Once An Alien

by Robin Martin

  Didn’t quite know what to say to that one either.

  Pandora’s look, I thought, was kind. ‘We’re both really into science, and Kerri’s one of the smartest humans I’ve met.’

  I noticed the use of her word ‘human,’ but it seemed I was the only one.

  Finally, Lou found her voice. ‘Yeah, she is. They’re awesome tattoos, girls.’

  Pandora shook her hair over her shoulder. ‘You should get one too. It’s great fun and très cool.’

  ‘My mum would kill me,’ Lou said.

  ‘Then, get one somewhere she won’t see. After all, you only live once, Lou,’ Pandora said.

  ‘Yes,’ Kerri added, ‘and it only hurts a little.’

  I couldn’t imagine what Kerri’s mum would say. She was even stricter than Lou’s. But I decided not to comment. I was seeing a side of Kerri I never imagined, and maybe that was a good thing, though I was a tad worried Pandora had so much influence over her. I never entirely trusted her. Even less so now.

  ‘We’d better get going,’ Lou said. ‘I’ve got to be home soon ’cause we’ve got company tonight and I’ve got to clean my room.’

  Pandora lifted her eyes. ‘Why? Are they going to have dinner in your room?’

  Lou gave a little laugh. ‘No, but you know what mothers are like.’

  ‘I don’t, thank goodness. Well, cool seeing you, girls. Chad’s invited a few of us over to his place tonight.’

  I couldn’t imagine Jas allowing Chad to invite Pandora anywhere, let alone to his place, even if other people were going to be there. Just showed how powerful Pandora was. I wondered if Rion was going with her. I asked, even though I knew I shouldn’t have, ‘So, are you and Rion going together?’

  Pandora gave me a smile. ‘He might turn up.’

  I felt my insides turn over. My hands clenched, but I said nothing.

  Kerri looked downcast. ‘Mum said I wasn’t allowed to go out at night for a while, not after last time.’

  That didn’t surprise me in the least.

  We said goodbye and headed off to the bus stop. As soon as we were out of earshot, Lou said, ‘Can you believe it, Zoe? Kerri got a tattoo!’

  ‘Never would have thought it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.’

  ‘I know, right? Pandora really has a lot of influence over her.’

  ‘Yeah.’ I started to worry again. My first impression of her had been right. Pandora was trouble. And now she was with Rion. I felt a huge lump in my throat thinking about it. But we weren’t together any more. It was time I accepted that. Unconsciously my hand went to my neck, but it was bare. Blinking back the tears, I followed Lou out of the shopping centre.

  When I got home, Mum and Dad were in the kitchen. Dad was making the usual mess, but this time with lasagne, and Mum was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of wine, which was unusual as she hadn’t been drinking lately, because she was worried about her health. I was taking this as another good sign.

  ‘Hi, darling,’ Mum said, ‘did you have a fun time with Lou?’

  ‘Yeah, awesome. What do you think?’ I spread out my hand to show her my indigo nails.

  ‘Unusual, but interesting,’ Mum said.

  ‘Could be worse. At least they’re not black,’ Dad said, lifting a spoon from the sauce and spilling a drop on the floor.

  I rolled my eyes at the expected response. Dad and cool—two words that never occupied the same sentence unless it included the word not.

  I sat down next to Mum. ‘I’ll soon be seventeen. Perhaps I should join you in a glass of wine.’

  ‘Sure,’ Mum said, ‘in sixteen months’ time when you’re legal.’

  It was somewhat comforting to know that some things hadn’t changed. My parents were as square as ever.

  ‘So, what’s up? I thought it was your turn to cook tonight, Mum.’

  Mum and Dad shared a look. Something was up. My stomach immediately tensed.

  ‘Zoe, I got a call from my doctor today. I have my results back.’

  Great, that must be why Mum had a glass of wine. She was celebrating.

  ‘The test was positive.’

  Positive? That was good, wasn’t it? Positive always meant something better then negative. But the next sentence proved the opposite.

  ‘I have breast cancer.’

