by Tang Xianzu
(They fight again)
(Fourth Prince is defeated and flees)
(Enter Princess Golden Branch, followed by attendants)
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
Thank Heavens! The magistrate has returned in triumph. All the troops shall line up at the gate to greet His Highness.
(Greets Chunyu Fen)
CHUNYU FEN:
How scared I was!
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
I was nearly frightened to death.
(To the tune of Wuyeti)
I was timid and fragile in illness,
Trembling with fear,
Like Xiang Yu’s wife besieged in Gaixia,
And like Cui Yingying fighting beyond the bridge.
I was shot on the gold hairpin,
And almost got my rosy cheek spoilt.
On the watchtower I expected you,
Defeating the invaders’ chain enclosures on our women garrison.
If you had been late for a short while,
I would have been smashed.
CHUNYU FEN:
We’ll feast and offer bounties to the soldiers outside the Jade Terrace. Get the wine for the princess to get over her shock!
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
As the siege of the Jade Terrace has just been lifted, we’d better not linger here for long. We should set out immediately and go back to Nanke County.
(To the tune of Coda)
The sheep are slaughtered at the gate,
And loud drums are heard all the way,
More pleasant than the song and music.
If you had not come to my rescue in person,
And deployed the soldiers,
I would not have been able to see you any more.
Leading soldiers in double formation
And wearing the phoenix helmets,
We gallop on golden stirrups,
Returning in songs of triumph.
Scene Thirty
Zhou Bian Defeated
(Enter the soldiers dispatched by Fourth Prince)
ENEMY SOLDIERS (To the tune of Liuyaoling):
As we are hungry and thirsty in our country,
We’ve come out to seek food and drink.
With vine armors and wood weapons,
Having crossed the eastern ravine,
We are heading for Nanke County.
Can River Town stop the river and our troops?
Warriors! Now listen! The Fourth Prince of the State of Sandals and Vines is attacking the Jade Terrace and he has ordered our troops to attack River Town. Let’s march on to Nanke County! Here we are at River Town. Let’s rush at it!
(Enter the garrison soldiers)
GARRISON SOLDIERS (To the previous tune):
The beacon fire has been lit in the south,
And is passing on to Nanke.
What is the Magistrate’s defense scheme?
Ah!
Those approaching
Are the troops from the State of Sandals and Vines.
Which general will come to defend River Town?
We are garrison soldiers in River Town. Brothers, the enemy troops have come with overwhelming force, yet the general in charge of the defense has not turned up yet. We have to go on patrol on the city wall by ourselves.
(Enter Zhou Bian, followed by soldiers)
ZHOU BIAN (To the previous tune):
A war has started
With the State of Sandals and Vines.
Five thousand soldiers have left Nanke County,
Hurrying forward in hunger and thirst,
And crossing hills and dales,
Expecting a drinking spree in River Town.
(The garrison soldiers greet Zhou Bian and his men)
ZHOU BIAN:
Finally we’ve reached the destination.
SOLDIERS:
Liquor should be ready in River Town.
ZHOU BIAN:
We are thirsty. We are thirsty.
SOLDIERS:
Yes, we are thirsty, general.
ZHOU BIAN:
Garrison general, has the liquor prepared by the Director of Farming Affairs been brought
here?
GARRISON SOLDIERS (Respond):
Yes. Every soldier will have one jar of liquor, with five thousand jars for the five thousand soldiers. We have strong liquor, light liquor and the genuine Nanjing white spirit in small bottles. General, which do you prefer, the strong one or the light one?
ZHOU BIAN:
Half light wine and half high strong liquor. The blended liquor can be named “harmony of fire and water”. Now bring the liquor and pile up the jars at the city gate of River Town!
(Enter the soldiers with the liquor)
SOLDIERS:
Let us count the jars!
One, two, three hundred,
Two plus three will be five hundred.
Five hundred times five and another two hundred,
Plus five hundred times two and another five hundred.
ZHOU BIAN:
Blend the five thousand jars and drink to your heart’s content! Then throw the jars onto the battlefield! You’ll take the light liquor and I’ll have the strong liquor. There is no limit to how much we drink. We’ll drink till our thirst is satiated.
SOLDIERS (Drink):
We are still thirsty.
(Throw away the jars)
ZHOU BIAN:
I’m always fond of drinking. Just because of the magistrate’s restrictions, I abstain from drinking for fear of breaking the regulations for government officials. Now finally it is time for me to manifest my drinking capacity.
(Drinks)
(The soldiers get drunk)
(Drums within)
VOICE WITHIN:
Report! The enemy troops are at the town gate.
ZHOU BIAN:
Let them be and go on drinking!
(Urgent drums within)
VOICE WITHIN:
Report! Report! The enemy vanguard is challenging us to a fight.
ZHOU BIAN (Annoyed):
How disgusting this guy is! While I’m at the height of my drinking bout, he comes to cause trouble. Soldiers, charge outside the town under the aftereffect of the liquor!
