Winnie-The-Pooh and All, All, All

by Alan Alexander Milne

  "Oh! Piglet," said Pooh excitedly, we're going on an Expotition, all of us, with things to eat. To discover something."

  "To discover what?" said Piglet anxiously.

  "Oh! just something."

  "Nothing fierce?"

  "Christopher Robin didn't say anything about fierce. He just said it had an 'x'."

  "It isn't their necks I mind," said Piglet earnestly. "It's their teeth. But if Christopher Robin is coming I don't mind anything."

  In a little while they were all ready at the top of the Forest, and the Expotition started. First came Christopher Robin and Rabbit, then Piglet and Pooh; ther Kanga, with Roo in her pocket, and Owl; then Eeyore; and, at the end, in a long line, all Rabbit's friends-and-relations.

  "I didn't ask them," explained Rabbit carelessly. "They just came. They always do. They can march at the end, after Eeyore."

  "What I say," said Eeyore, "is that it's unsettling. I didn't want to come on this Expo – what Pooh said. I only came to oblige. But here I am; and if I am the end of the Expo – what we're talking about – then let me be the end. But if, every time I want to sit down for a little rest, I have to brush away half a dozen of Rabbit's smaller friends-and-relations first, then this isn't an Expo – whatever it is – at all, it's simply a Confused Noise. That's what I say."

  "I see what Eeyore means," said Owl. "If you ask me -"

  "I'm not asking anybody," said Eeyore. "I'm just telling everybody. We can look for the North Pole, or we can play 'Here we go gathering Nuts and May' with the end part of an ants' nest. It's all the same to me."

  There was a shout from the top of the line.

  "Come on!" called Christopher Robin.

  "Come on!" called Owl.

  "We're starting," said Rabbit. "I must go." And he hurried off to the front of the Expotition with Christopher Robin.

  "All right," said Eeyore. "We're going. Only Don't Blame Me."

  So off they all went to discover the Pole. And as they walked, they chattered to each other of this and that, all except Pooh, who was making up a song.

  "This is the first verse," he said to Piglet, when he was ready with it.

  "First verse of what?"

  "My song."

  "What song?"

  "This one."

  "Which one?"

  "Well, if you listen, Piglet, you'll hear it."

  "How do you know I'm not listening?" Pooh couldn't answer that one, so he began to sing.

  They all went off to discover the Pole,

  Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all;

  It's a Thing you Discover, as I've been tole

  By Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all.

  Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh

  And Rabbit's relations all went too -

  And where the Pole was none of them knew...

  Sing Hey! for Owl and Rabbit and all!

  "Hush!" said Christopher Robin turning round to Pooh, "we're just coming to a Dangerous Place."

  "Hush!" said Pooh turning round quickly to Piglet.

  "Hush!" said Piglet to Kanga.

  "Hush!" said Kanga to Owl, while Roo said

  "Hush!" several times to himself, very quietly.

  "Hush!" said Owl to Eeyore.

  "Hush!" said Eeyore in a terrible voice to all Rabbit's friends-and-relations, and "Hush!" they said hastily to each other all down the line, until it got to the last one of all. And the last and smallest friend-and-relation was so upset to find that the whole Expotition was saying "Hush!" to him, that he buried himself head downwards in a crack in the ground, and stayed there for two days until the danger was over, and then went home in a great hurry, and lived quietly with his Aunt ever-afterwards. His name was Alexander Beetle.

  They had come to a stream which twisted and tumbled between high rocky banks, and Christopher Robin saw at once how dangerous it was.

  "It's just the place," he explained, "for an Ambush."

  "What sort of bush?" whispered Pooh to Piglet. "A gorse-bush?"

  "My dear Pooh," said Owl in his superior way, "don't you know what an Ambush is?"

  "Owl," said Piglet, looking round at him severely, "Pooh's whisper was a perfectly private whisper, and there was no need – "

  "An Ambush," said Owl, "is a sort of Surprise."

  "So is a gorse-bush sometimes," said Pooh.

  "An Ambush, as I was about to explain to Pooh," said Piglet, "is a sort of Surprise."

  "If people jump out at you suddenly, that's an Ambush," said Owl.

