She looks at me with sympathetic eyes and comes closer to me holding my hand.
“I think this is a case of you fighting for so long to get what you want, finally getting it, and your mind’s making you second guess yourself. Don’t build the walls back up, Ava. He likes what he sees in you. He knows who you are.” She raises a brow at me smiling. “He’s known for years and here he is with you. Don’t overthink and sabotage your relationship. Forget about Sage. Concentrate on you and him and what you have with him.”
I know I’m the first to say you shouldn’t have to change for any man. But...being with a man like Chris who is more about giving than taking, and as loving as he is, is giving me pause. Would suppressing a part of who I am be so bad if it means keeping him? Not often in life you get exactly what you want and it’s better than you thought it would be. I might even have to use the L word.
She squeezes my arm and hugs me. “I have the feeling still. Ava, this is going to last.”
“I want that more than anything.” I smile taking the plate from her fixing it on the table.
She looks down at the table brows drawn together and points. “What is that?” I press my lips together at the appalled look on her face, not daring to touch it. “I hope you weren’t on the table I’m about to eat on. If so, you had better have thoroughly disinfected this surface.”
“Calm down, your brother’s hands were moving faster than an octopus but I partially managed to keep my clothes on.”
“Even that bit of info is TMI for me.”
I grab the condom off the table and throw it in a drawer. I call the guys to the table with Jace. I’m happier than I was before we talked. It’s great to have a friend like Cat who understands who I am.
Ava
All was going well at dinner and I could even have a good laugh at my day from hell until the call.
“I’m telling you I had my signal on. I don’t know what happened. As for the second ticket, where the hell was I supposed to park? I wasn’t inside more than five minutes.”
“I told you not to drive. Keep your car off New York streets.” They agree with Cat and laugh.
I throw my napkin on my plate and take a sip of my wine. “You guys suck.”
Chris’s phone rings and he takes it out his pocket. I watch him and his eyes flick up to me before he answers shifting in his chair.
“Hey.”
I listen to his one-sided conversation while Cat and Nick play with Jace in his lap.
“No. I’m not home. I’m not sure. I’ll call you back and let you know.”
All one to three word answers not giving much but everything away to who I can bet he’s talking to. She’s not just making late night calls anymore. I run my tongue across my teeth watching him, measuring each breath I take the longer he talks.
“Uh..hold on,” he say to the person on the phone. He gets up without looking at me and goes to the far end of the other room with his back turned to us.
“Is he for real?” I say under my breath sitting back.
Nick and Cat look at me. I give them a tight smile. Nick gives me that practiced lawyer look that says hold your peace. The one he gives to his clients that says let’s hear the evidence before you say or day anything.
He comes back to the table and apologizes sitting down, “Sorry about that.”
Cat and Nick wave it off saying, “Don’t worry about it.”
“Yes, duty calls,” I say putting my glass down. “When she calls, you must answer.”
He stares at me and nods once. “What were we talking about?”
I can’t help myself. “For a while, I believed you were gay.”
“What?” he says almost spitting his drink on the table. “Is that what we were talking about? My memory must be failing me.”
“It took you this long to admit you liked me. The girls you dated I can’t even remember them. They were dull, boring, dull and duller. There I was-you turned me down at every turn. But I see now, you were confused. You didn’t have sense enough to know what you wanted. A wallflower would not do for you. You don’t do boring well. As it’s been proven.”
Clearing his throat, he says nothing. His head moves to Cat and Nick who say nothing. The only sound in the room is the happy babbling of an innocent baby oblivious to the tension swirling around the room. Chris turns to me with a crooked smile barely moving his lips to even call it a smile.
“Maybe we should talk about something else,” Cat says looking to her brother on an upbeat note, “like how delicious this meal was.”
“I wasn’t tripping all over myself to get to you and you assumed I was gay. How like you, because I’m not falling at your feet making you the center of attention. You at the height of your self-admiration.”
“I have always thought highly of myself. If I don’t, why should I expect anyone else to? Who was on the phone?”
