Easier Said Than Done

by Nikki Woods

  “Just hear me out. We’ll keep the Chicago office and I’ll set up another one in Jamaica. With technology, it’ll be as if I’m right here. Traveling won’t be a problem, so I can be in Chicago or New York as often as necessary. Of course, I’ll need some extra help. I haven’t mentioned anything to Jonetta yet, but I think a pay raise would convince her to take on added responsibilities.”

  Mr. Mansini’s voice turned cold. “There isn’t room in the budget to give Jonetta any more money. Scooby has potential, but he hasn’t earned this company a dime yet. I took a big chance on this venture and on you and now it looks as if I’ve made a bad decision.”

  “No disrespect, Mr. Mansini, but there is more than enough money in the budget to give Jonetta a raise. I know; I’m the one who put it together. But if you need to, you can offset the extra money with a portion of my salary.” I thought was a fair offer, but I still sensed hesitation on Mr. Mansini’s part. “You’ve trusted me this far, Mr. Mansini, and I’ve delivered on everything I’ve promised, haven’t I? Can’t you trust me for a little bit longer?”

  The air was heavy with Mr. Mansini’s discontent, but I smiled. I could feel him wavering in his silence.

  “I’m sticking my neck out for you, Kingston, I hope you can appreciate that. We’ll do a six-month trial basis. That should give you time to complete Scooby’s project and get it in the stores. When we see what the first two weeks of sales look like, we’ll re-evaluate. Don’t make me look bad in front of the Board of Directors, Kingston. More than anything else in the world, I hate to look bad.”

  * * *

  Drowning in a sea of multi-colored packing boxes was a cruel way to die; almost as cruel as hacking myself to death. In the space of three hours, two of my fingers had almost been lost in a packing tape incident. Still sucking on one, the other covered in a Band-Aid, I answered my cell phone when I felt it vibrate against my bare leg.

  “Merry Christmas, sweetie.” Keela’s voice was filled with jingle bells and mistletoe.

  “Merry Christmas to you, too. Having fun at your grandma’s house?”

  “Uncle Noonie got drunk again and Daddy had to throw him out. He called Aunt Yvonne a ho, but she drove him home anyway and Grandmama got mad at her for being a wide open idiot—her words, not mine—and told her not to come back.”

  “She’s a nasty cuss! Umph, umph, umph!” It was Keela’s grandmother. Her voice so loud, I thought her mouth was pressed to another phone.

  “What’s a cuss, Grandma?” Keela asked, laughing.

  “Don’t be a smart mouth, girlie.” Her grandmother harrumphed again. “Yvonne’s a cuss and she can stay her behind at her house with that crazy man of hers. How he gonna bring his narrow behind up in my house and show out like that?”

  Keela said to me, “She acts like Noonie ain’t never got drunk before and acted a fool. He did the same thing at Thanksgiving. She gets all upset, but it’s funny as hell to everyone else.”

  “Sure hate I missed that.” I sealed another box and moved it to the side.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you are. What’re you up to?”

  “Packing. I leave on Saturday.”

  She paused before saying, “Wow! That soon? You’re not playing, huh?”

  “Once I make up my mind, I go ahead and do it before I start getting second thoughts.”

  “When I grow up, I want to be just like you. These past few months, I’ve had trouble picking out what I want to wear in the morning.” She laughed.

  “Listen, if you‘re not going to Jamaica with me, Keela, just say so. I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”

  Another pause. “It’s not that I don’t want to go. I don’t see how I can. You know my mom would be heartbroken if she missed the birth of her first grand baby. I couldn’t do that to her.”

  “Keela, you don’t owe me any explanations.” I tried to stop the flow of attitude, but couldn’t. It flooded right through the phone.

  “See, I knew you’d be mad.”

  I tossed a few paperback books in a box filled with bath towels. I wasn’t in the mood to figure it out. “I’m not mad.”

  “You sound mad.”

  “I said I wasn’t mad, Keela.” Once again the words had come out too sharply. “I’m sorry. Guess I’m not much in the holiday spirit; but really, I’m not upset that you’re not going. I’m disappointed and scared and nervous, but not upset. It would have been nice to have my best friend along for the ride.”

