by A B Turner
"How many of those have you had?"
Suddenly Kat was standing in front of me, her dark eyes twinkling with a broad smile,
"So how's it been today?" she asked brightly, one look at my expression caused a slight frown to darken her expression,
"Oh sweetheart, that bad? Come on, I'll help you clear this lot up and then I'll buy you a glass of wine..."
She studied my face more closely,
"OK..let's make that several glasses, it looks like you need them."
Less than half an hour later, we were in our familiar wine bar, true to her word, a large glass of wine was in front of me,
"I can't do this Kat, it's so boring," I moaned, "I thought promotional work would be a challenge, make me think, but the only real challenge is staying awake."
Kat listened patiently until I had obviously whined enough in her opinion,
"So what do you want to do? Go back to the hellhole?"
I sighed heavily,
"At least I knew what I was doing there.."
Kat banged her glass down hard on the wooden table,
"You were rotting away! That's what you were doing there, you know that as well as I do, why do you think I left?"
I looked back at her, almost angrily, as I quickly pointed out she had left to be with Matt, she had a life, she had a future and I had nothing, nothing more than a job that was going to be even worse than the one I had left. Kat's momentary outburst subsided as she took my hand and looked at me, her eyes filled with concern,
"I know it must be hard for you, with Lainie gone, but please don't give up, not after one day, at least give it a month and if you still hate it, I'll drive you back myself, what do you say?"
Every part of me wanted to argue, but instead, I just sighed and nodded my agreement, Kat patted my hand,
"That's my girl, now let's celebrate with another drink."
Before I had a chance to point out I hadn't actually finished the one I had, she leapt up from the table and wormed her way through the crowd to the bar. I sat back in my chair, silently hoping she was right about the job getting more interesting, as I sipped the remainder of my wine.
Kat returned carefully carrying two glasses, one was clearly wine and the other water, as she sat down, she answered the question I hadn't actually asked,
"I'm driving, sweetheart, but there's no reason you can't have some more, I'll make sure you get home in one piece, " she paused and scanned the bar, " Unless of course, you'd prefer someone else," she added slyly. I rolled my eyes and she laughed,
"Oh come on honey, why not? It wouldn't be the first time you took someone home, don't you remember? Those two young guys...oh what was yours called?"
I sighed resignedly,
"Jack..although you christened him Pirate Jack."
Kat grinned at me,
"That's right, oh now that was fun, exhausting but fun."
I couldn't help but smile back, until I saw her scan the room again and realised what she was thinking,
"Oh no Kat, don't start trying to hook me up with someone," I insisted firmly, she glanced over,
"I mean it, no hooking me up," I repeated firmly, she pulled a face,
"I'm married now so I have to behave, I had hoped you were going to provide the excitement from now on," she moaned, "Anyway, how long has it been for you? Must be months."
I was about to argue until I realised my last sexual experience had been with Jay, at her wedding and that had resulted in a humiliating cab ride home alone. I shuddered at the memory, which Kat noticed immediately,
"Hmmm, obviously not a happy memory, eh Carrie?"
I shook my head sadly, she shifted her chair slightly closer to me,
"You know I love you, but sweetheart, don't shut yourself away, I worry so much about you being on your own so much, so does Matt."
I looked at her, and suddenly wished I could just tell her everything, but I knew I couldn't, not then and probably not ever, especially about Vanessa.
"I will be okay, I just need to get settled in this job and more used to Lainie not being around, then maybe.."
Kat almost leapt at the word 'maybe',
"Maybe you'll find someone to have wild passionate sex, which you'll be so disgusted about the next day, your only hope will be to confide in me!"
I laughed,
"Maybe..as long as this wild sex includes unspeakable acts of depravity," I added.
"Is there any other kind?" Kat joked.
