Let Me Go

by DC Renee

  She had, however, figured out ways to work faster and cut corners so she could watch television, read, or even listen to music when she could sneak Mason’s iPod away.

  Mason was supposed to be home late today, so Kat grabbed his iPod and blasted the music. She dusted as she pranced around, singing at the top of her lungs. She knew her voice wasn’t fantastic, but it didn’t matter. It’s not like someone would hear her. Well, scratch that, if someone heard her that might be good. They’d think someone was killing a cat and call the cops. Then she would be out of there. Ah, wishful thinking.

  She had been pleasantly surprised with the selection of Mason’s music. It was pretty eclectic, but she knew most of the songs and really enjoyed it. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing that she had something in common with him. It made him more human, more personable, but at the same time it totally sucked that she saw him that way. At least she had some good tunes to listen to.

  She thought about that as she scrolled through the playlist for the next song to belt out. And she thought about the fact that she hadn’t really accepted her situation per say, but she had gotten into a routine that she was actually sort of used to. Damn, how messed up was that? She was used to this kidnapped slave life with Mr. Green Eyes who showed tiny signs of breakthrough that she held onto through the times in which he ignored her. Yep, definitely messed up.

  She shook the thoughts from her mind before settling on the cliché I Will Survive. It was a nice reminder that she wouldn’t give up and she was going to get out of this, one way or another.

  “I used to cry, and now I hold my head up high,” she sang as she danced around, using the duster as a microphone, lost in the music. And then she bumped into something, something that didn’t feel like a piece of furniture. She turned sharply and stared up into Mr. Green Eyes. He was staring at her, some emotion in his eyes she couldn’t pinpoint. She pulled the ear buds out of her ears and inhaled deeply before looking away from his piercing stare, but she noticed he was smirking. The asshole was smirking. Yeah, sure she knew she looked funny, dancing around like a fool and singing at the top of her lungs, but he was smirking. Even looking like he was trying his hardest not to laugh.

  “Oh, no, please, continue. It was quite entertaining.” That shocked her into silence. He was speaking like a normal person. Gone was the anger that was constantly on the surface, gone was the snarky attitude. Who was this guy?

  “I…I’m sorry, I just get crazy being indoors sometimes.” She began to apologize, still stunned. Then she remembered why she was stuck indoors, and the reason was still smiling down at her. “No, wait, I’m not sorry. You stuck me in here. You never let me out. You blame me for something I didn’t do. I’ve told you that a million times. I’m nothing but nice to you, but you never say more than two words to me, and all I’m trying to do is make a crappy situation a little better. You are nothing but a big bully. And now you are a bully who is making fun of me. Yeah, so I like to sing and dance when I’m stuck indoors for months. I’m just so happy you find it amusing.” She huffed and crossed her arms. And that’s when Mason did something utterly shocking. He laughed. He outright laughed. Kat’s jaw would have dropped to the floor if she hadn’t been frozen in place.

  *****

  Mason had done his best to avoid Kat for over two months. What had started as his way of getting revenge on her was turning into something different. He expected her to beg, plead, curse – do something to show that she was breaking down. She was supposed to hate this, hate him, and get to a breaking point where she couldn’t take the slave labor anymore. Then Mason would feel a little better about his own life. But Kat clearly wasn’t who he thought she was. That girl had a freaking backbone. And she was wearing him down. As luck would have it, Benny had actually befriended her and kept telling Mason how much he liked her. And Benny was now pretty sure Kat was either the best liar that ever lived or she really had blocked out the rape accusation and trial from her memory. She had even mentioned she had a car accident a few years ago, so Benny speculated that maybe she bumped her head and it caused some memory loss. Who knew? Of course, Benny couldn’t be one hundred percent sure whether she was an Oscar-winning actress or an amnesia patient. That meant neither was Mason.

  But she kept up her cheery disposition, and she kept on breaking down his defenses. She made his favorite meals even though she didn’t know it. She put up little fights and then backed down. Damn if he didn’t catch himself thinking how cute she looked when she snapped at him. But then he would get angry with himself and take it out on her, snapping right back. So even if she didn’t remember, it didn’t change the fact that he still felt like he earned this revenge. The past doesn’t change just because you didn’t like it and blocked it out. He didn’t have the option to block out his messed up past.

  He was starting to actually feel a little bad about keeping her cooped up. He was trying to find a way to let her out without having her escape or notify anyone, but everything he came up with just wouldn’t work. Besides, she didn’t deserve his good graces. But when he ran that by Benny, he simply replied, “Even prisoners get to go outside.”

  Mason finished his day early and went home to find Kat dancing and singing her heart out. She was lost in her own little world and didn’t notice him walk through the door. Watching her so carefree actually tugged at something inside him. He wanted to hate her but in that moment he couldn’t. She looked like an idiot, but it was pretty endearing. He hated to admit that to himself, but he couldn’t stop the smile from forming as he watched her. In a different world, in a different life, he would have stood and stared at her all day. He would have believed he had come home to find his girlfriend being silly. He would have been able to smile like this on more occasions. But it wasn’t so. And then she bumped into him. Her flustered, embarrassed look forced the words out of his mouth. “Oh, no, please, continue. It was quite entertaining.”