  “Oh, that’s great, Kingston, make me feel even worse by piling on the guilt.”

  “Oh, stop it! I’m not trying to make you feel bad and you shouldn’t; there’s no need to. If my mother was still alive and I was about to have a baby, I’d want to be close to her, too. Women need their mothers at a time like this.”

  “Every day I have a question about something.” Keela waited until her grandmother finished a sentence full of cuss words I’d never heard before. “Maybe Sharneesha will still go. Have you heard from her?”

  “No, but I suspect she’s gonna say the same thing as you.”

  “You’ll be okay. Besides,” she said, and I could see the smile spreading over her full lips. “You have Damon. Don’t think I wasn’t going to bring that up. Is he still tucked away in your bed? All naked and delicious?”

  “Don’t make me hang up on you, Keela,” I warned; but the threat held no weight, and she knew it ‘cause she pressed on.

  “Well, is he?”

  “He was only here for a minute. He left to visit some friends in Atlanta.” The undisclosed information on our lovemaking session swung like a pendulum between us. But I wasn’t saying a word.

  “I bet he was happy to hear about you coming to Jamaica.”

  “I didn’t tell him.”

  “He didn’t ask?”

  “I lied.” I exhaled. “He asked me and I said I didn’t know.”

  “But Kingston, he’s gonna find out. You’ll be living right down the street from the man!”

  “Don’t you think I know that? I just didn’t want to deal with it right now.”

  “That’s because you knew how happy he would be and the assumptions he would make.”

  “And I was right, seeing how he just showed his ass up on my doorstep.”

  “He loves you.” Keela —always the hopeless romantic.

  “Yeah, well, that’s not my problem. So since you’re not coming with me do you think you can handle some things for me here?”

  “Like?”

  “I’ll call the movers and the real estate agent tomorrow and get everything set to sell the townhouse, and put my stuff in storage. I just need you to make sure everyone does what they’re supposed to do.”

  “I can handle that. Mom’s calling me. I bet she’s gonna try to get me to make the spaghetti even though she knows I hate doing it.”

  “Stop grumbling and go make the damn spaghetti. I’ll call you later.” I clicked off the phone—still laughing.

  And I thought my family was crazy.

  Chapter 29

  I was two hours behind on my packing schedule. Dismantling the desktop computer and printer and packing it in a box with all the hardware had taken longer than expected. It was due to be shipped tomorrow, so it would arrive in Jamaica shortly after I did. The doorbell rang and after glancing at the clock, I wondered, who could be ringing my bell at this time of night? It was only eight, but still. A surge of adrenaline shot through my body and my breath caught in anticipation. What if it was Damon again?

  Cocoa trotted down the stairs ahead of me, anxious for an opportunity to escape the friendly confines of home. I peeked out the window and my heart sank. It wasn’t him.

  I pulled the door open anyway. “Hi, Sharneesha. Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas. I brought you a plate from my mom’s house. Wasn’t sure if you were going to cook or go somewhere for dinner.”

  “That was sweet.” I accepted the plate. “I am a little hungry. Wanna come in?”

  “J
ust for a sec.”

  “Where’s Teeka?” I asked as Sharneesha stepped into the foyer.

  “At her grandmother’s house—her dad’s mom. She’s gonna spend the night there.”

  “I have something for her and I forgot to give it to her last night.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I know, but that’s why they call it a gift, ‘cause you don’t have to do it.”

  “Teeka’s going to be so excited.” Sharneesha shifted from one foot to the other and looked down at the floor. “Listen, I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I’d like to go to Jamaica with you. You’re right, there’s nothing to keep me here. A judge took pity on me and I got an extension on the eviction, but only until after the New Year. My mother even said she’d put the airline ticket on her credit card, but I have to sign an I.O.U.”

  I clapped my hands with glee. “See, things are starting to work out and it’s only going to get better. I am so happy. Keela wants to stay and have the baby here, so I’m really going to need your help.”

  “I’m excited. It'll be a new beginning for us. I’m not used to accepting help from other people.” She gave a short laugh. “I didn’t know it would be this hard.”

