Joline's Redemption

by McDonough, Vickie;

  But his kindness only went so far. She couldn’t blame him for letting her leave without stopping her. What man would want to have a meaningful relationship with a former strumpet? Tears stung her eyes, and she batted them away.

  No man would ever want her for his wife.

  She’d said as much to Jack, but his response was that God would want her—would love her. She could come to Him as she was. Lara had told her the same thing when they were younger, but Jo was too stubborn to listen. As far as she was concerned, God had been the one to take her parents away, but now she knew that wasn’t true. Jack had confessed that he’d been smoking in his bedroom, and when Pa hollered that he should be out doing chores, he’d rushed to the barn and had possibly forgotten to put out the cigar. Maybe her parents would still be alive if he’d remembered it. Maybe her life would have been much different.

  She glanced at her son. As hard as her life had been with Mark, she wouldn’t change a thing if it meant she wouldn’t have Jamie. He alone gave her life purpose.

  And yet, he wasn’t enough. She wanted more, but she didn’t know what that more was.

  All the things that Lara, Grandpa, pastors she’d listened to over the years, and even Jack had said bombarded her. She was tired of living as she had, fearing men and being used by them. Feeling worthless, like dirt swept from a floor. She was tired of running. She needed to change—for herself and for Jamie. Her son needed a good example if he was going to turn out well. Jo sniffled. Jamie would have been far better off if she’d left him with Lara—and that truth cut her deeply.

  She gazed up at the sky, lonelier than she could ever remember. “Is it true what Jack said, God? Do You truly love me? In spite of all the horrible things I’ve done? Could You save me, like You did Rahab?”

  She thought of the Bible stories of Jesus. How God had given His only Son so that she could be saved. She’d never before thought of how it must have pained God to see His Son suffer for the horrible things she’d done—for the sins she’d committed. “I’m truly sorry for everything that I’ve done, Lord. Forgive me. Please.”

  At first, she didn’t feel a thing—only the chilly breeze as night settled across the prairie. But then her chest warmed, and she felt a peace she’d never before experienced. The tears that had filled her eyes before tumbled down her cheeks, and she was helpless to stop them. Maybe it was God’s way of washing her clean.

  Chapter 21

  Jo’s eyes fluttered open to the sound of birds singing. The last thing she remembered was praying and crying out to God. She must have fallen into a deep sleep. Rolling over, she was relieved to see Jamie still sleeping. Sarah was normally an early riser, but today she was still curled up under the blanket they’d shared with Jamie.

  Jo sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes then tended to her morning ablutions. By the time she returned, Jamie was stirring. She smiled and lifted him up, cuddling him to her chest. He uttered some unrecognizable words that ended with mama. Smiling, she kissed his head, laid him down, and changed his diaper. Tomorrow evening, she’d have to wash them out and hope they dried overnight.

  She nursed Jamie then gave him a chunk of biscuit to gnaw on. Going to Sarah’s side, she knelt down. How odd for her to sleep so late. Other than coughing, she hadn’t made a sound. Jo shook Sarah’s shoulder, snatching back her hand at how hot she felt. While Jo slept so peacefully, Sarah had taken a fever.

  Jo rose and looked at the sky. She’d hoped after her talk with God last night that things would get easier. “What do I do now?”

  Jamie babbled off a string of baby talk as if answering her question. She picked him up, untied the horse, and led the horse to the stream. She only had three options. Continue to Kingfisher, but strangers wouldn’t be too welcoming when they found out she had a sick girl with her. They could stay here until Sarah got better, but they had little food and no medicine with which to treat her. She stared across the prairie, back to the north. They were much closer to Lara’s than Kingfisher, so it made more sense to return there. But she’d be putting her family within Badger’s reach.

  The more she thought about returning to Lara’s, the more positive she grew. As much as they needed to get away, she wouldn’t take a chance with Sarah’s life. Guthrie had doctors, and Lara would know how to keep Sarah comfortable until the doctor could arrive. And what if she or Jamie caught what the girl had? She couldn’t risk getting sick herself and leaving the two children to fend for themselves.