“You heard. Let’s not do this.” He backs away from the table taking his plate.
Nick also gets up with Jace and Cat saying, “Well this has been an interesting evening. Next time our house. No phone calls at the table. They will be confiscated upon entry. Removal of projectile objects will be under consideration.”
“Nick, it’s not the time.” Cat responds to his attempt at humor and looks at me. “We’re going to leave and give you time to talk. Remember what I said earlier.”
I frown, standing up giving her a hug and taking Jace from Nick. I kiss his baby soft cheek and put his hat on. “I love you.” I bounce him in my arms because I know it will make him laugh. Chris stands behind me at the door saying goodbye.
Nick says, “Like I said next time at our house, right babe?” He kisses Cat on the cheek as I hand Jace off to her.”
“She has a name. It would be nice to hear it once or twice.” Chris jokes with Nick.
As if he’s not affected at all by what happened. Brushing it off like my concerns don’t matter. A flash of anger streaks across me.
“You should have a cute nickname for me. Like Nick is always calling Cat, babe.
“Babe is already taken,” he says, humor in his voice gone.
“Babe’s too tame for me.” I turn my head with hostility aimed at him. “Hotness. Right this second, I’m as hot as fire.”
“You’re a hot something, all right. You can’t pick the endearment you want me to call you. It doesn’t work like that.” He glares at me.
“It should, I’m the one who has to be called it.”
“How about sweetness?” He raises his voice sarcastically.
“I’m not sweet.” I snap back, not caring Nick and Cat are there.
“Then how about rotten apple. It only takes one rotten apple to ruin the bunch and I’ll bet you’ve ruined a lot.”
“I’m rotten?” My lips tighten like a bottle cap around a bottle. I’m so worked up but I’m not letting it all spill out in front of my cousin and Cat.
He throws his hand in the air letting out a ragged breath. “You’re not rotten but your attitude is sour. It’s turning me off.”
I lift my head squinting my eyes tightly saying, “Fine. You pick the damn name.”
“How nice of you to allow me to pick it.”
“Don’t mention it. Putting my stellar compromising skills into effect.”
I say bye leaving him at the door to finish saying goodnight to our guests. I go to take a needed shower. Talking to him is the last thing I want to do. I wish he felt the same way. As the water is washing over me the curtain is ripped open belying the calm in his voice.
“What the hell was that, Ava?”
“Me acknowledging the important phone call you had to take. Do you mind, I’m not done? I’ll let you know when I am.” I grab the shower curtain to block my body as angry as he is.
Grabbing the curtain out of my hand he flings it wide open almost ripping it down. Turing off the faucets with an aggressive turn of his wrist. My hands are on my hips, my head to the side. His eyes scan down my body momentarily giving me a once over as bea
ds of water roll down my body.
Yes, take a look at what you won’t be getting. Think twice, next time you decide to take the call.
“That was you acting like a brat. The Ava I’m used to and haven’t seen in a while, welcome back. Get out, you’re done. We are going to settle this tonight. I’m not going to bed like this.”
Shivering I step out of the tub grabbing a towel off the bar. “You can sleep on the couch,” I inform him leaving with the towel around me.
Snorting he follows me into the bedroom. “I’m not sleeping on a couch, Ava. You can if you want or I can go home.”
I pull out the drawer looking for underwear. “That might be best.”
“Dealing with you...you are blowing this way out of proportion. You need to sit down and calm yourself and think before you say your next words.”
Who does he think he’s talking to? I’m the wrong one, my name is not Sage. He can’t pacify me. I’m not going to fall in line because he says it’s time to. “Don’t try to handle me, Chris. My name is not Sage.”
I slam the drawer shut, forgetting what I was searching for. He moves closer stopping with his legs apart, hands on his lean hips, giving me direct eye contact.
“I don’t think anyone could do that. I’m trying to rein you in and keep you on the sane side before you go off boiling bunnies.”
