Andre the Giant

by Michael Krugman

  RIC FLAIR: “When André got older, he got grumpy. He never got any peace. André was the most well-known sports celebrity in the world. Everyone knew him. He never had any peace, and that’s what killed him. Never a day off.”

  By mid-1989, André was in very bad shape, barely walking other than when in the ring. He used a wheelchair to get from hotel to car to arena. His balance was so poor, he was forced to hold on to the ropes just to stay standing.

  “The worse he got, the more he drank,” Hulk Hogan wrote in his autobiography. “You could tell because he smelled of alcohol, and he was always unhappy when you talked to him. He was in a lot of pain. There was just nowhere the guy could be comfortable, especially now that he was crippled and hurt. His life was just miserable.”

  JACK BRISCO: “It was hard for me to watch him. I just felt so bad for him. It was so hard to see him in that kind of pain, the way he was struggling to get around. He tried to cover it all he could. He never would admit that it was bothering him. He didn’t want anybody feeling sorry for him.”

  TIM WHITE: “Just from refereeing, I’ve had both knees done, six shoulder operations. Now magnify that by ten or twenty times because of his size. Doing it as many years as he did, the body just breaks down. But the main thing was, he kept growing, so his spinal canal started closing as his girth got bigger and he got thicker and wider. It just started putting a lot of pressure on the spine, it was killing nerves and stuff all the way to his feet.

  “At the very end, I was pushing him in a wheelchair through the airport, and I felt bad for him. He shouldn’t be seen like this. I love the guy so much, I just felt bad that he was in so much pain and people were seeing him being wheeled by in a wheelchair.”

  Nevertheless, André was not yet ready to retire, so he paired up with Haku as the Heenan-managed Colossal Connection.

  Haku—born Tonga Fifita on the South Pacific island of Tonga—began his career by studying sumo in Japan, but eventually turned to puroresu and All Japan Pro Wrestling. He spent the early 1980s wrestling in Montreal for Frank Valois before joining World Wrestling Federation in 1985. Upon teaming with the Tonga Kid as the Islanders, he adopted the name Haku. The Islanders split up after failing repeatedly to win the Tag Team titles, and Haku embarked on a singles career. As managed by Heenan, he usurped the crown from King Harley Race and feuded briefly with Jim Duggan and Hulk Hogan.

  With a reputation as one of the toughest men in the business—he once bit the nose off a bar patron who mocked wrestling as “fake”—Haku was an ideal tag team partner for André.

  HOWARD FINKEL: “André certainly was on the decline, so he needed Haku badly as a partner. I think by that time fans might have sensed that André’s skills were starting to decline and deteriorate. His in-ring presence was always there, but his skills were limited at best.”

  The Colossal Connection was in part created to fill the void in the Heenan Family left by the departing Brain Busters, Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard. As the stable’s official tag team, André & Haku were in the championship hunt from the start, feuding immediately with the current title holders, Demolition.

  The hottest tag team in the division, Demolition was comprised of Barry “Smash” Darsow and Bill “Ax” Eadie, André’s former partner in the Machines. Blackclad and facepainted, Demolition had been dominant figures in World Wrestling Federation since their debut in 1987, known for their aggressive style and bombastic personas.

  The team won the Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania IV, titles they retained for a record-setting 478 days. Demolition may have started out as hard-edged heels, but they proved so popular with the fans they turned babyface by late 1988. Ax & Smash tangled with André at Summer-Slam 1989, as he joined forces with the Twin Towers—Big Boss Man & Akeem (formerly One Man Gang)—in a Six Man Tag match against Demolition & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

  André also contributed to the ultimate end of Ax & Smash’s remarkable championship reign, throwing a steel chair into the ring to assist in Heenan’s Brain Busters Three-Out-of-Five-Falls victory against Demolition on the July 1989 Saturday Night’s Main Event. The program continued, with Demolition regaining the Tag Team titles just a few short months later. When both Anderson and Blanchard left World Wrestling Federation in November, the Colossal Connection essentially picked up right where the Brain Busters left off.

