by A B Turner
‘Fuck I want you right now.’
My fingers pushed rhythmically deeper, I could feel a surge of cum running down them, my whole body felt as if it was on fire,the pleasure was so intense I couldn’t resist any more, it washed over me. I needed him to know what he was doing to me, so even though I could barely see, I typed,
‘I’m gonna cum.’
He answered,
‘Oh fuck losing control, cumming on you.’
‘oh fuck I can’t stop.’
‘Fuck.’
The thought of his body pushing hard into me, both of us hot, sweating, moaning with pleasure..cum spurting between us, sweet and sticky..was just too much, and I was swept away, writhing and heaving. My whole body was shaking, my heart pounding so hard in my chest, I was sure it was going to burst free at any moment. I struggled to catch my breath as I fumbled for my phone, there was only one word to read,
‘Cumming.’
The phone to slipped through my fingers and on to the tangled, wet sheets, but I didn’t care. In that moment, I just wanted to imagine him lying next to me, both of us breathing hard, bodies locked together, skin on skin, this thought filled every possible corner of my mind. After several moments, I managed to regain enough control to type again,
‘That was just so fucking hot.’
As I did, I reluctantly allowed my fingers to escape from my body, as they did, still more cum spilled from me and on to the bedcover, as I waited for him to reply, when it finally appeared, it was simple.
‘Beautiful.’
I felt my body relax slightly, but I wasn’t ready to let him go just yet, I still wasn’t sure what had just happened or why it had with him, but I did know whatever it was, I wanted more. So I quickly typed again,
‘Can we do this again?’
I waited, but his answer was not what I had expected.
‘Okay, but have to go now, speak to you soon x.’
Before I really had a chance to reply, I saw him go offline and I was alone. I waited, hoping against hope he would change his mind and come back, but when a few moments, turned to minutes, I was forced to accept, it wasn’t going to happen. As I had no desire to have any kind of conversation with anyone else, I quickly logged off, switched off my phone and slipped under the fresh sheets. As I lay there, in the half-light, I thought back to what had just happened, there was no denying how good it had felt and that was because of him, because of Skylar. Since my time with Vanessa, I had often wondered if another person could make me feel quite so much, man or woman. But this had been unlike anything I had ever known, of course it wasn’t love, that would be impossible, the truth was, I didn’t really know what it was, but I was very sure I wanted more. But perhaps that was never going to happen, he had gone so quickly, maybe I would just have to accept, all this had meant for him was a pleasurable diversion and nothing more. As I was still feeling the blissful effects of our meeting, I closed my eyes and silently forced out any thoughts this would never happen again. I could only hope he felt the same way, but until he got in touch, there was no real way of knowing. I considered messaging him again, but quickly dismissed the idea, at best he would be happy, but the worst would be, he’d think I was just some crazy stalker and instantly block me. I breathed in deeply, the unmistakable smell of sex filled the air, as it seemed to surround every part of me, I knew I didn’t want to think of anything else.
Some hours later, I awoke to the sound of laughing and shouting from outside my window, it was the instantly recognisable sound of people heading into town for their night out – I had somehow lost the whole afternoon. Before I had even really become fully conscious, I grabbed my phone, hoping there was some message from Skylar. But the merest glance showed there was nothing, I was about to replace it on the bedside table when the familiar pinging sound of an incoming message grabbed my attention. I quickly looked again, but it was only Kat,
‘Just checking in, sweetheart, hope you’re okay, Matt says hi, see you Monday xx.’
I quickly answered and waited, willing the phone to do something..anything...but it remained stubbornly silent, so after several more minutes, I accepted the inevitable and switched it off. After another quick shower, I threw on my bathrobe and wandered into the lounge, thankful the curtains were still drawn from the night before. I slumped on to the sofa and hit the remote, as always, Saturday night TV was all about the public, either professing their intention to be the next Madonna before vocally murdering one of her songs or jumping up and down on a game show, with almost frightening levels of enthusiasm, considering the top prize would barely pay for a day out. Although I had no real interest in either, I found myself watching with a rare intensity, hoping if I could get totally caught up in their antics, I might think less about Skylar. But after watching a particularly tuneless boy lurch around the stage while allegedly singing a Justin Timberlake classic, I decided enough was enough, switched him off and drifted back into my bedroom. I had barely entered the room, when my eyes fell once more on the phone,
“Give it up, Carrie, he’s not going to be there,” I told myself, but my hands weren’t in the mood to listen, as I found myself logging back on to Facebook. I sat down on the very edge of my bed, hardly daring to look, but as I had predicted, there was nothing. I was about to go, when I noticed a recent post from an American friend, wishing us all a good morning, I groaned at my own stupidity,
“The time difference!” I gasped, I hurriedly found the world clock on my phone, it instantly confirmed it was the early hours of the following morning in Australia, so chances were, he was now asleep. Before I logged off again, I couldn’t resist looking at his picture just one more time. As before, it was those amazing eyes which captivated me, there seemed to be a whole story held within them and I wondered if I would ever know it.
