Loving Helen

by Michele Paige Holmes

  “Little wonder she thinks men are a disease,” Samuel muttered.

  “That was not the end of it,” Christopher said. “Father arrived just after I did. He made a show of taking Crayton to task for trying to ‘sample’ the wrong girl. But after he had left, Father unleashed his anger on Helen, shouting at her and hitting her more, telling her how he expected her to behave better next time — that if a man wanted her attention and was willing to pay for it, she’d best be prepared to give him what he wanted.”

  “Dear God,” Samuel exclaimed. “Her own father.”

  “He was never a father to any of us,” Christopher said. “We shed no tears at his passing.”

  “I can see why not,” Samuel said.

  “When he sent Grace off to be purchased by the highest bidder …”

  Samuel inwardly winced at Christopher’s choice of words. I was one of those bidders. At the time, he hadn’t realized the extent of her father’s wickedness — or Grace’s reluctance to marry.

  “We believed Helen to be temporarily safe. But Father had other plans. He’d contacted Crayton again to let him know that his younger daughter was all grown up — and available.”

  “How did you manage to escape a second time?” With no grandfather to come to your rescue and no funds or other relatives to turn to.

  “It was your letter,” Christopher said. “Your invitation to stay came at our most desperate hour.”

  Samuel considered this as they passed by several shops and neared the theatre district. Grace had not asked him to send for her siblings, but the idea to do just that had come to him, nonetheless. And he had acted on it immediately. Thank heavens. His heart lurched as he imagined what might have been Helen’s fate, had he not extended the invitation when he did.

  “We had been planning to leave,” Christopher continued his story. “Though truly, we’d no idea where to go. I think Helen was perhaps reconsidering marriage to the duke, though she would not have been happy with him.”

  “And here I have been telling her how beautiful she is,” Samuel said. “How men will vie for her attention — while she is no doubt well aware and only too eager to avoid that very thing. I am amazed we convinced her to come to London at all.”

  “She would do anything for Grace,” Christopher said. “Helen blames herself for our necessitated return to our father’s house after Grandfather’s death. The duke would have gladly allowed her to stay — and likely Grace and me as well — had Helen agreed to be his wife.”

  “Is he not a good man?” Samuel asked.

  Christopher shook his head. “In the little time I knew him it appeared he was short of temper and rather cruel. I do not believe him to be as bad as Crayton, but I saw little to recommend his character.”

  At last they turned to the street beside the theatre, and Samuel saw his carriage, sitting alone, the driver struggling to stay awake.

  “We are fortunate that nothing has befallen him,” he said as they hurried over.

  “My apologies,” Samuel called to the driver, who sat up quickly as they approached. “The lady was ill, and we left in a hurry much earlier.”

  The driver nodded, then made to jump down to get the door for them, but Samuel waved him away. “No need. Just get us home quickly.”

  They bundled inside, Christopher still taking care to protect his injured hand. The air inside felt even colder than it had seemed during their brisk walk.

  “You don’t think Crayton was looking for Helen tonight, do you?” Samuel asked when they were settled and the coach was moving.

  “I don’t see how he could have been,” Christopher said. “Though I worry he’ll do that very thing now.”

  “We are scheduled to dine with the Fredericks tomorrow evening. Shall we return home instead?”

  Christopher did not answer immediately but stared out the window, appearing to consider. “I do not see how Crayton could be at the Fredericks — or even learn of our presence there. But neither do I see that staying in London will accomplish what we had hoped. I did not see Lady Sutherland in her box tonight, so attending the theatre did not achieve our goal.”

  But we did. Helen enjoyed herself. Samuel could not regret the evening. He would always remember Helen’s sense of wonder, her appreciation, and the pleasure she’d taken from the performance. The pleasure I experienced being there with her.

  As much as he felt fear on her behalf, he also felt anger. How dare Crayton or anyone else keep Helen from living and enjoying life? The man had no claim on her; she ought to be free to attend the theatre or a ball as she pleased.

