by A. M. Brooks
“Okay,” he says before looking at his watch. “I have to get going. What time is Trent picking you up?”
“He should be here in about an hour,” I respond. “Dad, it’s fine, just go.”
He nods his head. Indecision written all over his face. “Really, Dad, I’m fine. You should go.”
“Okay,” he backs up. “Please be home at a decent time. I know you will be eighteen in a few weeks but remember you do have school tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir. I jokingly salute him. His nervous energy is causing me more anxiety. Finally he leaves and I can breathe again when I hear his car engine start.
The hour goes by too fast, only giving me time to unpack my suitcase and stand under the shower for a few minutes to scrub the anxiety sweat off my body. It’s just dinner at Shea’s, so I decide shorts and tank top with a sweater cardigan is the way to go. I throw my hair up in a top knot and head down the stairs right when there is a knock at the door.
“You’re on time to the minute,” I laugh at Trent’s expression as I open the door. He grins back at me and I instantly feel better.
“I’ve learned it’s frowned upon to keep a woman waiting,” he says. I notice he is wearing his riding jacket and the tell-tale sign of helmet hair.
“The bike?” I question. Trent has been saying all summer he would get me on the back of his motorbike despite my protests.
“I promise,” he says as he stops me, turning me to face him. “I will drive the speed limit and be extra cautious. You’re going to love it. There is nothing better.” He bites the inside of his cheek. Something I’ve learned that Trent does when he is unsure of himself. Rarely is Trent nervous about anything. Driving a dirt bike toward a twenty-foot dirt mound then flipping backward in the air has made him almost fearless. Stadiums of fans screaming his name has made him sure of himself. I roll my eyes.
“Fine,” I relent. “But if you kill me, I will haunt your ass ‘til the day you die.”
“Threat received,” he nods, holding his hands in front of his body.
“So how do we do this,” I sigh as we reach the all-black Kawasaki Ninja H2R.
“Take this,” he says, handing me his jacket. “And this.” He hands me the extra helmet that was hanging on the back seat. I shove the coat on and zip it all the way to my neck. It’s a couple sizes too big and hangs way past my fingertips.
“What about you?” I ask while pulling my hair out of the top-knot and making a low ponytail instead.
“I’ll be fine,” he replies, shrugging before pulling the helmet down over my head. My ears are instantly muffed. His voice sounds like I’m swimming underwater while he pulls the clip tight and explains how I’ll get on.
Trent swings his leg over the side and balances the bike while reaching for my hand. My left foot balances while he helps me to swing my right leg over. Before I can relax, Trent’s helmet is on and he starts the engine. I can feel the bike pulse beneath me, and my legs shake from the vibration. I grip my arms tighter around Trent and feel his back shake from laughing. My eyes clamp tightly closed when we start to move. My body is stiff as a board and I’m glued to him I feel his back vibrate again against my cheek. My lips twitch as I try not to laugh at myself as well.
The bike moves side to side, and I know we are getting closer to the main roads. With the wind whipping against my helmet, it is easier to drown out the worries that are warring inside me. My body begins to feel weightless. I open my eyes and it really is like flying. I squeeze Trent around the middle once. It’s all over before I have the chance to fully get comfortable and we’re pulling into Shea’s driveway.
“You ready for this?” Trent asks. He nods toward the house.
“It’s just the girls, right?” I inquire again.
“Lily said just us, her, Olivia, and Shea,” Trent confirms. “She wouldn’t do that to you.” I know he’s right, but an irrational part of my brain wonders if Ethan would be showing up. Lily visited me once a month while I was gone. The fact that she was dating Ethan was never brought up. No one spoke about the Kings around me. We walk inside the door just in time for Olivia to crash right into me.
“Oh my God, I missed you so much!” she says while hugging me tighter. Olivia had worked all summer to save for college. Only once was she able to visit with Lily. Not that I minded. I knew how important going to school was for her. We kept in contact with texts and meme wars.
“My turn,” Shea states, laughing and tugging at Olivia’s arm. I hug Shea as well.
