Let Me Go

by DC Renee

  She stroked his back, whispering in his ear that he would be all right. He knew the irony was that if she hadn’t falsely accused him of rape, he wouldn’t have been in prison and wouldn’t need the comfort he sought from her right now. He was vaguely aware that he was only in a pair of boxers and she was in the camisole and shorts that he had gotten for her to sleep in. He felt her body heat mix with his own, and he liked that feeling. He liked sitting there in her arms, feeling her soft flesh pressed against his hard lines. He was able to forget what they were, where they were. They weren’t accuser and kidnapper. They weren’t enemies. He wasn’t allowing this comfort simply because she was the only available source, and she wasn’t providing it simply because she was a good person now, even if she wasn’t then. No. This was just two people who needed each other. He could pretend even if his mind knew better.

  Eventually she pulled away, but only so she could look into his eyes. He saw the pity, the regret, and the pain. She wasn’t pretending. She was truly worried about him. That just enforced how different she was, but again, he wouldn’t think of that. Not now.

  “Mason, do you want to talk about it? Get it off your chest?”

  That caught him off guard, but he recovered quickly. Did he want to talk about it? Hell no. But he had suddenly lost his voice, so he just shook his head.

  “That’s all right, I understand. Many victims of traumatic experiences don’t want to discuss the details of what they witnessed or what happened to them. They often feel ashamed or just don’t want to relive the memories. They feel if they can bury them, they can move on. But if you keep it bottled up inside you, it will eat at you and you will continue to have nightmares.”

  She sounded like a damn shrink. Some small part of him wanted to admit that she was probably right. But how the hell does one start talking about something like this? They don’t. They keep it inside and hope it goes away.

  “Mason, I have a suspicion of what happened to you. You may have been able to push it down for a while, but what happened to me today, it triggered something. I bet that was the cause of your nightmare. Please, just look at me and tell me if I’m right. Are my suspicions true? Did what almost happen to me happen to you?”

  She took his face in both her hands and forced him to look at her. He didn’t answer, not with words or even with a nod. He kept his face blank, but he must have given something away because Kat gasped. “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. No one should have to go through that. Oh, Mason.” And then she wrapped her arms around him. She sniffled, and he could have sworn she was crying silent tears, but he couldn’t see her face and he still couldn’t speak.

  She pulled back again, searching his face for answers, but he had none. “I am going to try one more time. Please talk to me. You need to talk to someone and I know what I’m doing.”

  He didn’t know how that was possible. She sounded so formal, so professional. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he believed she really did know what she was doing. It didn’t mean he was going to talk to her.

  “No,” he responded. “I appreciate you coming in here and waking me from my dreams. It’s nothing I can’t handle, so you can go back to bed. We are still waking up in a few short hours and I expect breakfast to be ready.” He had tried to make his voice sound stern, but he knew he had failed.

  “No,” she answered back.

  “No?”

  “That’s right, you heard me. No. We aren’t getting up in a few hours. I’m not making breakfast at six. And I’m not leaving you here by yourself to wallow in your own misery. Nope. No can do. I might not be out there helping others like I should be, but I can be with you. You want to go back to sleep? Fine. I’ll stay here to make sure you don’t have any more nightmares. But frankly, my sleep hasn’t been all that great tonight, and I doubt I will be going back to bed. So Mason, tell me something about yourself. What is your last name? Where are your parents? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What is your favorite childhood memory? You don’t want to talk about your problems? Okay. But we are talking. So start.”

  And just like that, all his problems were forgotten. Her feisty spirit actually made him laugh. Yes, he laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked, sounding a little offended.

  “You. Damn, you sounded like a therapist for about ten minutes and then you turn it around in five seconds flat and make this an icebreaker. How you can flip like that, I don’t know. But it did break all the tension, so thank you.”

  Even in the dark, he saw a smile form on her face, and it made him smile too.

  “Tredwell.” The word just escaped his mouth.

  “Huh?” She used that word a lot, apparently.

  “My last name. My parents died years ago. I was an only child. And you have to be a little bit more specific on what you consider childhood and what kind of memory. If you are talking ten and up, then it would involve a cute brunette named Stacey that lived next door and a kiss. If you want something deeper, then it was probably the first time my dad took me sailing and taught me all the parts of the ship. I thought I was a grown-up until I got seasick, and my dad felt bad all the way back. At least I knew he cared.”

  He wasn’t sure what made him open up and answer her questions, but at the moment he didn’t care. He felt normal for the first time in a long time, and he liked that. He knew when tomorrow came, things would go back to the way they were, but sitting here, in the dark, they were two different people. He felt alive. If she wanted to talk, he would talk until the sun came up and then some, until reality set back in.

  *****

  Kat stared at Mason. She didn’t actually expect him to answer any questions. She just assumed that he would chew her head off like he usually did when she talked back and send her to her room. But he surprised her. And she didn’t know what to make of it, but it felt right. If he was willing to open up, to talk to her as if they were friends, she would take it, for however long he was willing to give it. Her mind finally caught up to her thoughts and she chuckled.

  “Stacey, eh?”

