Love Rock'ollection: The Brutal Strength Rock Star Trilogy, books 1-3

by Michelle Mankin

  Marcus was quiet while watching her face and the tears that silently slid down her cheeks. His eyes shone with empathy and something softer she couldn’t quite name.

  “Sorry, I lost it.” Avery swiped at the tears that clung to her lashes.

  “Like I’m the king of self-control.” Marcus snorted. “We’re good. Everything’s cool.” It had been a particularly hellacious type of torture to sit there and not be able to do anything but watch while Avery cried. A sudden idea made him stand abruptly. “Hold on a second, Ace. I’ll be right back.”

  Marcus passed behind the sectional and disappeared down the hall. When he returned he held his acoustic guitar in one hand and his Les Paul electric in the other. He handed the Les Paul to Avery. He found it therapeutic to play whenever something upset him. Maybe it might work the same way with Avery.

  Avery reverentially cradled the Les Paul on her lap. It was a beautiful instrument. Flame maple with a tobacco sunburst finish. She adjusted the strap, and bowed her head immediately over the frets to play.

  Marcus sat down and just watched Avery play for a minute. The kid was so young to have been through so much. He felt guilty. His own life had been a cakewalk in comparison. Satisfied to see the tension finally draining from Avery’s face and shoulders, he lowered his head and started to strum on his own guitar.

  Marcus lost track of how long they played, separately at first, but then inevitably together as they complemented one another. He couldn’t say that he was surprised. There was a bond that had formed between them. He’d felt it from the first meeting, and it was continuing to grow stronger. Because of the music, he told himself, not wanting to acknowledge anything further. He began humming a melody, and Avery started singing the chorus she had written for “Siren Call.” He smiled, “I like that. What do you think?”

  “It’s good. It has a kind of a bleak feel to it that works, but I’m stuck on the rest of the lyrics. My experience with drugs is kind of second hand.” She shrugged.

  He laughed self-deprecatingly. “Ok. Unfortunately, that’s something I can help with. What do you want to know?”

  “Tell me what happened. I really don’t understand how someone like you…”

  He cut her off. “Someone like me… what?”

  “Would be willing to give up control like that.”

  “It’s that obvious, huh?”

  “Yeah, duh.” Avery made a face.

  “I guess for me that was part of the allure. I thought the drugs would help me relax and make things more fun. At least that’s the lie I told myself. And sure, when I was totally wasted, I wasn’t worried about anything else, really. But something I didn’t count on was how the drugs shut me down completely, even creatively… These songs I’ve written with you are the first ones I’ve been able to write in over a year.”

  Avery stopped scribbling down notes and stared at him with apparent disbelief.

  “Yeah, Ace. I know. When music’s an obsession, as important as breathing, the way it is for guys like us, that’s reason enough to stay sober. I hope you stay away from the stuff, even though it’s considered socially acceptable in our business. I thought I was strong enough that I could say no at any time and get out, but I was wrong. Once that shit gets its hooks into you, it’s almost impossible to break loose.”

  “And sometimes you never do… like Justin.”

  “What happened to your brother, Avery? I would think that having grown up with your dad, he would never have wanted to touch anything like that.”

  “That’s what I thought, too. But looking back, I think it just made him more susceptible. Desperate for approval, you know?”

  “I can see that.” Marcus nodded his head.

  “Justin really looked up to the club owner where we played. He followed Frank around everywhere, copied everything he did, including the drugs. After our shows, Frank would always be there with a line of coke, offering it to us on a mirrored platter, like it was some kind of gift.” Avery shuddered. “I wonder if only I had done something different, would I have been able to save him?”

  “Avery, we all have to take responsibility for our own choices. I certainly know this.” Marcus cautioned his expression sober. “Justin made his own decisions. The drugs were there for you to take also, weren’t they?”

  She nodded.

  “But you didn’t do them, right?”

  “No.” She shook her head, vehemently. “Of course not, never.” Scooting over closer to him on the sectional, she laid open her notebook to show him what she had written down while they’d talked. “I think I have the lyrics worked out now. What do you think about this?”