“Thanks for having us over tonight,” I tell her. “I know it was last minute.”
“No problem, girl,” she reassures me. “I’m so glad you’re back. Now these two can stop moping about not seeing you.” She points to Lily and Olivia.
“Hey!” Lily hiccups, laughing right before her eyes fill up with tears.
“Don’t start,” I warn her, feeling the same burn start behind my eyeballs.
“I won’t!” she says before pulling me into another hug.
“Missed you,” I tell her, patting her back.
“I missed you,” she responds while sniffling into my shoulder.
“I can’t handle all this emotion and girly stuff right now,” Trent mutters, shaking his head causing us to laugh more.
“Let’s eat then,” Shea announces. She ushers us through her home and into the kitchen. I can smell the peppers and sizzling chicken right away.
“Fajitas!” I yell. “I love fajitas. Thank you, Shea!” I tell her before giving her another hug.
“I thought it would make you happy,” she says as we all take a seat around the table. Suddenly starving, I take three tortillas right away and start heaping my plate with veggies, cheese, and rice. Everyone is talking, but all I do is shove food in my mouth. I’m keenly aware when the table goes quiet.
“What?” I question, swallowing my last bite. Trent is watching me with amusement in his eyes.
“Nothing, Sutton.” He shrugs. “It’s good to see you eating.”
“You see me eat all the time,” I remind him before chomping into another bite of flavorful goodness.
He shrugs. “That was there. You’re back here now.”
It suddenly clicks. I look down feeling slightly embarrassed. “I’m fine guys, really. No matter what happens, I know I need to be healthy. Sorry if I made you worry.”
“It’s okay,” Olivia comforts me, putting her hand over mine. “You went through hell. But I agree with Trent, it’s good to see you eat.”
“I heard you’re kickboxing?” Shea asks, changing the subject. I nod, answering around another bite.
“Yup. I took a self-defense class my aunt wanted to go to. The instructor also teaches kickboxing, so he started training me. It’s fun,” I tell them.
“Nice,” Shea says with a smile on her face. I make eye contact with Lily across the table. She is the only one who knows what happened at Roman’s party last year. I was able to push the panic and fear down to make it through, but it started resurfacing in nightmares once I was in Seattle. It was true my aunt did see the flyer for self-defense classes at her gym. I was the one though who pushed her to do it with me. Never again did I want to feel helpless in a situation like that.
“Your wicked sister leave for college already?” Trent asks Lily. His mouth full of tortilla chips and salsa.
Lily looks at me first, but I just smile at her reassuringly. Despite everything that happened and how Taylor treated me, I had to hand it to her that she was right. Darrian had been bad for me and picked Mikayla until the very end.
“Uh, yeah,” Lily answers, shrugging. “Everyone is gone now. Everyone who is going to state and universities anyway.” I feel myself flinch involuntarily. Silence is thick in the air. I know they’re waiting for me to say something. For the past three months, I’ve stopped myself from thinking of Darrian. Lily and I never spoke about her relationship with Ethan. That may have made me a bad friend, but my own mental health needed the break. Still, it was a relief t
o know that my tormentors and people I had thought were friends were now gone.
“Or jail,” I say, keeping my eyes on my plate. I hear Olivia snort next to me.
“I’m sorry,” she says before bursting into body heaving laughs. Trent starts laughing while watching Olivia. My eyes bounce up and catch Shea silently shaking from holding in her laughter. Lily catches my gaze next and she is smiling.
“Well at least we can joke about it,” she says, lifting her shoulders. I smile back before raising my glass for a cheers.
“Roman and Cody, may they rest in peace in their tiny cells. And to Mikayla and her family…karma is a bitch!” Our glasses with virgin margarita mix clink together. I can’t help feeling happy that I decided to come here tonight. I missed my friends more than I knew. “What else have I missed?” I ask.
They all look at each other again with knowing expressions. I feel tension ebbing into my shoulders.
