by A B Turner
“You’ve got nothing to be unhappy about,” I muttered to myself., at that moment, a woman passed me and gave me a decidedly dubious look, clearly having the view I was a crazy person who talked to their imaginary friend. I found myself smile, Skylar could be considered exactly that to some people.
“But what do they know?” I said, again obviously a little too loudly, as even though I didn’t turn round, I could feel the woman glancing back at me before striding away, her clunky heels crunching through the gravel path. When I reached home, I had all but decided, to just enjoy whatever this was, with Skylar. There was something both gloriously sexy and addictive about speaking to him, sharing myself with him and better yet, just being free to be myself.
It was only when I returned home, I realized I had been so lost in thought, I hadn’t even noticed the several messages left on my phone. As always, there were a few from various companies that either wanted to insure me in case of accident or wanting to help me as they’d apparently heard I had already one and should claim compensation. But the one which caught my eye, was one from Tom, asking if it would be alright if he collected me from home tomorrow to go to the winery, as it would mean involving city traffic and, the added bonus being, he could have an extra hour in bed. I quickly replied, it would be fine and I would see him in the morning, then I settled down on the sofa, as for some reason, I suddenly felt almost weary. As my eyes closed, my mind drifted back to being with Tom, being wrapped in his arms amongst the tangled sheets, the heady combination of strength and gentleness. As I felt myself starting to get lost in the memory, inexplicably I suddenly sat bolt upright, what was I doing? There was nothing and could never be anything between Tom and me, aside from anything else, any relationship between us could spell the end of our jobs. But more importantly, there was Skylar now, of course it was different, and new, but there was no denying, his arrival in my life, made things both more complicated, since that first time with Tom. Whatever else, I knew, in my heart, if anything were to happen with him now, I would regret it – yes, he was thousands of miles away and, yes, he would never know, but the simple fact was, I would and I wouldn’t – no couldn’t do it to him. As I had seemingly said to myself a hundred times, I didn’t know what this was with him, but I knew I wasn’t going to do something so fundamentally stupid, I would ruin it before things became clearer. Having had this debate within myself, I rested back on the sofa, I couldn’t help but smile to myself,
“You’re a fool, Carrie Sullivan, and a vain one, do you really think you’re that gorgeous, it’s all up to you whether someone finds you irresistible !?”
I shook my head, sighed heavily and reached for the TV remote,
“Time for some trashy entertainment, before getting to bed.”
As I flicked idly through the channels, I noticed my phone light up, it was a notification from Facebook, Skylar had mentioned me in a status. I tossed the remote down and quickly looked, there was a picture of a couple, wrapped in each other. There was clearly something sexual in the image, but there was tenderness too, an intimacy..as if the photographer had somehow been unseen by them and so he’d been able to capture this private moment. Obviously I knew, on a logical level, this was stage managed and posed, but it was beautiful. Above the picture, Skylar had just written my name and nothing more, I wasn’t sure how to respond, especially publicly, so I quickly typed ‘beautiful’ and added a heart. I flipped on to Messenger, I knew, owing to the time difference he wouldn’t be there, but a message was,
‘Hey gorgeous, I hope it was okay to post the pic, maybe us one day, what do you think ?’
I didn’t hesitate in replying,
‘Hey sweetheart, the picture was beautiful, like you, and I hope so xxxx’
Before I logged out, I looked again at the picture, suddenly its beauty brought a tinge of sadness,how would it ever be us? We lived on opposite sides of the world, the chances us of bumping into each other on the street, were somewhere between never and no hope! I switched off the phone, not wanting to confront what felt like a harsh reality and looked back up at the television. A movie had just started and as the cast names appeared on the screen, one leapt out at me, ‘Vanessa Bonart’. It seemed like a sign, after all, what had been the chances of her and I ever meeting? Yet we had and the effects had been life-changing for us both. It seemed almost as if this was some kind of sign, not to decide anything was impossible, this thought instantly overcame the temporary gloom. As the title of the movie appeared, my mood was lifted still further, as I remembered Vanessa telling me it was the ‘biggest turkey outside of Thanksgiving.’ For the briefest of moments, I thought about watching it, watching her, but, even after only a few moments, I realized what a bad idea that could be, why open a wound that was seemingly so close to, if not being totally healed, not quite as painful any more. So with a deep sigh, I turned it off and decided, perhaps falsely, it made more sense to have an early night.. As I lay under the cool sheets, I allowed my mind to drift back to the picture Skylar had sent, maybe one day, it would be us, I would know what being with him would be like…it was with this final thought, I fell asleep.