  "It's an Ambush, Pooh, when people jump at you suddenly," explained Piglet.

  Pooh, who now knew what an Ambush was, said that a gorse-bush had sprung at him suddenly one day when he fell off a tree, and he had taken six days to get all the prickles out of himself.

  "We are not talking about gorse-bushes," said Owl a little crossly.

  "I am," said Pooh.

  They were climbing very cautiously up the stream now, going from rock to rock, and after they had gone a little way they came to a place where the banks widened out at each side, so that on each side of the water there was a level strip of grass on which they could sit down and rest. As soon as he saw this, Christopher Robin called "Halt!" and they all sat down and rested.

  "I think," said Christopher Robin, "that we ought to eat all our Provisions now, so that we shan't have so much to carry."

  "Eat all our what?" said Pooh.

  "All that we've brought," said Piglet, getting to work.

  "That's a good idea," said Pooh, and he got to work too.

  "Have you all got something?" asked Christopher Robin with his mouth full.

  "All except me," said Eeyore. "As Usual." He looked round at them in his melancholy way.

  I suppose none of you are sitting on a thistle by any chance?"

  "I believe I am," said Pooh. "Ow!" He got up, and looked behind him. "Yes, I was. I thought so."

  "Thank you, Pooh. If you've quite finished with it." He moved across to Pooh's place, and began to eat.

  "It doesn't do them any Good, you know, sitting on them," he went on, as he looked up munching. "Takes all the Life out of them. Remember that another time, all of you. A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference."

  As soon as he had finished his lunch Christopher Robin whispered to Rabbit, and Rabbit said "Yes, yes, of course," and they walked a little way up the stream together.

  "I didn't want the others to hear," said Christopher Robin.

  "Quite so," said Rabbit, looking important.

  "It's – I wondered – It's only – Rabbit, I suppose you don't know, What does the North Pole look like?"

  "Well," said Rabbit, stroking his whiskers. "Now you're asking me."

  "I did know once, only I've sort of forgotten," said Christopher Robin carelessly.

  "It's a funny thing," said Rabbit, "but I've sort of forgotten too, although I did know once."

  "I suppose it's just a pole stuck in the ground?"

  "Sure to be a pole," said Rabbit, "because of calling it a pole, and if it's a pole, well, I should think it would be sticking in the ground, shouldn't you, because there'd be nowhere else to stick it."

  "Yes, that's what I thought."

  "The only thing," said Rabbit, "is, where is it sticking?"

  "That's what we're looking for," said Christopher Robin.

  They went back to the others. Piglet was lying on his back, sleeping peacefully. Roo was washing his face and paws in the stream, while Kanga explained to everybody proudly that this was the first time he had ever washed his face himself, and Owl was telling Kanga an Interesting Anecdote full of long words like Encyclopedia and Rhododendron to which Kanga wasn't listening.

  "I don't hold with all this washing," grumbled Eeyore. "This modern Behind-the-ears nonsense. What do you think, Pooh?"

  "Well, said Pooh, "I think – "

  But we shall never know what Pooh thought, for there came a sudden squeak from Roo, a splash, and a loud cry of a
larm from Kanga.

  "So much for washing," said Eeyore.

  "Roo's fallen in!" cried Rabbit, and he and Christopher Robin came rushing down to the rescue.

  "Look at me swimming!" squeaked Roo from the middle of his pool, and was hurried down a waterfall into the next pool.

  "Are you all right, Roo dear?" called Kanga anxiously.

  "Yes!" said Roo. "Look at me sw – " and down he went over the next waterfall into another pool.

  Everybody was doing something to help. Piglet, wide awake suddenly, was jumping up and down and making "Oo, I say" noises; Owl was explaining that in a case of Sudden and Temporary Immersion the Important Thing was to keep the Head Above Water; Kanga was jumping along the bank, saying "Are you sure you're all right, Roo dear?" to which Roo, from whatever pool he was in at the moment, was answering "Look at me swimming!" Eeyore had turned round and hung his tail over the first pool into which Roo fell, and with his back to the accident was grumbling quietly to himself, and saying, "All this washing; but catch on to my tail, little Roo, and you'll be all right"; and,Christopher Robin and Rabbit came hurrying past Eeyore, and were calling out to the others in front of them.

