Whispers of Love

by Whispers of Love (retail) (epub)

  He took the rest of the week off from work so that he could be with Kay and he tried his best to comfort her, and help her to come to terms with what remained of their life.

  Without Violet’s presence the house seemed to be an empty shell, he thought, as he threw away a vase of dead flowers. It lacked the warmth and atmosphere of a home. It seemed ridiculous, but even the shine had gone off the furniture; everything was lifeless and disorganised.

  For Kay’s sake he struggled to maintain their usual routine. Breakfast, lunch, high tea and a bedtime drink punctuated their day. He did his best in the kitchen, but nothing tempted Kay to eat. She picked at her food, and said she wasn’t hungry, but he suspected it was because the meals he prepared nowhere near equalled the ones Violet had served them.

  He made a half-hearted attempt at cleaning the house, more to keep himself occupied than anything else. He couldn’t stand the silence; it grated on his nerves.

  He tried his best to tolerate it and encouraged Kay to play some music on her gramophone, hoping that listening to that might help to distract her mind from the loss of her mother.

  The following week he sent Kay back to school. He’d phoned first, and had had a talk with the Headmistress, who’d agreed to keep a special eye on her and to let him know immediately if there were any problems.

  He also decided to return to work himself, but knew that first he’d have to find a housekeeper and he wasn’t sure how Kay would take to having a stranger there in their home.

  She’d simply have to adjust, he told himself wearily, because he couldn’t manage to run the house and go to work.

  Kay certainly appeared to be a lot better now that she was back at school, and mixing with her friends again. Night times were the worst. Frequently he heard her sobbing in her sleep or calling out for her mother and he found it heartbreaking.

  The very next day, as he was boiling eggs for himself and Kay for their tea, Christabel turned up unexpectedly.

  Lewis looked bewildered. ‘Christabel! What are you doing back here? Didn’t you get your job in London after all?’

  ‘Aunt Chrissy!’ Kay threw herself into Christabel’s arms, hugging her and kissing her. ‘You’ve come back! I thought I was never going to see you again either. Promise you won’t go away again, please?’ she begged.

  ‘I hope I won’t have to do so, darling,’ Christabel told her, hugging her close, ‘but it all depends on whether your daddy wants me to stay and look after you both.’

  ‘Aunt Chrissy can stay, Daddy, can’t she? Say you want her to; that we both want her to stay?’ Kay begged, her voice shrill with anxiety.

  ‘Well . . .’ Lewis hesitated, looking from one to the other. ‘Are you quite sure you know what you’ll be taking on if you decide to stay and run our home?’

  ‘I’ve thought it through. I know what I’m doing,’ she told him confidently.

  ‘You’ll be giving up so much, Christabel. It will be like being married, but with all the chores and worries and none of the pleasure,’ he pointed out grimly.

  ‘As I said, I have thought it through and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing,’ she repeated. ‘I have the choice of staying here or going to London and taking this job. If I do that then I’ll probably end up living in a block of over-priced flats. The alternative, if you’ll agree to it, is making my home here with you in Wallasey, and looking after you and Kay.’

  ‘If you take this job, it’s not very glamorous and there’s no chance of promotion, you know,’ he told her dryly. ‘It will be a daily round of cleaning, cooking and looking after Kay and me. After the high life you’ve grown accustomed to in the past you might find it pretty dull.’

  ‘True, but at least I’ll be able to organise my day as I like. If the sun’s shining I can take a walk in the park without having to ask for permission to do so.’

  Lewis still looked dubious. ‘You are sure it’s not simply a passing whim?’ he persisted. ‘Kay’s had enough upheavals in her life, I don’t want you suddenly deciding to walk out on us and upsetting her all over again.’

  ‘No! I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,’ Christabel assured him. ‘I’ll remain as long as you need me, Lewis. I give you my word that I will stay until Kay is grown up and ready to leave home, if that’s what you want; or at least until she is old enough to look after herself.’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  There were some difficult times in the first few months after Violet died. Kay was very depressed and clingy. She rejected her food and seemed to be unable to stop crying because she was convinced that it was all her fault. Often she was too upset to sleep on her own and on several occasions refused to go to school.

