King throws me a look that I cannot interpret before dashing outside to talk to the armed policeman. I follow, feeling giddy on my feet as I step out of the van. My legs are like jelly and the world feels as if it is spinning.
‘I want you all in position. Try and get a clear view of the suspect. The negotiator is on his way: we just need to wait a few minutes.’
‘Yes sir.’ The officer turns and walks away, talking into a radio that is strapped to his navy bulletproof vest.
King ignores me and sets off to talk to a group of senior-looking officers who are gathered a few yards away.
Standing alone in the freezing cold I look around desperately trying to see Simon and Paul. In the distance I see a haze of cigarette smoke floating up into the black night and know that Simon is responsible for it. Hurrying along the dried mud track, trying not to fall over in my heeled boots, I make my way towards him.
I cannot get the image of that large metal gun out of my mind.
‘Simon, Paul, something’s happened!’
‘What?’ Paul barks.
‘I’m not sure.’ I’m breathless due to the cold. ‘There was screaming coming from the building. Did you know that there are armed police here?’
‘I saw them earlier.’ Simon drops his roll-up and stubs it out with his shoe.
‘King told me they have a negotiator coming here but he told the armed officers to surround the building and look for a clear view of Danny!’
Simon and Paul look at each other for what feels like a long time.
I break the silence. ‘What are we going to do?’
‘They won’t shoot him.’ Paul is trying to sound confident but failing miserably. ‘It might not have been Amit screaming.’ All three of us know that is highly unlikely. ‘They are bound to wait for this negotiator to show up before doing anything drastic.’
‘I’m so cold,’ rubbing my hands together I realise my teeth are chattering again.
‘I can’t stand this,’ says Simon closing his eyes and putting his hands over his face. ‘This is a waste of time. One of us should go in there and talk to him.’
‘I agree.’ Paul nods.
‘But they won’t let any of us in,’ I remind the men.
‘Maybe if we get close enough we can shout out and warn Dan.’ Simon is thinking on his feet.
‘But he might panic and do something rash.’ This situation is spiralling out of control with each passing minute.
‘We can’t just do nothing.’ Simon begins to roll himself another cigarette.
‘Give me one.’ I put my trembling hand out having a sudden need to smoke again.
‘Go on then,’ Paul chips in causing me to raise an eyebrow. ‘Stopped twenty years ago.’
I can’t believe I never knew that about him. It seems that he’s the second man in my life who is full of surprises today. Silently I hope there won’t be any more.
Danny
‘I will sit here and watch you choke on your own blood if you don’t give me an answer right now.’
Crouching down on my heels, still cradling my broken hand, I cock my head to one side so that I can get a closer look at Amit. His eyes are large and bulging. It strikes me suddenly that he looks like a mad bull. The whites of his eyes have almost disappeared and his pupils look like deep black wells.
Amit continues to spit and splutter as I get back up and move towards the oil drum, hoping the warmth from the fire might sooth the cutting pain in my swollen hand.
From the corner of my eye I see a flash of light pass outside through the window and immediately duck down. There is someone out there walking around with a torch.
As panic wraps its arms around my chest I look back over at Amit and realise I cannot let him die. If someone is going to find me here I cannot be sitting with a dead body.
Scrabbling across the floor on my knees I lift Amit so that he is back in an upright position. Being so close to him I can hear the wheezing in his chest. I think I must have broken one of his ribs when I kicked him. Things have gotten out of control and now someone is creeping about outside. For a second I wonder if Simon has come back – but he’d come straight up to the door and announce his arrival, not creep around with a torch.
I am thankful that Amit did not notice the torchlight; otherwise he might try to call out.
Thinking on my feet I reach for the roll of tape and tear a strip off, slapping it onto his mouth so that he cannot speak. He flinches as the sticky plastic makes contact with his wounds.
‘Don’t fucking move or make a sound.’