  "All right, Roo, I'm coming," called Christopher Robin.

  "Get something across the stream lower down, some of you fellows," called Rabbit.

  But Pooh was getting something. Two pools below Roo he was standing with a long pole in his paws, and Kanga came up and took one end of it, and between them they held it across the lower part of the pool; and Roo, still bubbling proudly, "Look at me swimming," drifted up against it, and climbed out.

  "Did you see me swimming?" squeaked Roo excitedly, while Kanga scolded him and rubbed him down. "Pooh, did you see me swimming? That's called swimming, what I was doing. Rabbit, did you see what I was doing? Swimming. Hallo, Piglet! I say, Piglet! What do you think I was doing! Swimming! Christopher Robin, did you see me – "

  But Christopher Robin wasn't listening. He was looking at Pooh.

  "Pooh," he said, "where did you find that pole?"

  Pooh looked at the pole in his hands.

  "I just found it," he said. "I thought it ought to be useful. I just picked it up."

  "Pooh," said Christopher Robin solemnly, "the Expedition is over. You have found the North Pole!"

  "Oh!" said Pooh.

  Eeyore was sitting with his tail in the water when they all got back to him.

  "Tell Roo to be quick, somebody," he said. "My tail's getting cold. I don't want to mention it, but I just mention it. I don't want to complain, but there it is. My tail's cold."

  "Here I am!" squeaked Roo.

  "Oh, there you are."

  "Did you see me swimming?"

  Eeyore took his tail out of the water, and swished it from side to side.

  "As I expected," he said. "Lost all feeling. Numbed it. That's what it's done. Numbed it. Well, as long as nobody minds, I suppose it's all right."

  "Poor old Eeyore! I'll dry it for you," said Christopher Robin, and he took out his handkerchief and rubbed it up.

  "Thank you, Christopher Robin. You're the only one who seems to understand about tails. They don't think – that's what's the matter with some of these others. They've no imagination. A tail isn't a tail to them, it's just a Little Bit Extra at the back."

  "Never mind, Eeyore," said Christopher Robin, rubbing his hardest. "Is that better?"

  "It's feeling more like a tail perhaps. It Belongs again, if you know what I mean."

  "Hullo, Eeyore," said Pooh, coming up to them with his pole.

  "Hullo, Pooh. Thank you for asking, but I shall be able to use it again in a day or two."

  "Use what?" said Pooh.

  "What we are talking about."

  "I wasn't talking about anything," said Pooh, looking puzzled.

  "My mistake again. I thought you were saying how sorry you were about my tail, being all numb, and could you do anything to help?"

  "No," said Pooh. "That wasn't me," he said. He thought for a little and then suggested helpfully: "Perhaps it was somebody else."

  "Well, thank him for me when you see him."

  Pooh looked anxiously at Christopher Robin.

  "Pooh's found the North Pole," said Christopher Robin. "Isn't that lovely?"

  Pooh looked modestly down.

  "Is that it?" said Eeyore.

  "Yes," said Christopher Robin.

  "Is that what we were looking for?"

  "Yes," said Pooh.

  "Oh!" said Eeyore. "Well, anyhow – it didn't rain," he said.

  They stuck the pole in the ground, and Christopher Robin tied a message on to it:

  NorTH PoLE

  DICSovERED By PooH

  PooH FouND IT

  Then they all went home again. And I think, but I am not quite sure, that Roo had a hot bath and went straight to bed. But Pooh went back to his own house, and feeling very proud of what he had done, had a little something to revive himself.

  Chapter 9

  ...in which Piglet is entirely surrounded by water

  IT rained and it rained and it rained. Piglet told himself that never in all his life, and he was goodness knows how old – three, was it, or four? – never had he seen so much rain. Days and days and days.

  "If only," he thought, as he looked out of the window, "I had been in Pooh's house, or Christopher Robin's house, or Rabbit's house when it began to rain, then I should have had Company all this time, instead of being here all alone, with nothing to do except wonder when it will stop." And he imagined himself with Pooh, saying, "Did you ever see such rain, Pooh?" and Pooh saying, "Isn't it awful, Piglet?" and Piglet saying, "I wonder how it is over Christopher Robin's way," and Pooh saying, "I should think poor old Rabbit is about flooded out by this time." It would have been jolly to talk like this, and really, it wasn't much good having anything exciting like floods, if you couldn't share them with somebody.

