by L. A. Casey
“Bran? Can... hear... me... you... Hello?”
“Keela? You’re breakin’ up, babe.”
“Can you hear me?” she asked loudly.
“Yeah,” I said, raising my voice, too. “Sorry, the weather is gettin’ bad up ‘ere. Ryder said a storm is comin’ in.”
“That’s one of the reasons I called,” Keela replied as I turned on our bedroom light. “Heavy rain, thunder and lightnin’, and gale force winds are expected. We’re gettin’ the tail end of Storm Harry that hit the UK last night.”
Well, fuck.
“Hopefully it’ll pass soon,” I said.
“Branna? Can… Me… Branna? Hello?”
“I can’t hear you.”
“Call... later. Hello?”
“Okay, babe. Talk to you later.”
The reception had been so shitty whenever my sister or friends called over the last few days, but it was really bad now that a storm was rolling in. It was another reason I was excited to get home. I couldn’t wait to have a real chat with them without being cut off.
“Ryder!” I hollered when I hung up my phone. “Ryder, quick, come here!”
“Branna?” I heard my husband roar in response. “I’m coming!”
I heard his feet pounding against the floorboards as he ran down the hallway. I jumped when the door to our room flew open and crashed into the wall with a resounding bang.
“What’s wrong?” my husband asked, his eyes wild.
“Aideen had the baby!”
“For fuck’s sake!” He breathed and place his hand on his chest. “You scared the shit out of me. I thought something was wrong with you, Branna.”
Fuck.
I winced. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”
He closed his eyes for a few seconds then reopened them.
“Is Ado and the baby okay?” he asked, dropping his hand to his side. “Everything went like it was supposed to?”
I nodded. “Aideen is doin’ great and so is our new nephew.”
“Another boy?” He laughed, his worry for me easing from his face. “I bet Kane is loving that.”
“I’m sure he is.” I chuckled. “Ring ‘im, I’m sure he’ll want to hear from you. Just don’t be surprised if you get cut off, the storm messed up me call with Keela.”
Ryder did just that. He gave me one more once-over, and when he was sure I was okay, he took out his phone, tapped on the screen, and pressed it against his ear.
“Kane?” he said, smiling wide when his brother answered. “Bro, congratulations to you and Ado. Another boy! I’m so happy for you both.”
Ryder laughed at something Kane said, then replied, “Ah, it could have been worse. You could have almost missed the birth like when Jax was born.”
I could practically hear Kane’s, “Fuck you,” from across the room. I smiled when Ryder laughed once more, but smiled wider when he got very quiet very fast.
“Say that again,” my husband requested. “I think I’m losing you. It sounded like you said his name is Locke Ryder.”
He did say that.
My heart warmed when Ryder began to shuffle a little from side to side.
“Kane, I don’t know what to say other than I’m honoured.”
They spent a minute or two on the phone after that, and when the reception went shitty, Ryder hung up.
He looked at me and said, “They gave him my name.”
“Isn’t that brilliant?”
“Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “Brilliant.”
Butterflies exploded in my stomach when he rubbed his eyes.
“Are you goin’ to cry?” I asked, smiling so wide my cheeks began to hurt.
“No,” he said quickly. “I just have something in my eyes. You were right about it being a little dusty in here.”
“Yeah,” I teased. “It must be the dust because you’d never cry over your little brother given his newborn son your name.”
“Of course not,” my husband countered. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Yep,” I deadpanned. “Not a big deal at all.”
Ryder sniffled and rubbed his eyes again.
“I’m going to the restroom,” he managed to get out before he turned and fled the room.
I covered up my giggles because I knew he was going to unleash his ‘man emotions’ when I wasn’t around. All men were supposed to follow that code, according to the brothers. Never ‘pussy out’ and cry in front of anyone. The Man Bible had a whole chapter on it—or that was what Dominic said anyway. That damn code they lived by would soon change once they all had children, and they watched them grow. I’d bet my life on it.
That evening, when I emerged from my nap—that was really like a six-hour coma—I found Ryder in the kitchen cooking us dinner. He hadn’t spotted me yet, so I quietly walked into the room and simply watched the magnificence that was my husband.
I leaned against the kitchen counter and rubbed my belly when the baby kicked.
“The little one is active today,” I said.
Ryder looked up, smiled, and then rounded the counter to kiss me in greeting.
“Sleep well?” he asked.
“So well,” I purred, shaking out my relaxed limbs.
He chuckled as he moved back to the stove. The baby kicked hard. Again.
“I bet this baby will look like you,” I murmured aloud.
Ryder looked up at me and winked. “We’ll eventually have one that will resemble you more than me, so don’t give up hope.”
I snorted. “How many kids are you plannin’ on us havin’?”
Ryder said, “Five.”
Lord.
I rested my cheek on my hand. “You’re still set on that, huh?”
“Of course,” he said. “I’ve always been set on it.”
I tilted my head to the side. “What if I only want one?”
“Why would you only want one baby?” he asked, his tone sounded baffled.
“Because some people are happy with one,” I stated.
