Andre the Giant

by Michael Krugman

  Heenan ignores Vince and proceeds. “You want a fair shot? It’s simple. We don’t need no John Studd. We don’t need anybody! If you are man enough, scum, if you are man enough, you wouldn’t have to bring a bag! You wouldn’t have to bring some poisonous reptile to the ring! If you had one little bit of wrestling ability, if you had it down here, you’d get in the ring with this athlete! But no, you wanna bring some poisonous snake into the ring! So fine! Then we’re gonna have to handle matters our way! And you know our way is the only way we handle things!”

  “Mr. Heenan,” says Vince, “Big John Studd is the guest referee. He will be impartial—”

  “Oh, yeah, McMahon. He’ll be impartial. He used to be a member of the Family, until he got stupid! You think he’s gonna give me a fair shake? You think he’s gonna give him a fair shake?”

  “That’s not fair,” André rants. “It’s two against one!”

  “Intimidation has always been the key,” notes Roberts as Studd comes to the platform. “You intimidate by size, and I intimidate by the snake.”

  Studd stands between the podiums, and Heenan lights into him. “You don’t belong out here! Get outta here and leave now! You hear me!”

  “A comment, please, from the guest official, the guest referee in this matchup. John Studd.”

  “I’m Big John Studd! I can’t be pushed, I can’t be shoved, and I can’t be intimidated! And when I step over that top rope, the referee in one of the most important matches in the world, I will be impartial! You won’t shove me—”

  “I will tell you one thing,” André says, getting into his longtime nemesis’s face. “You come in that ring and you better do your job! Because I come down that way to put him down, and you better count one, two, and three!”

  “When I step in that ring, I’ll do my job and both of you do your job, and I’ll be the referee and I’ll raise, I’ll raise the winner’s hand! Do you understand?”

  “A parting word from Jake ‘The Snake,’ please,” asks Vince.

  “I’m gonna have one helluva night come Sunday, April 2, my man. All I want is you!”

  “WrestleMania V will be the last time you put your feet in that ring,” growls the Giant. “That be your last time!”

  “Gentlemen, thank you very much. Thank you very much. Best of luck to André the Giant, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan—”

  “Tell you what, André,” Roberts says. “Don’t leave just yet, okay. I wanna give you a little good-bye present.”

  He reaches for the snake. André grabs the podium to protect himself and walks off the platform, escaping just as Damien is loosed.

  February 16, 1989: Hershey Park Arena, Hershey, PA

  SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT: RICK RUDE VS. BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE

  “Ravishing Rick” Rude and his manager Bobby Heenan take on Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake in a match to establish Beefcake as the official barber of World Wrestling Federation. “Will that position be permanent,” asks Mean Gene, “or will Booby Heenan and Rick Rude see that it’s a washout?”

  Beefcake and Rude battle back and forth until at 4:10, André arrives. He chats with Heenan. Though Beefcake is distracted by the Giant, he catches Rude in an inverted atomic drop, his knee right in the chin of the Ultimate Warrior (emblazoned on the rear of Rude’s tights). He whips Rude into the corner, but the Ravishing One gets a boot up, and Beefcake goes down.

  “I don’t know why André the Giant is out at ringside,” wonders Vince McMahon. “He has no business being there.”

  “Why?” responds Jesse Ventura. “He’s a member of the Heenan Family. That gives him business to be at ringside. The Heenan Family is very close. Lookit, he’s not doing anything.”

  Rude tosses Beefcake through the ropes to the floor. André smiles and hits three sit-downs on Beefcake’s back, then lifts him erect to choke him out. Heenan watches from the steel steps, grinning and clapping gleefully. Rude distracts referee Dave Hebner as André squeezes Beefcake’s breath out.

  The crowd pops for Jake “The Snake” Roberts’s arrival with Damien. André sees Roberts and his sack and releases Beefcake. Rude drops an elbow from the apron, directly between Roberts’s shoulders as Jake tries to free Damien. Rude rolls Jake into the ring and begins punching away. Hebner calls for the bell at 5:45.

