His to Save

by Selina Coffey

  “Good afternoon, John,” he said to Ann’s father as he walked into the antechamber to his office. “What can I do for you?”

  “Mary wanted me to bring this to you. She thought Ann might still be asleep. Poor babe is having a rough time.” John followed Rager from the antechamber and into his office. He carried a bag.

  “What is it?” Rager asked and sat down behind his desk. He took the bag and opened it up.

  “It’s some of the clothes Ann made for the babies. They’ve outgrown them in the last couple of weeks. You might need them for your baby, so Mary wanted me to bring them for you.”

  “Oh. Thanks.” Rager stared down into the bag of tiny clothes. Small little pants, all of soft, cotton materials, shirts, caps, socks, and nightclothes. Rager gulped as he looked at the tiny outfits.

  Ann had an entire wardrobe full of them at their house, but he didn’t go into the baby’s room. It was her domain.

  He pulled out a tiny shirt and looked at it. His hand was bigger than the entire shirt. His child would fit into this? It seemed impossible that something so small could possibly be his responsibility. A new worry nagged at him.

  Would he break his child with his giant hands? Would he be too rough and not know it?

  “It’s alright, son,” John said softly.

  Ann’s father was the only person that had ever called Rager that, and he rather liked it. It was only used in private and only sparingly. In times like now, when Rager looked so overwhelmingly unsure. Rager looked at him, a plea in his eyes.

  “You sure about that? I could crush the poor child and not even mean to. Look at this.” He held his hand out, the shirt against his fingers. It barely touched his palm.

  “Instinct will kick in, son. I know women like to talk about a mother’s intuition, but I can tell you, fathers have one too. We learn quickly how to control our hands, how to be gentle but firm as we hold our babies. It’s scary, I know, but you’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so.” Rager looked doubtfully down at the small shirt and sat down in his chair. “Ann will strangle me if I kill our child by accident.”

  “You won’t.” He paused and then offered some advice. “Find yourself an orange, carry it around in your hand. Get used to that. By the time the orange is a baby’s head, you’ll be used to it. Or maybe a tennis ball, if you can find them.”

  “Thanks, John.” Rager nodded his head and began to breathe easier. Maybe this wouldn’t be too hard, with his father-in-law’s help. He might even be something like prepared by the time the baby came. He doubted it, but there was always hope, right?

  12

  Ann put the baby down in a makeshift bassinette and turned to her mother. She wore a smile that lit up her face with pure joy.

  “She’s just so precious, Mom.”

  “I know, I can’t believe it.” Her mother walked over to the bassinette and stroked the baby’s hair with her own joyous smile. “I thought you would be our only child, and now, here we are, with two more. It’s so different.”

  “I imagine so, it’s been over 20 years and the world came to an end.” Ann sighed, her hands on her distended stomach. “And there are two of them.”

  “Yes, it’s easier now, actually. When you were born, I had everybody telling me what to do, what was best for baby, baby this, baby that. I don’t think you know, but I had post-partum depression after I had you.” Mary sat down beside Ann on the couch in the living room and gave Ann a look of regret. “I tried so hard not to be depressed, but in the end, I had to get help.”

  “I didn’t know. You never seemed depressed to me.” Ann turned awkwardly and faced her mother. She’d come over to her mother’s house so she wouldn’t have to get the babies out, but now wondered how she’d ever get back home.

  “I wasn’t by the time you were old enough to realize what was going on around you. When I had you, I had women all over the place telling me what to do, how to do it, when to do it. It got to the point that I didn’t feel like you were even mine. I’d had you, but somehow it was almost as if I’d rented you and they expected me to give back this perfectly raised adult who’d had everything handed to her. Even men did it, and fuck, by the time you were a month old, I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Her words came out in a rush and as she spoke her face creased with an ever-growing look of guilt.

  “What did you do?” Ann asked and leaned in toward her mother. From the way her mom wouldn’t meet her eyes, she knew something had happened, something had forced her to get help.