  I am all you ever need, her desire calls

  Telling her lies, her memory stalls

  Poisoning the body, it seems so tender

  It takes so much strength not to surrender

  It loves to catch her as she falls

  A siren calls him, a heavenly voice

  He cannot resist, there is no choice

  Upon the rocks, he feels no fear

  She lures him there, the edge is near

  An untimely fall, now she will rejoice

  The desire so strong, it holds on tight

  Strength to overcome, not in sight

  Your senses so dulled, nothing alive

  It tells you, you need me to survive

  Your mind fights for what it knows is right

  A desire to feel like never before

  Always needing so much more

  Death is looming, a desire so strong

  A song to lure, a drug to belong

  Don’t be fooled, there’s life to adore

  AS AVERY WAS getting dressed the next morning, the phone rang. “Hey, I have a little problem,” Trevor announced ominously on the other end of the line.

  “What is it?” Avery asked, heart beginning to pound erratically in her chest.

  “A three hundred and fifty thousand dollar problem!” He chuckled at his joke while she dropped down on the bed and tried to catch her breath. “The check’s been burning a hole in my pocket. It needs to be deposited somewhere. It’s made out to this awesome guitarist I know, Avery Jones.” He chuckled again. “Maybe you’ve heard of him?”

  Avery let out a piercing celebratory scream.

  “Hey that’s my ear,” Trevor chided.

  “Sorry Trevor. That’s awesome news. The best. There’s a bank just around the corner. I’ll go right over and open up an account.”

  Avery arrived early enough to be the first customer of the morning. When she was done, she called Jeff to tell him she finally had the money to pay off the mobster.

  “Oh, Avery, that’s great news.”

  “I hate to ask you, but could you possibly take it to Campanella for me? He already knows you, and you’re the only one I can trust with that much cash.”

  “Absolutely. Consider it done. Just send me a little extra something so I can buy a tub of disinfectant soap to wash off the scum afterward.”

  Avery made arrangements to have the money electronically transferred to her roommate’s account in New York as soon as the funds became available. On the way back to her hotel, she stopped somewhere she had always wanted to shop, but never could have afforded before… the Apple store.

  Once she had her purchase in hand, she immediately texted Marcus.

  Avery: U up yet bum?

  Marcus: Been up for hours scrub. Sup?

  Avery: Bought a new toy today- I want to show u. Biking- Stanley Park?

  Marcus: Sure Meet u @ Aquarium parking lot in 30, u got coffee?

  Avery: Will run to Café A. CU soon.

  Avery spotted Marcus as soon as she exited the cab. The sight of him brought a smile to her lips. Marcus always looked good, but today he was ruggedly fine in faded jeans, a knit cap like hers, mirrored sunglasses, and a dark leather jacket.

  Avery passed him a cup of coffee.

  “Thanks.” He wrapped his hands around it. “It’s a little chilly for a ride this
morning, but I’m game if you are. I haven’t done this in ages.” As they filled out the paperwork to rent bikes, Avery showed off her prize.

  Marcus raised an eyebrow as she gushed on and on about all it could do. “Avery, you do realize that the iTouch is old technology.”

  “I know, I know, but I’ve never had one. I just downloaded the Foo Fighters’ album, Wasting Light. Have you heard it?”

  “I have, it’s a winner. Not seventies though. Are you softening on your stance about current music?”

  She punched his shoulder playfully. “I just might have to add Foo Fighters to the exception column!”

  They put on gloves and buttoned up jackets before they hopped on the bikes and headed around the six mile promenade that hugged the coastal peninsula of Stanley Park. They made several stops along the way as they saw things that interested them.

  When they reached Prospect Point Lookout, they admired the view of Lion’s Gate Bridge. The fog hovering over the ocean concealed all but the top of Grouse Mountain.

  “Hey, there’s a café here. Let’s go in and warm up,” Marcus said, patting his face. “Maybe grab a bite to eat. I’m starving, and my face is numb.”

