“Oh, no, deep thoughts going on in here,” the object of those deep thoughts says. I look up and find him smiling at me. Remember what I said about him? Yeah, he’s irresistible like this. It makes me want to crawl into his arms and snuggle.
I smile at him. “We sold out of the party.”
“That’s fantastic,” he says as he leans down to kiss me. From that first weekend, we haven’t kept our relationship hidden. But we’ve always kept it away from work. Okay, so not that much, as I seem to smile like a loon whenever he’s near. I also need to be honest here with ya. I can’t complain when he has his mouth on mine.
“Do you have plans for dinner tonight?” he asks.
“Yep, remember? It’s girls’ night.”
We had finally gotten Savannah to agree to take a night off. Granted, it’s a Monday night, but both Allison and I are thankful for just that. We’d actually approached Austin, Savannah’s brother, to get him to work out the day off.
“Ah, yeah,” he says, frowning.
“Is there something wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. Just was looking forward to a quiet dinner in.”
I nod. It’s on the tip of my tongue to offer to stop off at his apartment when we’re done, but I force myself not to. I need some space, and I need to prove to myself that I don’t need him around me twenty-four hours a day. “We can do dinner tomorrow night. How about I make you some shrimp and grits?”
His eyes light up. “That sounds like an excellent plan. Well, I guess I should get back to work.”
“I have a ton of things to do, too.”
He hesitates for a second, maybe a little more, then he leans down and brushes his mouth over mine.
In the next moment, he’s gone. I wasn’t lying about how much work I have to do. I need to work through my emails, double check the special orders, and about a thousand other things. Still, I sit there staring off into the distance as if I’ve nothing else better to do. I have no idea why. Nope, strike that. I do. It has everything to do with Harry Bradley. The man has my head all fogged up, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Or if I want to. Do I want to? Men are supposed to be expendable, but with Harry, it’s been different from the beginning. I knew this would get all entangled because of our business and friendship.
I sigh and force myself back to work. I need to just let loose tonight and maybe I’ll have an answer.
* * *
Around eight o’clock, I know I’m truly wasted. Like, as in, I shouldn’t even walk to the bathroom on my own because I might do damage to myself kind of drunk. Unfortunately, my friends are no help. They are as drunk as I am.
We’re over at Ed and Allison’s. Ed went out with the guys so that we could have the house to ourselves. I’ve made some kickass margaritas and we are plowing our way through those and the wonderful fajitas Savannah made for us. It is fantastic having a friend who is a world-class chef. Cheffy chef…chef. Wait, what was I thinking? Oh, yeah, I was thinking about Savannah being a great chef. And my friend.
“So, what’s up with you and Harry?” Savannah asks.
“What?”
“I mean, you’re sleeping together.”
I blink. “Well, yeah.”
Didn’t people know that? I mean, like I thought earlier, we haven’t been hiding it. In fact, Fritz has complained more than once that we are a little too affectionate in front of everyone. I can’t help it. Harry puts his hands on me and I stopping thinking thoughts. That just made no sense, but I don’t care. I’m on my third margarita and not feeling any pain.
“I love you guys,” I say.
“Aww,” Allison says, making kissing noises at me.
“Shut up, Strawberry Lemonade,” Savannah says, then laughs. She usually takes to calling Allison by the name of the cupcake Ed has named after her when she is really drunk. And since she’s almost yelling, I would say Savannah’s drunk.
“You shut up,” Allison says, then giggles.
Savannah leans over closer to Allison and almost falls off her stool. Instead, Allison catches her. It takes her a few seconds to right them both, but they are finally steady. Savannah crooks her finger at Allison and puts her mouth closer to Allison’s ear. I’m assuming she’s going to whisper to her.
“I want to know if they are just yanking each other’s chains,” she yells into Allison’s ear.
“Ow,” Allison says as she closes her eyes.
I chuckle. “We really need to get you laid, Savannah. Really, yanking chains?”
She turns and looks at me. “Who told you I said that?”
Okay, I am drunk, but I’m not that drunk. “You did.”
“Oh. Well, I’ve got a big mouth.”
I nod. “You do.”
“Okay, answer me,” she demands.
“Answer you?”
“What’s up with you and Harry?”
“Mostly his dick.”
“Oh, ugh, stop,” Allison says covering her ears but she’s giggling.
“Deflectionation,” Savannah says.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I know I heard you, I don’t know what the fuck you mean though.”
Savannah closes one eye and looks at me. “You’re deflecting.”
Oh. Yeah, I was.
“So, tell us. What’s up?” she demands.
I blink and suddenly, I feel like crying. Why, I have no idea. Really. I am not usually a weepy drunk. I’m usually a horny drunk, which is why I never drink that much while on dates.
“EJ?” Allison asks.
Why can’t I answer? We’re just dating, having a good time. Why can’t I say that?
Allison lays a hand on my arm. “Honey, you’re scaring me.”
“I…” then the sob.
“Oh, whoa, what’s this about?” Allison asks as she slips her arms around me.
“I don’t know how to answer that.”
“It’s okay,” Allison reassures me.
“No, it’s not. Harry knows, but I don’t.”
