After Hope Dies

by Lilly Haraden

  Pause. Then, with his freak face closer, ‘You can’t sacrifice the wellbeing of an entire community of people for the sake of one child.’

  Dani closes her eyes, breathes out through her teeth. ‘She’s not working tonight.’

  ‘Very well. Frankie and the others will compensate. I’d considered asking you to pick up Janelle for some extra work. Yes, we’re desperate enough that I can forget all about her possessive monster…’ Bax reaches out into the shadows and a ghost hands him a soda, pre-popped and fizzing like a bottle of champagne. Or like a penis ejaculating profusely onto the floor. Fucking disgusting. Dani sighs so deep and apologises.

  ‘No need, my friend. It’s been a stressful day for all. Settle young Maria in. She’ll be ready to work in a week or two.’

  So that’s the timeline. Waitress to prostitute: a week or two…Dani walks from the office without another word. Finds the private quarters, resets her mood, resets her mood, resets and resets. Outside now. To heaven. Push the service door open. All smiles.

  Maria, full of awe – look at those eyes mooning. She’s over with Madia and some of the other girls. What’s she looking at exactly? Maple: Fifteen and Australian. Canadian, actually. Commonwealth. Somewhere. Look at her stage outfit: she’s a peacock! All bangles and necklaces and feathers on the back and make-up lighting up her face. Lycra tight against her thighs. Look closely – her naked upper body has been painted to resemble a leotard. Her minder’s applying the last stages of pink eyeliner to pretty eyes; a little chorus of young girls circle around the peacock, wishing it were them. Look at those eyes mooning – Maria, full of awe. You’ll be a peacock one day.

  ‘Come on, let’s have a bath.’

  ‘A bath?’ Little girl follows big sister as they make their way away from the stage star. Dani holds the girl’s hand and explains, ‘Everyone showers before and after work.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, it brings out the skin tone and saves the club on rouge. Mainly it’s just a nice bonding thing.’ At the door to the baths Dani teases her charge, ‘Are you afraid to show your body?’

  Maria doesn’t reply; minder presses, ‘Ah, come on, don’t make me take a bath alone, that’s boring.’

  ‘O-Okay.’

  It’s not as scary as you’d think, little girl. Open the door, past the second and you’re in another world. Dani loves the baths. You’d never guess such an expanse of marsh lived here under the club. Fresh lights tuned to the colour of sunshine over open pools rimmed in red. Steam rises and tickles the air with sweet perfume. Huge mirrors line the walls, each in front of a wash station with shampoo and soaps and perfumes and a separate shower head. Each pool is cordoned off with a ceiling-to-floor curtain that can be pulled over for privacy. Maria looks around the big room and Dani sees a little smile touching her face. See? It isn’t all bad.

  They choose a pond by the end where there are no women and girls. Dani sits submerged in the stream of water coming from the tap. Body centre in the bath, head resting on knees with arms around shins. Watching Maria’s silhouette wash behind the curtain of her private shower. Straight up and down run those black lines. It must feel nice to have hot water to wash with. Shit Stacks have thirty second timers for their boilers. Dani closes her eyes and when she opens them again she finds little Maria in a shower cap, peeping around the curtain as if the knowledge of her tiny body would blow to pieces the mind of any unprepared woman.

  ‘Girl, I’ve seen it all before.’

  Girl hops quick into the bath, covering her non-existent breasts with an arm. But the water swallows her whole until she’s chin-deep. Eyes on Dani, eyes on the birds on the bath-curtain. If you listen really closely, you can actually hear music. Woven so softly in the air and a gift for all those work-weary souls. Listen…nnn-ts nnn-ts nnn-ts. It’s actually from the club.

  Dani smiles to the girl and keeps her head rested on her knees. Instructs, ‘Busy night ahead. I’ll start you off with the basics of waitressing. Simple really. Keep an eye out for any man with a finger or bottle up. That means they want something more. We don’t usually ask them first.’

  Maria matches her gaze and asks, ‘Why? Isn’t that what they normally do in restaurants?’

