by Kimber White
“God!” I cried. She knew just what to do as if I’d trained her. Fuck. I wanted to do that too. We had only just begun.
Shae worked her lips and tongue, drawing them up and down. She cupped my balls with one hand, gently kneading them between her fingers. She gripped my ass with her other hand and swallowed me whole.
I couldn’t last. Not like this. She was too damn good at it. When she looked up at me, I lost all control. I threw my head back and let her take me. All of me. I let out an arc of fire, blasting it to the top of the cave as I came.
Then, it was Shae’s turn. I turned her, putting her on all fours, her legs spread wide. I slid two fingers inside of her and used my mouth on her. She didn’t last long either. Her orgasm started almost at once. Her thighs twitched as she struggled to stay in position. I slid my free arm around her waist to hold her steady, then punished her little sex with my tongue.
Finally, Shae collapsed against me. I pulled her to my chest and let her hair fall around me. But, I couldn’t stand not looking at all of her. I slid out from beneath her.
“Shae,” I whispered. “My sweet, sweet, Shae. You taste just like honey.”
Honey and cinnamon. I traced a line with my tongue, covering the flat planes of her stomach, between her breasts, swirling over the tiny freckles I loved so much.
“Xander, I want you,” she said. “I want all of you. You keep saying you’re trying to protect me. From what? I don’t believe you could ever hurt me.”
I pressed my forehead against her breasts. God, I could stay there forever. I loved how her nipples rose to hard peaks the instant I touched them. Her areolas went dark like wine the more aroused she got. I loved all the little changes that went on in her body in response to mine. She was so willing, so eager, so trusting.
I knew I owed her the truth. All of it. But, part of me couldn’t fully admit it to myself. This is the most we could ever be. And I knew every second I spent with her like this, it would only get harder to tear myself away. I’d come so close a few minutes ago. The demon inside me was willing to break free and take her, spread her wide and plunge into her, claiming her once and for all.
I kissed her other nipple and rose beside her. We would stay here in Knoydart today and maybe even into tomorrow. But soon, very soon, I’d need to take her back.
“Xander.” She put a hand to my cheek. “Look at me. Tell me what’s wrong. I love being with you. I love the feel of you. It’s good. It’s right. I know it. I feel it here.”
She pressed my palm between her breasts, straight over her heart. Hers beat strong in time with mine.
“Shae, it’s complicated. I’m a dragon. You’re human. My fire…”
“Don’t tell me about your fire. Don’t you remember? The other night? You didn’t burn me. Not even a little.”
“I was holding back,” I said. “It’s going to get harder and harder for me to do that. Every time, I lose a little more of myself. The dragon is going to take over.”
“So let’s not let it. You said...your mother said...if you take a mate, you can stop this sickness or whatever it’s called. And...I can’t believe I’m saying this. I mean, let’s be real. My life has gotten extraordinarily weird over the last two weeks. But, I think I’m starting to believe in fate. It put Marvin in my path eight years ago. Now, it’s done the same with you. I trust you.”
She did. I could feel it in my heart. I even believed she’d be willing to try with me because of that trust. It made a certain amount of sense. If fate brought us together, how could it be so cruel as to make our mating destroy her?
I owed her the truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it. Shae had been through enough. She’d lost her home. Her family. Her mentor. Somehow, I had to find a way to make her whole again.
“I’m sorry for what my mother did,” I said. “It’s not settled between her and me. If I’d known what she planned, I never would have left you alone with her.”
Shae took a hard breath and drew her knees to her chest. “You know, I’m pissed at her too. It was a cheap trick sending me back to Marvin’s store and I hate myself for falling for it. I’m not a fan of being used as bait. At least, not without my consent.”
She bit her lip and stared out at the canyon.
“But?” I said. “At least, I sense there’s one coming.”
Shae raised a brow. “But...I get why she did it. She’s a mother. She’s your mother. I have a feeling she’s had to do a whole lot worse than almost getting me killed to keep you and your brothers safe all these years. I mean, if it were my child...if we had children...I think maybe I’d be willing to do anything to protect them.”
Her words cut straight through my heart. My dragon rumbled. Yes! My mate! She should bear MY CHILD!
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drive out the vivid image of Shae’s body tearing in two as that child clawed its way out of her. Because she would die. If she survived the mating at all, no human woman had ever brought a dragonling into the world and lived.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” I said. “I would understand if you hated Avelina for what she did.”
“She’s your mother,” Shae said, her voice soft, filled with emotion. “You’re part of her. She’s done the bravest thing of all by bringing you into the world, Xander. Now, I can’t say she’s my favorite person right now. But, no. I don’t hate her. I could never hate someone that you love. That doesn’t mean things are settled between us. In fact, I think Avelina and I need to have a conversation, just the two of us. And soon.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Once I started, it took over me. God, this woman. Both the women in my life. They were strong, stubborn, glorious.
“Come on,” I said. I rose to my feet and held my hand out to Shae. She was easy with me again, her smile lighting her eyes. For now, she’d decided this was enough. Though she had questions still, she laid them aside.