  “I admit that I am worried,” Christopher said.

  “For yourself or for your sister?” Samuel asked. “When we left, she was convinced that Crayton would murder you — if not tonight, then at some future time.”

  “That is not an unfounded concern,” Samuel said. “Though I think Helen has more cause to worry.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I hit Crayton tonight partly because I’ve wanted to — and he has deserved it for a long time — but more to create a distraction so she could get away quickly. I’ve no proof, but I believe that before Father died, he might have accepted money from Crayton in trade for Helen.”

  “And he died before he could deliver her,” Samuel said.

  “Or perhaps Father died because he didn’t deliver.” Christopher’s words hung in the air between them, throwing the chaise into an even deeper chill.

  “We’re going home tomorrow,” Samuel said. The prickle of fear he’d felt at the theatre when Crayton’s eyes had landed upon Helen took root. “I see now why a cut from your sister would not have sufficed to dismiss Crayton. You have my profound gratitude for your quick thinking and actions tonight.”

  “You are most welcome,” Christopher said. The coach grew quiet. Though the hour was late, Samuel found he was not tired. Instead his mind churned with possibilities and the magnitude of their problem.

  Crayton was not likely to go away. Suddenly the cause of reuniting Grace and Nicholas seemed insignificant. Samuel’s new worry — one he felt pressed to find a solution for immediately — was keeping Helen safe from Crayton and any other man who would ill use her.

  “One thing good has come of this,” Samuel remarked sometime later, when they had reached the townhouse and were ascending the steps. “I understand your sister better now. She is far braver than I had realized.”

  The country dance Helen had requested to attend in place of a city ball became a reality with the delivery of an invitation the week after they arrived home.

  “Grace says Mrs. Ellis is the biggest gossip in the shire,” Helen told both Christopher and Samuel after her sister had gone to bed. “Even if the Sutherlands are not in attendance, they are sure to hear about it. We must go. It is the perfect opportunity to prove to Lord Sutherland that you are otherwise attached.”

  Both men seemed surprised by her request.

  “Are you sure you are feeling up to it?” Samuel asked, genuine concern in both his voice and eyes. He’d been treating her this way — as if she were some sort of fragile doll — since the incident at the theatre. And while Helen could not say she disliked his concern, she did find it somewhat annoying. If she’d learned anything that night, it was that she had been missing a great deal that life had to offer. Crayton’s appearance had frightened her, to be certain, but not so much that it overshadowed the beauty of the evening.

  The music, the stage, the acting, and dancing — even the people in attendance — had all been mesmerizing. She hadn’t known where to look first, only that she must not look at Samuel, which had been all she wanted to do after he had begun to hold her hand.

  “I am perfectly well, thank you. We are not in London. Sir Crayton has no idea we are here, and even if he did, Christopher has another hand which he may break on my behalf.”

  Christopher flashed her a grin and growled good naturedly as he held up his bandaged fingers. “Any time, sister.”

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nbsp; “I believe that honor will be mine, if there is a next time,” Samuel said. “Had I known of Crayton’s past dealings with your family, I should have beat Christopher to the punch — or at the least joined him. Perhaps we could have finished Crayton off once and for all.”

  “He will not so easily be done away with,” Helen predicted. She bit her lip as the old worry resurfaced. “But we shall deal with him later. We must focus on the matter at hand. Grace intends to leave tomorrow.”

  “Harrison, Miranda, and I are going with her,” Christopher confirmed. “We’ll see her safely settled while you two see to turning Nicholas’s heart around.”

  “I don’t see how we can if Grace is gone,” Samuel said.

  Helen searched for any sign of melancholy from Samuel over Grace’s imminent departure. “He will have to come to her.”

  “He won’t,” Samuel said. “You don’t know how stubborn Nicholas is.”