  ‘Yep, right you are. But we’re not a restaurant. We don’t want to pester them. They know what they want. But some might call you over and ask for drinks; I’ll give you little screens with the menus on them so you can input their order. Go to the bar and collect their drink, bring it back. Real simple. Trick is this: remember to smile.’ Dani has to stop herself from saying, “Treat them like your big brother,” and instead continues, ‘Got all that?’

  Maria nods above the waterline.

  ‘Nice. Say, “What can I get you?” or, “What would you like?” Now, just a few rules. Men aren’t allowed to touch you. If one does, don’t freak out – they won’t do anything bad to you, and we’ve got lots of spotters to help.’

  ‘Spotters?’

  Good, she’s paying attention. Dani straightens and leans back against the bath lip; Maria’s eyes go straight to her chest. Dani jokes, ‘Geez, you’re as bad as the men.’

  ‘Oh, sorry.’

  ‘Not a worry. So. Spotters: they’re guards who make sure nobody’s doing anything bad in the club. One will be assigned to us and I’ll introduce you. Look to him if you’re having any trouble. If anyone asks you for something you’re not comfortable with, just refuse with a smile.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Some may ask you to touch them, or if you’re “working”. Just say you’re a waitress and they’ll understand.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Some may want you to sit with them and talk…if so, sit beside them and talk. One of the spotters will double as your waiter and pair of eyes. They also start a timer – customer gets charged later.’

  ‘What do they talk about? I…I don’t think I can talk forever.’

  Dani laughs and thinks with her hands. ‘Oh, all things. They may be curious about you, where you come from, what you like doing, what you want to be…usually the conversation doesn’t turn sexual unless they’re drunk or not drunk enough. They might ask you if you’ve had sex. Say yes.’

  ‘Oh…why?’

  ‘Because your virginity is like a flame for them. If you say you’ve had sex before they’re less likely to be creepy with you. If they say things you don’t understand then just be honest and say you don’t get it. They’ll know if you don’t know. Can’t fake it…have you had any sex ed yet?’

  Maria shakes her head. Dani nods and says, ‘It’s ok. We’ll have a chat about it after work. I don’t think you’ll get any requests tonight, especially if you wear that flannel shirt you brought in. Hm. Actually, we might change those clothes too…’

  Maria blows bubbles in the pool. Eyes low. She murmurs, ‘I just want to be a waitress.’

  Woman’s heart stops. Restarts with a guilty spark; Dani presses, ‘I understand. And hey, you’re on a contract. Don’t worry. I’ll be there with you every step of the way. If a man makes you feel uncomfortable then I’ll let him know. Remember, I’ll be by your side. I’ll try and steer you into some good people I know, ok?’

  ‘Hmmm.’

  ‘Hey,’ Dani moves forward in the spa and takes her sister by the shoulder, finger up under the chin. Says, ‘Once you start, you’ll see what it’s like. Nothing scary. Nothing bad. You’re not a prostitute, remember? You’re just there to serve drinks and talk. Smiles, ok?’

  Smiles.

  Dani’s brought over some clothes the girl might wear; Maria tries them on in front of the shower mirror.

  Too big. Too much space in the bust. Too tight. Too glittery. Too short. Too long. Not eye-catching enough. Maria: in boy shorts and boots, long-sleeve check shirt that cuts down V-like into her chest. Tiny bit of eyeliner and foundation; girl giggles as Dani puts it on. Has she ever worn make-up before? But the hair makes her shine, all pulled in perfect strands that fall crisp over fair shoulders. Gov
ernment food is good for something after all, if not simply to delay puberty’s inexorable onset. Ready, kid.

  Heart in her mouth. Icy anticipation. It wasn’t like this with Janelle. No. Jan was a natural with schmoozing the men – thank that attitude of hers. Maria is no Janelle but that doesn’t mean she won’t be a good worker. Rather, Dani feels much more responsible for the wellbeing of this one.

  Janelle was nearly killed because of Dani, though…

  At the door between baths and reality, Dani lets her hand weigh on the handle. Twelve blue suns glint on her right wrist. Reminder: take care of the ones you love.

  Mezanine hums with activity as the two enter from the back. There are a couple of stages set up but no dancers yet. Lonely lights hold vigil to the spaces where young flesh may soon dance, if the price is right, o’ men of the dark sea. Dancefloor on basement level not too busy yet either.