Amit gives an exaggerated nod that opens the cut across the back of his neck, which starts seeping blood again.
My eyes are fixed on the small window where I saw the torchlight. The night has returned to inky black again and I can see nothing else. But I know what I saw. Someone is out there.
Then the entire cottage floods with light. All around the outside of the building there are bright lights shining on us. I freeze with fear.
‘Daniel Bird,’ a booming voice calls out through a megaphone. ‘My name is Dave Hardy. I am a negotiator working with the police. I’m here to talk to you and to try and find a peaceful way out of this situation.’
There is a pause and I realise my heart is beating at a thousand miles an hour.
‘I need you to confirm that you are there, Dan. Is it all right if I call you “Dan”?’
I freeze, not knowing how to respond. They know I’m here. Shit.
‘Dan, can you hear me?’ the man’s voice is rough around the edges but his tone is calm and collected.
‘Yes.’ I call out in response, my voice cracking.
‘OK. Good. Dan, is it OK if I call you “Dan”?’
‘Fine.’ As if it makes any difference what he calls me.
‘Can you please tell me if Amit Chadrad is with you?’
Then I realise I am surrounded. Everyone out there knows Amit is here but I am not ready to admit the severity of the situation to myself yet.
‘Is Amit there, Dan?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good. OK. Is he hurt, Dan?’
I wish the fucking man would stop using my name. I know what he’s doing. I’m not stupid but I don’t know how to answer the question.
‘Dan, is Amit hurt?’ The voice booms again.
‘He’s fine,’ I lie.
‘OK. That’s good.’
None of this is good, I think.
‘I need to know if you are armed, Dan. You need to be honest with me if we are going to get through this.’
Armed? I’m not some nutter with a gun. ‘No. I don’t have a gun,’ I call out realising how dangerous they think I must be.
‘Do you have any weapons?’ Dave calls back. Again, I’m not sure how to answer the question.
‘No.’ It’s half the truth.
‘OK, Dan. I am going to treat you with the dignity you deserve. You can trust me. But you need to move away from Amit. Can you do that?’
‘No. I won’t.’ They are not getting me to back down that easily after everything I’ve done. ‘He confessed! I got him to admit he took Hope.’ I wrap my good arm around his throat and hold him in a headlock so that they can all see I mean business.
There is silence for a while as they plan their next move.
‘OK, Dan. We are going to work together to make sure everyone gets out of this safely. No one needs to get hurt.’ Hope has been hurt, I think, tightening my grip on Amit who squirms and bucks on the chair.
‘I’m sorry, but I am not letting him go until he gives me all the information I’m after.’
‘It would be much better if you left it to us.’
‘It’s been months and the police have done nothing! This paedophile has been walking about free. You had your chance. Now we do this my way.’
‘This is the first time I have met you. You seem like a reasonable man. I understand you are desperate but this is not the answer. This is not your fault but I can’t help you unless y
ou cooperate with me. Can you do that, Dan?’
‘Not until he tells me where she is.’
‘You are an intelligent man. You are not an idiot. You understand that you need to let Amit go. You have a wife and a daughter who need you.’
‘I’m doing it for them.’
‘Libby doesn’t want you to hurt Amit, Dan. She wants you to let him go and come out unharmed. That’s what we all want.’
‘Is Lib with you?’ I feel my resolve beginning to wane.
‘Yes, Dan. She’s worried about you. She loves you.’
Those three words pull my heart stings but don’t stop me feeling like an animal backed into a corner with nowhere to go.
‘And I love her.’ I yell. ‘This is why I’m doing this. We deserve to know what happened to our little girl.’
‘This is not the way.’
‘If you don’t all leave me alone I am going to fucking kill him!’ Amit begins wriggling again. ‘I’m serious! Back off.’
‘We can’t do that, Dan.’ Dave remains calm. ‘We will not let you hurt him.’