“But will the child be happy?” my husband questioned as he continued to cook our steaks. “An only child is a lonely child.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Our baby has three cousins so far that won’t be much older. He or she will have plenty of interaction with other children.”
“How do you know?” Ryder quizzed as he flipped the steaks that sizzled in the pan. “How do you know that my brothers and the girls won’t move someplace else, and we won’t see them as much?”
My heart began to pound against my chest.
“They won’t move,” I answered.
“You don’t know that,” Ryder said as he sprinkled some seasoning into the pan. “For all we know, they might want to move over the north side of the city or to a different county with better schools for their kids. I doubt they’d stay here just to give our kid some company.”
I never thought of anything like that. I guess I always assumed we would all remain living close to one another. The sudden thought of my sister, friends, and Ryder’s brothers not being nearby didn’t sit well with me, and I was suddenly pissed with Ryder for putting that worry in my head.
I stared at him. “Why are you bein’ so negative about this?”
“I’m not.” He sighed. “I just don’t want you to assume that our niece and nephews will compensate for brothers and sisters to our baby.”
“You’d say mass just so I’ll agree with you on havin’ five kids.”
“What does that even mean?” he questioned.
“It means,” I said firmly, “that you’d say anythin’ to get what you want.”
Ryder snorted, and it was at that moment that I knew he wasn’t going to acquiesce to this no matter what I said, and it was beginning to drive me insane.
“What if I can’t have any more?”
Ryder turned off the stove and served our steaks and sides onto plates.
“That’s crazy talk,” he said, dismissing my question.
“No, i
t’s not,” I stated, not liking that this conversation was quickly turning into an argument. “What if the baby I’m carryin’ is the only one I’ll ever carry? Will he or she not be enough because there are no other siblings?”
Ryder looked up at me and paled. “No, of course not—”
“Then why are you makin’ such a big deal out of this?” I demanded. “Why are you fightin’ me on this? Why do you need four more kids? Why?”
“Branna, listen—”
“No, you listen.” My voice suddenly breaking. “I had me choices taken away from me before, and I refuse to have them taken away again. If I don’t want more kids, then I’m not havin’ more. It’s my body. That’s the end of this conversation!”
I wish I’d spoken with assertiveness and had my head held high, but big fat tears were falling from my eyes, and I was sniffling like crazy. I might have looked like a mess, but I said my piece and got my point across, and that was the important thing.
“Now, if you don’t mind,” I hiccupped. “I’m goin’ outside for some fresh air.”
“Branna, I’m so sor—”
“Don’t be sorry.” I cut him off. “Be mindful of me feelins’ and understandin’ of me decisions. You don’t have to like them, but you damn well better respect them. I’m your wife; your utmost respect should be for me.”
I left the kitchen without waiting for Ryder’s reply and headed outside to the front porch. I shivered the moment I closed the front door behind me. The rain had lessened slightly, but frigid cold nipped at me and caused goose bumps to break out on my flushed skin. My annoyance forced my legs to move, and without realising it, I headed in the direction of the trail Ryder and I had walked on daily. The trees overhead provided some protection against the falling rain.
I only walked a few minutes or so before a noisy squeal got my attention.
I scanned the darkened bush and jumped when I heard the squeal again. I squinted my eyes, and I walked forward. I heard the rush of running water and knew the river was nearby. I pushed through some trees until I came close to the embankment of the river that ran through the forest. It wasn’t full dark outside, but it wouldn’t be long until I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. I knew I needed to go back to the safety of the cabin, but I couldn’t leave the animal that was hurting. I tried to turn around, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me to do so. The screech of pain was louder this time, and I gasped when I found what was making the awful sounds.
“Oh, baby,” I whispered as I stared down at a small rabbit that had somehow got its foot tangled in some plastic that was caught on some fallen branches.
I looked around for something to cut the plastic, but the best thing I could find was a semi-sharp rock.
“Shhh,” I cooed to the rabbit, hoping to offer it some comfort.
I bent down on my knees and took hold of the little being. I tried to apply some strength to keep it still, but it was useless, so I put up with the flying paws and kicking legs as I began to untangle the lengthy piece of plastic from around the animal’s small leg. When nothing could be untangled further, I used the rock to saw through the material until it snapped and the animal was freed.
The rabbit kicked me the second it was free.
“You ungrateful little shite!” I exclaimed.
He began to move away slowly before darting off into the bushes and disappearing.
“You’re welcome, Bugs!” I yelled after it, chuckling a little.
A gust of wind hit my back and caused me to shiver. I placed my dirty hands on my thighs and rubbed them against the fabric of my leggings. I shivered a little as the breeze cut through me, and I flinched when thunder roared across the Heavens. I pushed myself upwards, but before I got a solid footing on the ground, my left foot slipped from underneath me thanks to the soaking wet leaves that scattered my surroundings.
“Branna?” Ryder’s voice called from behind me.
He sounded a bit of a distance away, and I imagined him standing on the front porch of the cabin looking for me.