  My chest tightened and felt like a steel band had suddenly been wrapped around it. Mum had breast cancer. Even knowing it had been a possibility, I never considered it could be a reality. Cancer was something that happened to other people, not to my still young mother.

  Her hand found mine and covered it. ‘It’s okay, Zoe. I’m going to fight it. It’ll be all right. I’m going to get better, I promise you.’

  Dad put the spoon down and came over, putting his hand on Mum’s shoulder. He spoke in a hearty voice that I knew was fake. ‘Mum is strong, and if anyone can beat this, she can. And we’re going to help her, right, Zoe?’

  I nodded, finding it hard to speak.

  ‘Don’t cry, darling. It’ll be all right.’

  I didn’t even know that I was, but now I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. I got up and put my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

  ‘Oh, Mum.’

  I had to call Rion. After all, he loved Mum too. Suddenly it didn’t matter what had happened between us, or that we had broken up. I needed to hear his voice and to feel the connection between us. I pressed the screen and his number rang.

  He picked up on the first ring. ‘Zoe?’ he said, as if he couldn’t quite believe it was me.

  ‘Rion…’

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s Mum. She’s got cancer.’ My voice broke.

  ‘I’ll be right over.’

  ‘Wait. Don’t come to the house, not yet anyway. It’s just not the right time. Dad is acting like everything is going to be okay, and Mum’s watching me like a hawk because she’s worried I’m going to break down or something. I’ll meet you in the boat shed.’

  ‘I’m leaving now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

  I closed my eyes and put the phone to my chest when he hung up. Rion was coming. He was smart, he was an alien, he would have an answer. At the very least, he would make me feel better.

  I slipped out of the house and ran across the cool grass to the shed where our old boat was kept. Reaching up on the ledge above the door, my shaking fingers found the key that opened the shed door. Why we even bothered to lock it, I didn’t know. There wasn’t anything in there worth stealing. The door creaked open, and my hand reached up to turn on the light, revealing our small cabin cruiser. It had been a meeting place for Rion and me several times. And all of those times seemed to be milestone moments, both good and not so good. Climbing up onto our boat, I went down the two shallow steps that led to the musty cabin. We hadn’t used the boat in five months since the Christmas holidays. I sat on the cold vinyl seats of the cabin and waited, putting my arms around myself. I didn’t have long to wait. I heard the creak of the shed door and footsteps heading towards the boat.

  ‘Zoe?’

  ‘I’m here, in the boat.’

  The steps quickened, and the boat moved as he climbed aboard. Two steps down and he was there, his arms around me. I felt his familiar heartbeat and the warmth of his body, and it felt like coming home.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I’m so glad you’re here.’

  His arms tightened around me.

  ‘I’ve missed you so much.’ I knew it sounded pathetic since we hadn’t been apart for long, but it had seemed an eternity to me.

  ‘I lied.’ His eyes misted as he spoke. ‘I was never with Pandora.’

  I looked at him in confusion. ‘But… why?’

  ‘To make it easier for you to walk away. Pandora made me realise I’d always be an alien, and I was worried what that might mean for the future. Maybe I wouldn’t live a normal lifespan. Maybe we wouldn’t even be able to have a family. I know we’ve been through this before, but I thou
ght I’d become human and we’d be okay. When I realised there was still a big part of me that would always be an alien, I owed it to you to set you free. I was being selfish to you and even to my own people. I turned my back on them. I was selected for the space program, and then I gave up my mission.’

  ‘That’s stupid, Rion. Nobody, human or alien, knows what the future will bring. You’ve got to take some things on faith and trust they’ll work out. Besides, you being an alien is not a bad thing. It might help you, or us, in ways you don’t know. As for letting your people down, your supervisor gave you a choice. He wouldn’t have done that if he felt it was the wrong thing to do. That’s like a gift. And rejecting it is pretty ungrateful. Also, I’m sure he knows a lot more than Pandora, whatever she said.’

  Understanding crept into his eyes. ‘You’re right, Zoe. I never thought of it that way before. He did let me choose, and he never judged me for it. A gift? Yes, and it would be wrong to throw it back in his face.’ He hugged me again. ‘How come you’ve lived such a short time and yet you’re so smart?’