‘You can’t stop me.’ I sink my teeth into the top of Amit’s sweaty skull and bite down hard. Through the gaffer tape he whines like a stuck pig.
‘Dan, you need to understand that we have the building surrounded and there are armed police on the scene. No one wants this to end badly.’
Armed police? Oh fuck.
I realise with the amount of artificial light being flooded into the room through the window I am exposed. Dragging Amit on his chair across the room, the wooden legs scrapping on the stone floor, I try to reposition myself so that those police officers with their guns cannot see me.
‘All I want is to be able to talk to Amit. Then I’ll let him go. But you have to give me five minutes to get the answers I want; otherwise this is going to get ugly really quickly.’ I hear myself say the words but don’t recognise the person speaking. This is not me.
‘Why don’t you let me come in, Dan? We’ll have a chat, face to face.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I am here to help you. Let me help you, Dan.’
‘How can you possibly help me?’
‘Let me see that Amit is OK, then, together you and I can talk to him.’
‘No.’
I don’t want that man in the room. I don’t think I could look him in the eye.
Libby
‘Let me try. Please let me talk to him. I think it might help.’ I cling onto Dave’s coat pulling at the sleeve like a child but he keeps his steely eyes fixed on the building waiting for Danny to speak again. When he doesn’t Dave turns to me, flicking off the megaphone so our conversation won’t be heard by anyone else.
‘OK. It is important that you remain calm. Talk to him about your life together and your daughter. Don’t engage with him in any discussion about Mr Chadrad. He thinks he is doing this for you and he could twist anything you say to fit his plans. Tell him you want him to come home and that you don’t want this.’
I nod, accepting the megaphone he holds out.
‘If the conversation starts to aggravate him, I will put an end to it. We all want this to end well.’
As I turn the megaphone back on with my shaking hands, Dave takes a step backwards. The stage is mine now and I have to get this right.
‘Danny?’ my voice sounds strange and distorted. ‘It’s me. It’s Lib.’ There is silence and I am terrified that he won’t talk to me. I have to get through to him. ‘Danny, please talk to me.’ I wait again for a response.
‘Lib,’ his voice sounds distant and weak.
‘Come home. I miss you. You don’t have to do this. Come home and let’s put this behind us.’
‘He’s admitted it Lib! He confessed. We are so close to getting the answers. Just let me have five more minutes then I promise this will all be over.’
‘No Danny, it has to stop now. You got the confession and that’s great but let the police take it from here. You’ve done enough. Now it’s time to walk away.’
The silent response that greets me makes me want to cry. Standing in the cold, surrounded by the elements, I have never felt so alone.
‘Hope wouldn’t want this,’ I cry out. I’m grabbing at straws.
Still he doesn’t speak.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Dave standing there.
‘You did your best.’ He takes the megaphone out of my hands and returns to the spot he had been standing in to talk to King about their next move.
‘He must be so scared.’ I wipe my snotty nose on my coat sleeve as Simon comes and puts his arms around me. The smell of tobacco on his coat reminds me of my grandfather.
‘He’ll see the light, Lib. I’m sure it will be fine.’
‘If he wants to talk to Amit, why doesn’t he? Just ask the monster the questions then walk out of there. I don’t understand.’
‘He feels trapped and he’s panicking.’
‘I know. That’s how I feel too.’ I look over at Dave and King who are in intense discussion. ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this.’
Danny
‘Right, you piece of shit, everyone knows you’re here. You’ve got a large audience now, buddy. It’s time to sing like a canary. I’m going to remove the gaffer tape and you are going to tell me exactly what you did to my daughter. If you don’t, then we are in for the long haul. It’s up to you now. Talk and you walk out of here alive. Don’t and, well, it won’t be pleasant.’
Amit slowly nods his head.
Before removing the tape I take a long look into his terrified face. I want him to know I am serious.
His tired eyes are red and puffy and tears gather in the corners. He is no longer recognisable as the man I brought into the building twenty-four hours ago.