  For it was rather exciting. The little dry ditches in which Piglet had nosed about so often had become streams, the little streams across which he had splashed were rivers, and the river, between whose steep banks they had played so happily, had sprawled out of its own bed and was taking up so much room everywhere, that Piglet was beginning to wonder whether it would be coming into his bed soon.

  "It's a little Anxious," he said to himself, "to be a Very Small Animal Entirely Surrounded by Water. Christopher Robin and Pooh could escape by Climbing Trees, and Kanga could escape by Jumping, and Rabbit could escape by Burrowing, and Owl could escape by Flying, and Eeyore could escape by – by Making a Loud Noise Until Rescued, and here am I, surrounded by water and I can't do anything."

  It went on raining, and every day the water got a little higher, until now it was nearly up to Piglet's window... and still he hadn't done anything.

  "There's Pooh," he thought to himself. "Pooh hasn't much Brain, but he never comes to any harm. He does silly things and they turn out right. There's Owl. Owl hasn't exactly got Brain, but he Knows Things. He would know the Right Thing to Do when Surrounded by Water. There's Rabbit. He hasn't Learnt in Books, but he can always Think of a Clever Plan. There's Kanga. She isn't Clever, Kanga isn't, but she would be so anxious about Roo that she would do a Good Thing to Do without thinking about it. And then there's Eeyore And Eeyore is so miserable anyhow that he wouldn't mind about this. But I wonder what Christopher Robin would do?"

  Then suddenly he remembered a story which Christopher Robin had told him about a man on a desert island who had written something in a bottle and thrown it in the sea; and Piglet thought that if he wrote something in a bottle and threw it in the water, perhaps somebody would come and rescue him!

  He left the window and began to search his house, all of it that wasn't under water, and at last he found a pencil and a small piece of dry paper, and a bottle with a cork to it. And he wrote on one side of the paper:

  HELP!

  PIGLIT (ME)

  and on the other side:

  IT'S ME PIGLIT, HELP


  HELP!

  Then he put the paper in the bottle, and he corked the bottle up as tightly as he could, and he leant out of his window as far as he could lean without falling in, and he threw the bottle as far as he could throw – splash! – and in a little while it bobbed up again on the water; and he watched it floating slowly away in the distance, until his eyes ached with looking, and sometimes he thought it was the bottle, and sometimes he thought it was just a ripple on the water which he was following, and then suddenly he knew that he would never see it again and that he had done all that he could do to save himself.

  "So now," he thought, "somebody else will have to do something, and I hope they will do it soon, because if they don't I shall have to swim, which I can't, so I hope they do it soon." And then he gave a very long sigh and said, "I wish Pooh were here. It's so much more friendly with two."

  When the rain began Pooh was asleep. It rained, and it rained, and it rained, and he slept and he slept and he slept. He had had a tiring day. You remember how he discovered the North Pole; well, he was so proud of this that he asked Christopher Robin if there were any other Poles such as a Bear of Little Brain might discover.

  "There's a South Pole," said Christopher Robin, "and I expect there's an East Pole and a West Pole, though people don't like talking about them." Pooh was very excited when he heard this, and suggested that they should have an Expotition to discover the East Pole, but Christopher Robin had thought of something else to do with Kanga; so Pooh went out to discover the East Pole by himself. Whether he discovered it or not, I forget; but he was so tired when he got home that, in the very middle of his supper, after he had been eating for little more than half-an-hour, he fell fast asleep in his chair, and slept and slept and slept.

  Then suddenly he was dreaming. He was at the East Pole, and it was a very cold pole with the coldest sort of snow and ice all over it. He had found a bee-hive to sleep in, but there wasn't room for his legs, so he had left them outside. And Wild Woozles, such as inhabit the East Pole, came and nibbled all the fur off his legs to make Nests for their Young. And the more they nibbled, the colder his legs got, until suddenly he woke up with an Ow! – and there he was, sitting in his chair with his feet in the water, and water all round him!