“What’s that mean?”
I pull myself back and wipe my tears away. “Harry always seems like he knows. You know, he has a plan for everything. He has a plan for us. You know he does.”
“Um, maybe. But, don’t you usually just like to fly by the seat of your pants with relationships?”
“I did. I do. Or did I say I did?”
“Yeah, you did. What’s going on?”
I sigh and try to get my emotions back under control. Seriously, what the ever living fuck is wrong with me? It’s like I can’t control any of my emotions.
“I don’t know what’s wrong. I think all day, ‘I’ll just keep myself aloof. Just be about the sex.’ Then he comes over to my apartment or I go over to his apartment and I forget about all those things.”
“Why is that?” Allison asks patting my back.
“It’s Harry. It’s all his fault.”
“Yes! Men suck,” Savannah says as she sips at her margarita. I have a feeling if I said I wanted to change my name to Cruella de Vil and make a Dalmatian coat, she would agree and start researching how to hunt Dalmatians. Savannah is all about defending her friends and mob rule when she’s been drinking.
“Hush,” Allison says to Savannah, then turns back to face me. “Tell me. Why don’t you know what’s going on?”
I shrug.
“That’s not good enough, woman. I know you. You always set the terms of your relationships.”
“I haven’t had a relationship in years.”
One eyebrow rises up and she shakes her head. “Maybe I should have said relations.”
I sigh and reach for my glass, but she nudges it away. “Nope. Time for truth.”
“Ohhh, truuuuth,” Savannah says. God, she’s going to be so hungover tomorrow.
“Okay. Fine. I haven’t dated someone exclusively in years.”
“But you did with Harry. Did he demand it?”
I open my mouth to say yes becau
se, well, that does sound like something Harry would demand. He likes order. But he didn’t. He mentioned he wanted to date, but he didn’t make it a rule of sleeping together that first time. But…
Oh no.
“EJ?” Allison asks.
I feel the blood drain from my face as my head starts to spin. I’m fond of Harry but I’m not…
“Seriously, you look like you’re going to pass out,” Allison comments, worry coloring her voice.
“Oh, no,” I say this one out loud. Or maybe I did both of them, but I’m shitfaced and, well, fuck, I feel as if a truth has just landed in my lap.
I’m falling in love with Harry. Not in like or lust. IN. LOVE. Capital letters with all the feels. I don’t do love. It’s messy and people get hurt. Lust is easy to deal with. It’s primal, a need that can be filled easily. Love is emotion and it leaves a bloody path for the women of my family.
“How did I let this happen?” I ask out loud, more for myself than for anyone else.
“Let what happen?” Allison asks.
“I know how I did. It’s because Harry is a sex god. That mouth, those hands…his amazing cock.”
“I’m not sure I should be hearing this,” Allison says.
“I can’t let this happen. I must be strong.”
Allison opens her mouth to say something, but the front door opens. “Hey, babe,” Ed yells out.
I want to thank the good lord for the interruption, but when Ed steps into the kitchen, he’s not alone. The moment I see Harry, I want to just die. Of course, I also want to hop on board of the Harry express and ride him because, GOD, he’s gorgeous.
“Oh, god,” Ed says as he looks at the kitchen. I follow his gaze and, okay…so we made kind of a mess and he thinks of this as HIS kitchen. To be truthful, he probably does more cooking and baking in here than Allison. But, Allison owned the house before he moved in. Still, since Allison is drunk, Ed will be cleaning it up. There are bowls everywhere, several pans, and food and margaritas are all over the countertops.
“Kind of looks like a natural disaster in here,” Harry says with a chuckle.
“There is nothing natural about what went on in here,” Ed says.
Harry is looking at me, and I can’t stop looking at him, and the silence stretches out. Well, Ed keeps bitching about his kitchen and Allison is trying to soothe his irritation. Honestly, I don’t think he’s really mad because he’s Ed, and Allison has him twisted around her finger. Savannah is singing—badly—and Harry and I are just staring at each other.
Even though I just realized I am falling for him, I can’t think about that right now. Because, well, he’s looking at me like he knows just how to fuck me until I can’t remember my first name, and well, I know he can because he’s done it more than once before.
He steps close enough that I can smell the night air on him. “Hey, you okay?”
I nod. “I think I made the margaritas too strong.”
He rocks back on his heels. “Is that a fact?”
“I used your mother’s recipe.”
He rolls his eyes and smiles at me and, just like that, my heart falls down at his feet. Lord knows he has no idea, none at all, but there it is, laying on the floor, making a big splat sound, and I’m clueless on how to act. Because I’m not falling in love with him.
I’m already in love with him and I don’t know what to do about it.
Chapter Nineteen
I wasn’t planning on going by Ed’s house. I knew the ladies were doing their thing, and I got the feeling that EJ had needed some time to herself tonight. I don’t have a problem with that at all. Okay, I had a little bit of a problem with that because, well, I missed EJ. I know we’ve only been going out for a few weeks, but I like being around her and not just for the mind-blowing sex.