Part of me felt a little like a coward for not telling her the truth just then. But, I was selfish when it came to Shae. God help me. God help us both.
She knew what I wanted without me even asking. She trailed her fingers across my arm, moving to my back. She took a quick jump and I caught her legs. She folded them around my waist. Shae squealed with joy as I shifted instantly. Then, I took to the air to show her the rest of lands we called home.
Chapter Fifteen
Shae
Whatever magic the Isles of Knoydart held, it calmed Xander’s soul. Since the moment I met him, I’d felt his restless spirit. The churning fire within him. It was still there. I felt it in his touch, saw it swirling behind his eyes. But here, in his ancestral homelands, he seemed better able to control it.
This place felt lost in time. Remote, full of desolate beauty, I could imagine how hard it had been for Avelina in those first few years after losing Xander’s father. Xander had never known him, and yet, he had to carry so much of the great Magnus Brandhart within him. This place was his place too. Though I couldn’t put words to it, I could feel his father’s dragon everywhere. It was a looming, powerful presence.
During the day, Xander showed me the sights and took me down to the closest town. It was quaint and small with friendly people and an easy pace. It felt like stepping into a mid-twentieth-century time capsule. Everyone seemed to know everyone. It wasn’t unusual to have to stop for a herd of sheep to cross the road.
We had lunch at a small pub built inside a converted church. He introduced me to the MacMurrays, the Kinneys, the Hansons. While the townspeople seemed to know Xander, they kept a respectful distance, as if they were all in on some secret but were afraid to say too much. They knew who he was, but not what he was. He’d grown up in this town, but these were the distant descendants of the people who’d known the truth about his family.
At night, we’d head back to the lair. Each evening, just as the sun set, we found a secret spot on a rocky ledge. The churning lava below would belch, setting off a different set of fireworks. The little volcano itself
was cloaked with the same magic that kept regular people from seeing Xander’s dragon. The people in town had lived at the foothills of this natural wonder for centuries and never even knew.
I settled myself against Xander’s chest, loving the heat of his skin against my head. I loved everything about him. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere. I belonged with him. But Xander kept his distance too. Though I ached for him, and knew he did too, he wouldn’t touch me except for a chaste kiss now and then. He would hold me, but nothing more. And he wouldn’t tell me why.
On our eighth morning in Knoydart, I bathed in the natural springs on the north side of the mountain. The water bubbled up near a long, thin waterfall. Xander found me there. I sensed him before I saw him. His heartbeat seemed to fill me. I turned and found him watching me from a ledge above. That irresistible ache started between my legs as I turned to face him. I went slow, letting the water sluice down my body. Xander’s eyes glinted green, his own desire rising just as mine did.
I touched myself, hoping to finally lure him to me. I’d tried a million other times since that first night. But, my dragon was strong. He would deny himself and he would deny me. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t stop trying.
I threw my head back and let my fingers slide down between my breasts. Down and down until I spread my legs and found the sensitive little bud. Xander’s growl of lust reached me, spurring me on. I stroked myself for him. From the corner of my eye, I saw him doing the same. God, why wouldn’t he touch me? I’d asked him a dozen times. Each time, he grew quiet and found a way to shift and leave me for a while until the intensity of our need for each other faded a bit.
“Xander,” I whispered. Even with the rushing water, I knew he could hear me. “Please.”
I increased the rhythm of my strokes, finding myself so swollen, so open for him. We fit. He would fit. I just knew it. But, my pleas went unanswered. I let the water flow between my legs. My fingers were such a small comfort for what I really wanted inside of me.
As soon as I came, Xander shifted. His dragon arced high above me, letting out a soulful screech that echoed through the canyon.
Later, I met him back at the cavern where we’d slept that first night. Still naked from his shift, his back glistened with sweat. His eyes burned with that mix of amber-green.
“It’s time to go back,” he said. I put a hand on his shoulder. I tried to turn him toward me.
“Why?” I asked. I needed more time. If I could just get Xander to open up again, I knew we could solve whatever problem there was between us.
“The longer I stay here, the greater the risk someone down there figures out who I really am. Knoydart is an old town. Superstitions run deep. There are rumors about my family, of course. The more they see me, the more questions people ask, the more assumptions they make. Better to keep it mysterious.”
I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He didn’t pull away, but that now familiar sadness came into his eyes. “Whatever you say,” I said. “But, sooner or later, you’re going to have to answer my questions.”
He smiled and ran a hand through my hair. “I know. But, not today.”
With that, he stepped away from me. With a rush of air and magic, he shifted. His dragon unfurled his great, silvery wings and Xander dipped his head. Smiling, I climbed on his back and we took to the sky.
* * *
I felt the world slip away from me in every way that it could as we crossed the ocean. Something had happened. It was one more thing Xander wouldn’t tell me. He’d heard from his brothers or his mother. Something. Knoydart had been magical, but it was starting to feel like a goodbye.