Chapter 9
As the familiar sounds of the early morning started to break the silence of night, I slowly awoke, even though I had tried to put yesterday’s events out of my mind, I felt as if I hadn’t really slept. I stared blankly up at the ceiling and found myself questioning whether the whole thing with Skylar had actually happened at all. As I lay there, it seemed so unlikely, I had found such a connection with someone I barely knew and there was still the nagging suspicion, perhaps I had been set up in some way by Mason. Strangely, even though I had so many misgivings, when I glanced at my phone resting idly on the bedside table, I felt an almost-forgotten shiver of anticipation just at the thought of messaging him again. Although there seemed little real hope, there was still the remote chance it hadn’t been some kind of online joke, in fact, right now, there could be a message waiting for me. I found myself staring at the phone, as if hoping, in some way, even though it was still switched off, there might be some sign, he had done something. After several minutes, I sighed heavily,
“Come on Carrie, you’re not going to know anything unless you look.”
I cradled the phone in my hand as it started the seemingly interminable process involved with switching itself on, as the screen finally appeared, I could hardly bear to look, the desire to see something-anything- from him, was simply overwhelming. Through half-closed eyes, I immediately saw the message icon was highlighted, I could feel myself hold my breath as I clicked,
“Please let it be from him,” I whispered, still not really knowing why it was so important to me. As I scanned down the list of unread messages, my eyes rested on his name and yes, there was something from him. Before I dared open the message, I glanced at the clock, I was relieved to see, it was still early, so I had plenty of time to read before having to start preparing for work. Once this fact was established in my mind, I looked back at the still unread message,
“Just read it,” the insistent voice whispered again, so after taking yet another deep breath, I quickly tapped on his name, as if knowing, if I showed even more hesitation, I might not open it at all.
The first line was simple, direct and yet managed to make it feel as if, at any moment, my heart cou
ld leap out of my chest,
‘Hey Carrie, I hope you’re okay, I wanted you to know, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, yesterday was so fucking hot, hope you feel the same way. If you want to message again that would be great. Maybe we can talk soon, Sxx’
I sat back and re-read those words ‘fucking hot’ again, so he obviously felt the same way as me, I felt the broadest of smiles spread across my face. Even though I knew logically, sexting a stranger could be a ridiculously-risky thing to do, after all, I had warned Lainie often enough, I just couldn’t resist typing back to Skylar.
‘I’ve been thinking about you too, I have to get ready for work now, but I will message you as soon as I can, by the way, I hope it was alright, I looked at your profile picture and you have the most amazing eyes. Talk to you soon, Cxx’
I pressed send, wishing I had more time to write more, but another glance at the clock showed, I had only just enough time to get to work on time.I quickly logged out and half-ran to the shower, reminding myself to catch up on the other messages I hadn’t read from friends, when I was safely on my way into the city. Less than an hour later, I was on the train and able to catch my breath, even though we were packed in like faintly-annoyed sardines, my mind didn’t seem to want to acknowledge anything but the thought of Skylar and what I wanted to say to him the next time we messaged. There was a tiny voice at the very back of my mind, reminding me this whole thing could appear as slightly ridiculous. I knew nothing about this man, but I was also very sure, I didn’t want that one moment to be the only time we shared. I was so lost in thought, it was only when I felt a rough push from behind me, I realised the train had finally arrived at my station. Before I had a chance to move, I felt another, harder push in the small of my back. I spun round, to find a large, red-faced lady glaring at me over the steel rims of her glasses,
“Just move,” she snapped, “Some of us have places to go.”
For a brief moment I felt the childish urge to push her back, but I quickly decided this would not only exacerbate the situation. So I smiled sweetly and let her pass me, offering her a cheery wave and a ‘have a nice day.’ She scowled back and I watched her stride down the platform, barging past anyone who was foolish enough to obstruct her path. I followed in her wake, shamelessly enjoying the fact, she had unwittingly cleared the way for me too. By the time I reached the office building, I had decided I would write a message to Skylar during my morning break, for although I knew I wanted to contact him, it seemed an almost ‘safer’ way, as not only would I be able to prepare what I wanted to say, but it would also give him time to respond. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt excited at just the thought of writing to him and, yes, I was nervous but in a way I had not really experienced since being with Vanessa. As always, the news vendor called out a happy ‘good morning’ as I passed his cramped stall, I waved back only to see him start to hurry towards me was about to keep walking in through the revolving doors, but he seemed to be very anxious to see me, so I paused.
“Hello love, I thought you might like to see this..” he said breathlessly, as he pulled a rolled up magazine from his pocket, flicked though the pages and then passed it to me. Within a moment, Vanessa’s face was smiling back at me, it seemed almost uncanny, as only seconds earlier, she had been in my thoughts. I knew the vendor was still talking, but I was lost in those eyes and the memories they invoked. It had been over a year ago now since we had first met, so much had happened in that time, my very life had changed beyond recognition- because of her. Suddenly the gentle touch of the newspaper seller’s hand on my elbow brought me out of my thoughts,
“...’ere love, you’d better get to work, I didn’t mean to hold you up, I just remembered you liked her and I knew you wouldn’t want to miss all the stuff about her wedding...” he beamed at me before adding, “...gonna cost an absolute bloody fortune, glad I’m not her Dad!”
I still felt slightly distracted, but I felt myself smile back and replied how lucky she would be to have him. His face lit up, before insisting I keep the magazine and refused my offer to pay. It seemed as if he was going to say something, but his attention was suddenly caught by a clearly impatient young man waiting to buy a newspaper.
The vendor hastily wished me a good day before rushing back to his stall, calling out an apology to the customer, I watched as the young man arrogantly tossed some coins on to the counter, took the paper and stomped away down the street.
The older man looked back at me and winked,
“Can’t please everyone, have a good day.”
“You too,” I called back before finally going through the doors and into the reception area, almost immediately I saw Kat looking anxiously around, when our eyes met, she smiled, I saw her clearly mouth the words ‘hurry up’, so I walked quickly across the marble floor to join her,
“Come on, Carrie, we’ve got to be in the conference room in five minutes.”
Almost as soon as the elevator doors silently closed, I found myself babbling to Kat about Skylar, my words almost spilling out of my mouth. When I had finished, I looked at her expectantly,
“So? What do you think?”
She turned to face me, her large eyes obviously filled with a heady mix concern and dismay, she sighed heavily,
“Look Carrie, sweetheart, I know you’re alone and I get that...I really do,” she paused, obviously hoping to hear some agreement from me, when I said nothing, she sighed again,
“But this is insane...sexting some Aussie man, what were you thinking?”
Her reaction temporarily dampened my excitement, mostly because having heard myself speak, it did sound like madness. But then I remembered what it had felt like when Sky and I had talked,
“I know what it sounds like, Kat, but it wasn’t some sleazy thing..it was more than that...there was something about it...” my voice tailed off as I was forced to acknowledge, I was now struggling to make any real sense.
I felt Kat put her arm around my shoulder,
“Whatever it was, sweetheart, just be very careful, everyone knows there’s a whole heap of nutters out there.”
I looked defiantly straight into her eyes,
“He is no nutter, I know it.”
Kat patted my arm and looked at me intently,
“Well, I can see it would be pointless to tell you not to get in touch with him again...but please promise me, you won’t send any pictures of yourself.”
Now it was my turn to sigh,
“I promise.”
The doors slid open, Kat squeezed my shoulder quickly, before we both stepped out into the bustling corridor.
“I just worry about you,” she said quietly, I smiled my thanks for her concern and was about to reply, when Jax appeared at her office door,
“I thought I heard you two, go on..get to the conference room, Diana is already there.”
We thanked her and half-ran to the double doors at the end of the hallway, as soon as we entered the room, I saw Diana look up,
“Two more have made the perilous journey here, I see, for a moment there, I thought I would be talking to myself.”
After a quick greeting, we both hurriedly took a seat,
“I am assuming you didn’t catch a glimpse of the rest of the team?” Diana asked hopefully, on hearing our negative response, she sighed,
“I wish I could say I was surprised.”
She looked back down at her desk and began flicking through a file, Kat and I exchanged glances, but neither of us spoke, leaving the huge room echoing to no other sound than sheets of paper being turned over. Thankfully, the others started to wander through the doors, I noticed all of them pick up their pace when their eyes met Diana’s imperious gaze. Finally, she seemed satisfied everyone necessary was now present and so she began her assessment of the nights’ events. As I had seen before in these meetings, she expressed her disappointment and praise in equal measure and I was relieved she seemed fairly happy with my own contribution, remarking,
“...Ca
rrie, you did well, aside from perhaps allowing your attention to be rather dominated by a few guests, but how to deal with that situation will come with experience..so well done.”
She smiled and I almost immediately felt like I was back at school and had been given a gold star by the teacher. After over an hour had passed, Diana finally ended the meeting and we all stood,
“Come on, Carrie, let’s grab a coffee.” whispered Kat, I was about to answer, when I heard Diana call my name,
“Just a word, please,” she said, “oh and Kat, before you ask, no, you can’t stay, this is a private conversation.”
Kat shrugged and walked through the swing doors without answering, several of the others glanced over to me, clearly suspecting I was in some kind of serious trouble. When everyone had left, Diana sat down and motioned to me to sit opposite her, we sat in silence for several
moments, which felt strange and quite unnerving. My mind raced back to the launch, searching for some incident which might have prompted the need for this meeting, but nothing came to mind. As the minutes ticked by, I felt a growing impatience, I wanted to say,