  Going back was risky, but it was the only choice that made sense.

  Baron arrived at the Coulter ranch less than an hour after Gabe had told him that Jo and the children were missing. He’d been stubborn—stupid—to let her ride away yesterday without stopping her. But he’d been so shocked at her confession. In the short time he’d known her, he’d grown to care for her far more than he’d realized. The way Mark had used her then tossed her aside disgusted him. He hated that some man she’d met had done something similar by forcing her to stay at his brothel. He shuddered at the thought of the horrible things she’d gone through.

  Yesterday they had mattered, but today, all that was important was finding her and making sure she and the children were safe. At the house, he dismounted, raced up the stairs, and pounded on the door. He was relieved to hear footsteps hurrying his way. The door opened, and Lara, red faced from crying, looked up at him.

  “Gabe told me what happened. I’m here to help search for Jo—and the children.”

  “Thank you for coming.” She shook her head. “I was so shocked to find her note. I thought she was doing better. Jack said she had an encounter with someone in town.” She closed her mouth suddenly. “Sorry, I’m babbling.”

  “An encounter with whom?”

  “Some man she knew from Oklahoma City, but Jack took care of him—at least we thought so.”

  “Do you know his name?”

  Lara shook her head.

  “I think I know why she left.”

  Lara stepped to the side. “Please, come in.”

  Baron shook his head. “Thank you, but I need to go. I just wanted you to know that Jo believes a man named Badger is after her. I’m sure that’s why she left. She’s probably worried she’ll bring trouble to your door.”

  Lara surprised him when she smiled. “My sister has been trouble from the day she was born, but I don’t love her any less for it. Thank you for telling me about this Badger. I’ll be sure to let the men know so they can watch for him.”

  “Good.” Baron crimped the brim of his hat. “I should go. Any idea which way I should search?”

  Lara shrugged. “I think the men have gone out in all directions. If I had to guess where Jo would go, I’d say west or south. We lived in Kansas, and I really doubt she’d go back there where it’s colder than it is here.”

  “I appreciate the information. I should be going.”

  “Feel free to help yourself to a fresh horse, if there are any left in the barn. My black mare might be the only one. She’s a good horse, and you’re welcome to her.”

  Baron slapped his hat on. “Thanks.”

  “Stop back here before you ride out. I’ll fix you some food to take with you.”

  He nodded his gratitude and rushed down the steps. He felt an urgency to find Jo. Were they in some kind of danger? Or perhaps Badger was already on her trail? He untied his horse and ran toward the barn. The sooner he found them, the better he’d feel.

  Ten minutes later, mounted on Lara’s mare and with a sack of food and a canteen of water hanging from the saddle horn, Baron faced west. He nudged the mare forward and rode out of the ranch yard, but as he reached the edge, he had a feeling in his gut that he was going the wrong way. “Lord, show me the correct way.”

  Even if he went in the right direction, he wasn’t assured that he’d find her. In fact, he could pass by her, separated by a lone hill, and never see her. “I need Your help, Father.”

  An overwhelming sensation made him turn south. He urged the
horse to a lope and kept his eyes moving, searching as far as he could see. He had to find Jo and Jamie. Bring them back. They needed more time together. He needed time to figure out what his feelings for Jo were. Was he willing to turn loose of his long-held vow to not be attracted to the same woman as his brother?

  He blew out a sigh. Who was he fooling? He’d been attracted to Jo since he first met her. But could he truly overlook her past?

  He reined the horse to a stop atop a hill and searched in all directions but didn’t see a soul. Guilt nibbled at him. Hadn’t God forgiven his sins?

  Of course He had, but he’d never done anything like Jo had.

  His thoughts wrestling with one another, Baron tapped his heels, and the horse moved forward. In the eyes of God, sin was sin, no matter the type. It was man who thought there was a difference in committing murder versus lying—or being a loose woman.

  His grip on the reins tightened. He cared for Jo and needed to forget her past. God would wash her clean if only she asked Him to, so who was he to judge her?