I pressed my head against Xander’s scales and squeezed my eyes shut. It felt childish. As if I could stop time or hide if I didn’t look at what was coming.
I had nearly died the day Xander flew into my life. Now, it felt like I’d die without him. But, we couldn’t go on like this. Whatever he was trying to protect me from, it was killing me more to be with him only halfway.
The coastline took shape below me. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to this. There was no way someone like me was supposed to survive this kind of flight. And yet, I did. Xander said it was his magic, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was a little of my own.
He landed softly on the Brandhart Building rooftop then dipped his head so I could slide off. I reached up and rested a hand between his nostrils. His dragon let out a snort and stomped his foot. Then, Xander shifted. Marie or someone had left a change of clothes folded for him near the entrance to the stairway. He got quietly dressed and came to me.
“Will you be all right here for a few hours?”
“What? I guess.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’ve been away probably a little too long. I’ve got a few business-related fires to put out this morning. But then, we can have dinner together. Anywhere you want.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I mean, is it safe for us to go out?”
He smoothed my hair back. “I think so. Plus, you’ll be with me.”
“Right,” I put a hand up, stopping him before he said the thing he always said. The thing that was now starting to irritate me. He would protect me. He would always protect me. But he was unwilling to let me all the way in.
“Okay,” I said. “I’d like that. But Xander, now that we’re back. You can’t avoid things. We need to talk. You need to tell me the truth about why you’ve been pushing me away.”
His sad smile broke my heart. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I’ll try,” he said. “Tonight.”
We walked into the elevator together. Xander kissed me again as he dropped me off at my suite. It felt like years since I’d been here. How could it only be a few weeks since I first came here? Everything had changed. I didn’t even feel like the same person anymore.
I took a long shower and dressed, choosing a simple black skirt and top. Marie sent up takeout and I ate a light lunch alone, staring out at the lake. Finally, I knew I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I folded my napkin over my plate and went back out to the elevators.
I didn’t need to summon anyone. I didn’t need to call ahead. Somehow, I knew exactly where she’d be waiting. I stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the fifth floor.
Chapter Sixteen
Shae
Avelina stood against the window. She wore a flowing black tunic with a split collar and black linen pants that she somehow kept looking crisp. She had her arms crossed in front of her, looking pensive as she stared out at the pier and watched Centennial Wheel slowly turn.
“It’s a good thing they didn’t have that wheel up there when we first moved out here,” she said. “My boys would have been a terror trying to buzz it all the time.”
I laughed at the image of five young dragons wreaking havoc on unsuspecting tourists below. “I think maybe I would have liked to see that.”
Avelina smiled. She finally turned to me. “I think maybe I would have too. I suppose it’s not too late. Get enough Scottish whiskey into them one night and you might get your wish. God help us all.”
She pressed her back to the window. “He loves it there,” she said.
I was beginning to understand the patterns of how Avelina spoke. She always seemed as if she were a moment or two ahead. As if it were a test to see if her listener could keep up.
Knoydart. She was talking about Knoydart. “I can see why,” I answered. “It’s...part of him. He draws strength from it.”
Avelina raised a brow. “It’s the closest he’ll ever get to knowing his father, I guess.”
“And it’s why you couldn’t stay.”
Avelina had the same sad smile as her son. She closed her eyes, retrieving a painful memory. When she opened them again, her expression became more stoic.
“I told them it was for their safety. And I suppose it was. Too much longer, people would have started noticing the men of the Brandhart family don’t exactly age like regular men. Better
to move around.”
“I think some of them do notice,” I said. “It’s just a feeling I got when we were in town. They look at Xander with awe. I mean...anyone would. He’s Xander. But in Scotland, it was something else. An understanding.”
Avelina pushed off the wall. She went to the small bar in the corner of the room and poured herself a glass of scotch. She offered one to me, but I waved her off. I wanted a clear head for this conversation.
“Growing up without a father was worse on Xander then my other sons, I think. Of all of them, it took him longer to find his place in the world. You know, Chicago was his idea. This building, the foundation, it was all Xander’s plan. I think I would have been just as happy staying in New York. Boston. Even Paris. But, Xander took one look at that lake shore and this is where he wanted to stay.”
“I’m glad he did,” I said.
Avelina set her glass down. “I never understood it. It’s always been more natural for us to live on the coast. They could have chosen anywhere, but my sons chose Chicago. So far inland. I mean, there’s the lake, but we’ve always been more comfortable with the ocean at our backs.”
She shrugged. She gestured to the seat beside her, but I wanted to stand. Avelina was building to something and I felt the physical need to brace myself.
“So what would you have really done if Xander hadn’t gotten to me when he did?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her. She could speak in riddles all she wanted, but Avelina and I had a reckoning brewing between us.
She picked at her nail. “If I’d wanted you harmed, you would be, Shae.”
Her eyes flashed ice and fire. Once again, I knew Xander’s mother was testing me. I straightened my back and suffered her gaze.
“You’d lose Xander forever,” I said. In that instant, I knew it was true. And Avelina did too. She was the first to flinch.