  “I ran away,” Mary whispered, her eyes closed, and her mouth turned down in sorrow. “I left you with your father one night, said I was going to get diapers, and I ran away.”

  “Mom, that must have been really bad then.” Ann knew her mother as a loving woman that would never leave her daughter in distress.

  “I was gone for a week. Your dad learned a lot that week, mainly about why I’d run away. You had colic from the day you were born, and you cried. Oh, how you cried.” Mary shuddered, and Ann knew her mother was reliving those squalls and screams of a baby in pain. “I gave you the medicine the doctors suggested and tried to limit the food I ate, but nothing helped it.”

  “Dad figured out how to make it better.” Ann remembered something, a snippet of information about how he used to rub her stomach every time she ate until she’d go to sleep.

  “He did, and he saved us both. I came home, reluctantly, but not reluctant because of you, honey.” She rushed to assure her daughter. “I was certain I was about to fail all those women that knew better than me. That I would fail you and you’d hate me. I had no confidence at all. So, I cut all discussion about how to best raise you out of my life, read a few books, and listened to what you had to tell me. Even when most of it was simple observation at the start.” Mary smiled at last, her eyes a little shiny.

  “I think you did great, Mom, and I’d have never guessed you thought you’d fail. You are my best friend, really.” She hugged her Mom, then told her she had to get home. “Skye’s on her way to the house and I really should meet her there.”

  “It’s alright, honey. You get home and rest.” Mary stood up to help Ann off the couch, and then hugged her close. “It was never that I didn’t want you, Ann. I just didn’t know how to cope. So, I learned how.”

  “Well, I’ll follow your lead then, shall I?” Ann said and kissed her Mom’s cheek. “You’re the best mom in the world, don’t you doubt it.”

  “I won’t, see you later, honey.” Mary waved her eldest daughter off and sat down with the babies.

  By the time Ann made it back home, Skye had arrived and was waiting in her living room. Ann went straight to the couch and slumped down. The winter had settled in, it was rainy outside, and the sky was dark already. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace, and Ann reached her feet out towards it.

  “I’m not liking this one bit.” Her hand was on her stomach to cradle the spot where the baby kicked. “It’s determined I won’t have any vital organs left by the time it’s born.”

  “You will, they’ll just be… bruised.” Skye dropped down to rub her friend’s swollen feet and asked how Ann was.

  “Just tired, awkward, huge!” Ann let her head fall back on the deep couch and stared at the black leather it was upholstered in. “I want a new couch. I hate this one.”

  “Why?” Skye asked, her knuckles deep in between the bones of Ann’s feet. “They’re so sexy.”

  “That’s why. They won’t be once a baby is here.” Ann responded and moaned at the odd sensation of pain found but then kneaded into quietness. “That’s awesome, Skye.”

  “I know. I’ve been giving foot rubs since I was a kid. My mom made me do it.”

  “You’re a saint for touching my stinky old feet. They’ve been in boots all day.”

  “They don’t stink. You do need some lotion on these heels though, girl.”

  “Thanks, I’ll get right on that.” Ann scoffed and moved around until she didn’t feel like she’d s
lide off the couch.

  “I’ve heard a few things this week,” Skye said as she sat back down on the couch.

  “Like what?” Ann looked over at Skye and saw her friend’s face was the normal, lovely face she knew so well now. Hers was puffy and she felt that she barely looked like herself anymore.

  “The newcomers are all humans, but they’ve been given houses closer into the town, not close to the beach like we’ve been given.” She paused, picked up Ann’s other foot, and started to knead. “They’ve all been warned against it, but they’re talking about an uprising.”

  “Not again!” Ann exclaimed, her hands over her face. “Why can’t they just go further down the coastline if they want beachfront property so bad?”

  “Stupidity, my friend. They’ve also decided they want their own wolf-shifter servants.” Skye waited and watched Ann’s response.

  “But Rager’s dictated that’s over and done with!” Ann slid up, slowly, but still up, to stare at Skye with confusion. “The ones that work here now aren’t made to, they have their own homes, and their own lives. They have the same benefits and perks that we do. They don’t even have to wear uniforms anymore. They aren’t virtual slaves anymore.”