Tearing the tape off with no attempt at being gentle I watch as he gulps in large breaths of air. The rattling noise coming from his chest grows louder with each breath he takes. I start to wonder if I’ve killed him already.
‘Talk.’ I say as Amit looks around the room hoping he might find help from somewhere.
‘I… I…’ his voice is hoarse and the words come out raspy as he stutters.
‘Speak up man!’ Spittle flies out of my mouth as I speak.
‘Well, she had hurt her head.’ He keeps trying to turn to face the window but the restraints hold him firmly to the chair.
‘Then?’
‘Then I say I take her upstairs to put ice on her head. She comes with me. I don’t hurt her, I promise.’ Amit’s eyes dart around the floodlit room searching for a possible exit. I can read his thoughts.
‘This doesn’t make sense. How does Hope go from banging her head in your shop to disappearing? Explain that to me.’ My patience is growing thin.
‘Well, I… she… I mean when we go up to the flat she has the ice on her head for a while. Then she just fall asleep at the table. I try to wake her up, I really try, but she does not move.’
He is telling me she died and that it was an accident. I sink to the floor and cradle my head in my hands before letting out a long scream.
Libby
‘What the fuck was that?’ I look up at Simon whose expression mirrors my own. Sheer panic envelops his face.
‘I don’t know.’ He looks over to King and Dave who have both turned their attention back to the building.
Dave steps forward and brings the megaphone up to his mouth.
‘Dan, is everything all right in there?’ We all wait with bated breath for a response that does not come.
‘Dan, you need to talk to me. I need to know you and Amit are all right.’ King shakes his head and walks away from Dave, talking into his police radio.
I watch as armed police move in closer to the cottage, their guns held up. It all seems to happen in slow motion.
‘Dan, you need to talk to me.’ Dave’s voice has lost its control and his desperation echoes over the dark hills. ‘Dan?’
‘He said it was an accident!’
Danny wails, his words cutting through the still cold air. ‘He says she’s dead. My baby. She’s dead!’
Danny
‘Where is she?’ I get up off the ground. My legs feel like jelly as I approach the man who is responsible for my daughter’s death. I have been waiting for months to find out what happened to her. Now that I know, I almost wish I didn’t. In a matter of seconds everything has changed. Until then, part of me continued to believe she was alive and that I would see her again.
‘What did you do with her? Where is her body?’ I can hardly bring myself to believe that there is a body. The tears fall freely and, strangely, I’ve forgotten about the pain in my hand. Some things hurt more.
‘If you let me go, I tell you.’ Amit will not look at me. His head is hung low.
‘No. You will tell me now.’
Before I’ve had a chance to think I react and wrap my hands around his throat. His neck is fat and soft and I squeeze as hard as I can. His eyes bulge and his mouth falls opening trying desperately to let some air in. I continue to tighten my grip, not feeling any pain in my broken hand, not hearing the calls from the police outside as his face starts to turn puce. I can feel the blood in the veins in his neck trying to pump its way up to his head. His pulse ticks against my palms.
Then I notice the blood vessels in his eyes getting redder and his tongue makes its way out of his mouth, flailing around like a living piece of steak. His breath smells like blood and his body twitches violently trying to escape. I hear a faint popping from somewhere inside his throat. Then the familiar scent of shit hits me and I realise he has defecated again. Still I grip harder until his body starts to go limp and the light in his open eyes begins to fade. A trickle of blood runs out of the corner of his mouth and down his chin but I cannot let go. I will not let go. Not even when the police burst into the room and point their guns at me. Not even when I hear them load their weapons. Not even when the first shot is fired.
Libby
Everyone else seems to rush towards the cottage. Figures pass in a flurry, making their way towards the drama. But I can’t move. I stand perfectly still, not hearing the shouts from various directions. I see people’s mouths moving but don’t hear what they are saying.
Frailty: a haunting psychological page-turner Page 18