(Soldiers respond)
ZHOU BIAN:
Flushed with drink, I look like Lord Guan,
Who killed Hua Xiong while the wine was still warm.
(Exit)
(Enter the enemy soldiers, singing)
ENEMY SOLDIERS:
Warriors! Break into River Town!
(Enter Zhou Bian, followed by soldiers)
ZHOU BIAN:
Aren’t you bandits from the State of Sandals and Vines?
(They fight)
(Being drunk, Zhou Bian and his soldiers are defeated)
(Exeunt the enemy soldiers, in a chase)
(Enter Zhou Bian in a hurry)
ZHOU BIAN:
Soldiers, bring me another vessel of strong liquor! I am thirsty after the fight.
(The soldiers bring the liquor)
(Zhou drinks)
(Enter the enemy soldiers)
ENEMY SOLDIERS:
The liquor over there is mellow and delicious. Let’s go and grab it!
(They fight again)
(Zhou Bian and his soldiers are defeated again)
(Enter Zhou Bian alone)
ZHOU BIAN:
Ouch, the enemy soldiers are ferocious. So I have to admit defeat for this battle. It’s hot and getting late. I’ll take off my armor, and go back on horseback by myself in the bright moonlight.
(Exit)
(Enter an enemy soldier)
ENEMY SOLDIER:
Well, well, well, this time we’ll race all the way to take Nanke County.
(Stumbles)
Ouch, why have I stumbled? The scent of the liquor fills in the air, and the spilt liquor is dotted all over the ground. So it is the thousands of jars piled at the gate that stand in our way.
(Looks at
the sky)
In this weather, it will surely rain. The river will rise and block our way back. We might take the liquor left and return in triumph.
(To the previous tune)
With the banners and pennants fluttering in the wind,
Drums and gongs are beaten for the victorious army.
We laugh over the hills of meat and ponds of wine,
Oh we gabble!
Oh we jabber!
Our triumphant return from Nanke will be celebrated.
With thousands of soldiers lost in Nanke,
Only the jars still give off a whiff of odor.
Drink while you can,
And forgive while you may!
Scene Thirty-One
Zhou Bian Detained
(Enter Chunyu Fen, followed by attendants)
CHUNYU FEN (To the tune of Santailing):
I’ve been devising strategies all year round,
But am troubled by worries these days.
It is easy job to annihilate the enemy from Sandals and Vines,
But why aren’t there banners and flags of victory on the way?
(In the pattern of Collected Tang Poems)
“On hearing the drumbeats at the city gate,
I keep the expedition to the south in mind.
Who knows why one night alone in the hall
Should have added white hairs to my head?”
I am Chunyu Fen. I’ve garrisoned Nanke County for many years, with my fame of military exploits spreading far and wide. The Princess has stayed in the Jade Terrace to shelter from the heat and met trouble; fortunately, the siege by the State of Sandals and Vines has been lifted. Still I’m worried about River Town, where I’ve sent Zhou Bian to its rescue. I’ve been looking forward to news of victory, and I’ve asked the Director of Farming Affairs to arrange a banquet at the Departure Pavilion for Zhou Bian on his return from the expedition. Mr. Zhou should have arrived early.
(Enter Tian Zihua)
TIAN ZIHUA (To the previous tune):
The welcome banquet is decorated with flowers,
The wine banners having replaced the battle flags.
While the joyous atmosphere is so overwhelming,
Who knows where the victory goes?
(Greets Chunyu Fen)
TIAN ZIHUA:
“Your Highness has a wonderful foresight,
CHUNYU FEN:
But your assistance has been indispensable.
TIAN ZIHUA:
Now that wine is ready for celebrations,
CHUNYU FEN:
Let’s wait for the frontier news.”
Mr. Tian, several days have passed since the war started, but there is no report of success yet. I can’t help feeling worried and suspicious.
TIAN ZIHUA:
For one thing, His Majesty enjoys boundless blessing; for another, Your Highness is awe-inspiring; for the third thing, Zhou Bian is brave and skillful in battle. Our troops are bound to return in triumph.
(Enter the scout)
SCOUT:
“The territory is hard to defend,
With each bush and tree like an enemy soldier.”
Report! General Zhou Bian has returned on horseback alone.
CHUNYU FEN:
Mr. Zhou has returned first, which means that most probably he’s won. Tell the music players to start!
(Drums and trumpets from within)
(Enter Zhou Bian on horseback, with headscarf on, in a white robe, and carrying a sword)
ZHOU BIAN (To the tune of Northern Zuihuayin):
On horseback alone, I hate the greetings
To none but me and a horse.
Fleeing with soaring dust above my head,
I see the drums beating and flags waving
And hear the welcoming songs in the distance.
(Looks)
His Highness the magistrate and the Director of Farming Affairs have prepared a banquet at the Departure Pavilion. Alas,
They think I am galloping back in triumph,
Ready to congratulate me in due respect.
(Greets Chunyu Fen)
Your Highness!
CHUNYU FEN:
Ah, now that you’ve returned a victor, I’ve prepared a feast of celebration together with my fellow officials.