  He wanted to punch himself for allowing this little chink in his armor. But it was too late. And he could tell he surprised her. He actually kind of liked that feeling. She was the one always getting to him; it seemed being a little nice to her was getting to her. Whatever it was, it worked for him. And then she got all huffy with him and the dam broke. He laughed. He hadn’t laughed in so long. And it wasn’t even because she had said or done anything truly that funny. He did admit to himself that her little show had been adorable. But really, it was because he had let his guard down and it got to her. And now that the emotions were out there, he couldn’t stop himself. He really did find her entertaining and amusing and extremely confusing. Finally, he calmed down.

  “It’s a nice change,” he said to her still stunned silence.

  “What is?” she asked, clearly confused.

  “To laugh.” She blinked in response to his words, but he saw the telltale signs of a smile forming. He had truly meant it. He had been in one angry mood after another for years. He hadn’t had a good laugh in so long and he needed it. And as much as he hated that it was Kat who had caused it, he was grateful. So he said the one thing he never thought he’d tell her and the one thing he knew would shock her most. “Thank you.” And that’s when her jaw finally hit the floor as he walked past her and went to his room, chuckling all the way.

  Who knew shocking Kat would be so much fun. He would have to do it again.

  Chapter 13

  Kat didn’t understand the change in Mason’s behavior. The next few weeks had been truly confusing. Her chores and activities were pretty much the same, but her interactions with Mason had changed. He would switch up his bitterness with bouts of friendliness. He even sometimes made little witty remarks when she spurred him on. She didn’t know what to think of him. She talked to Benny about it a few times and he simply said, “See, told you he was a good guy. Guess it just took a while for his defenses to break down with you.”

  That wasn’t it, she was sure. If he was such a good guy, he wouldn’t have concocted this kidnapping scheme, or at
the very least, he’d believe her and release her. Besides, it wasn’t like he was the picture of Mr. Nice. Oh no, he was still angry a good chunk of the time, it was just that he would surprise her every so often.

  She wondered if he was trying to confuse her, to get her so lost to reality that she would confess to something she didn’t do. That had to be it. Whatever the reason, and however nerve-wracking his behavior was, she did appreciate the times she could talk to him and actually pretend they were friends. And in those moments where he was soft, or at the very least normal, she saw what she would have sworn was awe in his expression, but she knew that was just her mind playing tricks on her. It was being stuck indoors all day. It was trying to befriend a kidnapper. It was trying to find a way to get out while getting used to the place she was in. Ugh! This was so messed up.

  And then Mason surprised her once again. He hadn’t gone to work, but was busy in his office for most of the morning. After a few hours, he finally came out.

  “You probably wouldn’t have noticed, but I don’t have many neighbors. Nevertheless, don’t bother screaming, no one will hear you. And if you ever want to go outside again, you won’t try it.”

  She stopped cleaning and looked up. “Huh?” That was all she managed to get out.

  “You wanted out of the house, we’re going out. As you probably noticed, we are surrounded by a pretty high gate. There is no way to climb it and no way for you to open it. It has the same system that I have on the door here. If you want to try screaming when we get outside, by all means, go ahead. But you and I both know I wouldn’t risk taking you out if someone could hear you, so you can believe me when I say there is no point. Let’s go.”

  She dropped the broom right there on the floor and followed Mason out to the backyard. At first, the sun was blinding and the air almost stung, but after a moment of adjusting, it was heaven. People took being outdoors for granted and it took her being indoors for almost three months to understand that.

  She thought about screaming for only a fraction of a second, but she knew Mason was right, so she didn’t bother. She looked toward the sky, shielded her eyes, and twirled slowly. She inhaled deeply and then sat down on the grass.

  Mason stood off to the side in the shadows, watching her. She couldn’t see his eyes, but she could feel them on her the entire time.

  They stayed like that in silence for an eternity and finally, she had to ask, “I’m certainly not complaining and I hope you don’t take me back inside anytime soon, but what brought this about?”

  Mason came out of the shadows and slowly sat down on the grass by Kat. He swallowed hard and stared at her for a long time before finally speaking and when he did, Kat hadn’t expected the words that came out. “I know you are responsible for my life falling apart. I was there, so there is no use you trying to tell me otherwise, but I am starting to believe you might actually not remember any of it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fully believe it, but I became a pretty good judge of character in prison and your vehement proclamations of innocence are getting to me. This…this whole thing was supposed to be my version of punishment since you got away scot-free, but you’ve taken it all in as if it’s nothing but a blip on your radar.” He paused, looking down at his hands and Kat stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. He looked back up at her and his arresting green eyes bore into her and she couldn’t look away. He truly was a beautiful man, regardless of his clearly broken psyche. “You aren’t the person you used to be, and you aren’t the person I thought you were, but that doesn’t change the past. You are still a prisoner here and you are still serving your punishment, at least until I feel it’s enough, but to borrow a line from Benny, ‘Even prisoners get to go outside.’ So here we are. It just took me a little while to figure out how to make it so you could get out and not notify anyone.” He looked a little uncomfortable at that moment, like he hadn’t intended on opening up. He stood, dusting himself off. “You can stay out here a little longer. I’ll come get you in a bit.”