“Hannah moved,” Lily answers into her margarita glass. My shoulders relax a little hearing this. “Her parents were both given orders to move to a different base,” she continued.
“It was about two weeks after you left,” Olivia finished. She doesn’t have to say it. We all know that situation was probably touched by the Kings. No way would both a husband and wife be stationed elsewhere without even being at this base a full year. I look at Trent and he shrugs. He knew already. Because of my strict no Kings talk, he never mentioned it.
“Is it bad that I’m relieved she won’t be here this year?” I ask. My voice quiet. I can feel the anger coiling in my chest as pieces of that night float in my memory. I thought she had been my friend.
-“No.”
-“Absolutely not.”
-“Nope.”
-“Fuck no.”
Trent’s answer brings a smile to my lips again.
“Good. I felt so stupid, you guys. I really thought she was my friend. Turns out she was a backstabbing, social-climbing bitch,” I say as I swipe the one tear that managed to escape down my cheek.
“Nora—” Trent starts to say, but I cut him off with a smile.
“I’m good. I’m glad I won’t have to see her. I just wish I had the opportunity to say to her how I felt. The anger used to just sit there and eat at me for weeks. Now though…now I think I just feel sorry for her. Hopefully she’ll figure it out and can be her own person someday.” I lean back in my chair and let the air escape me.
“Well that’s more mature than I would feel about it,” Shea grins.
“I get it though,” Olivia chimes in. “I would be angry as hell too, but Hannah was spiraling for a while. Bitch move. Clearly not a good friend. But I hope she gets help too.”
“Cheers,” Lily states, clinking her glass with Olivia’s.
“Nothing else is new though, right?” I ask again, trying to lighten the mood back up.
“I think that covers it,” Olivia replies, glancing at everyone.
“Umm,” Lily says with a sigh. “I wasn’t going to say anything…but—”
“What?” I ask her. I notice for the first time tonight that Lily looks exhausted and her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Ethan and I broke up for good this time,” she answers quietly. She avoids my gaze because she thinks she broke the rule. Now I do feel like the shitty friend.
“Lily.” I get up and walk over to her chair. Perching on her armrest, I pull my best friend into a hug. I feel selfish that she has been keeping this to herself without feeling like she could talk to me. “I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair and I feel her body shudder as she cries. Soon Olivia is rubbing her back and Shea is holding her hand. I look at Trent and notice the uncomfortableness in his posture. He gives me a half-smile and takes a small bite of his fajita.
“Lily,” I tell her. “I hope it’s not because you think I’d be mad at you. I know I needed a break from them, but if you love him, I would never want to come between you guys.”
She shakes her head before pulling away so she can brush the hair out of her eyes. “It’s not you, trust me. He gives me whiplash. He loves me but isn’t who I think he is apparently and he’s afraid of hurting me. So we ended it again.” I hand her a napkin to dry her eyes.
“Well, he’s an idiot. If he let you go, he’s a fucking idiot,” I respond, shaking my head. A small laugh escapes.
“I was scared to tell you. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your night,” she says.
“I’m not mad. I just feel bad you thought you couldn’t tell me,” I confess, giving her another quick hug. “Personally, you guys, I think the King ban was great for the summer. I’m in a better place, but the truth is we live in Araminta. I’m going to hear about the Kings whether I want to or not. It’s okay now,” I voice the words I’ve been spinning in my mind all day. Shea and Olivia share a smile and Trent gives me a wink. It’s time to move on. I’m done running. I’m back and I will not be their plaything.
“So did you really mean that?” Trent asks me as we slide off his bike. I think about what he is asking as we walk to the outlook over the city. Leaning against the barrier, I think about the best way to answer him.
“Which part?” I inquire, peering at him under my eyelashes.
“That you are in a better place,” he responds. He’s not looking at me but studying his boot.
I inhale long and hold my breath before answering. “Truthfully, I think I am. I’m not going to lie, I’m still angry and sometimes I fantasize about chopping his other leg off so he can never walk again, but then I think about the hospital and it fades away. I hope he got help. It just took me a long time to accept I couldn’t help him if he wasn’t ready for it.”