As the mood had lightened, we spent the rest of the evening joyously people-watching and just laughing, which, after the day I'd had, was exactly what was needed. However, as the bar started to empty, it was time to go and we reluctantly gathered up our belongings and walked arm in arm to the door. When the night air hit after the warmth of the bar, we both shivered,
"So are you going to be alright?" Kat asked, her eyes searching my face for some kind of confirmation, I assured her I would be fine, hugged her close to say goodnight and started to walk home alone. As I passed the houses, there seemed to be some form of family life happening in all of them, as I could hear raised voices, the noise of a television or music blaring from a bedroom. By the time I reached my own front door, it seemed even darker and quieter than normal, so as soon as a I was inside, I turned on more lights than I needed and put the radio on for some kind of company. After changing into my pajamas, even though it was late, I felt restless and wandered around the house like a ghost until my eyes came to rest on my iPad. It had been a gift from Lainie, so, aside from other things we could keep in touch through Facebook. I picked it up and idly switched it on, hoping maybe she would be around to talk, as I scrolled down the page, my eyes were drawn to pictures of her and Damon, they were smiling at each other, underneath she had written about them heading off into the countryside for a few days. Almost without thinking, I started to read other posts from people who had been 'friends' for some time, but who I had never really had any kind of meaningful interaction. We had shared jokes and countless pictures of gorgeous men, but there were few I had ever really connected with beyond the everyday banter. I scanned down my notifications, I had been tagged in all manner of things, so feeling duty bound, I found every post and dutifully clicked the 'like' button, I was just about to log off,when I noticed I had a private message. I was half-tempted to ignore it, but curiosity got the better of me, so I went to Messenger, hoping to see something from Lainie, but it took only a matter of minutes to see it wasn't her name in bold type, it was someone calling himself, 'Big Love Monkey.' I sighed heavily, but for some reason, I clicked on his message, even though I knew what the likely content would be and, as I had feared, there it was, a blurry picture of a partially-erect penis. I wanted to angrily type back to him, at how disgusting he was and how he had absolutely no hope of ever attracting a woman in this way. But instead, I just deleted his message, as I had done countless others and logged off without comment. As I walked through the silent house, switching off all the unnecessary lights, I just wondered if this was to be life now. As I crawled under the covers, I decided to try and not dwell on things too much, after all, I had more days of selling the drink that was bad enough.
Chapter 4
After the third day of the drink promotion finally dragged itself towards closure, I had decided this job was just not for me. Aside from the fact I spent the day being ignored, I worked alone and this coupled with nights wandering around the house, with nothing but the television for company, it just seemed as if I was sinking without trace. Perhaps I had been too hasty in quitting my other job, for all its faults, I did have friends there, whereas now, the longest conversation I'd had during any day, was with an elderly woman who couldn't find the custard powder at the supermarket.
As I stood in the lift on my way to see Diana, I had pretty much decided it was time to resign, even though, the promise I had made Kat was still fresh in my mind. I stepped out of the lift and walked to Diana's office, I was just about to knock, when Jacquie appear
ed at my side,
"She's not in this morning Carrie, she's gone on a killing spree," she said simply, on seeing my slightly anxious expression, she smiled,
"Don't look so worried, she never actually kills anyone, she just visits whoever has upset her, rants at them until they wish she would kill them."
I smiled and followed her into her cluttered office, after she quickly shifted a mountain of magazines from a chair, I sat down opposite her and prepared to begin my resignation speech. But, somehow, she seemed to know what was coming,
"So on a scale of one to ten, how miserable are you?" she asked, while taking an unfeasibly large bite out of an already half-eaten biscuit.
"I'd say around a nine," I replied glumly, "I can't do this, Jacquie, it's so boring, so I'm going to hand in my..."
Before I could finish, she raised her hand, we both waited while she finished the last mouthful and then she spoke,
"Don't say it, Carrie, you'll regret it if you leave now, I promise you."
I looked doubtfully at her, when I said nothing, she sighed,
"I know it feels like you're flogging a dead horse, when you're trying to sell some crappy product to people who couldn't care less what's in it and just want to get on with their shopping, but that's not the whole job. I've seen your sales figures, you did bloody well sweetheart, here...let me show you.."
As she searched through the pile of paperwork, I was completely amazed at her last statement, I had actually done well? It didn't seem possible, I thought back across the promotion, it had felt like I had barely done anything aside from develop sore calf muscles and a blister from the new shoes I'd bought for work. After several minutes of scuffling, Jacquie pulled a sheet from the bottom of the pile, she quickly scanned it and then thrust it across the desk at me, pointing at a list of names,
"See? You came sixth, which is bloody amazing when you think what you were selling," she insisted, looking up at me, obviously hoping to see some kind of positive response from me. I was still in some kind of mild shock, so I checked the list again, but there was no question she was right, there was my name.
"You'll qualify for a bonus too," she added, taking the sheet back and carefully placing it back in the bulging file,
"So what do you think now, Carrie? Give it another go, yes?" she asked, her eyes beaming at me, "Go on, you know it makes sense."
I laughed and nodded my agreement, not only because of her persistence, but that promise was haunting me too, so I accepted I had little choice. Jacquie was clearly relieved, perhaps because she had avoided having to tell Diana, whatever her reason, she started ferreting around once more,
"Now I know it's here somewhere.." she muttered impatiently, I offered to help but she shook her head,
"Don't be offended, sweetheart, but I have a very strict system."