  ‘I’ll remind you of that in the future, you know.’

  He leaned forward and kissed me again. For a moment, I forgot about everything, even my worries about Mum. Then Rion lifted his head and said, ‘I’m so sorry, Zoe. Once again, I’ve hurt you. I really thought I was doing the right thing. I never wanted to be apart from you. And, if it gives you any comfort, my heart was breaking too.’

  ‘When I found out about Mum, you were the first person I wanted to talk to. And when you said you’d come over straightaway, I knew all that other stuff that went down between us didn’t matter anymore.’

  He stroked my cheek with his finger. ‘Tell me about your mother.’

  The words tumbled out. When I finished, he said, ‘She’ll be okay.’ His voice was comforting and confident. I believed him, especially hearing him say it out loud. He would know what to do, how to fix things.

  ‘I know. You’ll help her, won’t you?’ I looked at him.

  ‘I’ll help in any way I can, of course,’ he said, but he looked puzzled, as if he didn’t quite understand my question. ‘I’ll always be there to support you and your family.’

  It wasn’t quite the response I’d expected, so I added, ‘Yes, but I don’t just mean support, like sympathy or cooking a meal or something. I mean cure her, help her get better. Use your super alien powers, like Pandora always seems to do. I told you, being an alien is not a bad thing. You can do stuff that ordinary humans can’t.’

  This time he didn’t just look puzzled, he looked surprised. ‘Zoe, you know I would do anything I could to help your mum. She’s been like a mother to me too. But I don’t have the power to cure her. I’m sorry, that’s beyond me.’ He took my hands and squeezed them, his dark brown eyes full of sympathy.

  ‘But Pandora said you have all these powers and that because you’ve chosen to be a human, you repress them.’

  ‘She highly exaggerates what she thinks are our powers. We might be smart, and sure, sometimes we might be able to influence people to see things we want them to see by altering some of their perceptions, but we can’t cure diseases.’

  I wasn’t convinced. ‘Maybe you can, if you try. Look, just think. You were able to create this body out of nothing when you were just a bubble of consciousness. So was Archimedes, so was Pandora. Archimedes altered my memories so that I didn’t know you were an alien. You guys can do stuff that ordinary humans can’t. Also, you’ve been around over 4000 years, so you must have learnt something about medicine in all that time. You have more power than you realise, Rion. You just have to work out how to use it.’ I pulled my hands away and put my arms around his neck, looking at him straight in the eyes. ‘If ever there was a reason to try, it’s this. You have to try to help Mum. We can’t…’ I felt a lump in my throat. ‘We can’t lose her.’

  Rion’s chest exploded with a deep sigh, and I saw the tears form in his eyes. ‘You don’t understand. Even if I did have those powers, which I don’t, I wouldn’t be allowed to use them. One of the highest oaths we make when entering the space mission is not to interfere in human affairs. Pandora is wrong in trying to influence that woman she is staying with. She breaks all the rules, and eventually, she will be disciplined for it by our people.’

  I dropped my arms from around him and slid away. ‘This isn’t Star Trek, Rion, and I don’t care about your damned prime directive. Are you telling me you’re not going to help Mum because you’re afraid your people will get mad at you?’

  He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. Then he opened them again and said, ‘I did that all wrong. I’m sorry. Let me try again. Because the people on my space mission have existed as conscious entities rather than organics, we haven’t been very concerned about what happens to the physical body. We haven’t had to. We were able to manifest as physical beings because we carried the imprint of our former organic bodies that we used to have on our planet, and even that has been attempted by very few of us. Now that I’m an organic, if I get sick, I can’t heal myself, and I can’t heal others. It doesn’t work that way. If I could help your mother, I would, and no rules would stop me. You have to believe that. But I can’t.’

  My heart sank. I realised I’d been secretly hoping that Rion could do something to help Mum. Pandora seemed to be able to do so much with her alien abilities, and she was much younger and therefore less powerful than Rion. ‘Surely there is something you can do.’ My voice sounded shaky and pleading. ‘You could at least try,’

  ‘Zoe, believe me, I would do anything I could, but—’

  ‘You can’t. I get it.’ I moved a step back from him.