  “First kiss and all.” He laughed right back. “We were behind the big tree in front of her house, and we were stupid enough to think it shielded us from view. Until her mom pulled up in the driveway and scolded both of us. Your turn.”

  She grew serious. “I didn’t really have a great childhood. I was bounced from foster home to foster home, but when I was about ten, one of my foster brothers had a book he needed to do a paper on for school. I was nerdy and the new kid, so he thought he could get me to read it and give him a recap so he wouldn’t have to read it. It was Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie, and although I didn’t understand half of it and I was afraid of trains for a while after that, I was able to lose myself in fantasy for the first time. After that, I became obsessed with reading. I didn’t have to be myself or live my life. I could escape to the fantasy that came alive in the pages. Ever since then, I’ve been a book worm.”

  “My library,” Mason mumbled to himself. “That’s why you are always staring at it like it could save your life.” It wasn’t a question, so Kat didn’t say anything.

  It was another minute before Mason spoke and he smiled again, sending Kat’s heart into a frenzied pounding rhythm. It was rare to see Mason smile, but when he did, gone was the angry scowl that was always on his face and instead, his bright green eyes sparkled. “You know, Kat, I think I like this get-to-know-you little pow wow.”

  So did she. And that’s exactly what they did until the sun bled through the blinds, and they were too exhausted to speak anymore. They fell asleep in a tangled mess, neither realizing just how close they were.

  Chapter 17

  Mason woke and immediately something felt off. It only took a few seconds to realize he had an interesting sort of blanket covering half his body, and by interesting blanket, he meant Kat. Her leg was wrapped around his, her head lay on his chest, and her arm was around his torso. Her shirt had ridden up a bit, and
he got a glimpse of her lean back. He had already admitted to himself that she was extremely attractive, but that hadn’t mattered because she was his enemy. However his body hadn’t gotten the memo. Seeing her on him in such an intimate embrace was enough to make him groan in approval.

  His mind flashed back to before they fell asleep in such a state. She had woken him from his nightmare, comforted him, talked back to him, and then spent the rest of the night talking. They hadn’t learned all that much about each other, and yet they had at the same time. They shared memories, likes, dislikes, jokes, book reviews, you name it; they talked about it. They had steered clear of anything negative and more importantly, they didn’t broach the subject of how they had gotten here in the first place. From the outside looking in, someone might even mistake them for two potential lovers trying to get to know each other after meeting and hitting it off for the first time. Mason had forgotten all about his demons and his situation. He had just enjoyed the time he spent with Kat.

  She looked so peaceful in her sleep. He was able to study her, look closely at every part of her body that wasn’t covered. She had no distinguishing marks, no lines, and no scars. Her skin was almost flawless. He never knew what she used to be hooked on, but he couldn’t deny that he was pretty shocked to learn it wasn’t something that left marks on her. Maybe it was just prescription painkillers.

  He knew that she had been working hard day in and day out, breaking her back to keep the place spotless. After what she had been through the day before, especially after she barely slept, he didn’t want to wake her. He slid out from under her very slowly and carefully. She furrowed her brow at the loss of contact but didn’t wake.

  He got dressed and went to the living room. And that’s when he had time to process everything that happened. Damn! He was losing his touch. He was getting soft. He was starting to see Kat as a person, as a friend. As a beauty without rival instead of the monster that she was, the evil person that had accused him of rape for the sake of revenge. How did he let his guard down? How did she charm him into oblivion? This couldn’t be happening!

  He picked up his phone, dialing Benny.

  “Yo, Mason, how’s Kitty Kat doing?”

  “She’s, well shit Benny, I’m losing focus.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I had a nightmare, you know, from prison.” Mason didn’t have to elaborate, he knew Benny would understand. “And I guess I was talking in my sleep because she woke me up and then stuck around to make sure I was okay. And then, well, we talked all night and she fell asleep in my bed. It felt right. I felt at ease until I got out of bed and realized how fucked up this is. She’s my prisoner. I’m supposed to be breaking her will, not playing twenty questions.”

  “I told you I liked her, bro, and I knew it was only a matter of time until you did too. Look Mason, I know what your plans are for her and I’m not going to step in your way, but whoever she was before ain’t who she is now. She’s all right, you know? Can’t help how you feel about the girl she is now.”

  “You’re not helping,” Mason growled.

  “Oh? You wanted help, huh? And here I thought you were turning into a girl and trying to gossip and talk about feelings. So what do you want me to say? You want to break her, then don’t be her friend, be her master. You want to humiliate her, then go back to being your usual asshole self. Although, gotta say I’ve been liking nice Mason lately. But, shit, that’s on you.”

  “I’m sticking to the plan.”

  “Thought your stubborn ass would say that. All right, then there is nothing I can do for you. Go be your cheery self.”

  He hung up pissed. What the hell was Benny implying? That he should just let Kat go on her merry way and pretend like she hadn’t ruined his life just because she’s all high and mighty now? The future didn’t change the past. But her past had certainly fucked up his future.

  He’d let her sleep long enough.