“Ryder!” I screamed just as I fell forward.
I hit the ground hard, left shoulder first, and then awkwardly and painfully began to slide down the embankment. It all happened rapidly fast. One moment I was falling, then I was airborne, and the next second, I was submerged under a body of freezing water. My eyes were open, but all I could see was mass darkness.
That darkness had hold of me and put up a fight to keep me in its grasp.
Water.
I was underwater.
The cold stabbed my skin like tiny pinpricked needles. Water and debris cloaked me, and what felt like the longest few seconds of my life quickly became the hardest and most painful. I kicked my legs and used my arms to slice through the water in an effort to thrust myself to the surface, but it quickly became apparent that the current had a firm hold and wasn’t letting go anytime soon.
It was then that a fire ignited in the centre of my chest, and almost instantly spread to my aching lungs. It was ironic that being under a pool of ice-cold water awakened a burning fire within me. It was as if I could hear my lungs screaming until it registered in my mind that it wasn’t my lungs screaming, it was me. When my lungs were spent of oxygen, silence wrapped its arms around me, and with the company of the swaying current, it began to lull me to sleep.
I was being swallowed whole by darkness, and I was acutely aware of it.
Ryder took centre stage in my mind. Flashes from the moment I met him were replaced with images from throughout our years together. They flicked through my mind like a high-speed slideshow. It slowed down at our wedding day, and once more, my heart swelled as he made his vows to me, declared his love for me, and later made me his forever. Fast forward to seeing his face when I informed him that he was going to be a father to our baby.
My husband. Our baby. My sister. My family. My life.
I looked upwards and was surprised to see light within the darkness. Each one of those I loved had me using the last of my strength to reach up to the rippled light that shone above me. Something hard struck my palm, so I latched onto it. I felt myself being pulled to a stop as the current rushed around me. I gripped the object and heaved myself upwards, and the second I broke the surface, I began to choke. I coughed, spluttered, and greedily sucked oxygen into my inflamed lungs. I used my free hand to grab what felt like a log or a large tree branch.
I pulled myself onto the bank of the river, I put all of my weight onto the sopping wet log, and just when I was about to breathe a sigh of relief for making it onto solid ground, disaster struck. Literally. I screamed as the log that saved me snapped in two and fell on me. It landed on my left leg and pinned it to the freezing cold, wet, muddy ground.
My heart slammed into my chest, and I began to cry, not being able to believe what had just happened and how bad the situation was that I had found myself in. I felt the pain of a stitch in my side as I continued to breathe heavily, but nothing compared to the sickening feeling that took up residence in my belly.
I placed my hands over my abdomen and said, “Please kick.”
Nothing.
“Please,” I whispered. “Please move for Mammy.”
The baby had kicked not ten minutes ago inside the cabin, but I had a stomach churning feeling that something could be wrong after what had just happened to me. I looked up at the starlit sky as I cried.
“Please, God,” I pleaded. “Don’t take me baby from me.”
I expected only silence, but faintly, I heard a familiar voice call out... my name.
Ryder.
“Help me!” I shouted.
I heard his voice get louder, and I heard the rustle of branches and the snap of twigs.
“Branna!”
Oh, thank God.
“Ryder!” I screamed with relief. “I’m down here!”
“Keep talking to me,” he shouted as heavy rain began to fall. “I can’t see a damn thing.”
It had gotten considerably darker in
just a few minutes and made it almost impossible to make out anything against the darkened bush.
“I’m stuck,” I called out to him. “I fell do-down the bank and into the wa-water. I got out of the water, but when I pu-pulled meself out, the branch I used as an an-anchor broke free and fell on me leg. It’s too he-heavy to move, and the water is risin’.”
It was rising fast.
The hard rain that had fallen for the last thirty minutes was too much for the small river to contain, resulting in it rushing over the banks.
“Are you hurt bad?” Ryder asked; panic laced around his words as he neared me.
“I’m okay, I th-think,” I said through chattering teeth. “It’s just me leg that hu-hurts.”
I heard him curse a few times, and I screamed when something squeaked and ran over my legs.
“What is it?” Ryder shouted.
“A rat,” I cried out. “Oh, God, I think a rat ju-just ran ov-over me legs!”
I was terrified of rats.
“I’m coming, baby, I’m coming.”
Ten seconds later, I heard the bushes next to me rustle before my husband pushed through them.
“Bran,” he breathed, a sigh of relief escaping him as he dropped to his knees next to me.
He felt down my body until his hands encountered the log that pinned me. He got to his feet, bent down, gripped the log, and with a grunt, he lifted it enough that I could pull my leg free. It throbbed with pain, but I could bend my knee, and that removed any lingering fear that it may have been broken.
“Ryder,” I said, gaining his attention. “I haven’t felt the baby move si-since I left the ho-house. I don’t know how long I was un-under the water for.”
I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I heard his sharp intake of breath.
“The hospital,” he breathed. “We’ll go back to the cabin, get you dry and warm, and then we’ll drive to the hospital. We’ll make it there in a few hours, okay?”