddenly, Test felt a large amount of pressure. He hadn’t really thought about writing the poem at all today. Until now, it had just been about being with her. He scanned the room quickly looking for inspiration, and before he could psych himself out, the words came to him. With a confident smile, he looked to her and replied, “All I need is a pen and a paper.”

  Nicole got up and walked across the room to an old crank-type phone hanging on the wall. Under was a shelf with paper and pens.

  Test couldn’t help but watch her every movement. He was entranced by her. As she turned back to him, he quickly looked to his hand resting on his lap. He hoped that he hadn’t once again been caught in the act of admiration.

  Nicole returned to her seat, pen and paper in hand. He took them from her and immediately wrote while she hovered over his shoulder.

  Nicole noticed that his breathing had become deep and relaxed, unlike it had been when he arrived. She could tell he had been just as nervous as she was.

  In minutes, Test looked up and handed her the paper. Amazed at how fast he had come up with something, she read.

  “When daylight is here I dream of the night,

  The stars of a country sky that shine so bright.

  A night sky without clouds, for the moon to hide under,

  Revealing every twinkle and every beam, of the Milky Way’s wonder.

  I grow sad in the morning,

  And I pay the day no mind.

  Every time I see the light coming,

  I know the sunset’s not far behind.”

  Nicole flushed and realized she was attracted to him on a level that she wasn’t sure of. She looked at him in amazement.

  “This just came out of you? It’s amazing.” The attraction burned. “You’re amazing,” she said softly, parting her lips slightly.

  Test looked deeply into her eyes and leaned toward her. Before he could reach his destination, Nicole jumped back.

  “I mean you’re an amazing writer. I have to thank Marcy for recommending you,” she said, flustered, fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat.

  Before Test could reply, the doorbell rang. Nicole quickly jumped out of her seat and seemingly sprinted to the foyer. “Excuse me while I get that!” She spoke quickly with her back to him.

  As she walked away, Test watched her with a furrowed brow and sinking stomach. “Sure,” he replied, frustrated.

  Test leaned back in his seat, peering out the bay window to see who was at the door, but from his angle he couldn’t see who it was. He heard the front door open and shut, followed by the sound of pointed heels on hardwood floors. He quickly moved, sat up in his seat, and tried to relax. The footsteps had stopped, and he could hear whispering in the next room. Suddenly, a shrill high-pitched voice that could belong to only one person came echoing through the room.

  “Hey, Test!”

  It was Tracy, and standing right behind her was Heather.

  “Hello, Tracy,” he replied, smiling. Intimidated, he looked at Heather and said hesitantly, “Hello, Heather, how’s it goin’?”

  Heather, silent, wore a sinister and demeaning grin on her face, making him feel like a speck of dirt under her shoe. He wasn’t sure what he had done to earn such a low-ranking position in her world, but he knew that this was not how he had this night planned.

  “So, Nicole, the men are going to be here around seven; so what’s the plan?” she asked bluntly as she glanced to Test.

  Test knew what she meant, and the itch of irritation began.

  “Who’s that, Heather?” he asked, needing to scratch the itch.

  Nicole looked at Heather with tight lips and a tensed jaw.

  “Chad and Justin will be here around seven,” said Nicole, looking fearfully at Test.

  His heart stopped. Chad Cooper and Justin Evans were the alpha males in the school. Chad was the starting quarterback, and Justin was the number one wide receiver for the football team. It was common knowledge that Chad was seeing Heather, and Justin was with Tracy. Aside from having football in common, they could have been clones had it not been for Chad having black hair and Justin blond. Both were tall and muscular, had crewcuts, and had giant egos.

  Test stood up slowly. Mute from anger, he struggled with the political correctness of the words eager to burst from his mouth. He knew that with Heather in the room, a wrong word could cause much anguish for him at school the next day. Swallowing his pride, he shot Heather a smile.

  “Nicole, can I talk to you for a second in the other room?” he asked politely, still smiling at Heather.

  Hesitating, and with a quick glance at the girls, Nicole replied, “Uh . . . yeah, sure.”

  As she bounced on her toes, she turned gracefully towards the foyer. Following her cue, Test turned, and the two walked across the room.

  “Excuse me,” he said to the girls as he passed. The glare from Heather could have burned a hole through concrete.

  Once in the foyer, he was face-to-face with Nicole. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but with Heather and Tracy in the next room, how became even more difficult. Did he risk having at least this much of a relationship with her in order to have more? This was the time. He had to do it. He knew that if he left without telling her, the regret would tear at him all night long.