  ‘Maria, this is Ben. He’ll keep an eye on you. Look to him.’

  ‘Pleasure, miss,’ says the enormous ghost in a suit.

  ‘Pleasure, sir,’ says the waitress.

  And off they go.

  ‘Oh, there’s someone with his finger up!’ and Maria totters over with Dani flowing not too close behind. Woman stands behind the back of the booth, behind the man and watches. Maria reaches in and offers a flash card to the patron; their heads run close together as they discuss drinks and Maria finds the correct panel, catching the little order disc and handing it to the man. Complete. He watches her go. Dani circles back and meets girl at the bar.

  ‘That wasn’t too bad, was it?’

  Maria shouts up to Dani, ‘Do I take the drink to the man?’

  ‘Yes. Let’s wait here ’til Sylvie’s finished making it. The order will have gone through.’

  Back and forth and back and forth. Until the seats fill up, until the time passes and more men arrive. A spotter takes Dani aside and informs her she’s been requested but she whispers back to the ghost that she’s only working the stalls later on. Doesn’t hurt to make them wait. After all, who would want to be in the stalls when there’s a show brewing!

  Janelle would be jealous to see this. Dani caught her once, a week back, peeping at the girls from side-stage while they danced. This was after her dancing embargo from Bax. Oh, what a sight this will be tonight! She collects Maria and they watch from the back of the mezzanine. As the lights go dark and the music starts and all male eyes turn to those patient spotlights. Bax was right – the club is surging tonight. Have the PD even arrived yet? She recognises only a couple of faces, none of them cops. Maria murmurs, ‘No more fingers or bottles.’

  Dani leans down and says, ‘Watch this.’

  Music blares and out come the women. Tigers prowling across the stage as lights cut the atmosphere to confetti. Deep bass at the heart. They watch as the dancers come alive – there’s a trio of women: twenty-five, fifteen, twenty, all slender and tight in those shining burlesque outfits. Stage two: Canadian Maple and another young girl, peacocks to catch the eye. Feathered arms tastefully shielding the nudity of a stark upper half; for the right price they may even take flight (but probably not for the film adaptation. We need the rating to be R-17 or MA15+ to maximise market revenue. Also, definitely make sure to feature Janelle on the promo covers – the target market love the whole POC thing). Maria stands on tip toes with her hands on the backs of the booths, surveying the stage. Dani, though, casts her eyes away from the peacock and other attractions...

  From their very nice vantage point at the back she can see all of the men. And, crucially, catch where their eyes flow. See, most have their focus on the potential of nudity, in the flow and caress of shapely lines up and down the stage. But there are the occasional few that are distracted. There. Over on the right hand side in a booth all by himself, a Chinese man with his face illuminated in the soft white glow of a phone. Quick appraisal: thirties, decent suit, good hair. And, crucially, foreign. He’s the one. That’s him. Dani takes her charge by the hand and points to the man yonder. ‘For tonight, I think we can start you off on someone good.’

  ‘Good? Do you know him?’

  ‘Not yet. Let’s go.’

  Crossing the distance and weighing up the gamble. This entire job is a gamble, really. Stakes and wages and assumptions. Dani would have liked one of her regulars to start off with, but there’s an advantage in getting an unfamiliar face to meet unfamiliar face. Doesn’t sully the water if things get out of hand, you know?

  ‘Mind if we sit with you?’

  The man looks up from his phone, spying the two women, and offers with his free hand that they may. Dani pushes Maria in first and the girl sits gingerly, not exactly beside the customer. Girl meets the man in the eyes, says a little, ‘Hello.’

  Dani follows up, ‘Looks like someone stood you up?’ and only realises afterwards that she’s spoken in Mandarin.

  Man nods and puffs out his eyes, replies in English, ‘I’m beginning to think my colleagues in San Fran are taking the piss.’

  “Taking the Piss”? What’s an Australian doing here? The man notes the confusion in Dani’s eyes and replies, ‘I mean they’re pulling my leg.’ He puts his phone on the table and says to Dani, ‘Never been to a strip club before.’

  Jackpot.

  ‘Let alone one that has girls.’

  Double Jackpot. Dani leans back and replies, ‘Doesn’t bother you, does it?’