  “Sure. My lips are frozen.”

  Marcus’ eyes flicked briefly to Avery’s full lips. “Yeah, your cheeks are red, too,” he said gruffly.

  They took seats on opposite sides of a table in front of a window at the back of the café. It was crowded, but Marcus kept his sunglasses on, and no one bothered them. Avery took off her gloves. “Me and my brilliant ideas. I can barely feel my fingertips,” she said, exhaling on her hands and rubbing them together.

  Marcus watched Avery for a moment, gaze intense but indecipherable before he blew on his own hands to warm them.

  Avery found herself fascinated by his lips and began imagining things. She blinked out of it when the waitress showed up and took their order. She leaned forward. “Have you seen the Foo Fighters’ garage tour video?”

  Marcus shook his head.

  “It’s brilliant. You have to see it.” She moved into the chair next to him and scooted it over. Pulling her iTouch out of her pocket, she gave him one ear bud while taking the other. She scrolled down to the video and pushed play. Marcus put his sunglasses up on his head and leaned closer.

  Avery gave Marcus a sideways glance. He was so handsome. She traced his features with her eyes while he watched the video. Intelligent brow, beautiful blue eyes, and those lips. Lately, she had become obsessed with the idea of kissing him, and his lips were so close right now. She could lean in ever so slightly.

  Avery sighed. Marcus turned his head to look at her, and that put him even closer. She felt his breath, and her body melted with desire. He arched a speculative brow. Had he heard her sigh? Had he noticed her staring?

  “Could you turn it up, Ace?” he asked.

  She thought wryly, If I turn it up any higher I’ll probably spontaneously combust.

  But when she looked down to scroll up the volume, his warm breath fanned over the sensitive skin on the back of her neck. It felt so erotic, so sensual, like something a lover would do. Heat pooled in the center of her body, and her cheeks flushed.

  Avery immediately pulled the ear bud out and shoved the iTouch into Marcus’ open hand.

  He gave her a furrowed brow questioning look.

  Slapping her hands over her red cheeks, she jumped up and blurted out, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  Luckily, it was a single stalled men’s restroom. She dashed in and locked the door. Leaning over the sink, she gripped the counter while her heart went all crazy town. “Holy Cow,” she exhaled shakily. She’d never felt so out of control with a guy. She scrubbed both hands over her head, causing her short red hair to stick up all over. Benito would probably like that windblown look she thought a little hysterically.

  Avery, calm down, she ordered herself. Breathe in, breathe out. When she managed to get her pulse slowed down to a more moderate post-marathon level, she splashed cold water over her face and ran her wet hands through her hair to smooth it down.

  She wondered what Marcus thought of her sudden departure.

  Marcus had watched until Avery had turned the corner out of sight, the video completely forgotten. He wondered what was up. He’d been having trouble concentrating. Sitting there, that close together, he’d gotten a big nose full of that tropically scented shampoo Avery favored. Why the hell would a guy use stuff like that, and why the hell would he even care?

  Marcus was startled out of his thoughts when the waitress arrived with the hot tea and sandwiches they’d ordered, the wayward guitarist in her wake.

  Taking a seat, Avery picked up the mug and blew over the rim of the steaming beverage. She avoided eye contact with Marcus, needing another minute to collect her thoughts. Staring out the window at the park grounds, she scrambled for something to say, for some neutral topic to discuss.

  “Here’s your iTouch back,” Marcus told her, sliding the device across the table.

  She picked it up, slid it into her pocket, and peered over at him. “Hey, I practically gave you my whole life’s story yesterday, but I don’t know much about you.”

  “My life’s pretty much an open book. What would you like to know?”

  “I don’t know. Tell me about your family. Is Dwight your only sibling?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you grow up here in Vancouver?” Typical male. It seemed like getting him to respond with more than one word answers was going to be a difficult task.

  “No, on Vancouver Island. My parents still live there. They run a bed and breakfast slash water buffalo farm in Duncan.”