Trent nods his head like he’s processing everything I’m saying. “What if he reaches out to you?” he questions, and my breath catches for a second. It’s another scenario I’ve played over in my head a million times.
“I’m not sure,” I answer truthfully.
“Nora—” Trent starts to say more, but I cut him off.
“I can’t lie, Trent. If he tried to talk to me, I’m not sure what I’d do. I hope I can keep my cool and lay it down that I don’t want anything to do with him. That he hurt me too many times. I’m scared though that I’ll see red and go off on him. That he will see how much he destroyed me. I’m not sure which scenario is worse.” I breathe shakily remembering the last time I saw Darrian. Tubes were flowing in and out of his body and blood was dried to the side of his mouth. I never wanted that either. I close my eyes against the memory. I don’t like the way my chest squeezes when I remember that day.
“Nora,” Trent tries again. “This summer you were healing. I’m happy you came back, don’t get me wrong, I just hope you stay strong.”
“I’ll be okay,” I reassure him, moving so that we stand shoulder to shoulder. I lean my head against his bicep. “Thank you for being there for me so many times,” I tell him.
“Of course,” he says, sighing then uncrossing his arms. His hand picks up mine. “I need to tell you something.” His voice goes quiet. My body tenses at his tone. I can feel he is rigid next to me. The usual playfulness is replaced with concern.
“Tell me,” I say, moving closer to him. Chills spread over my body.
Trent exhales. “It has to do with Cody.” I stop breathing. “When he was busted, it set off a chain of events that I don’t think you know about. Lily said at one of Roman’s parties, you guys saw some dudes repping their set?”
“What does that mean?” I ask, racking my brain to remember everything that I saw that night before the drugs set in.
“A few guys had yellow bandanas or black and yellow Jordans…” His voice drifts off as I process what he’s saying.
“Yeah,” I answer, clearing my throat. “I saw.”
“That’s a big fuckin’ deal, Nora.” He shakes his head. “Those guys aren’t high schoolers playing around. They’re members of the Zero-Thirteen.”
“I don’t know what that is Trent,” I
say, pulling away and moving in front of him. The cool cement of the barrier digs into my lower back.
“They’re bad…a dangerous gang and you fucked them over basically,” Trent explains, running his hands through his hair.
I don’t know why, but I start laughing. The whole situation is comical to me.
“How does one high school kid being arrested fuck over a gang?”
“It’s not just about Cody,” he explains. I see the fear in Trent’s eyes when he looks at me and the laughter stops. “Cody was a dealer. Parties, pep-rallies, bathrooms, you name it. He had a year of juvie then he’ll probably be on probation. Not a huge deal. It’s what happened farther up the line.”
“Roman,” I whisper his name. A small sliver of ghost pain twinges in my neck. I can still see the black of his eyes staring into mine while he held that blade to my throat.
“Roman is The Connect between Cody and the Zero-Thirteen, Nora. Whatever they got on Cody was enough to also pin down Roman. DTF has been after the Zero-Thirteen for years but has never had enough to pin them down. Cody is also Pierce’s cousin. Pierce is second in command. This shit goes all the way up to possibly the cartel, Nora. It’s a big fucking deal. And they have a score to settle with you now.”
“Me?” I repeat, totally caught off guard. “What the hell. I’m a high school student. How was I supposed to know they were criminals and gang-affiliated?” I whisper-yell.
Trent pinches the bridge of his nose. The tension is still visible in his body. “You shouldn’t have to know. You shouldn’t have even been there.”
“How do you know all this?” I ask. “How do you know about this Pierce guy. I’ve never heard his name.”
“He went to school with my older cousin. Pierce was bad news back then. Rumor was that his biological dad was deep in the cartel and was waiting for Pierce to be old enough to join.”
“The fuck,” I say to no one in particular.
“The Zero-Thirteen has been operating mostly south of Araminta. They stay out of King territory and in return, everyone turns the other cheek.”