  André climbs in and catches Roberts, holding his arms wide open for a beatdown by Rude. He turns him around and headbutts him, Rude now taking hold of the Snake’s arms. André chops and chokes, Rude punching at Roberts’s midsection. André grips the Snake’s throat while Rude rakes his eyes. Beefcake gets back in and pulls Rude off, though André keeps pushing Roberts’s throat into the top rope.

  Beefcake clotheslines Rude over the top, and then tries to stop André with shots to his big back. An annoyed André turns and chops at Beefcake, taking him down with a headbutt. With a boot, he rolls Roberts off the apron and chops and chokes Beefcake, a wide grin across his face.

  Heenan’s jaw drops as Big John Studd saunters down the aisle. Studd enters the ring. André lets go of Beefcake and turns to face him. The two giants stare each other down. From the outside, Jake pitches Damien between the two big men. André bolts out of the ring, grabbing onto Rude for support.

  February 16, 1989: Hershey Park Arena, Hershey, PA

  “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND INTERVIEWS ANDRÉ AND HEENAN

  Mean Gene begins by saying, “Bobby Heenan, as manager for André, I’ve got to tell you, Big John Studd is going to be the special guest referee.”

  “Well, I don’t like the idea of Big John Studd being involved in anything to do with Family business,” the Brain says, resplendent in a gold-sequined bow tie. “He’s a deserter, he’s a turncoat, and he’s an ingrate.”

  “He fired you,” Okerlund notes.

  “He didn’t fire me—mind your own business. And if he gets out of line in any way, just like Jake ‘The Snake,’ they’re gonna have to answer to André the Giant.”

  The Giant wraps his ham hocks around the Snake.

  “André, I know it’s a sensitive subject with you. Many say that you suffer from the fear of snakes.”

  “’Scuse me?” glowers André.

  “A-a-are you afraid of snakes?” rephrases Mean Gene as André threatens him backward. “Ophidiophobia?”

  André points a big finger in the face of the tuxedoed announcer. “I’m gonna tell you, don’t mention that word! But just one thing I want to talk about. If John Studd gonna be in that ring as referee, they gonna try to hurt me, but believe me, I never lost a match in my life, I’m still undefeated, and that’s the way WrestleMania V’s gonna be! For me, I will stay undefeated, because Jake, I will put you down. You maybe need the help from John Studd, but he don’t scare me at all. Because I will choke the you-know-what outta him, ha ha ha ha!”

  “Now wait a minute. John Studd’s gonna be the referee. He’s not gonna help Jake Roberts.”

  “I don’t trust John Studd,” Heenan says. “I don’t trust anybody. And he better not try to help him. But Mr. Roberts, you’re gonna need all the help you can find. You better bring five hundred bags, ’cause, pal, you get in the way of André the Giant, you come to the ring with that serpent in the bag, and if John Studd gets in our way at Wrestle-Mania V, I cannot be responsible for any of ’em.”

  “What happens, gentlemen, if that snake, Damien, gets out of the bag?” asks Mean Gene, cowering as André raises a huge hand at the mention of his slithering bête noir.

  “I just promise you one thing,” avows André, turning to the camera. “Jake, that will be your last match. WrestleMania V will be your last match!”

  April 1989

  “A GIANT PROBLEM: JAKE MUST PLAN A STRATEGY TO DEAL WITH ANDRÉ THE GIANT”

  Since Jake and André are fated to meet in a confrontation in Wrestle-Mania V, the Giant and his manager, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, have a problem. Just the fact that Damien is there in the bag, lying in

  Jake Roberts feels André’s wrath.


  Jake’s corner, could so unnerve André he might end up being easy pickings for Roberts. If Jake actually produced Damien out of the bag, André would be finished.

  So, what are Heenan and André to do? Jesse “The Body” Ventura recently had some advice for them. “If Bobby Heenan can take care of Damien, then André will take care of Jake.”

  The prospect delights André and Heenan. “Oh, it would be good, Roberts,” bellows André. “No Damien means no Jake Roberts.”

  “You see, Jake Roberts,” spits the Brain, “all that it would take is for Damien to be missing for a while, and you’d be finished. You wouldn’t be man enough to face André, the biggest, most destructive person in the world. Without Damien, peon, you’d just slither away like the creep you are.”