Laughing humorously, I point to him. “Clever of you but I’m not the mistress here.”
“You are not, you’re the woman I’m building a relationship with. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Sage is not a threat, you are.” He points at me.
Sure, she isn’t. “Why haven’t we been to your apartment?” I cross my arms in a less angry voice at his accusatory statement. “You never invited me, why?”
“We somehow end up here. It’s not intentional.”
“Great, invite me now?”
“When have you needed an invitation to do what you want?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say defensively.
He puts his hands on his head blowing out a breath like he’s thoroughly frustrated. “You know-let’s not do this okay.”
“No, let’s.” I cock my head to the side tightening my arms under my towel clad breasts.
“Ava, I don’t want to lose it.” His voice loses the heated buildup of our argument. “And I don’t want you to fly off the rails. I missed you a lot today.” He looks at me, eyes softening from the way they were during our argument. Prompting me to look down.
Refusing to drop it for no other reason than that’s just me I say, “No.”
He steps closer, closing in on me. Near enough to feel the warmth of his breath against my face. “Beauty, I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to see you upset and angry. I don’t want to go home to a lonely house to sleep by myself tonight when I could be here loving you in my arms. Seeing your beautiful face fall into ecstasy at my touch. The way it was when I stepped through the door this evening.”
Biting my lip, I’m finding it hard to stay mad after his words, which I agree with some of. I don’t want him to go. I don’t want to be alone tonight, either. I need him here with me to rid the thoughts of not being enough of what he wants in his life. Dammit. I shake my head.
“Come here.” Brushing his lips across my forehead he grabs me by the waist slamming my body to his loosening the towel around me.
“Watch it! I’m a lady. I’m not some cheap strumpet you can manhandle.”
A smile hovering on his lips with his arm around me he grasps the towel in his hand yanking it down. “You’re going to cut this shit out before this goes any further. I’m with you. I’m with you. You have me. I’m crazy about you, as crazy as you make me at times. Trust in me. I’m with you.”
I wonder if he said those same words to Sage when they were together and I wanted him. ‘Trust in me. I’m with you.’
“I like to keep what’s mine, mine. Especially when it’s newly acquired territory,” I say.
A menacing gleam lights his eyes with his half smile looking rather sinister. “Territory. I see we need a lesson. A refresher course.” He taps on my lower lip with his finger, tightening his grip on my hip, sinking his fingers into my flesh. “You’ll only get as far as I allow you. Don’t take my less than aggressive stance as weakness, Ava. The fall will only be that much harder.”
Those softly spoken words send a thrill through me. Reminding me of the other side of him I’ve gotten to know. The side that dominates me, bringing me to my knees to worship his body and obey him. Just as he will do to me bringing my body to ecstasy with the touch of his hand and scalding mouth across my quivering flesh.
“Oh god, how hard?” I ask moving closer to his lips.
“Almost punishingly hard.”
“Is this a promise?”
“Fact.”
We may not agree on a lot but in the bedroom, we excel. We are in perfect sync. Where he leads, I follow. When I talk, he listens, no audible words needed.
Eyes boring into mine he brushes my hair away from my face. Stepping back, he strips off his clothes ever so slowly. I watch, not taking my eyes off his magnificent body. Seeing my tongue roving over each ridge and groove of muscle.
Coming beside me he kisses me softly, moving the back of his hand down between my breast, all the way down between my legs. Making me squirm with anticipation he runs a finger through my slick heat, making a sound over my mouth to vibrate through me and I answer back moaning lustily.
He presses a finger against my lips saying, “Shh, we’ve talked enough.” I intently watch as he brings his finger coated with me into his mouth. Pulling out slowly between his lips, eyes closing half way. “I couldn’t wait, I just had to get a taste. Now, down on your knees. Your smart-ass mouth has a lot of making up to do.”
“It’s a brave man who lets me get down on my knees when I have not yet won the battle.”
“The bravest,” he says with amusement and a hint of trust in his eyes.
“Brave, indeed.”