  “He only needs the right motivation,” Helen said, more determined than ever for their plan to work. “Don’t worry. This will all come together splendidly. Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I’m off to bed. If I’m to be up dancing half the night next week, I need my sleep.”

  “Something has changed with her,” Samuel mused after Helen had gone upstairs.

  “She feels a little confidence I’d say, thanks to you.” Christopher stood and stretched. “I’m off to bed too. This hand hurts like the deuce, so it takes a while for me to fall asleep. And I’ve got a seven-hour ride to face tomorrow.”

  “About that — I’m sorry,” Samuel said. “A house for your family was not as easy to come by as I’d hoped. Grace was quite thorough in ruining her reputation.”

  Christopher waved off his concern. “Don’t trouble yourself over it. I wish we were closer to Helen, but, God willing, we won’t be there too long.”

  “God willing,” Samuel agreed.

  Christopher paused in the doorway and looked back. “Take care of Helen for me.”

  “I intend to,” Samuel promised.

  “I know,” Christopher said. “I just needed to hear you say it.”

  Samuel decided for certain that his new favorite color was red when Helen descended the stairs the evening of the Ellises’ ball. With the departure of her siblings and servants, he had insisted that Helen move her things to the main house. Knowing what he did of Crayton now, he did not wish her to be at the guest house without at least Harrison and Christopher present. Samuel had made his servants aware of the situation with Crayton, and all were on alert to watch out for him or any other stranger who ventured on his property.

  Helen’s farewell to her siblings had not been as tear-filled as Samuel had expected, but then, for the past week, Helen had not been quite what he’d expected. How was it that the incident he’d feared would have made her more apprehensive had somehow freed her to move forward?

  He’d never seen her happier — more radiant or talkative. And he’d never seen her lovelier than the moment she appeared on the stairs, in a white gown accented with intricate garnet beading and a crimson sash that fastened just above her small waist. Blonde curls fell perfectly around her face as she descended to meet him.

  She paused on the bottom step, fingers toying with the rubies resting at the base of her slender neck. He swallowed, keenly aware of her presence as long-forgotten feelings of attraction stole over him. His gaze strayed from Helen’s curls, to her eyes, and then her lips, which were turned up in a smile. They looked invitingly soft and welcoming.

  What am I thinking? He reined his thoughts in abruptly, took her gloved hand, and kissed the back of it. And that is to be all the kissing there is. He mentally scolded himself. Helen was like a younger sister. He wanted to see her properly launched, free to choose her own path to happiness and whatever gentleman claimed her heart. He would do well not to damage that heart in the meantime; elsewise he might be no better than Crayton and whatever other lecherous men her father had subjected his daughters to.

  He helped her with her wrap, and they stepped out into the snowy evening. With the day’s heavy snowfall, the carriage had been traded for a sleigh. Samuel wondered briefly how the others were getting on and if they’d been forced to stop their journey to make similar accommodations. He tried to muster some concern but couldn’t seem to keep his mind on Christopher and Grace, or even on Grace and Nicholas and their troubles. The woman sitting close beside him on the seat commanded all his attention, yet she hadn’t uttered a single word.

  “I hope you’ll be warm enough,” Samuel said, placing the heavy robes over their laps. “It isn’t often we have an evening like this, and I thought you might like —”

  “I love it,” Helen exclaimed. “The trees are simply gorgeous, and the moon is full. The night is stunning.”

  As are you. He kept his thoughts to himself, knowing as he did now what grief her beauty had brought her in the past. He valued Helen for much more than her appearance, and he wished her to realize that. “It is perfect, because I am in the best company.”

  Her only response was a smile. Samuel nodded to the driver, and they were off, gliding down the snowy lane as the bells on the horses’ harnesses jingled merrily and the lanterns swayed in front of them.

  Neither Samuel nor Helen spoke; there was no need to. The silence was comfortable, the night beautiful, with the tree branches silhouetted in white and delicate snowflakes falling around them in the silent, snowy wood.