ZHOU BIAN:
Thanks! Give me the wine at once!
CHUNYU FEN (To the tune of Southern Huameixu):
Seeing stars in the cups,
I’m shocked to see horror in his eyes.
He went to war in gold-threaded armor,
But why is he baring his back now,
Without armor or helmet?
The whole thing about him rouses my suspicion;
Why is he returning all alone if he has won?
TIAN ZIHUA:
To be frank with you, Your Highness, there is indeed something suspicious about Director Zhou.
ALL:
Why are there no festival atmospheres?
We have to obtain further news.
ZHOU BIAN (To the tune Northern Xiqianying):
Why am I baring my back now?
Because I cheered the troops in hot weather.
For ill luck,
With no one to help me,
I was encircled by the bandit troops.
CHUNYU FEN:
Oh, encircled? How did you break through the encirclement?
ZHOU BIAN:
In breaking through the encirclement,
But for my excellent martial skill,
I would have lost my life and all.
CHUNYU FEN:
In that case, you were defeated, but you are still talking about liquor. Let me ask you,
(To the tune of Southern Huameixu)
When we deploy the troops the other day,
You had five thousand soldiers with you.
They were all able to fend the spears
And evade the arrows.
Why do I see no one come back with you?
You are safe by yourself,
But where are the others?
ALL:
Why are there no festival atmospheres?
We have to obtain further news.
ZHOU BIAN:
I saw them when these five thousand men went with me.
(To the tune of Northern Chuduizi)
I was assigned five thousand men,
And they were all there at roll-call.
CHUNYU FEN:
Did they show up in the battlefield?
ZHOU BIAN:
They were there during the battle, but I didn’t know where they were after the battle.
TIAN ZIHUA:
Were they killed by the soldiers from Sandals and Vines?
ZHOU BIAN:
It’s hard to say.
CHUNYU FEN:
Where are their heads?
ZHOU BIAN:
Ending up alone in grief,
Am I to pay for the five thousand heads?
Oh,
I cannot even pay for five thousand clay-heads.
CHUNYU FEN:
I’m talking about human heads, but he’s talking about clay-heads. What do you mean? I won’t listen to you, but I’ll act in accordance with military disciplines. I’ll have you executed first and report to His Majesty later.
ZHOU BIAN:
Who dares!
CHUNYU FEN (Annoyed):
As a defeated general, dare you to flaunt your abilities?
(To the tune of Southern Diliuzi)
A defeated general,
A defeated general
Saves his life but does harm to the state.
According to the military disciplines,
According to the military disciplines,
You are not to be pardoned;
You should be executed.
Attendants, follow my order
To have him tied up
And beheaded
So as to set an example for others.
(The attendants with swords try to tie u
p Zhou Bian)
ZHOU BIAN (Refuses to obey):
(To the tune of Northern Guadifeng)
Alas,
All of a sudden,
He changed face in a rage,
Forgetting the friendship between sworn brothers.
As Royal Son-in-Law in the State of Peaceful Locust,
You abuse your power to bully your subordinates.
You are a member of the royal family,
But I am not from a humble family.
CHUNYU FEN:
Have him beheaded!
ZHOU BIAN (Sneers):
I fought my way through the encirclement,
Returning with my head on my neck.
As you are wagging your tongue at will,
Applying the military discipline on me,
How can I obey your order?
“Beheading” is not the word for me.
CHUNYU FEN:
As the commander, don’t I have the right to behead you? Executioners! Tie him up!
TIAN ZIHUA:
Your Highness, have a second thought!
(To the tune of Southern Didijin)
A bosom friend from your native land,
He comes to the ant-land for your sake
And is appointed to station in Nanke country.
At your recommendation,
He is promoted to be the commander-in-chief.
Considering his merits in the past,
You should think before you act
And not make a rash decision.
CHUNYU FEN:
In that case, I’ll ask him again. Zhou Bian, how did you commit the crime of losing the battle?
ZHOU BIAN:
Neither I nor the five thousand soldiers are to blame. Your five thousand jars of liquor are to blame. When they were thirsty, they drank the liquor and got drunk. At the report of challenge by the soldiers of Sandals and Vines, their limbs were all limp. As the only good drinker, I went to the battle alone. Fighting single-handedly, I had to drop the weapons and flee by night. If you don’t believe me, a poem will prove the point.
“Winter and summer, spring and autumn,
The sun sets at dusk and the river flows to the east.
Where is the general with his steed?
Woe permeates the flowers and the weed.”
It’s all the fault of the five thousand jars of liquor.
(To the tune of Northern Simenzi)
You should not have prepared the wine,
The unfiltered wine mixed with narcotics.
The limp legs could hardly move;
The weak arms could hardly lift the swords.
CHUNYU FEN:
In that case, how could they fight?
ZHOU BIAN:
Of course not.
CHUNYU FEN:
Then, the soldiers from Sandals and Vines will march on toward River Town across the river.
ZHOU BIAN: