by L. A. Casey
“Okay,” I replied, still crying.
Ryder’s hold on me tightened. “He’s okay.”
Sobs wracked through me.
“What if he’s not?” I asked, using a gender term for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. “What if I’ve ki-killed ‘im? Oh, God, he ca-can’t be dead, Ryder. He ca-can’t be.”
“He. Is. Okay,” my husband said firmly as he bent down and lifted me into his arms bridal style.
It didn’t take very long for us to get back to the cabin, and the heat that hit me upon entering the haven was like Heaven.
“We ne-need to g-go,” I demanded as we entered the bathroom.
Ryder stripped me of my wet clothes and put me in the shower. Without warning, he turned on the water. I gasped with shock and pressed my body to his. The water felt boiling hot, and my skin screamed in protest.
“Too hot!” I screeched.
Ryder held me in place.
“It’s lukewarm,” he assured me. “Just give your body a chance to get used to it. We need to get your temperature up before I get you dry, baby. The last thing you need is a fever.”
I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. My limbs were still shaking of their own accord, but the water did begin to feel beautifully warm instead of shockingly hot, and my body almost instantly relaxed.
“No,” Ryder suddenly snapped and shook me. “Stay awake. Move your arms and legs around to generate heat.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whimpered and tried to do as he asked.
My husband squeezed me tightly. “Stop. It’s fine. You’re fine, the baby is fine. Everything is fine.”
Everything wasn’t fine, and he knew it.
“F-forgive me,” I pleaded. “Please, forgive—”
“Stop it,” he demanded. “There is nothing to forgive. You had an accident, and you fell. You didn’t want this to happen, Branna. Come on, baby. I know that.”
I continued to sob.
“I won’t be able to live wi-with myself if I’ve hurt ‘im—”
“Baby,” Ryder stressed. “Don’t do this to yourself. You’ll make yourself sick if you keep stressing out like this, and that won’t be good for the baby, right?”
I took a few deep breaths.
“No,” I sniffled. “It won’t be g-good for the baby.”
“Exactly,” he stated. “We have a plan. We’re going to get you warm then into clean, dry clothes. I’ll pack our stuff, and we’ll be on our way home in the next twenty minutes, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Ryder made good on his word. After I dried and put on multiple layers of clothes, Ryder packed our belongings in record time. Things that weren’t needed were abandoned in the cabin, and without giving our beautiful getaway a proper goodbye, we left, got into our Jeep, and began the journey home.
The drive down the mountain on the back roads was stomach churning. The rain was falling heavily, the thunder and lightning hadn’t stopped, and the wind was so strong it caused whistling sounds to fill the car.
My cries became silent, my tears dried up, but my worries still lingered.
“I shouldn’t have left the cabin,” I said.
“Don’t, Branna,” Ryder said firmly. “Playing the what-if game will only upset you more than you already are.”
He was right. I knew he was right, but my mind apparently liked torture.
“Talk about something’ else,” I implored. “Anythin’ else.”
He did just that.
We talked about anything and everything for the first two hours of our journey. I even fell asleep for a while, and when I awoke, we were back in Dublin about only twenty or so minutes away from the hospital. The weather was just as bad as it was on the mountains, but luck was on our side when it came to traffic. Smarter people than us stayed in their homes and off the roads.
“About our fight,” I said to Ryder. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have never been such a dick about why I want five kids, and I should have never pushed the idea on you. It wasn’t fair.”
I remained silent.
“The reason I want five is just because me and my brothers make up five, and I want my kids to have what we have. I want them to have safety, security, love, and loyalty. Before you, my siblings were the only people to offer me any of that.” Ryder’s shoulders slumped as he spoke. “My brothers saved me growing up. Without them, I honestly don’t know what kind of person I would have become back on the compound. It’s just... if anything ever happens to us, I want our children to have brothers or sisters who will help and love them through anything. Apart from you and our baby, Branna, my brothers are my greatest love. They mean everything to me. I’d die for them without hesitation. I guess… I guess I just wanted the baby to have a bond like that too, and I just assumed a bond like that would be in numbers. I’m sorry for forcing my wish onto you, though. I didn’t understand why you didn’t want more kids, but I do now. You aren’t an incubator to just house our kids. It’s your decision on how many—”
“Ours,” I corrected.
Ryder’s eyebrow rose as he glanced for the road to me and back to the road.
“What?”
“Ours,” I repeated. “I was wrong before. It’s our decision. It is me body, but if I’m bein’ honest, it’s your body, too. You love and cherish it—you love and cherish me. Hearin’ your reasons for why you are so adamant about wantin’ five kids isn’t crazy. It’s heartwarmin’, honey. You’re such a good man, and I can’t believe that you’re mine. I will have as many kids as you and God give me. I want our children to have what you and I had growin’ up. Love, happiness, and everything else you listed. Whether it’s with one siblin’ or ten. I want all of that... with you.”
Ryder grabbed my hand for a second then let it go so he could shift gears.
“I want to kiss you so damn bad right now.”
I smiled. “You’ll just have to give me an extra-long one later.”
“You can count on it, darling.”
My heart thrummed against my chest.
“I love you, Ry,” I said, my eyes misting. “You mean the world to me.”
I gasped when he suddenly pulled the car over on the side of the road, unbuckled his belt, and leaned over the console to kiss me.
“There is only so much of your sweet talking I can take,” he murmured against my lips. “I’m only a man.”
I smiled and pressed my forehead against his before he moved back to his side of the car, buckled his belt, and started driving once more.
“You should ring your sister.”
I lost my smile.
“No,” I said. “I don’t want to worry ‘er until I know there is somethin’ to worry about.”
Ryder glanced at me once more.
“She’ll lose her mind if you do that.”
“I don’t care,” I said firmly. “She and everyone else will just worry, and I don’t want to think about that. I just want you and me to go to the hospital, and we’ll go from there, okay?”
“Whatever you want, baby.”
I nodded and placed my hands on my stomach, silently willing the baby to move, but like before, I felt no movement of any kind... not even a flutter. When we pulled into the hospital car park, it wasn’t soon enough. I opened the passenger door and stepped out, but the second I put weight on my sore leg, I yelped.
“Shite,” I said through clenched teeth. “I can walk, but it’s goin’ to be sore.”
Ryder came around my side of the car, shut the door, locked the car, and then scooped me up into his arms. Instinctively, my arms went around his neck as he briskly walked across the car park, through the double doors and into the hospital. I told him how to get to the emergency room, but he ignored me and the security guard, and took the stairs two at a time until we reached the second floor.
The labour ward.
“I’m not in labour,” I said to him as he advanced towards the double
doors. “I have to go to the emergency department.”
“Like hell,” he said before literally kicking the door open and stepping onto the ward.
“Ryder!” I gasped.
“Sally, Ash?” he shouted, not caring that everyone else on the ward could hear him. “I need your help; it’s Branna!”
I looked to my left and saw Ash literally sprinting down the hallway with Sally and my other co-workers in tow.
“Bran,” Ash panted as he came to a skidding stop before Ryder and me. “What the hell happened?”
“She fell into the river near the cabin we were staying in,” Ryder answered, hiking me up against his chest so he could adjust his grip on my body. “She was submerged for about ten to fifteen seconds, and it was ice cold so I had to warm her up before we could come here. She hasn’t felt the baby move since it happened nearly three hours ago.”
“Room one is free,” Sally said as she dug her phone from her pocket. “Get ‘er in there, and I’ll call me husband up from the emergency room.”
Ryder kept me in his arms as he followed Ash into room one. Ryder placed me on the bed and remained by my side as Ash silently moved around the room, grabbing everything he would need to check on the baby. He cursed when he found no CTG machine in the room.
“I’ll go grab a CTG,” he said to Sally who entered the room.
“There is a Fetal Doppler in here. I’ll use that until you get a machine. I’m sure Branna and Ryder are anxious to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
If there is a heartbeat.
I began crying, and it caused Ryder to sit on the bed next to me and wrap his arm around me. Ash left the room quickly, and Sally grabbed the Fetal Doppler from the storage press at the end of the room. Ryder helped me remove my jacket and jumper and pull up my t-shirt until my belly was exposed. Sally helped me tug down my leggings until my pubic bone showed. Without waiting for consent, she squirted some gel on my stomach, turned on the Doppler, and placed it on my stomach. She swirled it around the gel, and for a few moments there was static and the usual sound that came from the device. I listened hard, and when I heard the soft drum of a heartbeat, I knew it wasn’t mine from the pace of it. The sound got louder and louder until it was all that could be heard.
“The heartbeat is strong,” Sally announced, and her sigh of relief was obvious. “The baby is okay, probably just sleepin’.”
I burst into tears once more, and I think Ryder did too.
“I told you,” he said as he kissed my face. “I told you he would be okay.”
I clung to him; the relief I felt was almost too much to bear.
“Shit, don’t tell me it’s bad, Sal?”
I looked up and saw Ash re-enter the room, pushing a CTG machine with one hand, and pulling a USG machine behind him. The CTG machine monitors the baby’s heartbeat around the clock with a strap that is placed around my stomach, whereas the USG machine is used to perform ultrasound scans.
“The opposite,” Sally beamed. “The baby is fine, just sleeping.”
Ash placed his hand on his chest. “Thank fuck for that.”
I managed a laugh.
“I’ve to check on a few patients,” Sally suddenly said, and she took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Ash, get her hooked up to the CTG and I’ll perform a scan in about five minutes. Ryder, join me outside for a moment, would you?”
He did so without hesitation and Ash closed the door after the pair left.
I knew Sally was giving Ryder a rundown on the procedure for this type of patient admission, and she would ask him more questions to determine if I needed to stay in the hospital overnight. I was certain I’d have to stay overnight, especially if Sally put the decision to Ryder. I turned my focus from them to my friend and snorted. Ash, as usual, had a grin on his face that told me he was about to take my mind off everything that had just happened.
“You missed me that much that you pulled this shit just so you could come onto the ward and see me?” he asked, his hand on his chest. “I’m touched.”
I laughed. “Kiss me arse, I don’t love you that much.”
“Lies,” he teased as he switched on the CTG machine and hooked the monitoring strap around my stomach.
I shook my head, smiling. “You should have seen Ryder run up here with me. I tried to tell ‘im that this was the labour ward, and I’d need to go to the emergency department downstairs, but he wasn’t havin’ it.”
“He trusts Sally and me to take care of you,” Ash said, his chest swelling with pride. “I’d have just requested that you be brought up here anyway, so Ryder saved us time by doing this favour.”
I smiled. “I figured as much.”
Ash winked then looked at the USG machine that was next to us.
“I’m going to see if I can do this technician gig,” he announced, rubbing his hands together before turning the machine on.
I chortled as he adjusted the CTG monitoring strap.
“Go for it,” I said.
After spurting some more gel onto my skin, Ash swirled the Doppler around on my belly, and I watched him with great amusement. I didn’t think he’d find the baby’s heartbeat, or the baby at all, because while he was decent at reading ultrasounds, he wasn’t very good at using this machine to find the perfect images. We didn’t have the eye that the technicians did. To me, everything was just black and grey splotches until something was pointed out to me.
After a minute or two, I thought Ash was about to give up when he suddenly leaned in so close to the monitor that his nose almost touched the screen. He sat back on the bed after a moment and looked from the screen to me then back at the screen. He blinked and rubbed his eyes a couple of times too. I watched him with bewilderment; the man stared at the monitor like God himself had appeared and randomly began to shuffle back and forth in an Elvis costume.
“What the heck is wrong with you?” I asked with a strained laugh.
In the back of my mind, I was worried he saw something about the baby that wasn’t good, and it began to scare me.
“Nothing,” he replied, still looking at the screen. “I just... it looks like... I’m certain anyway—”
“Ash!” I cut him off, now panicked. “What do you see? Is the baby okay?”
Please be okay.
“Yeah, everything looks great. It’s just...” he mumbled to himself and leaned in closer to the monitor. “Look, I’m no technician, sweetheart, but that’s twins right there. I’m sure of it.”
For a second, all I heard was static noise.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I gathered my bearings. “Can you repeat that?”
“Ryder has mighty sperm,” Ash stated with a shake of his head. “He knocked you up with twins. I’d bet my car on it.”
My heart slammed into my chest because Ash bloody loved his car.
“I don’t find you one bit fu-unny,” I stammered. “You clearly have some other lady’s ultrasound and are pretendin’ it’s mine!”
Laughter burst free from Ash.
“That would have been hilarious, but this is not a joke. With my hand on my heart, I’m not yanking your chain. That’s all you on the screen and your two babies.”
I looked from Ash to the screen and said, “Point it out to me.”
He did as he was asked, and once I saw what he saw, I couldn’t unsee it.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered.
“Yep, start prayin’ to Him because you’re so screwed.” He snickered. “Raising twins is going to be hard as hell.”
Stop talking.
I thought of Ryder, and my heart began to violently pound against my chest.
“Ryder,” I rasped. “Get ‘im in here. Sally too; she can read scans like the newspaper.”
Ash didn’t need to be asked twice; he left the room and went to get Ryder and Sally. It left me alone in the room with the monitor that was now dark because the Doppler wasn’t on my stomach anymore. Blank screen or not, I couldn’t look away from the monitor. My whole life was ch
anging before me, and I was sickly excited about it.
“Twins,” I whispered aloud.
Can I really be that lucky?
Sally entered the room a few seconds before Ryder, and she went straight to the USG machine and repeated what Ash did. She gasped once or twice, and then took a shitload of measurements. The suspense was almost killing me.
“Well?” I said.
Sally looked at me with wide eyes. “Ash is right, Bran.”
“Oh, my God!” I whispered.
“Is there something wrong with the baby?” Ryder asked, the fear in his voice evident. “Ash said something to Sally, and she just took off back in here.”
I looked at my husband and found his eyes locked on mine. I shook my head in response to his question, my eyes misting with water.
“No.” I choked. “In fact, both babies are doin’ excellent.”
Ryder’s shoulders sagged with relief briefly before they tensed almost instantly when my words registered with him.
“Don’t play,” he warned. “I can’t take jokes like that.”
I smiled wide as tears began to splash onto my cheeks.
“I’m not playin’. We’re havin’ twins. Look.”
Sally pointed Baby A and Baby B out to us both, and before we knew it, the whole room was crying. Even Ash was discreetly rubbing at his eyes and calling us all crybabies, which made us laugh.
“I don’t know how it was missed at your twelve-week scan, Branna,” Sally said, dabbing her cheeks with a hanky.
“It was a brief scan with Taylor,” I said, feeling like I was floating. “And from what was pointed out to me, it did look like just one baby.”
“Maybe one twin was hiding behind the other,” Ash suggested. “That’s happened two other times this year when the mother’s had early scans.”
“Will they be like my brothers?” Ryder asked me.
“No, because your brothers are technically fraternal twins.”
Ryder blinked. “No, they’re identical.”
“They have different hair colour,” I said flatly. “Identical twins would have the same melanin levels, so they can’t have different hair colour.”
My husband frowned. “Branna, apart from their hair, they are the same. They literally have the same face.”