Standing Stones

by Beth Camp

  “I know.” Moira remembered the bodies she had found. Hard times for all, she thought.

  “There’s not enough food,” said Granny. “You see how it is up here. People can’t be living like this. And the guards coming around.”

  “They didn’t come after you,” said Agnes. “They came after my Maggie.”

  Moira leaned over to Catriona. “What are they talking about?”

  “I’ll tell you later,” Catriona whispered back.

  “So, how many are going to emigrate, do you think?” Moira asked again.

  The two women ignored her.

  “You didn’t have to take her in, all bloody and muddied up. You didn’t have to wash your daughter’s tears from her face.” Agnes used the large wooden spoon to push Granny away from the fire. “And you didn’t have to bury your own daughter who was too young to be a woman. Aye, we’re leaving.” She spat. “We’re leaving this bloody island. And we’ll not be grateful for onions.” She dropped her spoon into the soup and left the women standing by the fire.

  Granny Lyle wiped a tear away as she retrieved the spoon. “You girls are too young to know what mothers suffer.”

  “I heard the guards found her alone and just took her there and left her for dead, covered over with a coat,” said Catriona.

  “Who? Maggie?” asked Moira. But Maggie was a pretty child, twelve or so, always good with the younger ones.

  “Aye, Maggie,” said Granny Lyle. “No need to say more.”

  Catriona pulled Moira away from the fire. “Everyone's upset. Some of the women have gone with the guards to get food, you know. Enough of them so the guards come up here all the time now, sniffing around. Maggie was found last week.”

  “Should Dougal talk with them?”

  “It’s too late. Nobody can do anything. It was the last push. Most of them have signed up to emigrate," said Catriona. "I’ll tell Dougal how it is.”

  The two girls hugged.

  “Be careful going down the path,” said Catriona. “I’ll meet you later by the standing stones. Just after night fall.”

  Moira walked slowly up the path to the standing stones, the smell of sweet sea pinks and flowering heather around her. Birds cried out in the early night as they settled on their nests along the cliffs near the sea. She leaned against her favorite stone as Venus rose in the west, low on the horizon, just above the clouds.

  Moira watched a young boy make his way up the hill, scampering over rocks in the fading light. She smiled to herself to think of Catriona’s plan to dress as a boy. She wondered if life were any easier as a man. Certainly not for any of the McDonnells.

  The grubby boy came closer. With a shock, Moira recognized Catriona. “My God, you do look like a boy. How did you do this?”

  Catriona smiled and circled in front of Moira, showing off her pantaloons. “Do you think Dougal will know me?”

  “Well,” said Moira. “I didn’t know you, at first.” She stared at Catriona in the fading light. “Let’s see how you walk.”

  The two started down the hill. Moira laughed and poked Catriona’s arm. “How can you wear those pantaloons? Don’t they feel funny? Did your mother and father see you? What did they say? Oh, wait until Dougal sees you.”

  “No more questions. I can’t answer you so fast,” said Catriona. “When we get to Sean and Lenore’s, you go ahead, and I’ll follow. Tell him I couldn’t make it tonight. Then I’ll knock at the door.” Catriona’s face shone pale in the twilight.

  “OK,” said Moira. “Maybe put a little dirt on your face and hands.”

  They stopped by the path, and Catriona rubbed dirt onto her cheeks. “Better?”

  Moira hugged Catriona. “I can't wait to see his face.”

  Catriona hesitated on the doorstep. It was fully dark now. She heard two guards coming down the street behind her. She knocked at the wooden door as she felt a rising frisson in her chest.

  “Who’s there,” called Sean.

  “Robbie.” She said the first name that popped into her head.

  Sean opened the door a crack. “What do you want this time of night?”

  “They told me I should come down here from Quernshead. That you might have a place for me to stay,” said Catriona. “My family’s worried the guards will take me.”

  “Come on in, then,” said Sean. He grimaced as he glanced up the dark, cobbled street. “We’ll make room for one more. And why would they be after you?”

