Always Yours

by Shelly Jones

  “Jesus Eric! You’re just going to give up? Be a man and show her how you feel, be the man, no, be the friend she needs. She’ll come around,” he says with a smile.

  How in the hell does he know this? “I’m not giving up dad, but I’m not going to chase her. She’s not the only one fucked up.”

  “Eric Michael Reed, don’t you dare compare your pain to hers, because I will kick your ass right here, right now,” he says in a stern tone that I know means he will.

  I take another shot of whiskey and finish my beer. “On that note dad, I’m out. I’m going to bed.”

  “Eric, just think about what I said. Ok?”

  “Sure thing dad,” I say walking up stairs.

  Going into my room, I grab my phone out of my back pocket and check to see if I have any missed calls. I have four missed calls and six text messages. I scroll through them and look at the call log. “What the hell,” I say out loud looking at the call log. All four missed calls are from Heidi. I throw my phone across the room. That is one person I do not want to deal with, now or ever.

  I go into the bathroom and take a shower. While the water is running over me, my mind wanders. It was three weeks ago that I walked in on my soon to be Mrs. Reed having sex with our next door neighbor in our house. Heidi and I lived in Chicago and I had a full time job as a firefighter. I got off from work a couple hours early and I was going to surprise Heidi by cooking and having a romantic dinner. Yep, I was the one who got the surprise of a life time. She’d been sleeping with the neighbor for six months before I found out. After that, I grabbed everything I wanted and needed out of the house, and left. She’s been calling and texting me ever since. I refuse to talk to her or see her. She means nothing to me.

  My parents have agreed to let me stay for as long as I need to. My firehouse is pissed at me, but my sergeant said he’d give me a good reference if I decide I want a job up here at one of the fire stations. Honestly, I don’t know what I want to do yet.

  I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist. I wipe the fog off the mirror and look at my pathetic ass in the mirror. “The one girl, the one girl who loved you, you tossed away like she was garbage, and now you want to make it right? Guess what asshole, you might have just lost your chance.” I say looking at myself in the mirror.

  I walk into my room and put my flannel pants on that I have laying at the foot of my bed. I pick up my cell phone and put in on the charger.

  I crawl into bed and turn off the light. Lying in bed, looking up at the celling, I can’t get her out of my head. She’s so beautiful. Her 5’5” height, curves in all the right places, her blue eyes are still mesmerizing and I would love just to get lost in them. That hair, she’s never had her hair that long before, it’s going past her shoulders. All I want to do is run my hands through it, tell her I’m sorry and I’m going to make it better.

  Chapter 3

  Katie

  I wake up in a panic, thinking I slept through my alarm or Ava, but realize it’s Saturday and Ava is with Steve’s parents. I miss my little girl.

  I grab my phone off the charger and see I have a text message,

  “Hey Katie, he was fucked up last night. Not sure what happened, but wow. I learned a lot last night from him. For what it’s worth, he’s sorry. I love you. Rachel.”

  What the fuck, she’s team Eric now. Oh hell no!

  “Let me guess, you’re team Eric now aren’t you?”

  “Nope, but I think you need to hear him out. I’m always going to be Team Katie; always and forever.”

  “We’ll see. He and I do need to talk, but not sure I can. Do you still want me to come over today?”

  “If you want. We’re having a big cook out. Friends and family will be here.”

  “Ok, I’ll be over around noon.”

  “Ok, see you soon. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I respond.

  I get out of bed, go to the kitchen and start my coffee. I check my emails and the weather. While the coffee is brewing, I head to the shower and get cleaned up.

  After showering, I head to the kitchen grab myself a cup of coffee before I get ready.

  I’m wearing my long purple cotton maxi dress, black flip flops, little bit of make-up, and my hair is thrown in a messy bun. “Yep, this is as good as it gets,” I say to myself.

  I finish my coffee and look at the clock, it’s only ten thirty. I send Rachel a quick text to see if she needs me to bring anything and she says no.