  Christabel was extremely patient and understanding, even taking Kay into her own bed at night whenever she was very distressed. Gradually, she helped her to accept what had happened by constantly reassuring her that it wasn’t in any way her fault. She promised her that she would stay and look after her until she was grown up,

  Kay accepted her as a friend as well as a surrogate mother. Even so, Lewis played a very important part in her life. He had come to mean so much more than the average father did.

  No one, not even Lewis, seemed prepared to voice an opinion as to why Violet had taken her own life. Christabel kept recalling the conversation Violet had overheard between her and Lewis about Maggie Nelson and although she said nothing whenever she thought about it, she felt a frisson of guilt.

  She suspected that what Violet had heard, together with her frequent comments about Kay looking more like Lewis than herself had upset Violet. Even so, Christabel couldn’t really understand why she had taken it so much to heart as Lewis always appeared to be such a devoted husband.

  Once or twice, in a roundabout way, she tried to talk to Lewis about it and to sound out his views, but Lewis refused to discuss the matter.

  Whenever she raised the subject he became so tight-lipped and angry that she suspected there was something she didn’t know about their background. Since it was obvious he had no intention of telling her she finally dismissed it as something that would have to remain a mystery and tried to close her mind to the idea that Violet’s suicide was in any way her fault.

  She had always got on well with Lewis when they’d been growing up, and she still enjoyed his company so when he asked if she was sure she wanted to stay and look after them, she assured him she was.

  ‘It will mean putting my life on hold for a time because I don’t think I could cope with a job as well,’ she pointed out.

  ‘I wouldn’t expect you to do so; we’ll have a proper agreement so you can regard this as work,’ he told her and she agreed and accepted it as a way of earning her living.

  Lewis left Christabel very much to her own devices when it came to running his home. In return, she cared for him and Kay as efficiently as any wife. Their home was warm, clean, well decorated, and an open house to Kay’s friends.

  In addition to paying all household expenses, Lewis made Christabel a regular allowance and invariably took the bus and the ferry boat to work so that she could have use of the car during the day. He was always willing to stay home and look after Kay in the evening if she wanted to go out on her own.

  She liked sharing meal times and their concerns over Kay, planning outings, reading the same newspaper, and discussing what was going on in the outside world. Jointly they budgeted for family expenses and they often had friendly arguments over what they should do at the weekends or where they should go on holiday, all of which meant that their lives were not all that different from those in any average home.

  In many ways it was an ideal arrangement for them all. Occasionally, Christabel wondered what would happen if Lewis ever met anyone he wanted to marry. He kept very fit and although he was now almost forty he looked younger and was still quite a catch. She knew she couldn’t share a home with another woman, and she certainly didn’t relish the thought of having to move out and be on her own again.

>   Whenever these thoughts came into her mind she would study her brother, and hope that he was far too comfortable to make any changes. He enjoyed plain food and simple meals which suited her style of cooking. He liked his home to be run in an orderly way so she made sure that it was. She organised his wardrobe, and took his suits to be dry cleaned regularly. He never had to ask for a clean shirt or look for socks or underwear because they were always ready and waiting. And so, too, were freshly laundered towels, as well as the brands of toothpaste and toiletries he preferred.

  She looked after Kay with the same efficiency. Kay adored pretty clothes and loved shopping so Christabel taught her how to choose discerningly so that she got value for money. No matter how much she longed to have a particular dress or pair of shoes, Christabel always persuaded her to look at others first to make sure they were really what she wanted. Liverpool had a wonderful selection of shops so there was plenty of scope for comparison of both quality and price.

  Kay reminded her so much of what she’d been like at the same age that sometimes Christabel felt she was reliving her own youthful days. And because Kay’s features were almost identical to her own, Christabel found it easy to advise Kay on what suited her best.