  October 2, 1989: Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

  THE BROTHER LOVE SHOW W/THE COLOSSAL CONNECTION

  “You know, brothers and sisters, there are few men who are rougher or tougher than Brothers Ax and Smash of Demolition. And there are even fewer men who Ax and Smash have ever had to look up to. However, my guests this week are certainly rougher, without a doubt are tougher, and indeed, Brothers Demolition, you will look up to the Eighth Wonder of the World, André the Giant, and Haku!”

  The Colossal Connection takes to the stage and is warmly greeted by Brother Love. “Welcome, Brother Brain.”

  “I’ve got a simple, simple statement to make,” Heenan says with no preamble. “Maybe Ax and Smash, Demolition, are walking around right now with those Tag Team Championships of World Wrestling Federation, which belong to the Heenan Family! But I’m gonna guarantee you something, the titles are coming back, they’re coming back to where they belong! Because with over eight hundred pounds, over seven-foot-five [pointing at André], and this man’s ability [pointing at Haku], there’s no way—no way!—that I can lose!”

  “Yes, indeed, Brother Haku,” Love says, giving Haku the chance to speak to his Samoan fans in his native tongue.

  “And Brother Giant, they will look up to you.”

  “I will tell you something, Demolition. We will see who’s going to be demolished, ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  Brother Love starts to speak, but the Giant pulls the mic back. “I’m not finished! Because right now, Bobby Heenan put the best team in the world ever, and Demolition, you may be strong, you may be tough guys, you show that to everybody, but show that to us. Tell us how strong you are. We love to hear you! We loooooove to hear you, ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  January 1990

  “HEENAN SEEKS THE TAG TEAM BELTS AGAIN: CAN DEMOLITION COPE WITH THE COLOSSAL CONNECTION?”

  by Keith Elliot Greenberg,

  Although [Heenan] is convinced that André and Haku, known as the Colossal Connection, are the most brutal team, the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team belts remain firmly around the waists of Ax and Smash of Demolition.

  “Yes, Ax and Smash happen to be the champions now. But when the Brain tells you that’s only temporary, you’d be wise to take what he says at face value. There isn’t a person alive who knows the company better than I do. I don’t make idle predictions. I know that André and Haku are going to be the next champions. And I know this because they’re the most deadly team around.

  “The reason I paired up two wrestlers as vicious as André and Haku is Demolition’s reputation. I don’t take back any of the negative things I ever said about Ax and Smash, but they’re two tough men to have survived at the top for so long. André and Haku, though— fortunately for me—are tougher. If it weren’t for biased refereeing in his matches against Hogan, André would unquestionably be the champion today. You show me any wrestler he’s ever faced, and I’ll show you a wrestler who knows what it feels like to be squashed into the mat. Haku is an expert in the martial arts and has no taste for sissies in professional wrestling. As rough as Ax and Smash are, they’re two wimps compared with Haku. He could defeat both of them with one hand, while playing Ping-Pong with the other.”

  Supporters of Heenan’s squad say the duo has the advantage due to one seven-foot-four-inch factor: André. “When you go into the ring against André, it’s anything but one-on-one,” says a wrestler who has both teamed with and fought against the Giant and wished to remain anonymous. “You are in a Handicap match. André’s so big and so strong that it’s as if you’re fighting two or three men. And that’s before he loses his temper. When André’s angry, there’s no
safe haven. If you’re unfortunate enough to be in there with him, your only defense is to close your eyes and pray.”

  However, both Ax and Smash have squared off against André before, in singles, tag team bouts, and Battle Royals. They believe he’s as vulnerable as any other contender. “Everyone has his Achilles’ heel,” Ax claims, “and André has several. I think the biggest thing in his favor is intimidation. Some wrestlers just look at him and shiver. Well, you probably know that Smash and I are not just any two wrestlers. When we look at André the Giant, all we see is another victim.”

  Insiders say that Demolition realizes that André is a difficult man for an individual to fell. Therefore, Ax and Smash have been perfecting their brutal and unique teamwork maneuvers, the plan being to quickly overwhelm and vanquish the Giant.

  If too much attention is placed on André, though, Demolition could be conquered by Haku. The coldhearted Polynesian executes his thrust kicks, chops, and flying headbutts deliberately; his goal is not only to strike at will but to maximize the amount of pain. . . .