  Man shrugs and says, ‘Yes,’ but his eyes linger on the stage for a moment as Maple on the nearby lane spreads her arms and reveals her lithe body and gentle, painted tits to the crowd. Her peacock feathers glow and shimmer like water. Everyone coos!

  ‘This is Cherry, I’m Krystal.’

  ‘I can’t shake your hand, can I.’

  Dani laughs and Maria asks, ‘Why are you in San Fran?’

  ‘Work, unfortunately, but my daughter said I should visit the zoo.’

  ‘Oh, I love the zoo.’ Maria taps her fingers on the table as she works out what to say, then, ‘We used to have a couple of lions that were part of a breeding program but they died. So now we’ve only got the penguins and giraffes on main stage.’

  ‘You like the animals there?’

  Maria nods. ‘I don’t go there too often because the admission is expensive.’

  ‘Is that so?’

  Man thinks for a moment and Dani puts in, ‘Cherry’s first day here at the club.’

  ‘How are you finding it so far?’

  Maria nods and says its good, and for a little touch of the authentic she adds, ‘I’d like to get up on stage one day like that. But I can’t dance.’

  ‘Mind getting me a drink?’

  Maria’s ears perk up and out come the flash cards. Man selects a gin and tonic; Dani instructs her that she doesn’t need to print out a token, but to go with Benjamin the Suit and wait by the bar. Girl skooches over Dani’s legs and walks out with the huge ghost across the back of the tables. Alone now, Man pulls out a cigarette, lights up and asks, ‘Why choose me, of all people who come here?’

  ‘I can pick ’em. Not many people go to a strip club to play Clash of Clans.’

  ‘Final Fantasy, but close. A week ago you had nothing more than a name and passport to judge me by.’

  ‘We overlook your business dealings here, and we train a girl on a harmless, upstanding drug trafficker. Win win.’

  ‘Being honest, I find this arrangement…upsetting. Not to offend.’

  ‘No offence taken.’ And Dani slips their agreed payment across the table, swooped up a moment later by the man.

  Yeah, it wasn’t a gamble. I lied. Everything is rigged. Dani continues, ‘Then again, just think of this as doing good – if it weren’t you, Cherry would have to sit with someone else and serve them.’

  ‘I feel a lot better about it with money in my hand, but being complicit in a prostitute training exercise will weigh on my mind up until the point gin and tonic mix in my mouth. How old is she?’

  ‘Fourteen. Undernourished.�
�

  ‘One on stage there? Peacock with no breasts?’

  ‘Sixteen. Again, bad nutrition.’ Dani leans forward and says, ‘You know, up until a year ago, the legal age of consent in Japan was twelve? Whole clubs exist in that country where you can go and get your ears cleaned and whispered into by children all dressed up like anime characters.’

  ‘And that legitimises child prostitution?’

  ‘Here, it offers an alternative.’

  ‘To what?’

  ‘To them dying. Ah, here she comes.’

  Maria, Mary, full of lies, places the G&T on the table before the man and slides over Dani, says, ‘Bartender says that your drink is on us.’

  Dani smiles to the man, who smiles to the girl. Yes, that first sip goes down nicely, doesn’t it?

  ‘“Cherry”, what do you enjoy doing in your free time?’

  Girl thinks for a moment and shuffles a little in her seat while the dancers onstage shuffle in sync. Dani didn’t fill her mind with a suitable list of girl-hobbies so out comes the truth: ‘I fold paper.’

  Lord of mercy. Dani’s hard pressed to think of hobby that holds quite as little sex appeal as papercraft. But to her surprise the man shakes his head and gives out a convincing, ‘No way…hang on. Check this out.’

  Shandian to hand: zero point eight seconds, and the two slide in together in the phone glow. Dani can hardly believe she’s seeing a man share his collection of papercraft objects with an eleven-year-old waitress in a brothel in a country he’s just arrived in. Maria’s obviously no stranger to the craft for out comes her banged up old phone and they spend the next five minutes comparing animals, ships, kites, shapes, boxes…

  For perhaps the first time in quite a long time, Dani feels alien in this place. Looking up from his phone and seeing Dani’s expression, the man replies, ‘My daughter and I make all kinds of things together.’