Instead, it’s her. She has a wicked sense of humor and she pokes fun at everything, me included. At one time, that used to bother me, but now I realize it is a sign of affection. Still, I wanted to give her some room. EJ is the kind of woman who needs to be on her own every now and then. And I’m cool like that. I can handle a night away from her. I’ve done it before. Except here I am staring at her and wondering what she’s thinking.
“Do you and Savannah need a ride home?”
“I can walk,” Savannah says…pretty much yelling actually.
“You cannot walk home,” Allison says.
“I can. I have feet.”
EJ laughs. “Oh, God.”
“Come on. Let me get you two out of here before Ed has a meltdown,” I offer.
“Who was playing with my rolling pin?” Ed demands.
“I would say that would be Allison,” Savannah says. “If you know what I mean.”
I chuckle. “Come on, Savannah. Let’s get you home.”
“Okie dokie.”
And she grabs her purse off the table, hitting one of the chairs, causing it to fall to the ground. I shake my head, right the chair, then hold my hand out for EJ. She looks down at it like she’s trying to decide something. Then, she slips her hand into mine. She snags her purse as she walks by the table.
“Be safe,” Allison calls out as I hear Ed say, “This is the last time your friends come over to play.”
It takes us twenty minutes to get to Savannah’s house. She used to live closer to EJ, but she moved into her uncle’s old house a couple months ago. EJ has been quiet for the entire trip. Well, except when we had to get Savannah into her house and into bed. That had both us giggling as we dragged Savannah onto her porch and to her front door. After I waited to make sure she locked her door, we headed out. Now here we are, just ten minutes later, and I’m not sure what to do. I will walk her to the door. My mother raised me right. But, should I offer to stay?
I don’t have any answers by the time we get to her apartment.
“I’m glad you came by. Getting Savannah in her house would have been hard by myself.”
“And you wouldn’t drive that drunk.”
“Nope. I would have ordered an Uber or Lyft. Or an Ed.”
I chuckle as she unlocks her door. When she turns to face me, I’ve already decided to go home. She needs her rest and I need to let her have her space. I lean in, drawing in her scent and letting it filter through me. I brush my mouth over hers, loving the tremble I feel rush through her. I cup her face with one hand, then slant my mouth over hers, enjoying the sweetness of the kiss. This woman…it’s all I can think right now.
She pulls back and studies me. I see something I don’t recognize in her eyes, something that worries me. For a long moment, we don’t say anything. We stand there, staring at each other.
“Oh, fuck it,” she mutters as she grabs me by the shirt and drags me through her apartment, barely giving me time to shut the door and lock it.
When we get to her bedroom, she starts undressing, and I stop her. “What’s going on, EJ?”
She frowns at me. “Sex.”
“No.”
Her eyebrows rise up. “Excuse me?”
“What I mean is not this way. You don’t seem all that sober, and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Oh,” she says, then her lips curve. “That’s really sweet, but I’m just buzzed right now.”
I nod. “You didn’t seem all that sure at the door.”
“Oh, I’ve wanted to jump you since you showed up at Allison’s house.”
“Yeah, about that. I hadn’t planned on it.”
She shrugs. “It’s okay.”
“No, I don’t want you to think you can’t have time by yourself with your friends.”
“I know, Harry. I don’t need your permission.” She pulls her shirt over her head, then tugs off her capri pants, tossing them on the floor
“Of course not. That was the point.”
She rolls her eyes and settles her hands on her hips. “Why do you have so many clothes on?”
“I…” my voice trails off because she stalks toward me like a panther ready to strike. She’s
a little scary, but…damn if it doesn’t turn me on. She stops in front of me and pushes me until I fall back onto the mattress. She pulls off my shoes.
“I can do that.”
“You were taking too long. Take off your shirt.”
I do as she orders because, fuck, she’s sexy all the time, but especially when she orders me around. She climbs on the bed and straddles my legs, crawling up my body. Oh, fuck. She sits back on the tops of my thighs and looks down at where my cock is easy to see in an outline in my jeans.
She reaches out and slips her hand over my dick. Even through the fabric, I know she can feel it jerk against her hand. The look she shoots me is filled with arousal and triumph. She undoes the button and unzips my jeans. My dick is straining against the knit fabric of my boxers. Again, she rubs her hand over my cock, but she does it while she’s staring at me. Fuck. Me.
She eases down the fabric of my boxers, then leans over and licks me. From the root all the way up to the tip, until she takes me into her mouth. My eyes roll back in my head as I feel her tongue flick over the crown.
“Oh, damn, Elliana,” I groan.
She takes me into her mouth, all the way to the back of her throat. I’d been aroused before, but now…yeah, now I’m losing it. I’m not sure I can control myself much longer, and she’s barely been sucking me long enough for that. But this power thing she has going on is pushing me to the edge faster than any time before now.
After a few minutes, and me trying my best not to lose myself into her mouth, she pulls back.
“We need to get you all the way naked. I need more access,” she says, scooting down my legs. I help her get my jeans and boxers off, but then I motion toward her. “You need to lose the panties and bra.
She smiles and does just that. Now she’s crawling back up my body, her bare flesh sliding against mine. Her nipples are hard as they skim over my chest. She settles her weight on her hands on either side of my head.
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