  Haku has no reservations about taking a firm stance in center ring and duking it out with both of his foes at once. One rumor coming out of the Heenan Family camp is that André plans to wear down both opponents for a fresh and pumped-up Haku, who will step through the ropes and put on a display of devastation.

  “You think André can wear us down?” asks Smash. “We’ll bust him open like a Christmas present. And when Haku starts trying his kicks and other fancy martial arts stuff, we’ll bury him with an all-American beating!”

  In their preoccupation with preparing for men as menacing as André and Haku, Ax and Smash could forget about the threat to their title posed by the smaller, weaker Heenan. While the manager’s athletic abilities are questionable at best, his mind games are notorious. By distracting an opposing wrestler or referee, or slipping a foreign object into the ring, Heenan is an expert at creating a situation that can spell doom for his rivals.

  December 13, 1989: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, AL

  THE COLOSSAL CONNECTION (W/BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN) VS. DEMOLITION FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

  The Colossal Connection is billed as a total weight of 793 pounds. Haku and Smash go at it; Ax goes for André but gets a headbutt to the mat before André goes out to the apron. Smash goes to his corner, leaving Haku in the ring with Ax. Haku kicks and karate chops on Ax’s neck, then lifts him up and chokes him on the top rope. He jerks the rope, popping it into Ax’s throat, bouncing him backward. Haku whips Ax into the ropes and hits an elbow. He picks up the still-reeling Ax, drags him into the corner, and drives his head into André’s.

  “Oh, look at that!” shouts Vince McMahon.

  “Drove him right into the skull, right into the cranium of the Giant,” enthuses Jesse Ventura.

  Ax is loopy, on all fours. A karate chop to the neck and a Haku kick force him closer to the ropes, allowing André to kick him with a big boot while Haku distracts the ref. A forearm to the neck puts Ax into the enemy corner. Haku follows with a chop to the throat. The ref tells Haku that those kinds of shots are off-limits, giving André a moment or two of unfettered choking. Smash runs in to make sure the ref is aware of the double-team efforts, but he is sent back outside.

  The Colossal Connection victorious, December 13, 1989.

  Amid the chaos, André climbs in and throttles Ax in the corner. Smash protests, but the ref doesn’t turn to look. By the time the ref is paying attention, André’s back outside and Haku has taken his place, choking Ax. The ref breaks the choke, and again, André takes advantage with an illegal kick right between Ax’s shoulders. Haku goes back to work. Ax gets a couple of shots in, but Haku rakes his eyes, pulls him in for a backbreaker, and covers for two when Ax kicks out.

  Haku pummels Ax’s back with chops and kicks, stopping occasionally to taunt Smash. André tags in; a big right keeps Ax from gaining his feet. André picks him up and starts choking him from behind, and Ax’s tongue lolls out. He shoves Ax into a corner and batters his belly with shoulderblocks.

  André tags Haku and then leans back onto Ax, crushing him. Haku gets set to charge, André moves, but Ax manages to quickly slip away. Haku goes belly into the post, then down. André pays a visit to Smash’s corner as Ax and Haku crawl on the canvas. Ax reaches for Smash, but Haku gets up and kicks him in the ribs. Haku hits a couple of forearms, and then whips Ax into the turnbuckle. He charges, but Ax gets his elbow up and takes Haku down hard. He tries to reach Smash, but Haku gets up and punches him in the gut. He pushes Ax back toward André. He hits a straight-finger jab to the throat, then attempts a karate chop. Ax ducks and catches the spinning Haku from behind. He lifts Haku for an inverted atomic drop, but in doing so, allows Haku to tag the Giant in.

  André grabs Ax from behind with two fistfuls of hair, then headbutts the back of Ax’s skull. A second butt, and then back to the choking. Smash runs in to make the save. Haku goes after him, but Smash battles him into the corner. The ref breaks it up and brings Smash back to his corner, as André holds Ax’s arms behind his back. Haku plants a crescent kick to Ax’s throat, André drops an elbow, covers for three. Smash tries to pull André off at two, but it’s too late. The Colossal Connection wins the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championships at 4:35.

  André and Haku pose with the title belts, drawing major heat. Smash tends to his fallen partner, but André splits them up with a whack from the title belt. Smash runs out and returns with a chair, nailing André’s back as he climbs out between the ropes.