  She reached for his hand as he turned, and she felt him stiffen with her grasp, but he didn’t turn back around. “Thank you,” she spoke softly. He turned his face toward her and nodded, and there it was again, that look of awe. And then he left her alone with her thoughts.

  Living with Mason and being around him so much, she knew he was a very complex man. She knew there were many layers to him, and although he had shown her a few softer layers over the past month, she had never seen him like this. He truly was human, just completely broken. She finally understood what the point of this punishment really was – he wanted her to feel as broken as he was. He wanted her to feel like nothing mattered because that was how he felt. But the fact that she hadn’t broke yet and had kept up with all his demands was something he couldn’t fathom. It was something he revered but couldn’t comprehend.

  He was so certain that she was truly behind his downfall. But she knew she wasn’t, that there was no way. There was no time in her life for that to have happened. She didn’t understand why he wholeheartedly believed it was her.

  She needed to learn more about the rape accusation; she needed to learn more about him. She couldn’t even believe she thought this, but she needed to fix him. She was clearly starting to suffer from Stockholm syndrome because she actually related to Mason and wanted to help this broken man. She briefly wondered what he was like before he was sent to prison. She wondered if they would have ever met.

  It didn’t matter now. They had met, he was unapproachable, and he was damn handsome. And now, to her, he was human.

  Chapter 14

  The next week, Kat tiptoed around Mason. She was still trying to understand him and figure out a way to get him to open up. And she was trying to process her own feelings for him. That Sunday Mason took her outside again. She was giddy from being outdoors, especially since this was only her second time in months. She sat on a lounge chair with her eyes closed, basking in the warmth of the sun on her face while a slight breeze blew her hair around. She recalled the conversation she had with Mason the previous week, but she pushed it back because she was on a high. If she stopped to think about it, it was actually pretty sad that she was so darn happy to be outside. She wanted to hug Mason and thank him for letting her out. Yep, definitely Stockholm syndrome, how else could she explain the silly feelings she had.

  After about an hour or so, Mason came outside and announced, “The boys are coming over for the playoffs.” She knew he had been referring to the Stanley Cup Playoffs and her happiness went up another notch. Hockey! Yay!

  Still on her high she asked, “You think there is a chance I can watch the game with you guys? I mean, I’ll still make sure everything is prepared and you guys are served and get everything you want or need, but I love hockey. I would love to watch the game and have fun with you guys.”

  “Give a finger, they ask for the whole hand,” he muttered.

  “Huh?”

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  “Oh.” She couldn’t hide her disappointment.

  “But I’ll pretend not to notice if you happen to accidentally watch the game while getting me a beer or something. You know, if you take an extra long time setting it down in front of me,” he said while smirking.

  The change was such a pleasant surprise that before she even knew what she was doing, Kat threw herself at Mason and hugged him. She felt him hug her back, and she forgot herself for a moment in the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her.

  She pulled back slightly and looked up at his face. He was looking down at her with a bit of an uneasy expression on his face. She should have let go, but for some reason, she couldn’t. And he didn’t either, and they stood like that for a little longer. It was what some would call an awkward moment, right out of a movie, but Kat was lost in his green eyes and the humor he had just displayed. And then he shifted and Kat remembered where they were. And more importantly, who he was.

  She pulled back. “Thank you.”

  “Rig
ht.” He coughed a little uncomfortably. “Well, there will be a few more guys today, some friends of John’s. So you better go get everything set up.”

  “Yep, right on it.” She walked back inside.

  *****

  Mason kept his promise and Kat got to watch most of the game as if she were one of the guys. The usual suspects, John, Benny, and Chain, regarded her with their usual attitudes – Benny’s was friendly, Chain’s was flirty, and John’s was indifferent. But there were two new guys, one of whom barely paid attention to her, almost like John, while the other leered at her practically the entire time. It was like she was the game and not what was on the television. And although Chain had stared at her the entire time when she first met him, she didn’t seem as troubled by his appreciation of her as she did by this new guy. She hadn’t figured out his name, but his friend had called him Junior once, so maybe that was it.

  Kat went to use the restroom. When she stepped out, she ran into Junior. Bumping into guys on her way out the restroom was starting to creep her out. Of course Benny wasn’t creepy, but this guy sure as hell was.

  “So I hear Benny call you Kitty Kat. But I’m thinking I’d like to call you Pussy Kat. You’d like that, huh?”

  “Um, no, but thanks for asking. Bathroom’s all yours now. I should get back out there and get Mason a new beer.”

  “I thought me and you could get to know each other a little better. I thought we could step back into one of the rooms and play a little show and tell, just you and me.”