  “You’re going to be helping me as much as I’m helping you. Besides, it’s going to be fun and a wonderful opportunity for you and Teeka. Let me go write down my airline information so you can book on the same flight.” I ran upstairs, put the plate in the refrigerator and grabbed Teeka’s present before copying my travel details. Cocoa had returned from outside and was wagging her tail furiously as Sharneesha patted her behind the ears.

  “Here you go. Let me know if you have any questions or if you need help with the ticket. It might be expensive since it’s last minute. I think Teeka should be able to fly free, though.”

  “I think I’ll be straight on the money, but I’ll let you know. Seems like I have to keep saying thank you.”

  “Don’t think of this as charity, Sharneesha because I’m definitely going to be working you.”

  “I’ll let you know what happens with the flight,” she said with a tiny smile.

  “Keep thinking positive thoughts, Sharneesha and give Teeka a kiss for me.” Sharneesha waved as she disappeared into her house.

  “Come on, girl,” I said to Cocoa. “Let’s go eat.” The news that Sharneesha and Teeka were going to Jamaica had lifted my spirits. Any concerns about her extracurricular activities had been pushed to the back of my mind; probably somebody with nothing better to do than stir up trouble, started the rumor.

  I was headed to the kitchen when Damon’s note and gift caught my eye again. I don’t know why I was so scared to open it.

  After picking up the note and holding it for a few minutes, I flipped it open. Damon’s familiar scrawl jumped off the paper.

  Christmas 2013

  My dearest Kingston, I can’t say much more than what I’ve already said. Looking at you while you were sleeping, beautiful and innocent, just re-confirmed what I already knew, that I’m hopelessly and utterly in love with you. And I know that you love me as well. I understand that you have doubts because of what happened before, so I’m leaving the next step up to you. I don’t want you to feel as if I’m pressuring you. Have a happy New Year. I hope that it brings you everything your heart desires and more. I already know what I want. I’ve enclosed my heart for you to keep. It will always belong to you. Call me if you need anything.

  Love, Damon

  I laid the note in my lap and tore the wrapping paper from the box, pulling off the tiny top. Nestled in dark blue velvet was a thin silver necklace, on it a delicate, floating heart rimmed in diamonds. Running a finger along the outside of the heart, a tear rolled down my cheek. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I’d lost so many things in my life: my parents, my grandmother, Damon and Essence. Maybe life was offering me a second chance. Fate was dangling the brass ring within my reach, but I couldn’t make myself grab it. Sighing, I went upstairs—my appetite gone. I clasped the chain around my neck and flopped down on the bed in the same spot where Damon and I had made love just hours earlier.

  “Mama, tell me what to do,” I whispered into the darkness. With the covers pulled up under my chin, I cried, soon falling into a troubled sleep.

  Chapter 30

  “Look, someone’s at my door so I gotta go, but it’s imperative that you have the house packed up by the first of the year. The real estate agent’s putting the house on the market January 3rd so don’t mess me up on this one, Leroy. Keela has your number, so she’ll be the one to contact should you have any questions or problems.” I hung up the phone, suddenly uncomfortable about my decision to go with a smaller, black owned mover versus a major moving company. The company, appropriately named “Leroy and Four Dudes,” was already having issues, and I wouldn’t be here to put out any fires.

  Calm down, I told myself, things were going to be fine. Besides in less than eight hours, I’d be on a plane to Jamaica, sipping Rum Punch, and it would be out of my hands.

  I stepped around an overstuffed garbage bag, two huge suitcases, and Cocoa’s airline carrier to open the door.

  When the outside light flipped on, it pushed back the darkness revealing a small figure huddled inside a coat that was too big. Teeka stared up at me with wide eyes, holding her purple Barbie doll backpack with shaking hands.

  “Hi, Teeka.” I leaned out the door and looked around. There was no sign of Sharneesha. Kneeling down in front of the little girl, I asked, “Where’s your mother?”