  As the years passed and Kay was no longer a leggy schoolgirl, Christabel often found herself thinking about her own child. She would be the same age as Kay and also on the verge of womanhood, and Christabel wondered if she was as well cared for and as happy as Kay was.

  Everything was going so smoothly that Christabel felt a sense of irritation when, a couple of weeks before Christmas 1929, they returned from one of their shopping sprees in high spirits about the presents they’d bought for Lewis to find that while they’d been out he’d received a telegram from Lilian saying they were in London and that they wanted to come to stay over Christmas.

  ‘What are you going to tell her?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he frowned, ‘I can’t tell her anything at the moment because I don’t know where she is. There’s no address on the telegram. It rather looks as if they simply intend turning up on the doorstep. If that happens, then I suppose we will have to make them welcome.’

  ‘Does she give any idea of how long they will be staying?’ Christabel asked, holding out her hand for the telegram so that she could read it for herself.

  ‘Did you say they’re coming to stay with us for Christmas?’ Kay asked excitedly.

  Lewis shrugged hopelessly. ‘It rather looks as though they are,’ he commented dryly.

  ‘Typical of Lilian to take it for granted that we will be pleased to see them and willing to put them up,’ Christabel said crossly.

  As she cleared the debris from the dining table after their Christmas dinner, Christabel wished she could turn the clock back so that she and Kay and Lewis could have celebrated Christmas on their own as they’d done in the previous few years she had been living with them.

  Whether it had been the wine, or the excitement of having so many visitors, Christabel didn’t know, but the only thing that had seemed to go right was the cooking. Even Alex couldn’t find anything to complain about with the dishes she’d served. The turkey had been succulent and the accompaniments were cooked to perfection. The wine was at the correct temperature, and even the Christmas pudding dished up the right lucky charms to everyone. She had even remembered to buy some Christmas crackers.

  Looking back, it might have been better to have missed them out, since they’d caused so much trouble when they’d been pulled. Lilian had insisted on everyone wearing their paper hats, and had acted like a spoilt child when hers had been torn accidentally. She’d refused to accept the one Alex offered her, but had insisted on trying to repair her own.

  Conversation was erratic, and futile; trying to talk above Lilian’s tirade was impossible. Alex grew more and more argumentative and that only made matters worse.

  Kay and eleven-year-old Marlene spent most of the time sending eye signals to each other and long before the meal was over they were both giggling over anything and everything.

  The moment she could do so, Christabel had persuaded everyone to move from the dining room to comfortable armchairs in the sitting room. She handed Kay and Marlene a small box of chocolates and suggested they took them up to Kay’s room. She then served coffee, mince pies and brandies for those who wanted them, and breathed a sigh of relief when, in next to no time, Alex had fallen asleep, and Lilian had picked up a magazine to read.

  Quietly she had slipped away into the kitchen where even the debris from Christmas dinner seemed like a haven of peace. Stacking dishes had a calming effect on her nerves. By the time she tied an apron round her waist, filled the sink with hot, sudsy water, and plunged the first batch of dishes into it, she was feeling quite sanguine. Leastwise, she was until the kitchen door opened and Lilian appeared.

  ‘I thought I’d come and give you a hand,’ she whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

  ‘There’s no need! I’m quite happy.’

  ‘You wash and I’ll wipe, like in the old days when we were growing up,’ Lilian said brightly.

  ‘It’s all right, Lilian. Go and sit down with Alex and talk to Lewis!’

  Lilian pulled a face. ‘They’re both asleep. Alex drank far too much wine. Still, I suppose he felt he had to, it was the only way to keep sane over dinner, wasn’t it?’

  Christabel didn’t answer. Giving vent to her feelings she picked up a pile of plates and plunged them into the water, splashing soapsuds everywhere.

  ‘Steady on, Christabel!’

  ‘I did warn you. It’s no place to be when you’re dressed up to the nines. You’ll ruin your dress, and I haven’t another apron.’

  ‘Don’t worry! I’ll tie a towel round my waist if you’re going to splash like that.’

  Christabel didn’t answer, but concentrated on what she was doing.