  “I know. There’s even a high society developing among the shifters. Your Mom and Amanda are high on that list.” Skye smirked, but it was a happy smirk, not a nasty one.

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  “They want the shifters to be slaves again.” Skye paused. This time, Ann knew it was something she wouldn’t like. “And people of color to join them.”

  “No!” Ann gripped Skye’s hand. “I won’t allow that.”

  “Thanks kindly, white lady.” Skye spoke with a mock-high voice and fluttered her eyelashes. “I know you didn’t mean it like that, but yeah, that was wrong.”

  “I didn’t mean because I’m white, Skye!” Ann was hurt and it showed in her face and voice. “I meant because I’m the overlord’s wife. Which, ahem, probably isn’t any better.”

  Ann’s cheeks turned red and Skye laughed at her discomfort. “Calm down, my fair lady. I know you meant well. But yeah, that shit’s scary.”

  “Well, we won’t allow it, will we?” Ann included Skye in that we this time. Skye nodded. “But I will speak to Rager about it. Thanks for letting me know.”

  “My pleasure. Now, if I’m not mistaken, I’ve heard the door open, which probably means the Overlord is home. I shall take my leave.” Skye gave a courtly bow before she ran back to hug Ann. “I love you, sister.”

  “I love you, sister.” Ann meant it, and knew it shone in her eyes just how much she meant it. She could almost feel the love beaming out of the orbs. “Bye.”

  “Well, bye to you, my princess,” Rager said as he came in and took the place Skye had just left. “That was Skye leaving in a blur, was it?”

  “Yes. I guess she was in a hurry to get home.” She leaned back against the arm of the couch and looked him over. “How was your day?”

  “Cold. Wet. Miserable. Better now that I’m home.” His hand rubbed at her legs, bare beneath the long rusty red skirt she wore so she didn’t have to try to fit into pants. “How are you?”

  “Well, Skye’s just told me the new arrivals that came in earlier this week are causing problems.”

  “Oh?” he asked, but she could see he was more interested in her legs than her words.

  “Yes. They want to make the shifters slaves again.” His hand slid up her calf, over her knee, and almost distracted her, but she carried on. “And people of color.”

  “I’ll soon sort that out, don’t you worry.” His hand went higher, skimmed up to her thigh and nudged until she opened for him. “For now, I want to forget today, and find somewhere warm and relaxing to be.”

  “Well, if that’s what you’re after.” She let her legs fall open and laughed as he bent over to tilt her hips up to his face. His tongue came out to stroke her, and she nearly lost her mind.

  She felt fat, clumsy, and unattractive, but Rager came home every night and made it clear she was more beautiful than ever. His tongue danced along her skin now, a tease she knew wouldn’t last long. Being pregnant had increased her nerve sensitivity, and it only took him seconds to make the world go dark for her.

  She clutched at the couch, but it was too rigid to claw into. She panted his name, then she screamed it as he took her high, just before he took her. It was fast, satisfying, and only a prelude to the things he’d do later. Pregnancy had not only made her more sensitive, it made her more… aroused. And he loved to see how much he could make her scream his name in one night.

  When they were finished, she slid off the couch and down to the floor to sit in front of the fire, a blanket over her shoulders.

  “I’m worried about these newcomers, Rager,” she told him, and he sat up to zip his pants back up, but he didn’t replace his lost shirt. He never did feel the cold quite like she did.

  “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll take care of it.” His feet stuck out of the bottom of his trousers, strong manly feet but tipped with toes that were almost… pretty. Still masculine but not those ugly peanut-looking things some men had.

  “I wish you didn’t have to, though. I wish people would give up those old notions.” He came to sit beside her, and they both stared into the flames.

  “That’s our job, Ann. To make them see new ways, to accept new things. We can’t just expect people to change an entire lifetime of ideas because of one cataclysm and a mini ice-age.”