  *****

  “Get up.” Kat heard an angry voice through the fog of her sleep. “Up, now, you have all your chores to start.” She tried to ignore the noise, but then someone was shaking her, and her eyes opened to see Mason staring down on her. He had frown lines around his mouth, and his lips were thinned into a hard line.

  “I understand you went through a traumatic event yesterday and I appreciated your comfort last night, but today is a new day. Get up. It’s almost lunch and I’m obviously staying home, so get to it.” His voice was filled with resentment and even a little annoyance, but that didn’t match up with that regret still in his eyes. She stared at him dumbfounded as to what was going on and then the memories flooded her mind. Mason screaming, pleading, his nightmare, hugging, laughing, talking, and falling asleep in each other’s arms. Things had been different last night. But now, hard Mason was back, and she didn’t like it one bit. But there was nothing she could do. She nodded, willing back the tears. She would not cry. But, oh how she wanted to. She wanted to cry for the indecisiveness she felt rolling off him in waves. She wanted to cry for the loss of progress. She wanted to cry for the change from the Mason she finally met last night to the one that was staring at her now. And she wanted to cry for the entirety of her life over the past few months.

  She got up slowly, trying not to meet Mason’s eyes before heading to her room to change. Before she reached the door, she turned and lifted her chin, not ready to give up in defeat. “It was really nice to finally meet the real Mason Tredwell last night. I hope I get to see him again.”

  She walked out with a smirk, noticing the stunned look on Mason’s face. He wanted to play hardball after finally giving in to her, then fine. He had better make sure he was playing in her league, because Kat wasn’t giving up that easily. He wanted to go back to being a hard ass, fine. Then he would have to deal with her snarky comebacks. But one thing she knew for sure – she had gotten through to him and she would do it again, one way or another.

  Chapter 18

  The rest of the week was pretty rotten. Mason had reverted back to the mean, moody version of himself, and no matter how sickeningly sweet or even snarky Kat became, he kept his walls up. He hadn’t even let her go outside at all that week, knowing that was something she treasured. It also prevented her from going crazy. Gone was all the progress she had made and it was starting to piss her off. So the following weekend, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She was cleaning off the countertops in the kitchen, and Mason was reading the newspaper as if no one was around him.

  “Ugh! You are such an asshole!” she said as she threw the towel onto the countertop.

  Well, that got his attention. His head shot up immediately and she saw confusion pass over his face before the anger set in, but she didn’t care. Before he had a chance to contemplate either stalking across the room or yelling at her, she opened her mouth again.

  “Look, I get that whatever happened between us that resembled something very close to friendship either scared you or pissed you off or…I don’t know what the hell it did to you, but you are an even bigger douchebag than you were before!”

  He gritted his teeth, but stayed in his sitting position. If it wasn’t for how tightly he gripped the newspaper, she would think he was pretty calm, even though his words were laced with an edge. “Just because I was nice to you a few times here and there makes you think we are friends?” He laughed a fake, sinister laugh. “You are here for a purpose, Kat. And in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t give a damn what you think of me. You want to like me? Ha! You don’t know me.”

  “I don’t know this asshole version of you,” she tried to mumble, but it came out louder than she thought and instantly knew he had heard her.

  “What the hell did you just say?” he snapped.

  “I said you’re an ass!” she yelled. “Whoever that guy I met last weekend was, he’s not you. He was vulnerable and nice and understanding. I didn’t hate him. I didn’t even care that he has me locked up, because I didn’t feel like he was a damn prison warden. In fact, I act
ually liked him. He was real. This…you.” She pointed at Mason. “Whatever the hell you are now, that’s not real. You are just a shell of yourself. You put on a tough exterior because you don’t want to face the deep-seated issues that plague your mind and heart. And you find me as your outlet. I am not responsible for whatever happened to you. I know you’ll never believe me, but I don’t care. When you opened up to me, I didn’t care that I’m stuck here thanks to you. I didn’t care that I was almost raped being here because of you. I didn’t care that I am your damn slave because I saw you as a real person, a broken person. But, you, this asshole you are now, I don’t like him. I hate him. And you know what, fuck you and fuck this work. I’m done for today. You want to punish me, go ahead. I know you won’t hit me, but if you want to take down my damn door and get rid of whatever bullshit privacy I have, do it. It will be worth it.” And with that, Kat left a completely stunned and speechless Mason as she stormed to her room and slammed the door.

  She was alone for only a few seconds before Mason burst through the door. “You want to call me an asshole, fine. Kat, I am an asshole. And I am your, what did you call it, your prison warden. I already told you I don’t give a damn what you think of me. I repeat, I am not your friend. You must have been delusional to think otherwise. Now get back to work before I do punish you.”

  “No!”

  “I think you forget who is in charge here. And I think you forget what I’m capable of.”

  “Oh, trust me, you won’t let me forget,” she sneered. “But whatever you are capable of, you won’t physically harm me. That’s one thing I’m not afraid of.” And she wasn’t, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t afraid of Mason in general. She wasn’t entirely sure why, just something about his demeanor made her cower, but she held her head high. She wouldn’t let him see her tremble.