  “Nicole,” said Test, his voice trembling with fear.

  “Yes, Test,” replied Nicole, half wanting to hear what he was about to say and half not.

  “You know, I can remember the first time I saw you.” He paused, noticing Nicole watching him intently. “I remembered thinking then that you were the most beautiful girl that I’d ever seen.”

  Nicole’s gaze intensified. She held her breath, waiting for his next word.

  “I still think you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he said as he touched her hand reluctantly.

  Nicole smiled. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to kiss him.

  Test continued. “I think about you all the time. I catch myself looking for you everywhere. I . . .” He choked on the words. This was it, the moment that he had been dreaming about for years. He struggled to let it out. As if slipping through a crack in the dam, the words spilled from his mouth. “I really think of you as more than a friend. Do you ever think of me that way?”

  From the next room came a giggle. Nicole’s eyes opened wide with fear, and now instead of looking at him intently, she couldn’t look at him at all. With her arms now crossed and her face bright red, she spoke as she stared downward.

  “I’m flattered, but I don’t know. Let me think about it, okay?” The words left her lips in a long and drawn-out breath.

  Test felt like he had just taken a sledgehammer to the face. The entire day had built to this moment of failure. He was dizzy with emotion at the realization that Heather and Tracy had been in the next room listening to every word. He stood stiffly, looking over Nicole’s shoulder at the wall.

  Nicole looked at his expressionless face and watched him seemingly melt away.

  “Are you okay?” she asked painfully.

  Bursting into animation, he replied, “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? It’s fine, Nicole, no big deal.” He shoved his hands into his pockets with his shoulders held high and stood jittery and unable to focus.

  Are you okay? he thought. Are you kidding me? Wanting nothing more than to remove himself from the moment, he turned to the door.

  “It’s just hot in here,” he replied. “I have to go. I hope Mrs. Baker likes your poem.” He forced himself to take one last look at her angelic face, hoping that she would suddenly change her mind. Her eyes told him that something was still there, but her words were clear.

  As he walked out the
door, he turned and closed it gently behind him. He stood on the porch and took a moment to breathe, noticing the sound of rolling thunder all around him. Slowly he walked what seemed like a mile to get down the driveway to his car. With every step, he felt the weight of disappointment.

  Finally, he reached the Barracuda. Once in, he slammed the door shut and gripped the steering wheel tightly, making his knuckles turn white from the pressure. The front edge of the thunderstorm was now beginning to hit, and large raindrops were beating on the roof of the car. With no headliner, the drops echoed loudly in his ears. He looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror with disgust. Rage built inside.

  With every second that passed, his mind raced and twisted to the point of delirium. His hands felt as though they were on fire; his vision blurred. Hands to face, palms facing out, he put pressure on his eyes with the backs of his hands. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly, trying to pull himself together. Upon opening them, a flash of lightning snapped in front of him, sending a charge of energy surging through him. He glanced at his rearview mirror once more. Instead of seeing his reflection, he noticed Chad and Justin pulling up into Nicole’s driveway. He watched Chad quickly get out of the car with his chest inflated and arms flexed. Posing in the rain, he yelled over the thunder.

  “Hey, Test, where you goin’? Hey, nice ride there, buddy!”

  Test reached for the ignition. Before he could touch the key, it turned in the switch, and the Barracuda came to life. Without hesitating, he mashed the accelerator to the floor and dumped the clutch. As the rain poured down, he took off sliding sideways down the street, shooting trails of water in the air behind him. What he didn’t know was that, from her second-story bedroom window, Nicole was watching him drive away with tears in her eyes.

  Chapter 3

  Meltdown

  She was torn. Part of her wanted him to stay, while another part wanted him to leave. Nicole now wished that she hadn’t asked Heather and Tracy over. She actually wondered what she had been thinking. She knew that they didn’t necessarily care for Test, but didn’t think that they would have ever been so blatantly callous. Dealing with them was not easy at times, but they were still her friends; at least that’s what she’d thought. They weren’t always like they were a few minutes ago. She sat for another couple of minutes, staring out the window while she tried to rationalize everything in her mind. Tired of arguing with herself, she turned and walked to her vanity to fix any makeup mess that her tears had created. Once she was able to deem herself presentable, she walked slowly to the door, took a deep breath, and went back down the stairs to rejoin everyone.