I’ve learned most men are afraid of sharp objects in this particular area. Not him. He likes it. Something about it gets to him and I’m more than happy to oblige. Kneeling, I wrap my mouth around him stroking his long, smooth cock. Carefully raking a bit of taut skin between my teeth with enough pressure to bring a combination of the most exquisite order together. Doing one of the most intimate things you can do with another person, pleasure and pain.
“Tell me you like it,” he says, breathing harsh and shallow pulling out.
“I love it,” I say with a voice I don’t recognize.
“Again,” he orders, teeth clenched drawing a sharp breath forcing his way back into my waiting mouth.
My lips stretch over the broad head of his pulsing cock with every forced inch, feeling the pull my mouth waters. “Mmm.” I moan. He exhales closing his eyes, fingers grazing my scalp and massaging my head tenderly, lacing through the strands of my hair. But such is the contrast when my head is roughly pulled back, making me whimper “Uhh.”
Dragging himself out of me he pushes my hands away. Circling the edge of my lips, holding his pulsing erection he goads, “You want it? Take it.” I move to take what I want but he won’t let me. Holding my head immobile he taunts, “Go ahead, have a taste.” Knowing I’m helpless to take what I want, releasing my need for him.
Frustrated, dripping wet running down between my legs, I whimper at the delicious offering just beyond my reach giving in to him. “Chris, I need it...I need you...please...”
Sneering down at me with a wicked smile, he bends his head, lips meeting mine tasting himself. Wordlessly he brings the swelling head of his cock back, rubbing back and forth over my waiting mouth. Brushing and scraping his sensitive flesh over my teeth, he gasps in pure pleasure, as beads of moisture paint his unique flavor on me.
The flat of his head heavily weighing on my lower lip, I moan my pleasure at the salty, musky, sweet taste of him. “Mmm. So good.”
H
is jaw clenches, nostrils slightly flared, daring me with teeth bared. And I dare. I know what he wants before he even says it.
“Be my little dirty bitch. Are you going to do that for me? Let me spread you wide to eat that sweet delectable pussy out. Are you my dirty bitch?”
My eyes are wide open staring in to his. He’s the only man to ever talk to me in this way. You could be damn fucking sure if it was another man I’d be handing him his balls sown to his dick on a platter. But this is my fucking dick and I worked hard for it. And I understand, he brings a need in me I didn’t know I had. He fills it and makes me crave more to the point of being insatiable.
Only he can quench this need. So for him I say, “Yes.”
Opening my mouth my tongue snakes out licking his swollen head, along with the pearly white droplets on his slit as I push against the opening, gently suckling, cleaning him off and licking again.
My legs rub together trying to relieve building pressure lick after lick, my moans filling the room. Unable to control myself any longer, needing to get him off I spit on the tip of his dick. Cleaning him off with long smooth strokes of my tongue, deep throating him as he moans my name.
“Yeah, just like that. Again. Fucking spit on it, lick me clean. Ava, yes. Like that, just like that.” Spit, lick, suck, repeat. Spit, lick, suck, repeat. “Ava, baby, yes, yes...don’t stop, spit on it baby. Yes, just like that. Open your mouth nice and wide for me now.” He grates out between clenched teeth.
I do, panting hard as he roughly rubs the head of his beautiful cock around my mouth, telling me wider. When I’ve gone as wide as I can he pushes into me, stretching my mouth impossibly wide filling me, stopping at the back of my throat. As I gag almost painfully breathing through my nose, tears dotting my eyes, throat burning. I surrender as saliva dribbles down my chin over him, feeling powerless to do anything else but leave him in control waiting for his release.
He strokes my hair looking down at me with a mix of heat and tenderness. “Baby, god you’re fucking beautiful, I can’t get enough of you.” He eases out a little telling me to suck faster and harder as he moves in and out of my mouth. Pushing, pulling, sucking. “Don’t stop.” He chants.
Imperfections Take Me As I Am (The Imperfections Series Book 3) Page 20