  “Oh, cool. What do you do with water buffalo?” she asked, genuinely curious.

  “For one thing, you can use the milk to make yogurt and cheese. You know that mozzarella you liked so much at Granville Island Market? It’s one of ours.”

  “Wow!” She was impressed. Putting her chin in her hands, she raised an eyebrow. “Did you have to milk them as kids?”

  “Hell, yeah. Dwight and I both.”

  She laughed. “I can’t imagine. You and Dwight as farm boys. That I’d like to see!”

  “That could be arranged.” Marcus sat back. “You should come to the farm this weekend. We’re all heading to the island for Thanksgiving. You could fly out with Dwight and me.” He pulled out his cell phone.

  “Thanksgiving? But it’s only October.”

  “Canadians celebrate it earlier, the second Monday of this month,” he explained. “We have plenty of room at the house. The B and B shuts down for the holiday. My mom would love it. She’s been dying to meet you. Everything closes down here in the city, too. You might as well. Say yes.”

  “Ok. Ok. If you get your mom’s approval, I would love to come.”

  “Cool.” He selected recent calls off his phone log. His mom or dad called every day since rehab to check on him. “Hey, Mom… Yeah, I’m fine… Yes, I’m still coming… No, I’m not pushing myself too hard… No, Mom. No, the songwriting’s going great… Hey, can I get a word in edgewise? Thanks, Mom. Listen, I wanted to bring Avery over to stay with us for the holiday. Would that be alright with you? I know, I told him that. Ok, see you then. Thanks. Perfect. Love you, too. Bye.”

  “See, told you. Done,” he concluded, sounding like he was the winning lawyer in a court case. He glanced outside, then back at Avery. “Now that we’re warm and fueled up, do you think we can make the rest of the circuit?”

  “Yeah. Hopefully it’s not as cold outside as it was earlier.”

  Fortunately, the sun had emerged. They biked and explored until they were both worn out. When they were finally done, Ray was dutifully waiting for them in the aquarium parking lot, which was now packed with people.

  Walking back into the hotel after being dropped off, Avery beamed a three hundred and fifty thousand dollar smile. Money to pay Campanella on the way. Spending the day with Marcus. It had been a good day. A really good day. After
she let herself in her room, she collapsed on the bed, an exhausted but contented heap.

  “WE PLAN TO release ‘Brothers’ as the first single,” Mary announced to the group as they gathered around the conference table at Black Cat the next morning. “It’s strong enough to generate buzz for the album, which given Marcus and Avery’s current pace, should be done soon.”

  Marcus shot Avery a knowing smile.

  Avery tried not to grin back and shook her head at him. She was a little intimidated by her first formal promotional meeting.

  “We also have a plan to amp up media interest in the band.” Marcus shifted uneasily as Mary turned to focus on him. “I know you’re not going to be happy about this, but I’ve scheduled an interview for you with Carter Besille this afternoon.”

  “Not interested,” Marcus said flatly.

  “Listen, Marcus.” Mary held up her hand. “He’s in town to interview some actors and approached us about talking with you. You know the public has been anxious to hear from you since you were discharged. This is your chance to reconnect with your fans, and Besille’s show is a great platform to do that. It’s exposure on a national level and will focus attention right where we want it, on the band. And I promise you, we will be poised and ready to capitalize on it.”

  Marcus rubbed his sweaty palms on his legs, and a muscle in his jaw began to spasm from his clenched teeth. He knew he needed to do it. But Besille was a disingenuous self-serving weasel. Marcus had little use for people like him, and he was sure Besille knew it, too. There had always been an unspoken animosity between them on the rare occasion when they were forced to interact. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I don’t trust him. He always has some kind of whacked angle.”

  “They all do, Marcus,” Beth interjected. “We’ll send Stephen with you. And how about if I limit him to just a couple of questions? I’ll even tell him you’ll only answer questions pertaining to the band or rehab, ok?”

  “Alright,” he agreed reluctantly. He really hated this part of the business, straddling the always fine line between his artistic integrity and financial viability.