  December 13, 1989: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, AL

  “I told ya! I told ya! I told ya!” gloats Heenan, surrounded by the new Tag Team Champions. “New World Wrestling Federation Champions, the Colossal Connection!”

  “What a way to start the year!” declares André.

  “What a way to start the year!” agrees Heenan.

  “Happy New Year!” celebrates Haku.

  “Happy New Year!” repeats André, gifting Heenan with the Tag Team Championship belt.

  “Oh, thank you,” says the manager. “Let me take this one too!”

  “We did it!” brags André. “We did it!”

  Winning the Tag Team titles marked a rare event in the Giant’s storied history, his second-ever title victory in World Wrestling Federation. Of course, the purpose of titles is for them to be defended, and a rematch was slated for the upcoming WrestleMania VI. But first, André & Haku and Ax & Smash would meet up in the ring during the annual free-for-all at the Royal Rumble.

  January 21, 1990: Orlando Arena, Orlando, FL

  ROYAL RUMBLE

  André, accompanied by Heenan, enters at number 11. The Warlord goes after him immediately, punching the Giant in the chest, leading him back toward the ropes. Backed up on the ropes, André headbutts the Warlord and tosses him over the top. As André walks around the ring, holding on to the ropes, Warlord’s manager Mr. Fuji gets up on the apron to complain, but Heenan yanks him down. The two argue, with the Brain making clear that his man has taken down Fuji’s man.

  Meanwhile, André is giving Dusty Rhodes and Roddy Piper a noggin knocker, and then pushes his back against a polka-dotted Rhodes in the corner. The Giant grabs Piper and stacks him on top of Dusty. Four shoulderblocks are followed by a brief comeback from Dusty and Roddy, but André quickly gets them both into headlocks. Another noggin knocker sends Dusty reeling to the opposite corner, while André chokes Piper against the turnbuckle. Piper digs his thumbs into André’s eyes as Rhodes returns to the fray, throwing punches at the Giant as the buzzer sounds.

  The Red Rooster runs down, right into Dusty, while André takes a breather in the corner. He then goes for Bret Hart. Meanwhile, Piper eliminates Bad News Brown, who then reaches into the ring and pulls out Piper. They battle up the aisle as André, the Hitman, and the Red Rooster continue in the ring. The buzzer sounds, and Ax runs in, hitting the ring just as André pitches the Rooster over the top. The Giant turns around and i
s immediately set upon by Ax, who pummels him in the corner. Double ax-handles drop André to his knees, allowing Ax to choke him against the middle rope. André gets free and stands in the corner. He kicks a big boot to Ax’s belly. Ax goes down, but André is assaulted by Dusty. Ax and Dusty double-team the Giant, who falls and gets tied up in the ropes. They hit double elbows to the top of André’s head, then a series of straight shots. They signal to the crowd their intent to send the Giant over the top. They free his arms, which turns out to be a strategic mistake. André pops both of his opponents in the midsection, doubling them over and sending them to the corners.

  The clocks ticks down, and Haku comes down and goes right after Ax. He whips him across the ring, slingshotting him into a clothesline. André holds on to the ropes for support, but is able to kick the fallen Ax, then crushing him with a sit-down. He then stands on Ax’s chest, accidentally stepping on Ax’s left hand as he dismounts. Ax gets up, and he and André choke each other in the corner. André gets Ax’s arms behind his back, and Haku throws chops and a crescent kick. Hart grabs Haku and tries a headbutt, but is instead stunned himself by the Samoan’s skull.

  One hand on the ropes, André chops at Ax, leading him to the corner for some shoulderblock as Smash arrives. He, of course, heads right for André, and Demolition begin to double-team the Giant, dropping him to the mat. Haku tries to make the save, but instead receives the wrath of Demolition. They whip him into the ropes and a double clothesline, allowing André a moment or two of rest against the post. Demolition goes for him, but gets a pair of noggin knockers. Dusty tries to get Haku over, but André breaks it up and starts choking the Dream. Dusty pokes André’s eyes to break it up, and the Hitman takes his turn, choking André against the turnbuckle.