  It’s close enough to noon, so I just decide to head over to Rachel and Brady’s house.

  I turn up the radio as loud as I can and drive to the music. It only takes me fifteen minutes to get there. Shit! I don’t know what Eric drives so I have no idea if he’s here or not. Damn it! I pull in behind a black ford pickup truck with out of state plates. I figure it’s just one of Brady’s cousins.

  When I get to the front door, I don’t even knock I just walk right in. “Katie,” Rachel shouts and runs up to me. “Oh thank god you’re here! Help me please. They are driving me nuts!” she whispers in my ear hugging me.

  I chuckle a little, “Yep, I’m here.”

  I walk through the living room and into the kitchen. Rachel leads me out to the back yard where everyone is sitting. “Hey everyone, this is my Maid of Honor Katie, Katie this is everyone.” I look around and smile, until my eyes lock onto those brown eyes again.

  “Shit,” I whisper.

  “It’s going to be fine Katie. Quit worrying.”

  “I know,” I say letting out the breath I’ve been holding in. I give Eric a small smile and he returns with a slightly bigger smile. I can tell he feels like shit. We really do need to talk. I notice lying next to him is his guitar. Fuck me! I always loved to hear him sing and play that thing, it was the one thing we did and I think that’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him.

  ‘Stop thinking about that. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it,’ I say to myself.

  Brady’s parents give me a hug and so do Rachel’s and a few of the other family members come and meet me.

  I help Rachel make some salads and desserts for the cookout.

  “Are you going to talk to him?”

  “Probably, I’m not going to ignore him if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  “Ok, sorry, I won’t bug you anymore. This is between you two and I need to stay out of it.”

  I laugh, “Its ok Rachel, I know you mean well.” I wink at her.

  “I want to tell you something so bad but I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t.”

  “You can’t say something like that and then not tell me!”

  “I won’t say anything because it’s not my place, but all I will say is..... You really need to talk to him, like really need to talk to him.”

  “What happened after I left last night?”

  “Nothing. Everything. Shit. He said something last night and for once I could honestly tell he was telling the truth.”

  Really, what happened last night? They walked me back to my car and...what the hell! “Um, ok,” I say.

  Eric and Brady walk in, Eric looks at me and smiles, “Hey Eric.” I say in my best chipper tone.

  “Hey Katie, hey I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Stop, I should be the one to say I’m sorry.”

  “We’re fine?”

  I shrug my shoulders and for the sake of Brady and Rachel I reply, “Sure.”

  We finish eating and everyone is sitting around talking about the wedding.

  Eric looks over at me and nods his head to the right, as if asking if I want to go for a walk. I nod my head yes.

  “I’ll be back,” I say to Rachel.

  “Ok,” she smiles.

  Rachel and Brady have three acres of land so we’re able to go for a walk and talk without anyone hearing us.

  “You were right you know,” he says in almost a whisper.

  “What about?”

  “Reagan. Hunter isn’t mine. She never told me wh
o the father is and I don’t really care.”

  “She didn’t tell you who Hunter’s dad is? She hated me and I knew she was out to hurt me, and she did an excellent job.”

  “Nope, why? Do you know who the baby daddy is? I never understood why she wanted to hurt you though.”

  “I did, we were friends and she wanted you. She knew how I felt about you and I think she was scared you felt the same way. So I get it I guess. As for Hunter’s dad, it’s Dean, my ex.”

  He doesn’t say anything, just stands there staring at me. It’s like he knows who I’m talking about, but doesn’t want to say anything. I’m sure his dad has filled him in on what happened to me.

  I have got to change the subject, I hate talking about those two.

  “Eric, why didn’t you ever try to call me?”

  “Truthfully?”

  “Please!”

  “I was embarrassed by the way I acted and the way I treated you. I was afraid you hated me. When I finally got up the nerve, I heard you and Steve were engaged and I knew you were better off with him then me.”