  Baron sighed. He had no right at all to judge Jo. He had sinned, too. Jo—and Jamie—were what mattered. Not what he or she did before they met.

  His heart finally at peace, he nudged the horse to a gallop again as they reached a long valley. Several minutes later, he crested another hill and paused to give his horse a rest. He searched from west to east, and his gaze latched onto a slow-moving horse crossing the next valley. But it was coming his way, so he skipped over it and continued his search. When he saw no one else, his gaze snapped back to the rider. Tugging his hat low over his eyes, he stared. The woman rider looked as if she were with child. Surely it couldn’t be Jo. Still he nudged the horse forward. Perhaps the woman had seen Jo and the children.

  As he narrowed the gap, his pulse kicked up its pace. Then his heart slammed against his rib cage. Jo!

  He quickly reached her side. The bundle in front of her was Jamie, who had fallen asleep in her arms. Sarah was slumped against Jo’s back and didn’t look up as he approached.

  “Baron?”

  He reined his horse beside hers. “I’m so glad I found you. Why are you headed north?”

  “Sarah is sick. I had to turn back to get help for her.”

  “Thank God you did.”

  Confused by his outburst, she glanced down. “Could you take Jamie? My arm feels like it’s about to fall off.”

  He smiled. “Gladly.” He lifted the boy into his arms and cuddled him against his chest. A powerful desire to protect this woman and her child welled up within him. They were his family. He kissed Jamie’s head, noting how hot the boy felt. “He’s not sick, too, is he?”

  Jo shook her head. “I think he’s just sweaty from leaning on me for so long.”

  Baron stared at the woman he’d grown to love—and as much as he might deny it, that was the truth. Thank God he’d found her. “Are you ready to continue the ride home?”

  She nodded. “I need to get Sarah in bed and send for a doctor.”

  “Do you want me to ride with you or go on back and have someone get the doctor?”

  She glanced at her son as if not wanting to let him out of her sight.

  “Jamie is safe with me.”

  As she gazed into his eyes, he read the questions there.

  “Let’s get the children settled; then we can talk. All right?”

  After a long moment when he thought she would order him to give Jamie back, she finally nodded. “That sounds like the best idea. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m having to take things slowly because I’m afraid Sarah will fall off.”

  The girl moaned at the mention of her name.

  “Would you rather I take her than Jamie?”

  Jo shook her head. “It might frighten her, and besides, my arms are sore from holding Jamie. He’s heavy when he’s sleeping.”

  Her loving gaze at her son left little doubt as to the depth of her feelings.

  If only she’d look at him with such love.

  “I’d best get going. Just keep heading due north, and you’ll reach the ranch before too long.”

  She captured his gaze and held it. “Thank you for coming after me.”

  He nodded, reached over, and squeezed her hand; then he reined his horse around. As he rode to the Coulter ranch, he knew he’d done the right thing. He’d put aside his disdain for his brother’s former lover and saw her for who she was—the woman he cared for.

  Jo watched Baron ride away with Jamie, her heart warmer than it had been in a long while. He had actually come looking for her. What had changed in his attitude?

  Something most certainly had. It made her want to hope that they could have a future together, but hope had never been her friend. Hope was dangerous for a woman who’d lived as she had. And yet, ever since she’d prayed last night, she’d felt different. Cleaner. Less worried.

  Sarah leaned to one side, and Jo reached behind her to steady her. She wrapped both of the girl’s arms around her waist and held on to them with one hand while guiding the horse with the other.

  For the first times in years, she looked forward to going home. Not that Lara’s house was her home, but her family was there. And that’s what made it home. At least for now.

  She didn’t know what the future held, but she wanted to believe for Jamie’s sake that it would be better than her past. Badger was still after them, but even he didn’t seem as scary as he had yesterday.

  Could asking God to help her—save her—actually have changed her outlook on life?

  It didn’t seem possible, and yet something was clearly different. She should be more concerned about Badger, worried more about Sarah … and she’d let Baron take her son. And still she felt at peace. Lara would certainly be happy.