  Catriona followed Sean in. She spoke to his back as he walked down the hall. “I dinna know. Maybe because we were evicted.”

  “You can sleep in the kitchen. We have some people who’ll be leaving in a few days, but 'twill be crowded for now. You don’t have anything with you? No blanket or food?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Well, we’ll manage. Here we are,” said Sean.

  The kitchen was full; everyone sat as near the fire as they could. Dougal was next to Moira, and Lenore held her sleeping baby. Dougal looked up quickly as they entered, then down in disappointment.

  “Who’s this,” asked Moira.

  “Robbie, from Quernshead. Another person who needs a place to stay, and a young one at that,” said Sean. “Here, sit.” He pointed to a chair next to Dougal.

  Dougal stirred restively. “Didn’t she tell you she was coming?” he asked Moira.

  Moira nodded. “She said if she could get away, she would.”

  “Please, sir,” said Catriona. “I heard you was going to Hudson's Bay.”

  “Aye. I’m going with me brother, Colin. He’s about your age.” Dougal’s knee moved restively. “Do you know him?”

  Catriona shook her head.

  “We leave the end of the week.” He looked around the room again. “Moira, did she say anything else?”

  “I hear it’s a hard life,” Catriona kept her voice low. “Would they take someone as young as me, do you think?”

  Dougal’s eyes narrowed. “They might. They’re recruiting pretty heavily.” He stood up suddenly. “Cat, is that you? What have you done?”

  “Ha! I did fool you. Dougal, I want to come with you.”

  “Don’t be silly. 'Tis no place for a woman.”

  Catriona stood as tall as she could. “Dinna be so fast to say no. Can I not work as hard as any man?”

  “Aye, but there’s only men around. That’s the problem.”

  Sean and Lenore stared at Catriona, but Moira was laughing, her hands cupped over her mouth. “You knew about this,” said Dougal, pointing at his sister.

  “I think Catriona’s done it,” said Sean. “You said they were taking boys near as young as Jamie. That's one way to solve the problem.”

  “Ah, come outside then, Cat. We need to talk,” said Dougal.

  As soon as they were outside, Dougal drew Catriona around the side of the house. “I was going crazy waiting for you.” He pulled her into his arms. “I see you know already. They said no wives are allowed. Dear heart, I can’t take you with me.”

  “Dougal, did you know me when I came in?”

  “No, but . . .”

  “Think on it. This way we can be together. No one need know other than our families. You can be my older brother.”

  “You’ll never pass. You’re too short. You’re too pretty, and I’m not your brother.”

  “But we would be together. When our service is up, we can find our own place. We could maybe have some of that wilderness for ourselves.”

  “Don’t be daydreaming. It won’t work. You’d be surrounded by men all the time, people we don’t know. People who don’t know you. It’s a rough life and dangerous, more dangerous than I’ve said. I wouldn’t be able to protect you.” Dougal tucked Catriona close in his arms. “Cat, I’ll send for you as soon as I can.”

  Catriona pulled away. “That could take years and years, and it’s not exactly safe here or there. You heard about Maggie?”

  Dougal sighed. “Moira told me.”

  “It’s not going to get better. Wh
at else can I do? Emigrate with my parents to Virginia? How would you find me then? Don’t you want me to come with you?”

  Dougal pulled her cap off and Catriona’s hair fell down around her shoulders. He sniffed her hair and thought of how long it would be before he would see her again. “We’ll never be able to pull it off.”

  “Take me over to Stromness. I’ll go the whole way dressed like this. If no one discovers it's me, let me sign up. Give it a chance, Dougal. Can we try?”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  Catriona looked at Dougal. “I’m sure.”

  He lifted a lock of her hair. “Then, come with me tomorrow. God help me, I’m a crazy man to even think of it.”

  Catriona stood still, the enormity of what she'd decided just hitting her. “I need to tell my mother and father. They know nothing of this. I’ll need to say goodbye.”

  “Tell them we’ll be married first. That’s the only way I’ll go ahead with this.”

  “Are you asking me to marry you?”

  “Yes, I am. Are you saying yes?”