  Teeka shrugged and whimpered. The frigid wind blew her small braids against her cheeks; her nose was starting to run. “Come on, sweetie.” Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I drew her inside and sat her down on the bottom step. Cocoa stood guard as I shrugged on my coat and slipped into a pair of fur-lined boots. “Wait here,” I instructed before walking outside. I made a quick trek around the courtyard with the wind pushing at me from every direction. I balled my hands up and stuffed them in my pockets. There was still no sign of Sharneesha or her beat-up Toyota Corolla. I circled back and stopped at her front door. An eviction notice was tacked to it. I tried the knob. Locked. Pressing my nose to the window, there were no signs of life inside. And no furniture. My head spun with confusion and the ball of anxiety snowballed inside as I trudged home.

  “‘Ingston, where’d mommy go?” Teeka asked as soon as I walked in, her voice breaking with tears. I rubbed my hands together, blowing hot air onto them before pulling off Teeka’s mittens and warming her hands in mine. “I think maybe she had to run an errand or something, but we’ll call her and find out when she’s coming back, all right?”

  Teeka laughed as Cocoa licked her on her cheek; tears magically drying up.

  “No kissing, Cocoa, remember?” I shooed both of them up the steps.

  “Are we going on a trip? Mommy said you were taking me on a trip.”

  “Yes, sweetie, we’re all going on a trip,” adding, “your mommy’s going, too,” even though my intuition was whispering that something was very wrong.

  “Can I watch cartoons?”

  “Of course you can. We’ll watch them together.”

  “Is Cocoa gonna watch cartoons, too?” Teeka sat on the couch and Cocoa settled on the floor at her feet.

  “She sure is. Watching cartoons is one of her favorite things.” I clicked the television set and flipped through the channels. An old re-run of Disney’s The Proud Family was on and Teeka perked up. I left her clapping at the characters’ antics while I paced in the kitchen.

  Sharneesha’s home phone had been cut off and her cell phone was going straight to voice mail. I didn’t bother to leave a message. I tried to quell the hysteria swelling inside like a tidal wave, and I dialed both of her numbers again—still nothing.

  “Teeka, your mom didn’t tell you where she was going?” I sat next to her on the couch.

  She shook her head, gaze glued to the TV and her finger stuck in her mouth. When I realiz
ed she wasn’t going to be any help, I went back downstairs. My nose was open like an investigative reporter. My plan: search the Barbie suitcase.

  The contents of the suitcase were typical for a four-year-old girl—all pink and frilly. I picked through the t-shirts and denim shorts and found nothing. But buried beneath Teeka's nightgown was an envelope.

  I slit it open and my stomach dropped to my feet. The items contained within: a birth certificate and passport, an electronic plane ticket and a letter giving Teeka permission to travel with me were self-explanatory. Also enclosed was a short note written on a sticky note:

  “Kingston, please take Teeka with you. I can no longer take care of her. She’s better off with you. I think you’ve figured out why. I will contact you when I know that you’ve arrived safely in Jamaica. Please tell Teeka I’m sorry. Sharneesha. ”

  Fury surged through me. I started to dial Sharneesha’s number again—just in case I had misdialed the other times. But what would I say? Where the hell do you get off abandoning your daughter on my doorstop? I dropped the phone back in its cradle. I had a bigger problem right now. How in God’s name was I supposed to break the news to Teeka? That the one person who was supposed to love her more than anyone else in the world had kicked her to the curb? The abandoned little girl inside of me ached for Teeka, knowing how it felt to be alone in the world. At least my mother hadn’t left me by choice.

  My fists clenched as initial shock began to give way to anger and resentment. And who said I wanted to take on the full responsibility of someone else’s child? Sure, I wanted to be a mother someday. But someday wasn’t today and it certainly wasn’t the day before I stepped off the edge of my world into the unknown.

  The wheels started turning. Maybe there was somewhere to safely drop Teeka off, let somebody else deal with the situation, but that idea was dismissed as quickly as it had come. The chances were too great that Teeka would end up another victim of the child welfare system.

  I walked back upstairs, when something else occurred to me. If Sharneesha really didn’t think she could be a good mother, then maybe she was right. Things could turn out much worse if I did track down Sharneesha and force her to take back her own damn kid. The Chicago Tribune had run a story a few months back about a mother who jumped into Lake Michigan, taking her two young children with her. All three of them drowned. I didn’t want a tragedy like that weighing on my conscience.