  “Ya see, André,” says the Snake, “some people are afraid of things like empty houses. Some people are afraid of hard work. And some people, like you, are afraid of snakes. But you are more afraid than most. You pass out cold. I think your fear goes deeper than Damien. Because, deep down in your gut, you know I can take you out, big man.”

  The DDT is what Roberts relies on to finish off opponents. But applying it on André is not like applying it on any other wrestler. To make the maneuver work, Jake would have to get André in a front facelock. Given the Giant’s overwhelming advantage in bulk and height, plus his awesome strength, facelocking him is a nearly impossible task.

  All the while, moreover, Jake would have to keep out of the Giant’s gargantuan grasp and stay away from his sledgehammer blows. If André managed to corner Jake, he would be battered by mighty fists and could end up in the crush of a titanic bearhug. Roberts could also be nailed by a Giant headbutt, which would certainly mean lights out.

  “I would love to see the look on Jake Roberts’s face if he were to meet André the Giant in the ring without that miserable serpent, Damien,” shouts Heenan. “If President Jack Tunney weren’t such a pushover, maybe Damien wouldn’t even be around in the first place. But, Roberts, I have to say it. I am not going to be held responsible for what André the Giant does to you. I refuse to pay any of your medical bills. In other words, Roberts, you have just dug your own grave, pal!”

  April 2, 1989: Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino, Atlantic City, NJ

  WRESTLEMANIA V: THE MEGA POWERS EXPLODE ANDRÉ VS. JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS W/SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE BIG JOHN STUDD

  Studd comes to the ring, followed by André and Heenan. “No love lost between these two,” notes Gorilla Monsoon as the two big men point angry fingers in each other’s faces.

  Jake comes out and places Damien in the corner. André grabs Roberts immediately, pounding his head into the buckle as the bell sounds. Jake grabs his head in pain, and it is revealed that the turnbuckle pad has been removed. André punches and chops, driving Jake down to the mat. Standing over the Snake, André drives his knee into Roberts’s chest.

  Lifting Jake by his hair, André wraps his big arms around for a facelock. Jake elbows his way out and forces André back against the ropes. He stuns the Giant with blows to the breadbasket, then rushes across the ring for Damien.

  André is right behind him. He gets his arms around Roberts’s neck and begins choking. Jake reaches up and back, gripping André’s hair hard enough to make the Giant wince. André releases his hold, hitting a forearm to Jake’s kidneys. Roberts returns fire, punching away at André’s big belly, to little effect. After a big right from André, Jake swings wildly and falls backward toward his snake sack.

  The Giant catches him by the hair and chops him toward the far corner, where he leans back and squashes the Snake. When Studd demands a break, André pulls a few inches away, and then laughingly falls back against Roberts. Studd counts, but André just drives his butt back into his flattened foe. He turns and wraps what Gorilla lovingly calls his “two ham hocks” around Roberts’s throat, releasing the choke as Studd’s count reaches four. He repeats the choke three times, finally chopping Roberts hard, and then goes to the ropes to confer with Heenan.

  He returns to Roberts, who is down on the canvas, and drops a big butt on the Snake’s chest. Jake reels toward the apron. André takes hold of the top rope and stands his full weight on Roberts’s rib cage. The Giant laughs as Jake reaches up, begging off. André takes the wrist and lifts Roberts up, pushing him back against the exposed metal where the buckle pad should be.

  Jake fires back, with chops, kicks, and punches. He shoots off the ropes and nails a clothesline, felling André, who gets tied up in the ropes. Studd, incidentally, doesn’t even try to free him, as is the referee’s role. Jake wraps his hand around André’s throat, choking him as he springs back and forth in the ropes. He points toward Damien, but Studd tells him no, blocking his path. Roberts punches away at the trapped Giant’s head, injuring his fist on André’s epic skull.

  At last Heenan frees one of André’s arms, and he reaches out and catches Roberts by the throat. He powers Jake down, pushing him into his knee. A headbutt drops the Snake, and André demands that Studd begins to count him out. Jake gets to his knees and André grabs him by the traps. Jake gets to his feet, but André headbutts him between the shoulders, putting him right back down.