  “Ah, Dougal, I’m saying yes. My parents know you are an honorable man.”

  “Aye, an honorable man, one who entices you to the wilds of Canada. How honorable is that?”

  “They’re leaving as well.”

  “Your mother is strong enough for the trip?”

  “She says she is. They want me to go with them, but . . .” Catriona paused to stare at Dougal. “I would rather be with you.”

  “Let’s see if you still say that when we’re slogging along the great Columbia River, fighting off Indians and mosquitoes bigger than your head. They said we’re to go to Fort Vancouver, far on the west coast, maybe near to China for all I know.”

  “But I’ll be with you.”

  “Aye, you’ll be with me.” Dougal tugged at Catriona’s hair one last time. “You’ll cut this tonight?”

  “Aye.”

  CHAPTER 44: DEIDRE

  “Good of you to come home last night,” said Anne, pushing her needle through the thick wool of a new skirt. “’Twas very late for a decent person to be about.”

  “Mother, I’m so tired,” Deidre leaned on the kitchen table. It was early morning, and she hadn’t been able to sleep. “They wouldn’t let me see Mac. Only Dougal could get in.”

  “And what were you thinking to go over to the Kirkwall gaol? You should leave well enough alone,” said her mother. “Only bad comes from that direction, as you already know. I’m sure I don’t know what your father will say.”

  “Mac’s being transported to Van Diemen’s Land, Mother. It was the only chance I could see him for years, maybe forever. I just wanted to see him.” Deidre closed her eyes. She felt as if her bones would sink into the chair. She looked around the kitchen and laughed a little to herself. “We have enough to eat. We don’t have to worry about the future. But, Mac and his family, they’re torn apart. Everything's gone.”

  “Enough of this foolishness,” replied Anne. “Put thoughts of that man behind you. You have a job and your family to concern yourself with, and the merits of that man are well known. Even Lord Gordon only has so much patience . . .”

  “Don’t say that name, mother,” said Deidre. “He’s ruined my life.”

  “What are you talking about, Deidre? Were you planning to marry that fisherman?” Anne’s nostrils flared. “And live in a crofter’s cottage to clean fish the rest of your life? When are you coming to your senses? How do you think your father got you the job at the Grammar School? Through Lord Gordon. You were able to come home for the first time in many years, though I wonder why. Why do you have to associate yourself with that riff raff?" Anne pushed the needle faster through the thick wool.

  “Mother, you haven’t given him a chance. Everyone looks up to Mac. He is the kindest, most gentle man. Yes, he’s a fisherman, but the people went to him when they were evicted from their homes. These are the people he’s known always. How could he not speak on their behalf?”

  Anne jabbed her needle into the wool. “You threaten everything for us because of your association with that man.”

  “Mother, I would marry him if I could.”

  “Bosh. That man is in jail and good riddance. Why can’t you marry someone of our own kind? A nice merchantman like that Mr. Stanley. Why a fisherman?”

  “There’s no talking to you. You just don’t understand.”

  “You’re right. I don’t understand. With your father and two other daughters to worry about, I don’t understand. I have to worry about you as well, and you're old enough to know better.”

  Deidre wondered if her mother would ever forgive her, but it really didn’t matter anymore. A cabbage soup simmered on the stove as her mother hemmed the woolen skirt. Things would never change here.

  “It’s a miracle we aren’t all in jail ourselves," said Anne. "Go help your father downstairs before the girls are up with questions you can’t answer.”

  “Mother, I want to go to Van Diemen’s Land.”

  “What? Ouch.” Anne pricked her finger with her needle. “What did you say? And how will you get there? You might as well wish for the moon in your pocket.”

  “I would take passage on a ship, Mother. It’s not unheard of.” Deidre could see herself leaning on the bulwarks of an ocean-going vessel, flags flying, the sun sparkling on the ocean, and Mac beside her. “Mac and I could be married. We could make a new life for ourselves.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I want to go.”