  “That should have been my choice to decide.”

  “I know, but I did not want to come in and start drama. You were happy and with a good guy. It was my loss and his gain.”

  “Your loss; what do you mean your loss? You didn’t have feelings for me did you?”

  “Umm Katie, I did.”

  My stomach jumped to my throat. He did? He had feelings for me? Why didn’t he tell me? Oh my god. Shit. “I don’t know what to say right now,” I reply.

  “You don’t have to say anything. Like I said, it was my loss. You got the better guy.”

  “Why do you say that? You act like you’re such a bad guy. I know we haven’t seen each other in ten years, but the guy I remembered was not a dick, well he was a little, but he was a good guy. So why are you so tough on yourself?”

  He runs his hands through his hair “It’s not that I’m a bad guy or a dick. I’m just not like Steve, an all-around good guy. I run when life gets tough, Steve never did.” I shake my head.

  “Stop comparing yourself to Steve. Just leave Steve out of this.” I’m getting frustrated. He needs to stop bringing my dead husband into this conversation.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

  “Can we just move on from the bullshit from ten years ago, because I’m trying to move on? You coming back into town has brought up a lot of shit, but I’m moving on. Can we do that?”

  “Yeah I would like to, I would like to be friends again.”

  I’m not going to lie, when he said he wants to be friends again, it stung a little. Not that I want a man right now or ever.

  “Yeah friends, ok,” I say.

  “So tell me about this little girl I keep hearing about,” he says changing the subject.

  “Oh my sweet little spit fire. She’s so much like her daddy it’s crazy.”

  “I bet she’s as beautiful as her mother,” he says with a smile. I start to blush. I hate that he still has that control over me.

  “Actually she looks more like Steve than me. She does have my eyes and smile, but the rest of her is all her daddy.” I say pulling out my phone and going through pictures to find one of her. I find the most recent one of her, “See I told you, all her daddy.”

  “I see a lot of you in her. She’s beautiful,” he whispers.

  “Thanks, she’s my world.”

  “She’s a lucky girl to have you as a mommy.”

  We sit in silence and there’s this odd tension between us.

  “Well, should we head back up,” I say.

  “Yeah we better,” he agrees.

  We start to walk and he grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug. I’ve missed getting hugs from him, I always felt safest in his arms and even after ten years, I still feel safe. This time was different though. There’s an electric shock between us. One I’ve never felt before. I’m pretty sure he felt it too.

  He smiles down at me, “Damn I’ve missed your hugs.”

  “Me too,” I respond with a small smile.

  We walk back up to the house and Rachel is staring at us. “Uh oh, here comes the interrogation,” I giggle.

  “Ok, so you see that too huh?”

  “Rachel staring, how can you not?”

  “Did she say anything to you about last night?”

  “Not really. But speaking of which, what did happen last night?”

  He looks away from me and then back down, “Nothing, just me being a pussy and they were there to see it. That’s all.”

  Ok, well, I don’t believe that at all, but I’ll just accept it for now. “Ok,” I reply.

  “Hi you two, did you have a good talk,” Rachel asks her eyes big and she’s smiling.

  “Yep,” Eric says heading for the cooler to get a beer I’m assuming.

  “So? Did he tell you?”

  “Yep he did. We’re fine!”

  She starts jumping! “So where do you guys go from here?”

  “We’re friends Rach, nothing more, nothing less.”

  “You’re shitting me right? He finally admits that he loves you and all you two are going to be is friends,” she snaps.

  “He what,” I say a little too loudly making some people turn around.

  “He didn’t tell you?”

  “Rachel, what are you saying? Spill it right fucking now,” I snap at her, I know I shouldn’t but I hate people keeping shit from me.

  “He told us last night he loved you. When I asked if he told you, I figured that’s what he told you.” Just as I was getting ready to say something, someone clears their throat and I turn around and see Eric standing behind me.