  They passed Sutherland Hall, which looked as foreboding as ever. Light shone from Nicholas’s study, and Samuel wondered if Nicholas spent his days — and nights — busy in work as an attempt to forget Grace. Samuel felt a moment’s pity for his neighbor and former brother-in-law, no matter that there was bad history between them. I am doing what I can for Nicholas, Samuel thought then promptly returned his attention to Helen. For the moment, all was right and magical in his world, and he wished to enjoy it.

  Too soon they reached the Ellis residence. He lifted the blankets and climbed down, then held a hand out to Helen. She took it and did not let go even after reaching the ground.

  “Are you ready for this?” Samuel asked.

  “That depends,” she said. “Are you going to attempt a waltz with me in public?”

  “Never,” he said. “At least not at the Ellises’. Mrs. Ellis is so proper as to not entertain anything scandalous. In fact, I am rather surprised she has invited me at all, as I have no …”

  “Title. Yes, I believe you’ve mentioned that a few times,” Helen said, a smile in her voice. “Were you aware that I am also lacking in that department?”

  “We had best get your sister to patch things up with Lord Sutherland, then, and soon, too,” Samuel said. “At least then you’d have some claim to nobility.”

  She laughed. “That is exactly the reason we are doing this.”

  “Helen.” He caught her arm, stopping her before she could begin the walk to the house. “You look beautiful tonight. I know that such words don’t please you, but—”

  “It pleases me that you think so.” Her eyes darkened, and he glimpsed the serious side of her for a brief second. Just as quickly, the look was gone, and her earlier merriment returned. “You are not bad-looking yourself, for a man without a title.” She tossed her curls and walked ahead of him on the snowy path.

  Is she flirting with me? He hurried after her.

  She left her wrap, and he his coat, with the butler and followed the line of guests into the ballroom. It was a bigger assembly than Samuel had expected, and he worried that Helen might be overwhelmed. She kept her hand on his arm even after they entered the ballroom, and he wasted no time asking her to dance.

  “May I have the honor?” he asked, inclining his head toward the dance floor.

  She merely smiled and allowed him to lead her to the center of the room and into formation for a quadrille. The last time he’d danced one had been just a few weeks ago, on Christmas Eve, when he’d partnered with Grace. It wasn’t a particularly en
joyable dance — Grace had been rather preoccupied, and Nicholas had looked wont to murder him.

  Samuel hoped this dance tonight would be a vast improvement. He considered all that had happened since the last and felt somewhat uncomfortable in realizing that his feelings had changed so much. It was not that he didn’t care for Grace any longer — he always would — but the manner of his love had changed, had transformed to that of a friend … which told him the depth of his feelings had not been what he had proclaimed them to be.

  Though they might have been. He and Grace could have been happy together.

  Just as Helen and I could be happy together. He pushed the absurd thought aside. He had promised her brother that he would take care of her, and Samuel very much doubted that taking care included indulging in his own, developing feelings. Doing his best to keep that in mind, he bowed, and the dance began.

  They were among the first couples to take their turn, and as they promenaded around the circle, Samuel noted the attention of the other men straying from their partners to Helen. She’d also caught the eye of several others — men and women — around the room. Little wonder, striking as she was in white and crimson and with her halo of golden curls. He only hoped that the attention she garnered would be the right kind.

  If his servants were to be believed, ever since Nicholas’s ball, the gossip had changed from berating Grace to speaking of what a good match she had made and how remarkable it was that she’d gained Lady Sutherland’s favor and tamed her son. Samuel hoped the same good favor might transfer to Grace’s sister tonight.

  Silently he assessed each man present, considering them as possible suitors for Helen. Mr. Penhale was too old and stodgy; Helen would be bored in an instant — for while Samuel had at first believed her incapable of stimulating conversation, of late he’d discovered in her an animated intellect, a young lady most enjoyable to talk with, though their silence on the ride over tonight had been every bit as pleasant and comfortable as their recent conversations.