  “I don’t understand you. I never will. Go to your father. Maybe he can talk you out of this craziness. I certainly can make no sense of this.” Anne put her sewing away and stirred the soup on the stove. “Go, go to your father.”

  Deidre went down the stairs to the store, feeling lightheaded, as if she were on the brink of something entirely new. “Father,” she called. “Where are you?”

  “Here in the storeroom,” called William. “Deidre?”

  “Aye, father.”

  “You were late last night,” he said. “We stayed up, Mother and me, hoping to see you home safe. Where were you?”

  “I should have told you. I went over to Kirkwall with Dougal. We took some things for Mac, but I wasn’t able to see him, Father. Only Dougal could get in. I left him a letter, that’s all.”

  “I dinna like you going to the Kirkwall gaol. ‘Tis good you’re home.”

  “You know Mac’s being transported.”

  “So I heard.”

  “He’ll be sent south to London. Dougal said they’ll keep him at a ship on the Thames until a transport ship takes him to Van Diemen’s Land, most likely the end of the summer. Then he’ll truly be gone.”

  “’Tis a hard sentence, daughter, but it could have been worse.”

  Deidre felt as if all she could see was her father’s face, pale in the dim light of the storeroom. “Father, I want to go with him.”

  “You can’t be going on a prison ship,” said William.

  “Maybe, maybe not. They said several ships will sail together, some carrying prisoners, like Mac, and some with emigrants. I could go on an emigrant ship, Father.”

  “Ah, you want to leave home then, for good this time?” William was silent for a moment, his hands atop a knotted rope. He cleared his throat. “You’ve just got home it seems."

  “I tried to talk to Mother. She doesn't understand. She's angry,” said Deidre.

  “Never mind about your mother. So you’ll be leaving whether I say yes or no?”

  Deidre nodded.

  “Well, then, how much is the passage? Did you find out?”

  “Twelve pounds for a cabin and eight for a berth. That’s what they told me in Stromness. I could go on a berth.”

  “That’s steerage. I know something of this. You’ll go in a cabin or not at all.” William calculated quickly. “I have enough to give you sixty pounds. Is this what you truly want?”

  “Yes, more than anything
.” Deidre’s hand went to her chest; her heartbeat thrummed in her ears. “Mac doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t want to even see me, Dad. But I have to go. I have to try.”

  “I only ask one thing. Wait until his sentence is served before you marry.”

  Deidre sat down suddenly as if her legs could no longer hold her up. She was leaving Foulksay Island.

  Her father took her hand. “No more talk now. We’ll work on this together.”

  Dougal and Catriona, her hair shorn, her face smudged with dirt, her jacket and pantaloons those of a young boy, stood together on the new pier, waiting for Sean's boat and the trip over to Kirkwall. From there, a cart would take them, or they'd walk the sixteen miles to Stromness.

  Moira leaned close to hug Dougal and Catriona. She couldn't speak.

  Dougal dipped his head to Deidre. “Thank you for coming to see us off.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed saying goodbye,” said Deidre.

  “What about you, Deidre?” asked Dougal. “Will you stay on with your parents, then, here on Foulksay?”

  “I’m leaving as well, within the month.” Deidre’s face was paler than Moira had ever seen. “I’m going to Van Diemen’s Land with Mac, one way or another. I won’t have him going alone.”

  “What about your mother?” asked Moira.

  “She’ll never accept Mac.” Deidre looked out to the sea, wondering if her mother would ever forgive her and knowing it wouldn’t matter. “She hated him when he was a fisherman, and now she’ll simply hate him.”

  Moira pulled Deidre and Catriona into a hug. "I’ve two sisters now, you and Catriona. Remember that when you're far away.”

  Moira took Catriona’s hands in her own. "It's all going too fast. I can't believe you and Dougal are married. Are your parents all right?"

  "They're hoping to leave when the ship for America arrives. It's been hard on them. They didn't want to come down to the pier to say goodbye, but they know my place is with Dougal." Catriona flushed. "They dinna like me dressing like a boy."

  "I have to believe everything will work out, Cat." Moira turned to Dougal. “You’ll write?”