  “Eric I’m sorry, I thought you told her.”

  “Jesus Rachel! Something’s never change, and you not keeping your nose out of other people’s business is one of the things that hasn’t changed!”

  I’m just standing there with a dumb look on my face. He told me he had feelings for me, but not that he loved or loves me! What in the fuck is happening!?

  Chapter 4

  Eric

  I cannot believe Rachel just told Katie that I loved her. After the huge step we just made down by the willow tree, she goes and does this shit?! I’ve got to get out of here, I can’t stay here. I turn on my heels and walk inside through the house and out the front door to my truck.

  I let out a growl, kicking my tire, someone has me parked in. Can’t I go a fucking day without drama? All I want is my relationship with Katie to get back to normal. Hell, maybe even more, but right now, I just want to have Katie back as my friend.

  “Eric wait,” I hear a woman calling my name. I turn towards the house, shit it’s Katie.

  “Do you know whose car this is? I need to get out of here.”

  “It’s mine, and no, I’m not moving it until you talk to me damn it,” she snaps at me, I’ve never heard her use this tone before and it’s hot. This bossy side of her is sexy.

  “Katie, just move your car. I need to leave,” I beg.

  “Why? So you can run away and be gone for another ten years? Because that’s what you do, when shit gets rough you run. Not this time damn it.”

  “Katie, come on, not here.”

  “Yes here Eric, because I know if you leave pissed like this we’ll never see you again. I’ll never see you again,” she shouts.

  She gets closer to me, cornering me against my truck. And all of a sudden, I’m turned on and my dick wakes up.

  “Is it true?” she says in almost a whisper, but I can tell she’s pissed.

  “Katie...”

  “Damn it Eric, quit the shit. Is it true?”

  I run my hands through my hair and over my face, I look down at her and she’s glaring at me, she won’t give up. I don’t want to tell her, but if I tell her no she’s going to be crushed. So either way I’m fucked.

  “Tell me the truth and then I’ll let you leave and I’ll never bother you if that’s what you want.”

  I blo
w out a breath. “Yes,” I finally say.

  Her eyes fill with tears. Damn it, I’ve made her cry again.

  “You loved me?”

  “Yep.”

  “And you let me walk away that night and you let me marry another man knowing you loved me and I loved you?”

  “Yes,” I tell her sternly. Not sure what more she wants me to say.

  She shakes her head and the tears start to fall. “Why? Why did you let me go? If you would have told me that night you loved me, I would have dealt with Reagan’s bullshit. I would have done everything for you!”

  “I know, but I honestly thought you deserved better than me.”

  “It wasn’t your fucking decision to make Eric! It was mine!” She turns around and starts to pace back and forth. Tears are falling, I want to grab her, hug her and tell her I’m an asshole.

  “I’m sorry...” I whisper.

  “Me too,” she snaps. She gets her keys out of her pocket and walks to her car. “You’re free to leave. If I don’t ever see you again, well then I guess take care Eric...”

  “Do you want to see me anymore?”

  “What does it matter what I want? You obviously make the decisions for the both of us,” she snaps at me again and gets in her car and backs up so I can get out. I get into my truck and back out. She pulls back in and parks her car and I pull in behind her

  “Katie!”

  “What Eric?” she asks, wiping tears from her eyes. Damn it I’ve done this to her. I am the one who keeps hurting her. Maybe I should just leave and never look back.

  “I’m done running away...”

  She gives me a small smile and nods her head, “Yeah, we’ll see,” and walks back towards the house.

  I throw the truck in reverse, why didn’t I just stay? Why am I running? “You idiot,” I say out loud and “What Hurts The Most” by Rascal Flatts comes on the radio. Well shit, this song says everything right here.

  I pull up to the bar. I should be back at Brady’s house, but I feel stupid and I’m sure as hell not going back to my parents right now. I’ll just come in here for a beer or two, or three.