  ‘You know I care about you and your mum.’

  I knew he did, yet I couldn’t help feeling a crushing disappointment. Maybe it was unfair of me, but all I could think of was that he wouldn’t even try. ‘I’d better go back to the house. It’s getting late.’

  He reached out to me, laying his hand on my arm. ‘Zoe, we’re still good, aren’t we?’

  I hesitated. I loved Rion and always would, but here was yet another hurdle we had to get over. ‘I know you mean well, Rion. I thought you could help, but I guess I was wrong. I’m dealing with a lot of stuff at the moment, and maybe I’m not in the best head space. Maybe we should take a break, just for now.’

  ‘I don’t want to take a break. I want to be with you, Zoe. I know I’ve messed up big and this is one more thing that’s upsetting you. I’ll make it up to you in any way I can. But, please, let’s face all this together.’

  I almost relented because I wanted to be with him, but, and it was a big but, I realised everything in my world had shifted. I had lost two things, my belief that nothing could happen to my mother and my belief in Rion.

  ‘You should go, Rion. It’s late, and we’ve both got school in the morning.’

  ‘I’ll go, but if you need me, I’ll still be there for you, whether we’re together or not.’

  He left, and I sat in the boat for a moment or two, blinking the tears away. I didn’t want to go back in the house and let Mum see me upset. Right now, she was my first priority.

  I don’t know why I ever thought I was intelligent. When it came to dealing with humans, especially Zoe, I seemed to make one mistake after another. What I told her was the truth. I couldn’t help cure her mother of cancer, but I should have said I would try, at least. After all, I had just given her my speech on how I was still an alien. No wonder she thought I had special powers. But I knew I’d only be offering her false hope. Mrs Brennan’s best chance was with doctors and the treatments they would offer. All I could offer was sympathy, love, and physical acts like helping with chores or being with them when times were tough. Would it be enough? And even if it was, would Zoe ever come back to me?

  I was in no mood to see Pandora that night when she turned up at my place. She didn’t even wait to be invited in but barged into the house as soon as I opened the door. I wondered if I had ever been as ru
de or self-entitled as she was. I didn’t think so, but after my performance this afternoon with Zoe, I couldn’t be sure.

  Closing the door, I followed her into the lounge room where she had already occupied three quarters of the sofa, her feet, in her trademark boots, stretched out on the clean, white cushions. I didn’t sit down.

  ‘What do you want, Pandora?’

  ‘My, my, aren’t you all sunshine and rainbows. What’s up? Did your little human look at you the wrong way?’

  That was just too close to the truth. ‘She isn’t my anything, thanks to you.’

  ‘I just pointed out the truth to you. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. More than four times older than me and several thousand times older than Zoe, I might remind you, just in case your maths has slipped as well.’

  I clenched my jaw to stop myself from giving a totally inappropriate answer. I waited for her to get to the real point of her visit. One thing about Pandora, she always had an agenda.

  ‘Anyway, I won’t stay long. I’m headed over to Chad’s. I need a favour. I want you to take Kerri to the high school formal in July.’

  She couldn’t have said anything that would have astonished me more.

  ‘I thought you told Zoe we were together, not that that was ever going to happen. But Kerri? Why?’

  Pandora shrugged. ‘Zoe never believed that, especially since you’ve stayed away from me all week like I’ve got the plague. But Kerri needs a date, and I don’t think anyone else is going to ask her. I know she wants to go.’

  ‘Look, I don’t know much about these things, but I do know that it isn’t always necessary to have a date. She could go with some of the other girls. She could go with you.’

  Pandora nodded. ‘I know, and I’d considered it, but Chad Everett has asked me to go with him, and I think I’m going to say yes, if only to annoy Jas. For sure Lou will go with Mike. As for Zoe, well, who knows? Maybe she’ll go with Harry. I’m sure he’s dying to ask her, and now that you’re out of the picture, maybe he will. Kerri doesn’t know anyone else, and she won’t go on her own. She’s too shy.’