  André chops him to the corner with the exposed turnbuckle and shoulderblocks him repeatedly. A knee catches the Giant in the sternum, and he rocks backward, falling to one knee against the ropes. The Snake gets some momentum, chopping and punching, then smashing André’s head into the steel.

  Though André is down, he still has enough left to drive a fist into Roberts’s gut, doubling him over before he can get any offense going. André pulls himself up by the ropes and chops at the Snake, sending him out through the ropes.

  Studd begins to count. Roberts climbs up to the apron, but André knocks him back down with his huge chest. Jake returns to the apron, where André headbutts him. Roberts grabs the top rope, but can’t regain his balance and falls down to the mats. Studd reprimands André for not letting Jake into the ring, but André puts his hands on his hips and argues.

  Meanwhile, Roberts is heading toward Damien. Heenan tries to get André’s attention, but the Giant is deep in debate with Studd. Roberts comes up the steps holding the bag, but Studd is there to stop him. André shoves the ref from behind. Studd turns and shoves back, rocking André toward the other side of the ring. Heenan waves toward the back, and Ted DiBiase and Virgil run in to make the assist. DiBiase sucker-punches Roberts off the steps and steals away up the aisle with Damien. Roberts pursues, leaving André and Studd alone in the ring. Roberts and DiBiase go at it in the aisle, while André tries to choke out Studd, headbutting him between the shoulders over and over.

  In the interim, Jake has retrieved Damien, and he unties the sack as he approaches the ring. André is choking Studd with his singlet strap when Damien is tossed into the ring. With a look of horror, André lets Studd free and escapes the ring. Studd calls for the bell, DQing André at 9:44.

  TED DIBIASE: “Me coming out and stealing the snake, that was what set up my program with Jake. And then I wrestled him a year later at the next WrestleMania. It was a lot simpler then. I come out and steal a snake at WrestleMania V, and we have a program for a year.”

  The Brain and the Giant.

  14

  WrestleMania V marked the blow-off of André’s program with Jake “The Snake” Roberts, while kickstarting the Giant’s feud with Big John Studd. André’s limitations often precluded him from regular wrestling. As a result, he became a featured player in his own storyline. This is where André’s membership in the Heenan Family proved most useful. The manager’s stable of heels— including Rick Rude and the Brain Busters, Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard—provided a ready roster of wrestlers who could give cover to the Giant’s diminishing role in the ring. In turn, it united André into lower-card storylines, giving high-profile bump to a second angle.

  BOBBY HEENAN: “André was pretty much crippled up by the end. I used to help him to the ring, he would put his hands on
my shoulders to get up the stairs to the ring—I used to be six foot nine, you know, until he put his hands on me. At the end of the match, if André was down and couldn’t get up quickly, I would take bumps from whomever—‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, Warrior—and get the crowd pumped.”

  While they had few televised one-on-one matches, André and Studd wrestled frequently at house shows, usually culminating in a DQ finish thanks to interference from Heenan Family member Haku. Once part of the Heenan-managed tag team the Islanders, Haku had earlier crowned himself “King” of World Wrestling Federation, adopting the crown vacated by an injured Harley Race. However, Jim Duggan—an erstwhile rival of André’s— had his eye on the throne as well.

  The storylines collided in the weeks after WrestleMania V, as André and Heenan fumed about their mistreatment at the hands of Special Referee Studd.

  March 7, 1989: Convention Center, El Paso, TX

  “André the Giant,” begins Studd, “when we met in WrestleMania V, in the center of the ring, and our eyes locked, the whole world could see that Big John Studd is every bit of a giant as you are. And when I looked in your eyes, André, I saw you flicker. I saw you start to flinch. I saw you feel that the legend of André the Giant is threatened. And when I turned my back and you grabbed me and you choked me down, that told me what kind of giant you are. That told me you’re a giant with a real big yellow streak running down the center of your back. And when we meet, André—and we will meet in the center of the ring—I will pick you up, all five hundred pounds of you, and slam you to the center of the ring, André. And then I’ll cover you, and it will be one-two-three! That’s the end of the legend of André the Giant!”

  April 5, 1989: War Memorial, Syracuse, NY