I awoke early the next morning, which allowed me plenty of time to not only get ready but to read the file about the winery, which had remained untouched on my coffee table, since Jacquie had given it to me. So, by the time Tom arrived, I did feel slightly more informed,
“So are you ready for this, Carrie?” he asked cheerfully, “A nice trip to the country.”
“I think so, it looks quite a place, I’ve been reading the file,” I replied. He laughed,
“Well, no question who is aiming to be top of the class then!”
He opened the car door and I gasped in mock surprise at just how tidy it was, after all the first time we had shared a journey, his car had felt like a moving trash can.
“Ah I see you’ve noticed,” he smiled.”
“Very impressive,” I replied.”
“Just for you, Carrie,” he answered and then, as if he realized how his comment might be interpreted, he quickly added a remark about wanting to appear professional. Suddenly there was a distinct feeling of awkwardness between us, which I certainly hadn’t wanted, so as soon as he started the car, I turned to him,
“This doesn’t have to be weird today, let’s just have a good day..aside from anything that happened in the past, we are friends, aren’t we ?”
Tom’s relief was unmistakable,
“Yes we are, and thank you for saying something, after all, as I have no idea where we are going, this is not a good day to be weird.”
I smiled,
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Oh if only, Carrie,” he answered solemnly, he glanced over at me and roared with laughter at my worried expression, I playfully punched him lightly on the arm,
“You’re hilarious.”
“I do try, Carrie, it’s just a part of my charm,” he winked at me and I couldn’t help but return his smile. The atmosphere instantly lifted between us and I felt good about the day to come. As we sped through the verdant, green countryside, the sun burst through the few clouds and seemed to bring the whole scene to life. Tom had turned on some music and it just perfectly matched the ever-changing landscape, there were thankfully few cars on the winding roads, so we made good progress to the winery. As he focused on the road ahead, I took the opportunity to glance over at him, there was no question, he was a very attractive man. The more I looked, I found myself dwelling on his fingers resting lightly on the steering wheel. I thought back to how good it had felt when those slender hands had gently caressed my body, I felt myself blush and looked quickly away again, hoping he hadn’t noticed. I didn’t understand why that thought had surfaced quite so easily, but there was no time to dwell on it, as I felt the car slow down,
“I think that’s the place,” said Tom, pointing to a roadside sign, on the corner of an even narrower, hedge-lined road. I quickly flipped open the file,
“Yes that’s i
t, you found it even without using my legendary map-reading skills,” I joked.
When Tom didn’t reply, I looked over at him, his brow was furrowed and he looked really quite intense,
“You okay?” I asked, my question seemed to snap him out of his concentration,
“I’m fine, just have to focus and hope nothing comes the other way, this road is ridiculous.”
I felt the car slow, as he negotiated his way around the twisting bends, with the hedges being so high on either side, it was impossible to have any sense of where we actually were, in some ways, it was reminiscent of a maze I had once visited with Lainie. Finally, when it was starting to feel almost claustrophobic, the road widened and the view opened up before us – the impact was breathtaking. As far as I could see, lines of vines stretched across the gently-rolling hills and set in the middle, was a large, white-stone house, gleaming in the now-strong sunlight. Tom pulled over and we both just took in the scene before us,
“Wow, what a place!” he gasped admiringly, I nodded in agreement, as adding any further comment would have been nothing more than stating the obvious. After a few more silent moments, he started the car again and we headed towards the house, as we got closer, I saw the large front door open and two golden Labradors ran out, followed by a tall, silver-haired man, casually-dressed, with his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his jacket.
“Come here, you two,”he called to the dogs, who obediently ran back to his side and sat down. As we pulled up, he smiled warmly, his bright blue eyes sparkling against the deep tone of his skin, perhaps achieved through years of working outside,
“Welcome to our valley.”
I stepped out of the car, he shook my hand firmly,
“Hello, and again, welcome to our home, I am Andrew Mayson.”
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mr Mayson, I am Carrie Sullivan and this is my colleague, Tom Garrison.”
“Good to meet you both, I hope it will be alright, but can you call me Andrew, I’m not a fan of formality.”
“Me neither,” answered Tom firmly, “Especially when we are going to be opening a bottle or two.”
Andrew roared with laughter, slapped Tom on the back,
“Good man! Come on, let’s start the tour.”
We dutifully followed him into the house, everything that first glimpse had promised on our way up the drive, was more than delivered by the stunning interior. As Andrew talked about the history of the building, I found myself more focused on no trying to show just how amazed and awestruck I was by every room we entered. From the sweeping marble staircase, lined with vast portraits, most of whom seemed to be distant relatives of the Mayson family, to the luxurious yet comfortable sitting room where the tour ended.
“You have a beautiful home,” I said, well aware of just what an understatement that was, Andrew smiled,
“Thank you, yes, we like it, but after all that walking, perhaps time to show you where the real business is done.”
Tom smiled,
“I hope you mean the winery,” he said hopefully, Andrew grinned,
“Absolutely, although as I noticed you were driving, it seems Carrie will be doing most of the tasting.”
I laughed at Tom’s mock scowl,
“It’s a tough job, but I will take one for the team,” I teased.
“Don’t worry, Tom, I will make sure you have at least a case to take home for yourself,” Andrew said, patting Tom’s arm.
“That’s very kind,” he answered. As Andrew led the way, Tom paused only to stick his tongue out at me,
I mouthed back the words,
‘Very professional.’
It turned out the winery building was some distance from the main house, but as the sun was now high in the sky, walking along a tree-lined avenue was nothing less than blissful. I was more than happy, just for now, to let Tom ask all the relevant questions, as it allowed me to just breathe in the atmosphere, feel the warmth on my face and feel truly at peace. We arrived at a pair of hug oak doors,
“And this is where the magic happens,” Andrew said, with more than a hint of reverence in his voice. As I followed him in, I was almost instantly intoxicated by the rich aromas of wine and the old wood of the vast barrels that lined the walls. After the sun’s brightness, it seemed dark and cold in the room, my shoes echoed as I walked across the flag-stoned floor and I felt a slight shiver down my spine. He led us to a long wooden table where an array of bottles and glasses were lined along one side, he gestured for us both to sit down and then opened the first one. He poured little more than a spoonful in one glass and then half-filled two more,
“This one for you, Tom, as you’re driving and here’s yours, Carrie.”
We raised our glasses,
“Good health,” we cheered and I examined the wine, even though I had little idea what I was doing, but I didn’t want to appear foolish and ignorant. The wine was deep red, almost the colour of autumn blackberries I looked over at Tom, as he swirled his glass, I did the same, silently thankful, he appeared to be more knowledgeable than me. After a few moments, he raised the glass to his nose and took a deep breath in, again, I followed his lead. The heady mix of smells which all but assaulted my senses was overwhelming, there seemed to be so many hints of half-recognizable scents. I had always scoffed at TV wine presenters when they had gushed about picking up the smells of a rainy day in California or the high meadows of the Alps, but now I was here, it suddenly made perfect sense. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by Andrew’s slightly impatient question,
“Well, Carrie, are you ever going to taste it?”
I smiled and raised the glass to my lips, my eyes met Tom’s, I hadn’t realized he had been watching me, without looking away, I sipped the wine, As the warm liquid slid down my throat, I felt it gently coat every part of my mouth, for a moment, there was no sound, it was as if time itself had frozen and all there was, was the deep glowing feeling within me, and Tom’s intense gaze.
Again, Andrew broke the mood,
“So what do you think?” he asked urgently, I looked over at him, his bright blue eyes seeming to sparkle even more in the half-light of the room. I sighed,
“It’s perfect,” I replied quietly, Andrew beamed,
“I’m so glad you like it, but this next one..this is going to be even better.”
Somewhat reluctantly, I pushed my glass back to the centre of the table, silently wishing I could finish the rest of my drink. Despite having only had so little, I could feel any remaining tension or nerves dissolve and I relaxed back into my chair. After the third bottle had been opened, the fact I had not eaten at all that day, made itself glaringly apparent.
“Perhaps that’s enough tasting for now, Andrew,” I said gently but firmly, “Anymore and I can’t promise I will be able to walk out of here.”
Andrew roared with laughter and the quickly became very apologetic,
“I am a terrible host, I have offered you nothing to eat since you arrived, let’s go back up to the house and we can rustle up some lunch.”
Tom stood up,
“That’s very kind, but we do need to be getting back, perhaps another time?”
Andrew did little to mask his initial disappointment, but when Tom reassured him we would certainly love to return, he agreed perhaps, owing to potential traffic issues, it might be best to avoid the rush hour.
“Are you okay to walk back to the house?” he asked, “I just want to grab that case I promised you.”
Before we had a chance to answer, he had disappeared between two seemingly-endless rows of barrels.
“Are you okay?” Tom asked, once he was sure we were alone again, I nodded,
“I think we should have eaten,” I replied, his concerned expression instantly changed to a broad grin, he offered me his hand,
“Come on, Carrie, perhaps some fresh air will clear your head.”
As we stepped out of the gloom, it was clearly now late afternoon, the once bright sun had shifted and was no
w bathing the whole countryside with a rich, golden light. As we walked along the avenue back to the house, the path was dappled with speckled lights and this coupled with the gentle sounds of the evening birds calling to each other, made the walk feel like a scene from a movie.