  “Isn’t that kind of the point though? Things might not have been so bad for us, if we’d all worked together, been more prepared, learned to listen to what the planet was telling us.”

  “You’re right, yes, but, well, people are strange, no matter what planet they come from. Take the men that wanted me to not mate with you. My men. They knew better, they knew you weren’t inferior, but in their heads, you were. Not fit, and not acceptable. They’re now on a prison planet for their crimes.” His voice was rough, but he held her gently, with care.

  “Good. I hate to be that way, but they helped Rex, and that is just wrong to me.”

  “Exactly. Now, are we going to eat dinner, or are we going to stare at the flames all night?”

  “I sent the staff home. We can have what they left for us, or I can bring something in here for us and we can camp?”

  It was too cold to sit outside now and eat, the fire made it feel a little more romantic and a little bit like being outside to Ann.

  “You stay here, I’ll heat dinner up and bring it in here. You don’t need to be up again until we go up to bed.”

  “Thanks, baby,” she called out to him as he left her there.

  He wasn’t anything like she thought he’d be that first day. He was gentle, kind, and he took care of her. Like she was precious to him. Neither had yet to say the ‘L’ word, but she suspected it was there for them both. Rager was an alien though, and from what she’d observed of them, love and affection weren’t high on their list of things to have or show. The fact that he was affectionate, caring, showed far more than she’d seen from most of them. She hoped they all found the kind of happiness she’d found with her mate, though. The world would be a much happier place if it had. Even if Rex was still out there in the world, somewhere.

  13

  “Who is this guy, again?” Rager asked and Ann rolled her eyes at him. She’d told him a few times already.

  “His name is Greg Alleman, he’s a country music singer. Kind of blues mixed with country. He’s a really good entertainer.” Ann gripped her fingers around Rager’s hand and leaned into him with a soft laugh. “You’ll like him, I promise.”

  “You just want to meet him.” Rager teased her with a playful grin. It was a new thing from him and showed a playful side she hadn’t been aware of before.

  “Sure, I want to meet a still gorgeous former country music god like this.” She waved around her stomach and the rest of herself. “You might love me like this, dear,
but I doubt anybody else does.”

  They laughed together as they walked to the back of the makeshift stage and went through to his dressing room. Rager knocked and when the man called for them to come in, Ann followed her husband, her hand cupped in his. She was nervous but excited too and it showed in the way she couldn’t stop the grin that spread over her face.

  “Hi,” she said shyly, and walked further into the room, her hand held out. “I’m Ann and this is my mate, Rager.”

  She didn’t need to explain that Rager was the Overlord of the world now, everybody that came into the sector knew it. She stared up at the tall man and noted he still wasn’t as tall as Rager.

  “Hi there, I’m Greg Alleman, it’s nice to meet you both. Won’t you have a seat?” He waved at some chairs sat around the small room and they all moved around until they were settled.

  “How did you manage to survive?” Ann asked, even though she knew most of the story.

  “My crew and I managed to fill up my tour bus with food and supplies, and then we went up to a cave system one of the guys knew about. We holed up in there and scavenged when we could. We found a place in there where it stayed a pretty constant temperature, one we could all live with, and just tried to survive. There was some kind of hot spring that flowed above the rocks and it really helped us to keep warm. Food became a problem, but we had a lot of beans and rice, canned goods, things like that.”

  “What did you do when you weren’t scavenging?” Rager asked, curious as to how they’d spent the many hours of the day.

  “We built an entire apartment complex in there, if you can believe it. Then we raided libraries for books, magazines, things like that. Games that we became bored with after a few years. We did a lot of exploring of that cave system too. That kept us occupied most of the time. It was too cold to go outside, and well, we just did whatever we could. I wrote a lot of songs and even a book that I burned. I didn’t think it would ever see the light of day, and well, you guys came along and I thought I’d better keep my secrets a little while longer.” The country legend, still handsome in his early 40s, tilted back the black cowboy hat he wore, and stuck his feet out in front of him as he leaned back against the ladder back chair he was in.