  An hour later, Sarah began mumbling unintelligible words. Jo thought they might be Cherokee, but she’d never heard Sarah speak it before. She nudged the horse into a trot and prayed she could keep hold of the girl. The horse slowed as they crested yet another hill, and Jo’s heart started. Someone in a buckboard was coming their way. She squinted her eyes and saw that it was Gabe. Relief flowed through her.

  He waved and smiled as he approached then drew the wagon to a stop. Jo expected him to lash into her for once again disappointing Lara, but he didn’t.

  He climbed down and strode toward her. “Lara made a bed in the back. She thought Sarah would be more comfortable lying down.”

  Jo turned loose of Sarah, and Gabe lifted her into his arms and carried her to the back of the wagon. Then he waved at her. “Come ride with Sarah in case she wakes up. She’ll want to see a familiar face.”

  She would have preferred to ride alone but did as he bid. It made sense. As soon as she was seated in back and Gabe had tied her horse to the rear of the wagon, he climbed up onto the bench and turned the horse for home.

  “Luke rode to Guthrie for the doctor.”

  “That’s good. Thank you for coming for us. I wasn’t sure if I could keep her on that horse much longer.”

  “Happy to do so.”

  Jo felt that he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. He loved her sister and would do anything to protect Lara. Jo had to admit that Gabe had turned out to be a far better husband and rancher than she’d expected. He’d lost some weight, and his skin had darkened under the hot Oklahoma sun. Gabe was a handsome man with his black hair and eyes almost as dark as Sarah’s. But it was a man with sandy blond hair and blue eyes who tugged at her heart. Was there a chance they could ever be together?

  Not likely. What man in his right mind would choose to be with a woman who’d done the things she had?

  She glanced at Sarah and pulled the blanket up to the girl’s neck. Please, God. Let her live.

  Jo couldn’t afford to hope for a life with Baron. Yes, he’d seemed more accepting today, but she needed to focus on the children. They were her first responsibility.

  She beseeched God to make Sarah well and to keep Jamie from catching whatever Sarah had. He’d s
lept right beside the girl last night. Jo bit her lip. He was so young. Would he have the strength to fight off the sickness if he got it? She couldn’t lose him.

  “We’re home.”

  Jo looked up, and her heart picked up its pace at seeing the big house again. Had it only been yesterday when she left?

  Gabe pulled the wagon to a stop at the front porch steps and jumped down. “If you’ll get the door, I’ll carry her upstairs.”

  Lara rushed out the front door with Beth in her arms. “Oh, thank the good Lord you’re home.”

  Jo couldn’t help smiling. “You’d best take Beth and put her in your room. We don’t want her catching whatever Sarah has.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Gabe said as he hoisted Sarah into his arms.

  Jo had expected to see Baron come to the door. “Where are Baron and Jamie?”

  “In the kitchen. That little man of yours was starving.” Lara smiled. “I’ve prepared the extra room for Sarah. We’ll put her in there.” She backed into the house, and the screen door banged closed.

  Gabe had Sarah upstairs and into bed in short order. Jo wanted to take a bath and rest—to see Baron and Jamie—but caring for the girl came first. As she pulled the covers up to Sarah’s chin, she prayed again. “Please, Lord, make her well. Don’t take her from us. She deserves a chance to live a happy life—and she can do that here.”

  Badger rode into Guthrie, his gaze landing on each woman he saw. The town was much bigger than he’d expected—as big or bigger than Oklahoma City, he suspected. He searched the streets he could see for Sapphire, but he didn’t expect to find her so easily. First thing, he needed to rent a room at a hotel or boardinghouse; then he’d go from business to business until he found her.

  Too bad Ernie Slaughter hadn’t mentioned which store he’d seen her at, because it looked like Guthrie had more than its fair share of them. Badger blew out a sigh. He’d thought finding Sapphire would be easy, but he’d certainly underestimated the size of the town—just as he had the woman.