I couldn't help but smile, as the desk was overflowing with files and paperwork which Jacquie sifted through with growing agitation. She sat back in her chair, her small face fixed in a deep frown, as I watched, she absent-mindedly reached down into an open drawer and pulled out another biscuit. She munched pensively,
"I can come back," I suggested, but she seemed completely lost in thought until something on the floor caught her eye,
"There you are!" she announced gleefully, sending a shower of biscuit crumbs in every direction, as she picked up the lost file and tossed it gently across the desk to me.
"This is a one day gig, some kind of wine-tasting thing, how does that sound?"
I leafed through the brief, it did seem relatively similar to the last one until the last page, where, in bold type, it said it was a two person promotion, when I raised this with Jacquie, she smiled,
"Yes, sweetheart, I thought you might like some company, that's why I'm sending Tom along with you, lovely guy, you'll like him."
Even though the prospect of working with someone else did make me feel better, I couldn't help but wonder what Tom might be like, after all, the last thing I needed was another creep.
But realising I was hardly being fair to him as we hadn't even met, much to Jacquie's obvious delight, I agreed to do the promotion and left her office. Once back in the lift, the doors were just closing when I heard someone call out,
"Can you hold the doors?"
I quickly put my hand between them, causing them to slip back open and a man darted into the lift, once I could see he was safely inside, I removed my hand and the doors closed.
"Thanks," he said gratefully, he was now standing behind me, so I had to turn to reply and found myself looking directly at him. He was tall, athletic-looking, his beaming smile seemed to light up from his tanned face, framed by neatly-cropped blonde hair and punctuated with deep, blue eyes.
"No problem," I answered, silently wishing Kat could see me at this exact moment, in a lift with this gorgeous-looking man. I stared ahead, fixing my gaze on the emergency notice which outlined what to do should there be a mechanical fault. As I offered up a sincere hope such a fault would happen any minute, he spoke again,
"It's just I'm meeting my boyfriend for lunch and he gets seriously moody if I'm late, which I nearly always am, if I'm honest," he laughed, I smiled back even though my spirits seemed to be going down faster than the lift at the mention of the word 'boyfriend.'
When we reached the ground floor, as soon as the doors opened, he sprang forward, stopping only briefly to thank me again before half-sprinting across the lobby. I wandered out of the building, I had the rest of the day to myself which I hadn't planned, so after carefully putting the brief in my bag, I started to walk without any real idea as to where I was going. I had barely taken a few steps, when I thought I heard someone call my name, as I really didn't know anyone in the area, I decided I must have been mistaken and started to walk again.
"Carrie...Carrie Sullivan."
This time there was no mistake, I looked around and saw a man running towards me, I stopped and waited, slightly confused as to who this was and why they were so insistent. He breathlessly arrived at my side, he pushed his long, brown hair back from his face and looked at me,
"Sorry about that, it's just Jacquie pointed you out from up there," he waved his hand in the general direction of the office building, " And I wanted to say hello."
Still not absolutely sure who this was, I replied with a cautious hello, he smiled,
"Sorry, you don't know who the hell I am, do you? I'm Tom," he stretched his hand out which I shook,
"I'm starving, if you're not busy, do you fancy having some lunch?" he asked, when he caught sight of my slightly dubious expression, he quickly spoke again,"We could go through the brief at the same time, if you like, Carrie?"
My mind was starting to formulate a reasonable excuse to decline, but my mouth seemed to be working independently,
"That would be great," I heard myself say, before my mind had a chance to think any more, Tom smiled,
"Shall we go then? There's a place just around the corner which is pretty good."
"Sounds perfect, " I replied, feeling slightly more comfortable, as when I looked at him, although he wasn't conventionally handsome, there was something about his open face, his obviously-ready smile, his sparkling hazel eyes, and just his whole presence made me feel safe.
As the sun was shining, we opted to take our lunch to one of the wooden tables dotted around the garden of the restaurant. Despite being in the middle of the city, sitting under the trees, with only the sound of the birds, the low chatter of the other diners and the intoxicating smell of the honeysuckle plants draped over the fence, it felt as if we were in the deepest countryside. Between mouthfuls, we talked and laughed easily, it surprised me just how comfortable I felt with him, considering we had only just met. After lunch, he stretched his long legs out from under the table and patted his stomach with a satisfied smile on his face,
"That was just what I needed, was yours ok?"
"It was delicious, thank you," I answered truthfully, while wishing there had been sligh
tly more of the perfectly-crisp fries that had accompanied my salad.
"So, you're not married, Carrie?" he asked, "That seems unlikely."
"It's true, but why unlikely?" I replied, starting to wonder where this conversation was headed.