  ‘I thought this would be a good opportunity for us to have a nice little chat,’ Lilian said brightly.

  Christabel stiffened. ‘What about?’

  ‘Marlene has asked Kay to come back with us to London. It will be so nice for her to mix with younger people and go to some parties and have some fun.’

  ‘Really! You’ll have talk to Lewis about it.’

  ‘I’ve already suggested it to him and he doesn’t mind,’ Lilian said quickly. ‘We’ll be leaving first thing Saturday morning because we have to get back for a New Year’s Eve party in London. Alex has all sorts of things lined up to do with business as well as social commitments. You don’t mind Kay coming back with us, do you?’

  ‘I would much prefer her to stay here and study.’

  ‘Oh, Chrissy! You sound as old as you look! Let the girl have some fun; she’ll have such a wonderful time with Marlene, they get on so well together,’ Lilian said airily.

  Christabel decided that it was futile to argue since Lilian had already persuaded Lewis that it was a good idea and she was quite sure Kay wanted to go. Instead, she made Kay promise that she would come home immediately after New Year’s Day so that she could do some revision before the new term started.

  ‘Very well,’ Kay agreed reluctantly, ‘that’s if Uncle Alex can spare the time to bring me back.’

  ‘There’s no need to trouble him,’ Christabel told her quickly, ‘you can come home by train on the Friday.’

  ‘All on my own?’

  ‘I don’t see why not. Find out which train you’ll be coming on, and phone and let me know. Ask Aunt Lilian to take you to the station and I’ll meet you at Lime Street, OK?’

  ‘Yes, Aunt Chrissy. Gosh! I can’t take it all in.’

  ‘Don’t forget to let me know the time of your train as soon as you can,’ Christabel reminded her as she waved them off.

  Kay phoned on New Year’s Day, babbling on excitedly about what a wonderful time they’d had the night before.

  ‘So what time is your train on Friday?’ Christabel asked.

  ‘I haven’t had a chance to find out. I’ll phone you aga
in tomorrow,’ Kay promised.

  When she phoned the next day it was to say she’d been invited to a party on the Friday and also one on the Saturday night, and to ask if she could come home on the following Tuesday instead.

  ‘I’ll have to see what your dad says about that,’ Christabel told her.

  Lewis was as worried about it as Christabel was and decided to speak to Kay himself.

  ‘It seems she’s been invited to all these parties with Marlene and tomorrow Alex is taking her and Marlene to the studios where he’s making a new film. And the day after that Lilian has promised—’

  ‘Hold on, Lewis. Are you trying to tell me that she has so much to do in London that you have agreed to her staying on longer?’ Christabel asked.

  ‘Yes, I suppose I am,’ he sighed. ‘They’ve got so much planned for the next few days and there are so many other exciting things going on that she doesn’t want to miss out on any of them. If she comes home any sooner it will spoil everything for Marlene as well as for her.’

  Christabel was crestfallen. She knew Kay had talked Lewis round and was disappointed in her brother.

  ‘You promised to come home, and do some studying,’ Christabel reminded Kay when she phoned her again later in the day. ‘Also, you need some clean clothes because you didn’t take very many with you.’

  ‘Aunt Chrissy, don’t fuss. Aunt Lilian has bought me a couple of new outfits. They’re so much more fashionable than any of mine.’

  ‘She’s done what?’

  ‘Don’t sound so cross. We went shopping, and she bought Marlene some new dresses and said I could have the same.’ She giggled. ‘Aunt Lilian said it was to celebrate the start of 1930.’

  Christabel felt flummoxed. She didn’t know what to do for the best. The thought of Kay socialising with Marlene worried her. Although Marlene was a few years younger than Kay, she was very sophisticated and she didn’t want Kay growing up too quickly when she still had so much studying to do.

  A further point was that she didn’t like the idea of Kay being spoilt by Lilian’s generosity. Although Kay had never been kept short, she’d always been expected to do some chores in return for her pocket money. As she’d grown older, while they’d always bought her school clothes, when it came to anything special she wanted, she was encouraged to save up to help pay for them herself.